Chapter 107: Yee Yee Ass Hair Cut
[Superior Piper Parker’s POV]
My new suit feels like a second skin as I swing through the afternoon sky, the four mechanical arms I've added giving me unprecedented control. The sleek red appendages extend from my back, gripping buildings and propelling me forward with a precision that feels beautiful.
The wind whips past my mask as I arc between skyscrapers, my trajectory carrying me toward the Sanctum Sanctorum. A commotion has caught my enhanced hearing, raised voices penetrating even the mystical barriers of Strange's domain.
Rather than announcing my presence properly, I simply walk in. The massive wooden doors yield to my touch without resistance, as if the Sanctum itself recognizes my authority. The argument crescendos as I move through the foyer.
"You all can't kick me out of the Avengers," Toni Stark's voice echoes down the hallway, her tone sharp with indignation. "I am the Avengers. Without me, you'll have no funding."
I pause in the doorway, taking in the scene with clinical efficiency. Toni stands in her full Iron Woman armor, helmet removed to reveal her flushed face. Her eyes flash with barely contained fury as she faces off against Dr. Strange, whose calm demeanor only seems to further inflame the billionaire.
"Toni, over a hundred men have sexual assault allegations against you," Dr. Strange replies, her voice measured but firm, gray-streaked hair framing a face set in grim determination.
"They're fucking lies!" Toni's voice rises, her armored fist clenching at her side. The repulsor in her palm flickers briefly with blue energy before she regains control.
My enhanced vision catches every microexpression crossing Dr. Strange's face, the subtle tightening around her eyes, the slight downward turn of her mouth.
"But the photos with Jessie Epstein on her private island," Strange counters, "or the picture with Mimmy. Were those lies, Toni?"
Toni's entire body tenses. "IT WAS A GENETIC RESEARCH CONFERENCE," she roars, slamming her hand down on Strange's antique table. The wood groans but holds. "I WAS BARELY THERE FOR FIVE MINUTES! I only flew over there to give Stephanie Hawking money I lost to her while we were gambling."
I observe this exchange with detached interest. Fascinating how these powerful women resort to such emotional displays. So inefficient.
"Oh? And the Mimmy party?" Dr. Strange asks, one eyebrow raised in skepticism.
Toni runs a hand through her short brown hair, her breathing ragged. "I was an alcoholic and a partier, but I wasn't even fucking back then. I cared more about drinking than men, and I looked into it! I was only there for a half hour before flying to the Hollywood sign that night."
Dr. Strange sighs, folding her arms across her chest. "Listen, Toni, over a hundred men... Where there's smoke, there's fire."
"Someone is trying to turn you all against me!" Toni slams her hand down again, the impact sending a small magical artifact skittering across the table.
This has gone on long enough. Their petty squabble is wasting valuable time, time I could be using to further my own agenda regarding Shane Steele.
"Ahem," I clear my throat, stepping fully into the room.
Both women turn toward me, their argument momentarily forgotten. I straighten my spine, embracing the authority that comes with this body.
"Spider-Woman," Dr. Strange acknowledges, her expression unreadable. "What brings you to the Sanctum?"
"I need your help with a friend of mine," I reply, keeping my voice steady as I step further into the room. "They're dealing with a rather unusual predicament, a demonic entity has taken residence in their body. They've requested assistance in having it Exorcised."
The mechanical arms on my back adjust subtly as I stand before these powerful women. I've calculated this approach carefully, knowing Strange's weakness for mystical problems that require her expertise.
Toni's anger seems momentarily forgotten as she turns toward me. "What's up, Parker?" she asks, her tone shifting from fury to curiosity.
I flinch inwardly. Parker? They know who I am beneath this mask? This is an unexpected variable. My genius mind races through the implications. If they know Spider-Woman's identity, how many others share this information?
Dr. Strange must notice my hesitation because her expression softens slightly. "Oh, feel free to remove the mask if you're more comfortable, Piper. This place has wards to protect your identity from anyone trying to look in."
Interesting. It seems the real Piper would be comfortable removing her mask around these women. A logical decision, then, would be to comply, to maintain the charade until I can secure Strange's assistance with Shane.
"Very well," I say, reaching up to pull off the mask with deliberate movements.
As my face is revealed, Toni's expression transforms. Her eyes widen comically as she takes in my precisely cut bowl-shaped hairstyle. The anger that had been radiating from her just moments ago dissolves into something else entirely.
She places an armored hand on my shoulder, the gesture strangely intimate. "Parker..." she begins, her voice strained as if struggling to maintain composure, "I'm currently going through the worst crisis of my life, but that bowl cut…"
She can't finish her sentence before laughter erupts from her throat, the sound echoing through the Sanctum's ancient halls. Even Dr. Strange's lips twitch upward at the corners.
"Are you kidding me?" Toni manages between bursts of laughter, her hand still resting on my shoulder. "What possessed you to get that monstrosity? Did you put a literal bowl on your head and hand the scissors to a blind person?"
I straighten up, feeling a strange heat rise to my cheeks.
"I find it efficient," I reply stiffly. "It requires minimal maintenance and keeps hair from obstructing my vision during combat situations."
Toni's laughter only grows louder, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "Oh my god, Parker! You'll never get a boyfriend with a cut like that!" She wheezes, barely able to contain herself. "Though maybe that's the point? Some kind of anti-dating force field?"
An unfamiliar sensation floods through me, something akin to panic. It's not mine, yet it is, rising from some deep recess of Parker's consciousness that remains stubbornly embedded in this brain.
"What would be a more suitable hairstyle, then?" I hear myself asking, the words tumbling out before I can analyze their origin or purpose.
Toni's laughter abruptly stops. She cocks an eyebrow, studying me with newfound interest. The armor whirs softly as she crosses her arms.
"Jesus," she mutters, shaking her head. "I really shouldn't be focused on this right now with everything going on, but..." She circles me slowly, her keen eyes assessing me from every angle. "You know what? You've actually got good bone structure, Parker. You could pull off something more asymmetrical. Maybe keep it short on one side, longer on the other."
Dr. Strange sighs audibly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Toni, perhaps we could focus on…"
"No, no," Toni interrupts, waving her off. "This is important. The girl clearly needs guidance." She places both hands on my shoulders, looking directly into my eyes. "Listen, go to Celestial Cuts on 8th Avenue. Ask for Marko. Tell him Iron Woman sent you. He'll know what to do."
I blink rapidly, processing this information with my superior intellect. This interaction is ridiculous, beneath someone of my capabilities. And yet... I cant help but wonder if this would make Shane like me more.
"I'll consider your recommendation," I say stiffly. "But I came here for a specific purpose."
"Right, right. Demons." Toni waves her hand dismissively. "But seriously, that haircut is the real crisis here."
Dr. Strange steps forward, her cloak shifting around her as if sensing her impatience. "You mentioned a friend possessed by a demonic entity? Who exactly are we talking about, Piper?"
"He prefers to remain anonymous."
Dr. Strange's eyes narrow slightly, her clinical gaze assessing me. "Well... if you could give me some time... How urgently does this need to be addressed?"
"The sooner the better," I respond, my tone clipped. "I think the entity grows stronger with each passing day."
Strange sighs, her fingers tracing abstract patterns in the air as she considers. "The Midnight Daughters aren't exactly the easiest group to gather on short notice. A proper exorcism requires preparation, rituals..."
"I can give you something to disable it if you want," Toni interjects unexpectedly, her earlier mirth fading into something more calculated. She steps closer. "A temporary solution until Strange can assemble her mystical girl band."
I turn toward her, my enhanced senses detecting the subtle shift in her posture. A negotiation is coming. "Oh?"
"But you need to be on my side with the Avengers," she continues, confirming my prediction. "People love you, Spider-Woman. Your endorsement carries weight."
The request is logical. A simple transaction, her assistance for my public support. My superior mind calculates the variables instantly. Supporting Toni against these allegations presents minimal risk to my plans for Shane.
"What exactly are you offering?" I ask.
Toni's lips curve into a smile. "It's a ring made of Mysterium."
"Mysterium?" The word feels unfamiliar on my tongue.
"It's a special type of metal," Toni explains, her armored fingers mimicking the shape of a small circle. "Rare stuff. I've been experimenting with it in my lab."
Dr. Strange steps forward, her expression serious. "It has anti-magic properties. If your friend touches it, whatever is possessing him will be cut off from its power source." She pauses, studying my face. "Until he takes it off."
"A ring that can suppress demonic power?" My interest is immediately piqued. This could be precisely what I need for Shane.
"Sure. I'll do whatever you want, Toni," I say, the decision requiring no additional calculation. A simple exchange of services benefits us both.
Toni's face breaks into a triumphant smile. "Alright. When the time comes, I'll call you." She taps something on her gauntlet, the armor emitting a soft beep in response.
A faint whirring sound reaches my enhanced hearing from outside the Sanctum.
"A bot outside has it," Toni explains, gesturing toward the door. "My delivery system is quite efficient."
Dr. Strange sighs heavily, her fingers still tracing arcane patterns in the air. "Should I still gather the Midnight Daughters to…"
"No, don't worry about it," I interrupt, straightening my posture. "This is perfect."
Toni moves toward the exit. At the doorway, she turns back, shooting Dr. Strange a smug look. "Thanks for nothing, Strange."
The door closes behind her with a heavy thud, leaving me alone with the Sorcerer Supreme. The silence stretches between us, thick with unspoken judgment.
"You can't possibly be serious about defending Toni, are you?" Dr. Strange finally says, her voice low and measured. "She's a monster."
"I need the ring."
Strange's expression shifts, her clinical detachment giving way to something colder, more calculating. "Perhaps I misjudged you, Parker."
I pull my mask back on, the familiar sensation of the fabric against my skin oddly comforting.
"Don't be dramatic, Dr. Strange," I say, turning toward the door. "Sometimes practicality must supersede moral absolutism."
As I step outside, a small hovering drone approaches, Iron Woman's distinctive design unmistakable even in this miniaturized form. It extends a metallic arm, offering a small velvet box.
I take it, my enhanced vision immediately analyzing the craftsmanship. The box opens with a soft click, revealing a simple silver band nestled against black velvet. The metal has an unusual luster, almost iridescent under the afternoon sun.
I shut the box.
Perfect. With this, I can neutralize Shane's demonic powers, making him far easier to acquire.
"I guess maybe I should get that haircut… and maybe I should get some new clothes too?"
New Suit: