Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan

Ren stood frozen in the sunlit clearing, the gentle rustle of the green leaves above doing nothing to quiet the sudden, deafening roar of static in her brain.

’Human?’

She stared at the tall, orange-haired beastman standing a few paces away. She looked at his pointed, twitching orange ears. Her gaze drifted down to the three fluffy red tails swishing lazily behind him. She looked back up at his slit, predatory eyes and the sharp, elongated canines that peeked out from behind his smirk.

"You are full of crap," Ren blurted out.

Vex didn’t try to defend himself. He offered a careless shrug, spinning on his heel.

"Believe what you wish, Little Rose," Vex tossed over his shoulder, already walking away. He began to hum a cheerful, upbeat melody that sounded suspiciously like a 90s pop song. "My truth is not contingent on your acceptance of it."

Ren scrambled to follow him, her bare feet crunching over dry twigs. Her mind was a chaotic mess of denial and wildly spinning gears.

There was simply no way. It was a lie. A trick. How could he possibly be human? If he was a human from her world, why on earth did he look like a walking, talking woodland creature? When Ren had fallen into the ravine while filming Gourmet in the Wild and woken up in this prehistoric nightmare, she had kept her original body. She hadn’t magically sprouted whiskers or a tail.

But then again... how else could he possibly know about that specific movie?

A beastman couldn’t just casually pull the names Scar and Mufasa out of thin air. It was way too specific. Did he get hit by a truck? Did he choke on a piece of mochi and wake up as a fox? Ren was in deep denial, her brain desperately trying to reject the information because it opened up a terrifying box of questions she wasn’t sure if she was ready to know the answer to.

She marched through the forest, so lost in her own spiraling thoughts that she nearly walked face-first into a tree.

"If you’re human," Ren demanded, dodging a low-hanging vine and glaring at Vex’s retreating back, "why are you a fox? Did you ask for the furry upgrade, or was it a glitch in the transmigration system?"

Vex merely chuckled, swatting a fern out of his path. "Such a vibrant imagination you have."

Ren gritted her teeth. She was about to press him further, to demand he tell her what year it was when he died, but a sudden distraction derailed her completely.

Altair was walking right beside her.

The Golden Eagle Prince moved with the silent, majestic grace of an apex predator. His massive golden-brown wings were folded neatly against his broad back, and his posture was flawlessly regal. He looked like a masterpiece carved from tan marble.

The problem was...

Every time Ren turned her head to yell at Vex, her peripheral vision betrayed her. She kept accidentally catching sight of the eagle’s... pendulum. It was swinging back and forth with a rhythmic momentum as he strode through the underbrush. She tried to look at the trees. She tried to look at the sky. She forced her gaze straight ahead, but she ended up tripping over a mossy root because she was refusing to look downward.

Her face was burning so hot she felt like she had been shoved inside a preheated oven.

"Altair!" Ren finally snapped, her voice pitching into a hysterical squeak as she threw her hands over her flushed face. "For the love of everything decent, please put something on! I am begging you!"

Altair stopped walking. He turned his head, his silver eyes locking onto her bright red face. He tilted his head slightly to the side, his expression an unreadable mask of stoic indifference. He looked down at himself, then back at her, then he looked around.

The eagle beastman turned toward a nearby thicket.

He plucked a large, fan-shaped fern leaf from the bush. It was the size of a serving platter. He stepped back to Ren’s side and casually held the giant leaf directly in front of his crotch.

He looked at her, his face deadpan, silently asking if this was acceptable.

Ren let out a muffled groan into her hands. "Yes. Fine. That is... marginally better. Just keep holding it."

Up ahead, Vex stopped walking and burst into a fit of mocking laughter.

"Oh, Little Rose, you are far too prudish," Vex teased. "You really should learn to embrace nature. We are in the wild, after all. All animals are inherently naked anyway. It is our natural, beautiful state."

Ren dropped her hands, shooting him a glare that could have melted solid iron.

"We are not animals, Vex," Ren spat, her voice laced with venomous irritation. "I am a human woman, and you just confessed to knowing the plot of a Disney movie. Neither of us are animals. You are a human man."

Vex scratched his fluffy orange ear. He glanced back at the three tails swishing behind his knees. He looked back at Ren.

"Is that so?" Vex hummed. "Did the humans in your time have furry ears and tails? You must have been bullied in school for being the odd one out."

"I am going to strangle you with your own tails," Ren promised, her hands curling into tight fists.

"Kinky," Vex winked. "I like it."

Ren was getting so tired of his constant, slippery dodging. Every time she managed to corner him, he threw up a smoke screen of sarcasm, flirts and riddles.

"Stop changing the subject!" Ren demanded, stomping her foot. "I want actual answers. If you are from my world, what happened to you? How did you get here? Why are you a damn fox?"

"Must you learn the hard way, my dear?" Vex asked, his voice dropping to a low, chilling whisper that made the fine hairs on Ren’s arms stand up. "In this world, there are eyes and ears everywhere, always listening to things they shouldn’t?"

Ren’s brows knit together in confusion. She looked around the quiet, sun-dappled forest. She didn’t see anyone. She didn’t hear anything besides the birds and insects.

"What are you talking about?" Ren asked.

"This is the spot," Vex announced loudly, his voice echoing unnaturally in the sudden quiet.

Ren stopped a few feet away, her unease spiraling into genuine panic. "Spot? Spot for what?"

Before Ren could even blink, before Altair could drop his leaf and lunge forward to protect her, Vex moved. He closed the distance in a blur.

His hand clamped around Ren’s wrist, yanking her forward with bruising force. She stumbled, crying out in shock as she was pulled violently against his chest. In one fluid motion, Vex spun her around, pulling her back flush against his body.

His left arm wrapped around her waist, pinning her in place. His right hand shot up, his sharp, elongated claws extending fully. He pressed the razor-sharp tips directly against the fragile skin of her throat.

"Vex!" Ren shrieked, her heart hammering wildly against her ribs.

"Hold perfectly still, my dear," Vex murmured into her ear, his tone conversational, as if he weren’t currently holding her hostage for the second time in twenty-four hours.

Altair dropped the leaf, his silver eyes flashing with murderous intent.

But a sudden, loud rustling erupted from the dense bushes surrounding the clearing.

Crunch. Snap.

Ren gasped, her eyes going wide as the shadows of the forest came alive.

A dozen muscled beastmen stepped out from the treeline. They wore ragged, bloody furs and had faces twisted with cruel grins. Some had the spotted ears of leopards, others the thick snouts of wild boars.

They stepped into the sunlight and instantly formed a tight circle around Altair. They raised crude, jagged wooden spears, pointing the sharpened tips directly at the naked eagle prince.

Vex stood securely behind the wall of beastman, his claw still resting lightly against Ren’s pulse, a dark, victorious smirk curling his lips.