The Overlord of Puluo

"Can't you see I'm busy?" Li Banfeng said irritably as he tidied the newspapers.

"To save my darling Li, I left my home ah~ Yet darling Li rose high, crowned top scholar in the imperial hall ah~

"Hey ya~ my good husband, beneath the candle's glow, are you studying still for that grand exam~?"

She can even sing Huangmei opera[1], Li Banfeng thought. "I am not studying for the imperial exam. I am checking how many enemies I have."

The more he read, the more the rigid and tense his expression grew.

The gramophone hissed and released a puff of steam. Then, keeping a steady rhythm, it began to sing.

"Fear not the many foes that come our way~

"If one appears, my husband shall strike one down~

"If two appear, he shall strike a pair~

"But don't be too cruel, spare a breath~ We'll bring a dish home for our meal today~"

Li Banfeng sat beside the gramophone, caressing the side of its wooden cabinet with a rueful smile. "Wifey, exactly. That's my plan. But all my enemies are stronger than me. If I can't kill them, who's going to bring you any ingredients? No enemies, no dinner."

Pop... crackle... pop...

The gramophone let out a few hissing laughs.

Li Banfeng frowned. "What are you laughing at?"

"My husband, your hand is on my armpit."

Li Banfeng flinched and jerked his hand back

That's where its armpit is? Then what about the other parts? Li Banfeng wondered as he brushed his hands over the gramophone's wooden casing, causing the gramophone to giggle nonstop.

Clang clang clang~

"Husband dear~ No more fooling around! Listen to this little wife of yours. Since you're a Homebound Cultivator, don't be venturing outside. Stay at home, keep me company~ And your cultivation shall naturally rise~"

She doesn't know I'm a Wanderlust Cultivator? Ah. Dark Matter can't be observed, so no one can tell what kind of cultivation someone practices. The gramophone probably really doesn't know that I am a Wanderlust Cultivator

Li Banfeng took out a purple pill and asked, "Wifey, I want to raise my cultivation faster. If I take this pill, it should help, right?"

"How could such a thing, such a thing, such a thing be said~~" the gramophone sang, though her voice stuttered and repeated, as if caught in a glitch.

"Wifey, what's wrong? Why are you stammering?" Li Banfeng asked in concern.

"My… my husband, oil your little wife a bit."

Li Banfeng hurried to fetch the oil bottle and opened the back compartment of the gramophone.

Inside, rows of connecting rods and interlocking gears filled the cramped space, forming a complex mechanical system. Not knowing where to start, Li Banfeng just oiled whatever he could reach.

"Husband dear~ That gear is vital, don't be stingy, oil it well~

"Husband dear~ That drain valve is key, don't be hasty, don't be rash~

"Husband dear~ Gentle, gentle with that bearing~

"My husband~ ah… my husbaaaand~~"

A few minutes later, Li Banfeng sat by the bed with the oil can in hand. His expression was calm as he said, "Wifey, can you say something a bit more proper? I'm listening seriously here."

"Proper? Why should we be so serious?"

Clang, clang~

The gramophone fell silent for a few seconds before asking, "Husband, what about your pants here?"

Li Banfeng's voice dropped low. "Naturally… you're going to wash them for me."

The gramophone seemed rather displeased as she let out a puff of steam. However, she didn't mention Li Banfeng's pants again.

Clang, clang, clang~

"Hey yaaaaaa~ Husband dear, this pill is called the Purple Radiance Pill~

"To the ordinary folk, it's worth a thousand gold~

"But to you, my husband, it's worth not a thing~"

"Why do you say that?"

"For ordinary people, taking this pill would be equal to gaining a month's worth of cultivation."

A month's cultivation? Li Banfeng's heart skipped a beat.

A single Mystic Blazing Pill can give me ten days of cultivation and be sold for a hundred and fifty thousand. So if this Purple Radiance Pill gives me a month… How much is that even worth?

The money didn't matter. What really mattered was the cultivation. If he took a few more of these, his level would shoot up in no time.

But the gramophone sang, "Hey, husband dear~ You are a Homebound Cultivator~ Your cultivation must rise through our harmony together~ Together we rise, together we shine~ Taking pills won't help, not even one~"

So Homebound Cultivators can't take pills, huh?

Ma Wu did say that Homebound Cultivation is unique… their cultivation depends entirely on their dwelling spirit.

"Since I can't take it, then you should have it, wifey." With that, Li Banfeng moved to drop the pill into the gramophone's water tank.

Whoosh~ A cloud of steam rose up, blocking his way.

The gramophone let out two soft laughs.

"Husband dear~ Truly devoted you are~

"Your tender love moves your little wife's heart afar~