Chapter 212: Identity
Chapter 212: Identity
“Huff… huff… did we do-”
Destiny was about to finish his sentence when a small hand forcefully covered his mouth. He instinctively leapt back, only to see Prota looking up at him with a displeased expression, even through her poker face.
“...um. Looks like we-”
Prota shook her head at him before turning around to look at the crab. It had been cleanly cut in half, blue blood gushing out onto the dirt floor.
“Good job,” she said quietly.
“Um. Thanks?”
“Nn. Last time was really hard. So this time, Destiny did a good job. Really.”
To emphasize her statement, she gave him two thumbs up in approval, nodding a few times before turning back to the crab. Walking up, she felt its carapace, making sure it was just as hard as it’d been before.
As she felt its crystal back, she couldn’t help but think back to her skills at the time of her previous life. Back when “Soul Steal” had been “Soul Siphon” and “Soul Copy,” when levels and creation had been a thing. She knew better, now: her powers were rooted in the basis of imagination. But still, using the mana of others as a basis had been a pretty good guide, hadn’t it?
“Was that it?” she heard Destiny call out. “Did you just bring me here to kill the crystal crab?”
“No,” Prota said. “Looking…”
The cave was truly enormous. Looking back, she was surprised they’d found the entrance to the lab at all, but this time, she already knew where it was.
“Over there.”
She half expected Danjo to burst out again, but as she got closer, she soon realized how silly that assumption was. She wasn’t supposed to be here yet. At the very least, she wasn’t meant to arrive in this dungeon until a month later.
If Danjo had truly created a key, it wouldn’t be ready yet. He’d still be—
“Is someone there?!”
Out of the lab burst a familiar dwarf, albeit frail, malnourished and dirty. Prota could only stare.
“...how?” she muttered, unheard by anyone else.
This didn’t make any sense. Logically, it didn’t…
“It’s because this is a [Story],” Anta said quietly.
They watched as Destiny rushed forward, expressing concern for the pitiful dwarf, just like he had in their past life.
“You triggered this. See, the intentions of an [Author] surpass logic and reality. Danjo is an important [Character]. This entire cave, as well as the mansion with the haunted armour, were things Destiny would’ve done anyway. So why would the [Story] change just because something doesn’t make sense? If it doesn’t directly contradict itself… it can happen. Actually, scratch that. Anything can happen. All that matters is whether or not the [Author] is willing.”
Prota felt a shiver run down her spine as Destiny began to head toward the lab, beckoning Prota to follow.
“Remember, Prota. The [Story] does not take place within reality. Reality bends to the [Story’s] will.”
“...really? Then… are we really just [Characters]-”
“Who cares? All we need to understand is that the world operates on a set of rules we’re not used to. But you’re good at doing that, right? You accepted it pretty easily in your past life, when you didn’t have me.” Anta’s tone took on a warmer feeling. “Fake? Real? Who cares about that? All we need to know is how to use it to our advantage. That’s what’s going to make the difference between us and John. Knowing what matters, and what doesn’t. Got it?”
“...nn.”
Meanwhile, the conversation between Danjo and Destiny had finished. They were heading into the lab now, and Prota was quick to follow.
“Prota,” Destiny said quietly, falling back.
“De- Fate.”
“Is… is he an enemy?”
“No. No more traps. For now,” Prota said quietly. “At least, I think.”
“Ok. I’ll trust you on that.”
Destiny moved back up, leaving Prota deep in thought. She caught snippets of their conversation, but it went on much the same as before. Danjo discussed his method of escape and talked about his interest in artificing, to which Destiny responded positively.
As they entered the lab, the familiar scent of rotting flesh was released. However, this time, Prota paid it no mind, walking past Destiny, who had stiffened upon seeing the horrors of this disgusting place.
“Prota, you- ah, right.”
“Nn. Keep moving.”
She took the lead this time. Behind her, she could hear a few words being exchanged between the dwarf and the hero.
“Um… I don’t mean to be rude, but doesn’t she look a little young…?”
“Don’t worry about her. She’s strong.”
“Strong… ah. Um… I’ll take your word, then.”
Prota sighed. Well, that much was to be expected. She should get used to being underestimated…
Or maybe she could use it to her advantage.
That was a thought for later, though. For now, she was moving toward the section of the lab that remained vividly in her memory, even without Anta’s aid.
“Des- Fate,” she called out. “Come.”
“Um… do you need me?” Danjo called out timidly.
“No. Better if you stay here. Best if you don’t look. Desti- Fate.”
“...alright.”
Together, they headed off into what Prota could only call the feeding room. Even though she was prepared, she still felt nauseous upon seeing it. A grinder for people to be turned into meat, for other prisoners to consume.
“Guh- Prota. I- this is-”
“This is our enemy,” Prota said calmly. “...remember.”
“Y-yes,” Destiny said.
Without another word, Prota lit the room on fire, closing her eyes. She couldn’t grant peace to the dead, not in a way that mattered.
But she could do her best to take revenge for them.
The next room they moved to was the one containing the test subjects. To be honest, Prota had forgotten about this one, but Anta was insistent on visiting it. She was also incredibly insistent that Destiny be here for this, more than the room they’d been in before.
“...Prota,” Destiny said quietly as they entered. “Why are you showing me all this?”
“...what do you think?”
“Is it to get me upset? To get me on your side? I already agreed to that. I-”
He froze upon seeing Prota’s hair turn red, a sign that Anta had come to interfere.
“Look, hero boy,” Anta sighed. “I’m only doing this because Prota isn’t capable of being harsh. Look. We weren’t supposed to be here, alright? Kit already explained this to you, but there are things that affect how this world moves. There are things you need to do, places you need to experience. If we just present the enemy right in front of you, are you confident you’ll win?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Then trust the process. Prota doesn’t understand it, but she knows what’s going to happen if we fail, and so she’s trusting it anyway. I don’t fully understand it myself, but I know what happens if we don’t trust it, so I’m pushing it onto Prota. Like it or hate it, you are the hero, elf boy. There are responsibilities you need to bear. If it’s too heavy for you, then don’t say stupid things.”
“Stupid-”
“You think you can take on Prota’s burden? Don’t make me laugh,” Anta scoffed.
She walked up to Destiny, poking him in the chest, staring fiercely into his eyes.
“You’re scared. You say you want to protect others, but you’re scared you won’t live up to their expectations, right?”
“I- you-” Destiny stammered, but he didn’t deny it, either.
“Someone once told us… growth requires tragedy. It requires pain. Sacrifice. I hate to admit it, but he’s not entirely wrong,” Anta pouted. “You’ve experienced it, right? In that past life of yours.”
“I… I have.”
“Then you should get what this is all about. We’re doing it somewhat forcibly, but that’s only because the other me wants what she wants. She’s done growing, for the most part. She just needs to recover her strength. You, on the other hand… still have things you need to do. Do you understand?”
“Y-yes.”
“Great. Then… deal with this.”
“With this?”
Anta swept her arm across the room, looking at the people trapped in their cages.
“This.”
“You’re not saying-”
“Let me give you some context,” Anta sighed.
She wandered over to an empty cage, hopping on top, seating herself while swinging her legs back and forth.
“These are experiments. Have you ever heard of the thousand poison jar? They put countless poisonous beings into a jar, and the one that survived would have the most potent poison. Then… this is the same. The man behind all this needs strong people. Strong parts. Why do you think they felt the need to grind up bodies to use as meat?”
Destiny nearly threw up upon hearing that. It seemed the memory was still somewhat fresh in his mind.
“These people are broken. Hero. I’ll respect whatever choice you make. But understand that saving them isn’t possible. You cannot bring their minds back. And even if you did… death would be a mercy. Then, I’ll leave you to it. If you can’t take a decisive action, then let Prota know.”
With that, Anta hopped off the cage and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. As she left, Prota took over the body once more, glancing back worriedly.
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“Anta. Did you need to do that?”
Instead of answering the question, Anta replied with another question.
“Do you remember when John told you to kill that mercenary? Do you know what his intent was?”
“...huh?”
“He told you to kill a mercenary that had been rendered helpless. The goal, at the time, hadn’t been to kill him. It had been to test your resolve. At the time, you’d been too scared to make choices on your own. All you could do was follow John. The point of that test was simply to see if you could make your own decision.”
“Then Destiny…”
“That’s right. John’s not present to challenge Destiny’s goals and ideals. Then, since that’s true, how was Destiny supposed to grow here? He would’ve had to make this decision on his own anyway. I’m not looking to force him into killing those people. If he doesn’t want to, we can do it instead. No, the point here is to make sure he’s ready for what comes next.”
Prota looked at the door with a pitiful expression.
“What happens… if he’s not ready?”
“He’ll be ready.”
Anta said that, but her tone was bitter.
“Because he’s a [Character]. Unless the [Author] plans to discard a [Protagonist] so easily… Destiny will make it through.”
Prota nodded, but something continued to confuse her.
“Then… me. Why…”
“Why did you need trials? Because you weren’t supposed to exist. I hate to put it like this, but you’re not needed. I don’t know how it works myself, but if something within the [Author’s] mind changed on a whim, you’d be gone. So you’d better keep up, alright?”
“Nn. Then, one more thing.”
“Hm?”
“If Destiny grows anyway… why… this?”
“Ah.”
For a moment, there was silence in Prota’s mind.
“Well… I could just say butterfly effect and be done with it. But maybe it’s about time you understood this properly.”
Prota nodded and found herself a place to sit. It seemed this would be something she’d have to think over a few times before she got it, anyway.
“Think of this [Story] like a path. The [Author] is the person who made that path, and you’re following it because it’s easier to take. After all, around you is a thick forest. Following so far?”
“Nn.”
“Great. Now, since you can, you randomly decide to step off that path. Technically, it’s not impossible to do. However, the [Author] didn’t plan for this, and is now hurriedly coming back to clear a new path for you on a moment’s notice.”
“Ok.”
“But it’s a rushed job. They weren’t ready. So the path isn’t smooth, there are still branches in the way, and its direction is just a rough guess to try and get you back on the original path, since the [Author] doesn’t want to make an entirely new one. Do you understand?”
Prota nodded. It made enough sense, only because of the countless other lessons she’d received from John.
“Good. Then… I’ll leave everything else up to you.”
“Huh?”
Prota nearly jumped upon hearing Anta’s final statement.
“Oh, don’t get all frazzled. I’m not leaving you,” Anta laughed. “But you’re not the little kid you once were. You understand things now. Look, just because I’m a soul doesn’t mean I’m the same as Zero. We have our differences, you know.”
“Then… what did Anta mean?”
“I mean it’s time for me to stop correcting you. There’s no point in telling you to become a second John. In the first place, that would defeat everything we’ve worked so hard for. So from here on out, make your own choices. Choose your own path. I mean, you’ve already started to do that, haven’t you?”
“...what?”
“Rescuing Danjo early. Forcing yourself into the Cave of Trials. Subduing Draco. Those are all actions you weren’t meant to take. But you took them anyway. Don’t worry. I’ll still be here. I’m your soul. Your sister. But I shouldn’t tell you what to do anymore.”
A feeling of peace settled within Prota’s heart. Her core wasn’t quite whole, but once again, it was as if a new piece of the puzzle had been connected.
The first piece had been understanding who she herself was. What she wanted. What she would do. To identify herself as “Prota,” nothing more, nothing less, was what had started all of this.
The second piece was understanding that companions were needed. To bear a burden this heavy all on her own was impossible. It was, in a sense, what had broken John. Not entirely. In fact, it would be more apt to say that relying on others was what had broken him, since they’d been ripped away from him so unceremoniously, but that was besides the point.
The third piece had arrived just now. Understanding that there was no such thing as a wrong decision. That her choices were meant to be her own. For so long, she’d relied on the approval of others, doing things only once someone confirmed it was the right move to make.
But if she continued to do that, she could no longer claim to know who she was, because part of her would always be buried in the opinions of others.
Three pieces of the puzzle. An unknown number were remaining.
Perhaps she’d complete that puzzle someday.
“I’m done.”
She looked up to see Destiny staggering out of the room, his hands stained with blood. There was an incredibly tired look to his eyes, but at the same time, they were brimming with resolve.
This was the mind of a [Protagonist]. For him to get it on the first try was incredible.
Prota shook her head. This wasn’t the time to be jealous. If anything, this was the time to comfort. For Destiny to have done such a thing so abruptly also meant that he would have no time to rest or recover. In hindsight, perhaps she’d pushed things too far…
Or maybe not.
“Good job,” she said quietly, reaching up to pat him on the head. “It was hard.”
Five words. Those simple five words diffused the tense atmosphere in an instant.
A simple acknowledgment of one’s struggles in the attempts to strive for improvement were enough.
“R-right,” Destiny stammered. “I…”
“Those people… lots of pain. You helped them. So. Good job.”
“I see.”
Destiny’s tone seemed hollow. Prota couldn’t fully tell with the muffling of his mask, but at the same time, he didn’t seem to be depressed, either.
“Save them,” Prota said quietly. “I can’t. Not good enough.”
“Not good- what? But-”
“I’m not… good person,” Prota said quietly.
She was struggling to express herself properly in this moment. What she was trying to convey was not the same as what John always said.
John spoke those words in the sense that he actively did bad things if he so wished. He was unconstrained by rules and customs, ignoring the wishes and desires of others, not because he had grand aspirations himself, but because he failed to see others as anything of importance.
“Haah… calling me out again for something like this,” Anta sighed as she took Prota’s place. “Look. What she’s trying to say is that she’s not a good leader. She’s not someone who’s trying to be a beacon of hope. In fact, our goal isn’t noble at all.”
“But you’re trying to save the world-”
“Not for the people in it. Not really. It’s a side effect of saving the one we’re trying to talk to,” Anta explained. “For us… becoming a saviour isn’t our thing. I mean, you can see it, right? Our goal isn’t to turn this world into a paradise. Ultimately… we are selfish beings. That’s what Prota means by saying she’s not a good person.”
Anta’s point was relatively simple. Prota was soft spoken and failed to properly express her emotions, and she disliked the company of others. Anta was brash and rude, uncaring for the opinion of those around her. And in the end, their goal was John, not necessarily the world.
Such a being could, in theory, lead. But to lead those in despair back into hope…
It would be far better if someone else took that role.
“Right. I’m the hero, huh?” Destiny said, letting out a short laugh. “Fine. I guess we’ll be splitting our work up from here on out. You want me to be your poster boy?”
“No.” Anta reached out, grabbing Destiny by the shirt. “Don’t play coy with me. You just went through something traumatic. You’re trying to cover up with humour, aren’t you?”
“Wha-”
“Did we not tell you? Prota is pretty good at reading people. Then it follows that I, her soul, would be the same, no? The guy we used to be with was quite a bitch when it came to hiding his emotions. It took Prota a while to understand him properly. So your pathetic mask isn’t fooling anyone else here.”
“...so what?!” Destiny suddenly yelled. “So what if it hurt? How would anyone be fine after seeing such a thing?! And you’re telling me to just lead people into the light?”
“Yes!” Anta roared back. “Because you are the hero! Even in your past life, you managed to lead! You managed to help others! You know what your old companions probably thought?! ‘At least it ended in this way. At least there was something to live for.’ You gave them hope! You gave them a death that mattered, something infinitely greater than living a life like a collared beast!”
“But- I-”
“You didn’t kill them! If not for you, they would’ve died far earlier than they had. So stop blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong, and lead!”
“How do you know any of this? How do you know they wouldn’t have- wouldn’t-”
It was too much. Destiny broke down, tears streaming down his mask.
“I should’ve… even in this world, there’s so many people who…”
“Then make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Anta growled, letting go of the hero’s shirt. “Resolve yourself. Get up.”
“But-”
“Do you know? In our last life, you were stronger than Prota. At both your peaks, you were the stronger individual. You never lost. You struggled, maybe. But you never fully needed someone else to step in. Prota lost. But she got back up. And that’s what makes her alive.”
Anta stepped away, intending to go back to the main area of the lab, but then paused one last time.
“I don’t know that I should be the one telling you this. But it seems most of what I’ve said is what Prota wanted to say, anyway. But it seems this last one is from her specifically.”
Anta turned around one more time, but instead of a fierce glare, there was a kind look in her eyes. A kind look that suited Prota far better.
But then again, they were the same being. So to say one thing belonged to one, and another thing belonged to another, wasn’t correct to begin with.
“It would be nice if we didn’t have to suffer to grow. But growth is what makes us alive. Victory isn’t winning a fight. It’s what you define it to be.”
“If your version of victory means you don’t sacrifice anything, then don’t sacrifice anything. If your victory is the utter defeat of the opponent, no matter what, then sacrifice everything. You need to decide what ‘victory’ is to you.”
“Just because things happen doesn’t mean you failed. It just means you aren’t perfect. But no one is perfect. So in the end, that’s fine.”
With that, Prota took over the body once more and left without another word. Destiny could only watch as she passed through a doorway, growing out of sight.
“...yes, Kit,” he eventually sighed. “I know. I just got schooled by a child.”
He sat down, hard, throwing his head back and letting out a deep laugh.
“But she was right. The way she looks… I’ve got to stop underestimating her.”
Using his sword as a cane, he pushed himself back up, dusting his clothes off. He turned back to the room with the test subjects, momentarily bowing his head in silence, then closed the door. Without sparing it a second glance, he turned to follow Prota.
“May you rest in peace.”