(BL) Taming the Field Guide

"I don’t want to tell you." Brent whispered and heard Sergei exhale slowly. A gentle hand grabbed his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"Is it because you’re worried I’ll react poorly?" Brent swallowed. It wasn’t exactly that, but he couldn’t say that wasn’t a concern.

"I don’t know. It’s...a little too broad of a fear." Brent murmured, embarrassed, annoyed, and vulnerable. He felt so damn vulnerable. He felt like everyone was trying to listen in on their conversation. He half imagined that others had their damn ears pressed against the door to listen in on them.

Sergei stepped closer, wrapping his arms slowly around Brent’s body. He gave him plenty of time to resist him, push him away and that damn simple thing made Brent’s eyes water in frustration. This was why Sergei was better than everyone else. This was why Sergei was in Brent’s bed, in Brent’s home, in Brent’s heart. He let out a shaky breath.

"The other S Classes are still sexually harassing me." Brent whispered. Sergei’s arms clenched around Brent quickly, so quickly and briefly that Brent would have thought he had imagined it if he didn’t know the man well enough.

"Are they? Why didn’t you say anything until now, Zaichonok? I would have done something to stop them." Sergei sounded upset and Brent exhaled slowly. He knew that he was going to be angry. This was exactly why- "I hate that you had to experience that at their hands. They are supposed to be on their best behaviour, and if they are treating you, someone who is precious to not just me, but everyone this way, who is to say that we can trust them? I’m sorry Brent. You shouldn’t have to deal with that." Brent’s throat closed up. "And I’m sorry you didn’t feel comfortable enough to come to me about it." Brent jerked.

"No! You aren’t at fault here!" Brent protested, meeting Sergei’s glowing silver gaze. He was getting emotional, like Brent. Sergei’s expression was soft, but his eyes were hard.

"I am if you didn’t feel comfortable telling me this. You were being harassed and while I knew that something was wrong, you didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me, your partner, what was going on. That’s on me." Brent shook his head desperately at the calm, measured way that Sergei was speaking.

"No! It’s not like that!" Brent insisted but Sergei wasn’t having it.

"No. It is like that. It is that simple. I must have done something to make you think that I am untrustworthy. This isn’t the first time. I’m sorry Brent that I am so lacking as a partner." Brent felt a strange, painful feeling well up inside of him. Jittery, annoyed, like nails down a chalkboard. He didn’t like hearing Sergei talk like that. He didn’t like hearing him speak of himself like this. Sergei had truly done nothing wrong. It was all Brent.

"You aren’t!" Brent shouted, wincing at the volume. "You are perfect! I’M the problem!" Brent shouted and watched as Sergei’s face hardened. Brent sucked in as the air in the room shifted.

"You? There is no way that you are the problem, Zaichonok, and whoever convinced you that was the case is a piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe." Sergei’s breathing was flat, calm, and that scared Brent more. The skin on the back of his neck was standing on end, telling Brent that things were not okay.

Brent felt a little helpless. What could he do to convince him that everything was fine? That he didn’t need to get angry like this? That this was Brent’s fault?

"I-I’m the one who didn’t tell you anything? Why aren’t you blaming me?" Brent asked, desperate and Sergei held Brent in his arms, staring down at the man who looked like he’d never come across a situation like this in his life before. Sergei almost smiled.

"Why would I blame you? You’ve done nothing wrong in this situation? You didn’t trust me with the truth? The weight of what you were dealing with all on your own. I’m a bad partner." Sergei said and Brent let out a small, helpless, frustrated sound.

"No! I’m the bad partner! I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to burden you!" Brent realised what had happened as soon as the words left his lips.

Sergei had tricked him. He didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but he knew that was the truth. It was from the slightly smug way that Sergei looked now that the words had left Brent’s lips.

"Ah. My sweet, lovely Zaichonok didn’t want to burden me? You forget, your burdens are my blessings. It is a privilege for you to trust me with these things. I want to carry them. I want to be a place where you can place your issues on me so that I can help you with them." His words were so sweet, so syrupy that Brent felt like he was getting a toothache.

"W-What about you? Who would carry your burdens?" Brent was trying to catch him, trying to reverse this on him when Sergei slipped his hand behind him, grabbing Brent’s in his own and raising Brent’s knuckles to his lips. He placed kisses there, making Brent’s face warm.

"Are you willing to hold my burdens? Are you going to leave me to struggle on my own?" Sergei asked and it was something horrifying to consider. Even as he was feeling flustered at Sergei’s display of affection.

"I would never." Brent whispered, aghast, and Sergei pressed another kiss against his knuckles. His silver eyes didn’t fade, but they did warm. So did the air in the room.

"Then you understand how I feel. I would never consider your burdens a problem, and you would get upset if I didn’t tell you my concerns and issues, right? So why do you think that you are any different?" Brent had no answer to his question.

Sergei let him sit in that awkward silence, the feeling filling him as Brent grappled with what Sergei was telling him, teaching him.

"Zaichonok, are they still bothering you?" Sergei asked softly and Brent closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at Sergei as emotions swelled inside of him. His frustration, his anger, and his embarrassment. He was so damn embarrassed that this had come to a head no only before the fucking meeting, but in the bathroom at a party that was supposed to be a good time. He was doing this. Fuck. Relationships were hard.

"It’s not just me." Brent said, still trying to downplay it. "They are also doing it to the other Guides." Brent mumbled.

"Ah. But not Kellen?" Brent winced as Sergei didn’t mince his words, didn’t hide the truth. He knew what was going on, and why wouldn’t he? He was an S Class himself, and it wasn’t like this was his first meeting with them. At least, Brent was pretty sure. He hadn’t asked, but given that Sergei was older than Rhys...one could assume some things.

"No. Not Kellen." Brent confirmed and flinched when Sergei sighed.

"Those damn monsters." It was surprising to hear Sergei call the others that. He didn’t anticipate it, but he also wasn’t surprised. S Classes were a little monstrous. Brent would never call Sergei that though. He was nice to him, and kind to many, many other people. Just not the bad ones.

That wasn’t monstrous, that was intentional.

"I-It’s-"

"Brent, I love you, but if you say that it’s fine I am going to get very angry." Brent froze. Then, his whole face went red. He what now?

Brent’s heart thudded in his chest so hard and fast that he felt like he was having a heart attack. Sergei what? What did he just say? He was still holding onto Brent’s hand , his knuckles brushing Sergei’s lips and piercings and Brent felt like he was going to lose his damn mind.

Sergei froze as he realised Brent was behaving a bit strangely given how serious their conversation was.

"Are you alright? Your heart is racing. Did I-" Brent glanced up when Sergei cut off his own words. What he saw made him stare at him. Sergei’s face was warm, his mouth slightly ajar. When he realised that Brent was looking at him, he swallowed thickly, closing his mouth. "Have I not told you that yet?" Sergei asked, and he sounded a little strangled. Brent’s face warmed more.

"N-No. Um, at least not in a language that we both understand." Brent mumbled and Sergei swore in his language. Or something similar. Brent gave a soft, flustered laugh.

"My deepest apologies." Sergei said before he sucked in. He met Brent’s gaze seriously. "I love you, Brent Jameson. I do. Deeply, dangerously, so much that I worry who I would be if I had never met you. It might feel sudden and confusing, but I promise that I want to go at your pace. Our relationship will develop at your complete discretion. If the depth of my emotions bother you, please tell me and I’ll keep them to myself." Sergei told him and Brent felt like he’d been given a favourite toy only to have it yanked away. Brent’s emotions, already all over the place, kicked into high gear.

Brent, his hand still in Sergei’s, turned his hand so that he could yank the man closer by his collar.

"If you take that away from me I won’t forgive you." Brent warned, his eyes flashing blue for the briefest of moments before slipping back to green. Sergei gulped.

"You like it?" He asked and Brent nodded.

"Your feelings for me are mine." Brent told him, showing his possessiveness over the other man and watched as Sergei’s face warmed.

"Oh. Uh, understood, Brent. I will...be more honest." Sergei coughed. "I was being more subtle because I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Am I allowed to be more forward and outward to the public?" He asked and Brent felt the anger fade as quickly as it had come. This man was just...

"Of course you can." Brent told him. He felt like he was on a damn emotional roller coaster, but he had no one else to blame but himself. He was the one who had made it this rocky. Brent barely had time to consider that thought. Sergei was being sweet, pulling his hand up to his lips again, pressing tender, sweet kisses against his knuckles.

"Good. I was worried." Sergei told him and Brent melted. Damn it, he was a sucker for this man and his sweetness. "Now I know I don’t have to hold back." Sergei murmured and Brent missed the glimmer in his eye before he found himself hoisted up. He let out a yelp, wondering what the hell was picking him up until he remembered what kind of Esper Sergei was.

Telekinesis. He didn’t need to use his hands to pick Brent up.

"S-Sergei, what are you doing?" Brent asked as Sergei grinned up at him. He could feel them moving, he just had no idea what was going on or where they were going.

"I am killing two birds with one stone. I am showing you my love and affection for you, clearing up all misunderstandings, and making sure you are satisfied all at once." Sergei told him as Brent’s back hit something cool and tiled. Brent’s face began to burn.

"Sergei, what are you planning?" Brent asked, having a sneaking suspicion he already knew as his back slid up further and Sergei casually began to put Brent’s legs over his shoulders.

"Mm, nothing that should embarrass you, my love. Just something to take the edge off." He said with a wink before Sergei did something that had Brent harder than a damn rock. He flicked out his tongue, showing off his piercing while pointing at his two bottom lip piercings. "What do you think these three are for, Zaichonok?" Sergei asked and Brent felt his throat close up.

He had nothing to say. Not a single thing to respond back with that wouldn’t be a damn whimper, and from the glimmer in Sergei’s eyes, he knew that.