(BL) Taming the Field Guide

No one patched up the bleeding Esper. Not even the Healing Esper that had remained with the crowd on top of the tower did. Kellen would have felt an ounce of sympathy for the woman if he wasn’t still trying to grapple with what the hell had just happened.

He knew he was in shock, that much was clear from how Rhys and Sergei were treating him, but it wasn’t as if he could voice what he thought had happened with so many people around. The reason why Kellen thought he might be so shocked was because, well...he didn’t get a single warning. Even in gates when he’d had a similar power to what appeared to be developing, he’d never acted without being aware of it.

If that was what this power was shaping up to be, that was horrifying. Not being aware of what his body was doing? Even if it was to protect himself? That would mean he couldn’t trust himself and that scared him to no end.

If there was one thing that Kellen had been able to trust, it was his own body. That was why this was so jarring.

Kellen couldn’t help but keep coming back to the reality that his body had moved without his permission. That was the scariest part. What if...What if something terrible happened and he accidentally shot Rhys? Or his parents? Or Gwen?

Kellen felt the colour drain from his face and Rhys, who had been keeping an eye on him while also keeping an eye on the situation, realised that something was going very wrong.

"Kellen? Sugar? Why’re you going so pale? What are you thinking about? Did you get hurt?" Rhys asked and all attention turned from shutting down the tower to Kellen in a heartbeat. Kellen couldn’t even protest. It felt like the words were getting caught in his throat.

All at once Kellen realised he was in the middle of a panic attack.

He raised a desperate eye to Rhys, hoping that the man would understand that he wasn’t okay and was thankful when Rhys’ soft, loving expression hardened. He grabbed Kellen, pulling the man up his body like he weighed nothing and scooping his arm up under his ass. He held him there, angling his body so that Kellen was leaning against him without much effort.

"Elder Ellis, we need a few more minutes in the tower if you don’t mind." Rhys wasn’t asking the other man and for his part, Elder Ellis just nodded, his eyes wide as he watched Kellen shiver. Rhys shared a look with Sergei before he took off down the stairs trying to maintain Kellen’s privacy. Kellen could barely see, his vision already bad because he only had use of one eye and it was made worse from the overwhelming weight that was pressing in on him.

His chest was tight, his body cold and warm at the same time and his hands and feet felt like they were asleep. He couldn’t get a proper breath in and it wasn’t until Rhys put him down and practically crawled on top of him, cupping his face, that Kellen was able to focus on anything.

Rhys’ eyes were a hypnotic shade of yellow, so vibrant that Kellen couldn’t look away.

"Kellen, focus on me, alright? Breathe in, breathe out. In time with me. Don’t focus on anything else." Rhys’ words washed over Kellen, and while he wasn’t able to really process what he was saying, he was able to follow his instructions. Slowly, Rhys negotiated Kellen’s overactive body down off of the edge. Kellen wasn’t even aware of the desperate way he clung to Rhys’ hands, nor the way that Rhys’ body was wound so tight he could snap at any second.

When Kellen finally could breathe without assistance, that was when the waterworks started. That seemed to be the worst response Kellen could come up with in this situation.

"Kellen?" Rhys asked, choked as Kellen’s eye poured tears and the eyepatch grew damp.

"What if I hurt you?" Kellen rasped, speaking his true fear out loud. Rhys softened immediately, yanking Kellen close and wrapping him up in a bear hug.

"Oh sugar." Rhys whispered, holding him. "You wouldn’t ever. You just protected yourself." Rhys told him soothingly but Kellen couldn’t really be consoled.

"What if I view you as a threat? What if I shoot you? Why did I react like that without me knowing?" Kellen sobbed and Rhys twitched.

"We’ll look into it." Rhys promised, his voice fierce. "We’ll make sure that we know why it happens. I promise. I would never let you feel this way when I know we can do things to help alleviate your fears." Kellen held onto Rhys tightly, not wanting to let go of the man. He didn’t have anyone else to lean on right now. No one else understood what Kellen was going through.

"Did you have this fear? That you were going to hurt the people around you?" Kellen asked and Rhys tensed.

"I did." Rhys said slowly, carefully, "but we found out how my powers worked and realised that I wasn’t capable of that kind of power manipulation. We just need to find out what yours are, Kellen, and everything will be okay. My guess, for what it’s worth, is that I think your gut instinct is to protect yourself. Your body has been doing that for years, and while you’ve jumped quite a bit, I don’t think it would deny who you are as a person. It’s why my powers don’t affect those I care about. It’s because I didn’t have a lot of those when I developed my powers. I was more interested in those outside of my orbit than inside." Hearing Rhys speak about his powers so candidly shook some of the remaining confusion and fear off of Kellen.

He sniffed, still holding onto Rhys tightly and blinked a few times. His eyes felt swollen, and he was annoyed that he was going to show others this face.

"You had Gunther." Kellen argued, never about to let the man say he was alone. Rhys laughed.

"Yeah, but I was never worried that Theo was going to hurt me. I was more worried that people who weren’t related to me would, so that’s my guess about why my powers don’t seem to care about those close to me. It’s annoying, but I can’t really blame anyone else." Kellen growled. It was weak and pitiful, but the sentiment was there.

"Blame your parents." Kellen said, his whole chest behind his words. Rhys laughed, squeezing Kellen tightly.

"Yeah, you and Theo agree on that point. Either way, while I’m no expert on how Espers develop their powers, I feel I can speak as your elder here." Rhys said, pulling back enough that he could stare into Kellen’s eyes as he spoke. "I don’t think you would hurt us. It’s not something that would ever cross your mind, and you’re far too sane for me to even consider that a possibility right now. We can discuss it more later, but Kellen, your body just saved your life. You understand that, right?" Rhys softened his voice, his eyes scanning Kellen’s face.

That was when Kellen realised that Rhys might also need some comfort. Sniffing, he leaned in again and squeezed Rhys.

"I’m sorry. I was so shocked that I-"

"Do not apologise." Rhys ground. "Not you. You did nothing wrong. The fact that they thought you owed them anything is not your fault. Please. I don’t want to hear you apologise ever again for protecting yourself. Everyone on the roof would agree with me too." Rhys sounded like he was barely holding it together, and as Kellen took stock of the area around them, he realised that he was.

The air was chilly, his body wound so tight that Kellen realised he could snap. Without much thought, Kellen began to pour some of his guiding into him through their touch. Rhys grumbled, but didn’t push Kellen off, never would. Kellen only stopped when Rhys’ body softened under his touch.

When Kellen was finally self aware enough to look around them, he realised they weren’t even in the main circular chamber of the tower. Rhys had taken them lower, probably with the use of his power and had placed them in the room for Guides. It was probably an extra precaution and Kellen felt himself soften further for the man. Kellen pulled him close, sighing as he felt Rhys’ heart pound, his blood pulse, and knew he was alive and well.

"We need to get back upstairs and deal with this mess." Kellen muttered. "I was doing so well, too." Kellen sounded genuinely upset. Rhys paused.

"What?" He asked, confused as he pulled back slightly, lifting a hand to wipe under Kellen’s eyes. Kellen grimaced at the touch but didn’t pull away. He made a face when Rhys raised his damp thumb to his mouth.

"Rhys, no. It’s still poisonous." Kellen argued but Rhys just grinned, sticking his thumb into his mouth.

"I have to be immune at this point, right? I’ve swallowed your cum at this point." Kellen glared at him. "And what were you saying you were doing so well?" Rhys asked as Kellen continued to glare at him.

"I hadn’t shot anyone yet. I was almost out of here and then someone had to ruin it for me." Kellen muttered. Rhys’ eyes bulged before he started laughing. He pulled Kellen close, kissing his forehead warmly.

"Oh, you sweet thing!" Rhys roared with laughter, holding Kellen in his arms. It was just as well since that was when a tentative knock came from the door.

"Esper Thatcher? Guide Kellen? Are you alright in there?" It was Elder Ellis, and given that he had waited until now to knock, he was probably waiting to make sure that they were both okay. Kellen gently pushed Rhys off of him, taking his hand as he got to his feet.

"Much better now, Elder Ellis. Sorry for delaying our departure." Kellen called before they both headed for the door. Rhys made sure that their uniforms at least were in the best shape they could be when Kellen opened the door. Elder Ellis stood on the other side, his features pulled down into concern. He scanned them both before he sighed and shook his head.

"There is never a need to apologise for something like this. I’m just sorry that you had to experience something like this, and grateful that you have such sharp instincts." He sounded rather genuine and Kellen glanced at Rhys. Rhys was staring at the Elder, unblinking.

"Yes. I’m sure we all are grateful for his sharp instincts." Rhys repeated. Elder Ellis turned his gaze to Rhys and Kellen wasn’t sure what passed between them but after a long moment the Elder sighed, nodded and turned.

"I’m almost done locking everything up. Why don’t you two wait with me until then and we’ll leave together?" He suggested and they did just that. Kellen got to see how they set it up so that no one else would find and vandalize it and honestly, it was a rather simple setup.

It was just a few signs with the logos of the more powerful Guilds associated with the S Classes worldwide. Some S Classes didn’t want super powerful Guilds, while others did. The Saturn Guild’s logo was there, along with the Nemesis Guild. Kellen did feel a little smug about that.

Under the logos was a simple phrase: mess with our tower, we’ll hunt you down. Simple and efficient. With the Espers that they had, it was very doable.

Kellen was feeling a lot better by the time they left the tower and reemerged with Elder Ellis to the waiting crowd. When he met Sergei’s eyes, he nodded, and Sergei relaxed. It was nice knowing that he had their back.