Monarch of Profound Toxin

"I-I… Mr. Magnasen, wh… I'm afraid I don't have the authority to g-grant such a request."

Eik frowned slightly. "Obviously not, but I figure you could point me in the right direction or something like that? Who do I talk to to get stuff done around here?"

With fingers that were trembling like weeds in a strong breeze, the young man began to leaf through a thick calendar that he pulled in front of him. Several times he looked up as if to check that the X-ranker waiting at his desk wasn't growing impatient enough to rip his head off instead of getting answers.

With a sleeve, he wiped his sweaty forehead and met Eik's firm gaze.

Never in his life had he expected to come face to face with this man. He was practically a living legend. From a fresh world, he had climbed from F-rank to X-rank in a matter of just a small number of years.

He had obviously been aware that Eik had been to court here before and, in fact, even been locked up in one of their holding cells for a little bit in relation to that case as well, but still… How did it make sense that that Eik Magnasen was now standing here in front of him?

"What's your name?" Eik asked.

"My-My name…?"

When the clerk didn't seem to be able to continue, Eik just nodded. "Yep. Your name. I guess you don't have to tell me."

"No, I'll tell you! Right, my name! My name is…" he hesitated as if to remember what the next word out of his name should be. "Iljos! That's my name! My name is Iljos. Iljos, the clerk at… well, h-here."

"Okay, Iljos. My name is Eik. It's nice to meet you."

"Eikwise— Ah, no, I m-mean likewise!" the nervous man corrected as his voice went up a few octaves. Dropping his eyes quickly, he went back to the calendar as he tried and failed, multiple times, to swallow the thick lump in his throat.

"Iljos," the Worldbreaker said, causing the clerk's eyes to snap to his in an instant as if yanked by invisible strings.

"Yes?"

"Take it easy, man."

"Yes sir!" he said quickly, sitting up straighter.

"No, no, I didn't tell you to tense up like a deer caught in a pair of headlights. I said relax."

Iljos tried to get his breathing under control to no avail. "I… I apologize for the unsightly sp—"

"Listen here, dude," Eik said, interrupting the unnecessary apology. "I don't know what kind of rumors you've heard about me, but I'm not in the habit of murdering any random chap I see, you know. I'm just hoping to get your help here, so don't start shivering on me like this, man. You could literally tell me to fuck off right here and right now and you would still be sleeping at home in your own bed tonight with all your limbs intact."

"I…" the clerk tried, but his voice was stuck somewhere deep down in his throat. When his entire existence seemed to pause as he froze in place, Eik just sighed.

"I'll sit down over here for a second, all right? Tell me when you're out of your stupor. I'm a pretty chill guy, all things considered." And with that, he placed a crispy chocolate chip muffin and a pâte à choux with an absurd amount of chocolate-infused whipped cream in the middle in front of Iljos, and sat down in one of the chairs along the wall.

It was pretty comfortable.

In his stupor, Iljos' brain was running at maximum capacity.

For some reason he had expected that legend to be a little… taller, maybe? Certainly more menacing. Not that he wasn't menacing, of course. As a matter of fact, he was possibly the most intimidating man he had ever had the terror of standing in front of.

But Eik himself didn't seem to have that air of superiority that many other high-status individual who came here had. If Iljos thought about it with the sliver of calm he was capable of manifesting in his current mental state, he probably would have assumed the X-ranker to be the same or even lower than the E-rank he himself was.

Well, if he hadn't been able to recognize his face, that is.

Just minutes earlier, he had been standing in the window and watching the spectacle Eik Magnasen put on at the event to appoint him Elixir King. Even though the Alchemist Guild of Gimleh was practically at the other side of the city, he had been able to hear Eik's spoken words perfectly as if he had been standing right next to him.

One of his blue troops had even landed right in front of the court house and disappeared up under the protruding roof.

And the warm aura that had flooded his entire being like his mother's embrace… It had been indescribable. Safe like a hearth at home and immovable like the greatest mountain.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The man sitting in the chair just a few paces away, however, was nothing like that. He was as ordinary as they came.

So if those were the two versions of Eik Magnasen, then what was he even afraid of? One was just a guy on the street, and the other was the greatest protector to ever live as far as Iljos was concerned.

Finally managing to swallow that lump in his throat, he steeled his gazed and looked up. Eik Magnasen was already watching him with a playful smirk. "Welcome back."

Iljos offered a small bow but didn't overdo it. "Thank you. Sorry for the wait, I'm ready to he—" he trailed off. Two pastries on a small plate had been placed on the counter in front of him. "What's this?"

"That's for getting me my information," Eik said, resting his head on a hand. Non-threatening pose.

"My gratitude," Iljos muttered and continued to riffle through the calendar for another thirty seconds, seemingly able to concentrate on the task for the first time since Eik's arrival. "Ah, yes, here we are, Mr. Magnasen. According to our appointment schedule I can fit you in with junior assistant prosecutor Maigo in, uuh, let's see here… eight days."

"Eight days?" Eik gasped. "Not minutes?"

"Days, yes. Are you perhaps busy then? Then I have another opening with the same junior assistant prosecutor two days after that, ten days from today."

Eik groaned. "I am busy all days. I don't have time to wait that long."

"Ah… I see. How would you like to proceed?"

Another chocolate chip muffin landed on the now overflowing plate. "Come on, Iljos. Give me the good stuff already. I know this isn't all you have for me. How about I go in and take a look around myself for a minute?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, sir."

Eik pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. The clerk wasn't supposed to have gotten this much more comfortable. He could at least have stayed somewhat afraid—even just to the point where he nervously let Eik go past. "Who's the most important guy with the most to say around here?"

"That would be High Judge Alred," Iljos answered promptly.

"'Kay, cool. Can I talk to him then?"

"His schedule is rather busy, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, I know, but can't you squeeze me in or something?"

Iljos double checked the high judge's schedule again before answering. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you, Mr. Magnasen. I'm not at liberty to cancel or reschedule any of his appointments."

"I didn't want to pull out this particular type of card, since it's the kind of thing one of those annoying young master types would do, but Iljos, do you not know who I am?"

The young man looked at him, blinking in puzzlement. His eyes darted from side to side as he suddenly seemed unsure. "Uuh… Aren't you Eik Magnasen?"

"Damn straight! Don't you think I deserve a bit of effin' special treatment or something?"

The clerk shrugged. "Rules are rules, Mr. Magnasen. I could lose my job."

"Whatever you would earn here, starting from today and until retirement, in total, I will pay you right now."

For a moment, the young man looked swayed, but eventually he righted himself. "I really rather enjoy my career, Mr. Magnasen."

Eik massaged the bridge of his nose with a groan. This was taking too long. He had told Ihasu it would take at most an hour. She was going to be so mad at him. Where was the desire to stomp on the weak to get his way when he needed it?

Weren't X-rankers supposed to just get their way? Rules were for S'ers, for fuck's sake.

"Tell you what, Iljos. You go and tell this High Judge Alfred, or whatever his name was, that I'm waiting for him right here if he's willing to talk to me. That's all you have to do, all right? Tell him that I'm waiting here and that he is absolutely, totally free to come talk to me or not—his choice one hundred percent—and I will leave this here for you and nobody will have to know a thing about it. How's that?"

As he spoke, Eik placed a single chromatic pearl of Legendary Mystery Medicine on the counter in front of Iljos and wiggled his eyebrows up and down in a gesture that couldn't possibly be misunderstood.

Iljos swallowed, his eyes glued to the pill and leaving no doubt that he knew what it was. "Mr. Magnasen…"

"You're E-rank, right? I can tell. This pill will match your level perfectly. You can either take it yourself or sell it for more money than you have ever seen before. In fact, think of it as a gift from me to you. You don't even have to do what I'm asking. Of course, I would be very grateful if you did, however."

"It wouldn't be fair."

"Okay, tell me what you think about this scenario, all right?" Eik began. "You refuse me now. I won't press the matter and leave again without talking to High Judge Alfred—"

"Alred. His name is High Judge Alred," the clerk corrected.

"Okay, fine. Now, after I leave, you will continue working as normal, la la lah la lah, you know, like that, right? At the end of the day, one of your superiors will come and say something like 'Hey, good job today, Iljos. Anything interesting happen?' and you will answer something like. 'Nah, not really. Oh, well, actually, Eik Magnasen came by but unfortunately nobody had time to see him, as you know.'"

Iljos's lips had become a tight line as his imagination created the scene in his head.

"Now, your superior, boy, their face is going to go white, I tell ya! Like a piece of paper! They're going to be stammering. 'Ei-Eik Magnasen? Not the X-ranked Worldbreaker who's basically, like, the coolest and most hip guy in town, right? Not that Eik Magnasen, surely!'" Eik acted expertly. "And you will be saying. 'No, yeah, him.' So, at this point your superior is dashing back to the offices like mad."

Iljos swallowed hard, glancing back down the hallway leading deeper into the building behind him.

"Two minutes later High Judge Alred arrives, breathing hard from stress. 'Iljos!' he hisses. 'Why didn't you tell me Eik Magnasen was here? All he wanted was to talk to me!' And you will say 'But, sir, it isn't fair that he would get to speak to you when you're busy. And I can't simply come running to you anytime someone wants to talk to you. I would be interrupting you every minute of the day!'"

Iljos nodded almost imperceptibly at this.

Eik put his hands on his hips and thrust out his chest. "'Boy! Don't you know that if we had a close relationship with a man as powerful and righteous man as Eik Magnasen, he could help us dish out justice like lattes at a coffee house? Any time some sleazy crook tries to use their money and influence to skirt the law and trample on the common man, having a bastion of morals like Eik Magnasen in our pocket would be invaluable. It would be the end of injustice within the Nidafjeld Alliance!' But, alas," Eik continued, adopting an expression of profound sadness. "you let me walk out of here in two minutes, never to be seen again."

Iljos stared open-mouthed for a few second before pushing his chair back. "I'll-I'll be right back, Mr. Magnasen!" he said and padded down the hallways only to turn back around after a few steps. He collected the valuable pill and stuffed it into his pocket without a word before disappearing around a corner further down.

Eik retook his seat in the chair and breathed a sigh of self-satisfaction. "Master baker and master negotiator," he muttered to himself with a grin.