(BL) Taming the Field Guide

It took about 15 minutes for the two of them to finish their lists, Brent’s taking a shorter amount of time considering he had less experience and didn’t know the technical terms of a lot of the things that he’d glimpse Sergei put down, but he didn’t think that mattered. As long as they were able to communicate with each other, Brent had a feeling that this would work out.

Brent’s no list was pretty short. Scat, golden showers, child play. Essentially, Brent didn’t like bodily functions and pretending to be a child. He wanted them both to be adults, consenting adults, and maybe if there was a pair of cat ears or something involved at the same time, he wouldn’t really care.

If there was leather, even better.

Brent had even started to doodle around the edge of the paper while Sergei kept writing. He didn’t want to rush the man, and so he rotated between drinking his wine and drawing. By the time that Sergei was done, Brent had made a rather ugly-looking flower and a dog. Both hideous.

"Are you done, zaichonok?" Sergei asked and Brent nodded.

"Yeah. I feel like I used broader terms than you did, but that’s fine." Brent said with a shrug. Sergei smiled, looking over at Brent’s page with a chuckle.

"Is that a flower?" Sergei asked and Brent nodded.

"Yup, and that’s a dog so you don’t get confused about asking what it is." Brent told him with a grin. "I’m not the best at art." Brent said with a shrug. Sergei looked over the doodles, his expression soft.

"I think you’re better than you give yourself credit for. I can, at the very least, tell that they are both a flower and a dog. You’ve also made little animals for me before by folding paper into shapes." Sergei pointed out. Brent shrugged.

"Yeah, but you need two hands to do that, so now I’m just a one-handed terrible artist." Brent said with a sigh. Sergei’s expression sharpened, clearly displeased.

"You’ve brought up your lack of another limb a few times. Does it bother you that you don’t have both of your hands right now?" Sergei asked. "Before you answer, I want you to know that I like you with one or two arms. I’ve never cared. I’m just worried about what you want." Sergei said.

Brent halted. He hadn’t realised that he’d made so many comments about it, enough to make Sergei ask him about it. Brent hadn’t thought much of it. They were just passive comments to Brent, but clearly, from the look on Sergei’s face, that wasn’t what he felt.

"I’m not that bothered." Brent told him, but the words didn’t feel quite right. From the look on Sergei’s face, he didn’t believe him either.

Brent sighed, turning his face away from the open concern on Sergei’s and stared at the stainless steel fridge across from him. It was silent for a moment before Brent spoke again.

"I’m pretty sure I’m fine." Brent muttered. "It wasn’t that great in the beginning, but the phantom pains aren’t that often. The prosthetics helped, but maybe because I’ve been without one for a while I’m getting a little weird about it. I didn’t notice." Brent admitted and Sergei reached out, placing his hand on his knee. He gave it a squeeze, his eyes soft.

"It’s okay. I’m not judging you in the slightest. I’ve just noticed...and I also noticed that it restricts your movements. You don’t seem as bright when you’re aware of your missing arm." Sergei was gentle as he said it, even as it made Brent’s mouth dry out.

"L-Let’s not focus on that. How about we focus on the lists, hmm?" Brent said, cutting off the direction of the conversation. Sergei gave Brent’s knee a squeeze, clearly folding to his wishes.

Brent turned to his own list, staring at the page that was considerably less full when compared to the sheet that Sergei had made. It should have intimidated him, but instead, Brent just felt a small sense of amusement fill him instead. It was probably fueled by his desire to run away from his personal feelings involving his missing arm and lack of prosthetics, and Brent was fine with that.

"Okay, what’s in your no category?" Brent asked, turning to look at Sergei’s paper. Much like Brent, Sergei’s no category wasn’t long and detailed, but clear and concise. He had similar nos to Brent, which Brent was relieved about, but there were also a few that surprised him. There were a few that Brent had a pretty good idea he knew what they were, but he’d probably have to ask for clarification.

"I feel like I may have to educate you on a few of the terms I’ve used now that I have seen your list." Sergei said quietly. No judgement, no condescending tone, just a man who knew more than Brent and was happy to explain what he’d written. Brent nodded, staring at the list for a few seconds longer.

"Feeding means food, right?" Brent asked and Sergei nodded.

"Yes. While I do enjoy watching you eat and make sure you’ve met your needs as a Guide, I don’t want to watch you blossom into an unhealthy territory and I don’t want to encourage that either." Brent blinked.

"People are into that?" Brent asked and Sergei laughed. He still had his hand on Brent’s knee and Brent twitched as the man slowly began to rub his thumb against Brent’s outer thigh.

"Zaichonok, if you can think of it, people are into it. I knew of an Esper who was into Guides cracking eggs on his chest and watching them cook. He was a Fire Esper." Brent shuddered.

"You’re not into that, right?" Brent asked and Sergei chuckled. When Brent met his gaze, it was soft, but there was a deeper, hidden worry.

"No, I’m not, but I won’t lie and say that I don’t have kinks." Sergei said carefully. "I am a Captain, after all. That comes with a cost." He said. Brent frowned, staring at him before he raised his hand and gently moved it towards Sergei’s face. Sergei let him as Brent gently touched one of his lip piercings.

"This is a form of it, isn’t it? You like pain, don’t you?" Brent asked carefully and Sergei let out a soft breath.

"Yeah. It helps me focus. The pain is a good distraction." Sergei admitted and Brent frowned.

"Does it have to be pain? Does guiding not help?" Brent asked and Sergei hesitated.

"I’m not Rhys, Brent. Rhys is crazy because of his powers, I’m just...I think I would have had these inclinations whether I awoke as an S Class or not." Sergei answered quietly.

"I’m not judging you, I’m trying to understand." Brent told him and Sergei swallowed.

"Right. Apologies. I’m just nervous you’re going to see something on the list and get scared. Or not want to stay." Sergei admitted.

"What? Just because you like something doesn’t mean we have to do it, or that we have to work our way up from 0 to 100. We can take our time, Sergei, and whether or not I’d done anything with others or not, we would have had to have this conversation eventually. I just pushed it so that we would have it sooner. For your sake, and mine." Brent told him. Sergei’s eyes were a force to be reckoned with when he stared into Brent’s eyes. So alive and forceful, and a little scared still.

"Okay." Sergei said, squeezing Brent’s knee before turning to his list. "I agree with the bodily function issue that you have. If something happens while we’re making love, that’s different, but I don’t want to encourage it." Sergei said. Brent nodded in understanding. I’m not a big fan of breaking bones, mutilation that isn’t piercings or something similar, long term bruising, branding with fire and iron but collars or something similar would be fine, bestiality is a very firm no, and funnily enough, needles. I really don’t like them." Sergei said. Sergei had said everything that Brent hadn’t said, but he was sure that he’d condensed it for Brent.

There was a lot more listed there then what he’d said.

"Okay. I can agree with all of those. I’m not exactly the branding type, but I appreciate that you were thorough." Brent spoke as he scanned Sergei’s yes column. Some of the words there made his head spin, but he could tell that his boyfriend had really made sure to put the proper names there. "Lots of this list has to do with pain, Sergei." Brent commented. "And...you didn’t bring this one up." Brent said, pointing to one on the no column that he hadn’t said. Sergei cleared his throat.

"I uh, just wasn’t sure if I should say it." Sergei muttered and Brent turned to look at him, frowning.

"I’m not going to get mad that you don’t want to bring someone else into our relationship in any capacity. It’s like you think I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I know S Classes are possessive in nature. I wouldn’t deny you that in the same breath that I would tell you to get over it if you were taking it too far. I’m not cruel, Sergei." Brent said. "Which does surprise me because in the maybe column you have dp. I know what that means, so how would that work?" Brent asked, turning to look at Sergei.

Sergei was flushed.

"We could get a machine or a dildo that had a suction cup." Sergei suggested. It seemed like he was having a harder time speaking about this topic then Brent was.

"I think both of those options are interesting. I saw a few options when I was looking at sites with Kellen." Brent said, his eyes going back to the list. Brent nearly choked when he saw a particular name in the yes column. "You like sounding?!" Brent asked and Sergei coughed.

"It has...its uses." Sergei murmured. Brent felt like he was just trying to be less enthusiastic about his list. That confirmed one thing for Brent. If they were in the yes column the likelihood that he’d tried them just skyrocketed, while the maybe column was probably things he hadn’t but would like to. Brent sighed.

"Okay, so leather is fine, pain is fine, bondage is pretty broad, but I’m sure we can discuss that. My only serious question is that do you want to tie me up, bind me, all that kind of stuff or are you wanting me to do this to you?" Brent asked and watched as Sergei flushed. The man was embarrassed to talk about this even though he was the one who brought it up. It just made him cuter.

"In the past I would have firmly said that I want most of this done to me, but if you are curious, I am open to trying other things. I don’t want to take that option away from you, and I don’t want you to go to someone else to get your needs met." Sergei said seriously. Brent nodded, knowing at the very least, that was true.

"Okay, so this long list of things that sound like a lot of work are things you want done to you. I’m assuming then you already have, what? A sex dungeon? Is that what they call it?" Brent asked and watched him turn pink.

"No, not really. Most of this I figured out on my own. Just simple things that I could get myself out of." Brent stared at the list. How in the world did he get himself out of spreading bars? He was fairly certain he’d seen those before in a store and they seemed like a two person job. Then, it clicked.

"You used your powers?" Brent asked, amazed and confused all at once. Sergei nodded.

"Yeah. I don’t trust many people with my body, zaichonok." Brent blinked. So, in many ways, they were doing this together for the first time as first timers. Wasn’t that sweet?