Monarch of Profound Toxin

"Now, what did you say about me becoming the Elixir King?" Eik asked while Guild Master Ganyak hir Gawak, Jarice, Aohan, and every other person in the room were still staring open-mouthed at the old man's metal tablet that displayed his new title and ability.

"Uuh, Mr. Magnasen, if you would just grant me a moment to digest what has just happened to me…" the elderly guild master muttered.

Taking a seat in one of the comfortable chairs, Eik smiled. "That's totally fine."

"M-Mr. Magnasen…" Aohan mumbled, only just barely able to tear his eyes away from his guild master's groundbreaking advancement. "How many times can you do that?"

The X-ranker shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure about that, but it's certainly not infinite."

"And… is there one for me?"

Stunned for a moment, Eik burst into laughter. "There might well be, my friend. There might well be. But not quite yet, mind you. I still haven't taken in everybody I believe I need, so I must do that before I can hand it out more freely."

"You need me?" Ganyak hir Gawak asked, looking up from the little plate in his hand.

"Yes, about that. I didn't mention it earlier but I'm hoping you'll promise me one more thing."

"Anything. In exchange for this, all you have to do is ask and I shall strive to fulfill any request you might have for me." he said. "I'll even give you my granddaughter if you want each other."

Eik held up his hands and chuckled nervously. "Why don't we hold off on that for now? Besides, while I'm certainly not looking myself, I don't think she is either, if you know what I mean."

That did seem to take the old man by surprise. "Oh, really? Is that so? I was beginning to think nobody would be interested in her eccentricities. Who is it, if I may ask?"

"Robert. You've met him many times."

"Ah," he aah'd with seemingly pleasant surprise. "That's very nice. He's a good man. I should send them on a getaway."

"I already offered that. But I'm sure they would love a second one," Eik grinned.

"So, you said you had something to ask of me?" Ganyak hir Gawak said, getting back on track.

"Yes," Eik said. "It's one of the reasons I wanted to make you a minion. You're the best alchemist I can think of and I need someone to, if against all odds something happened to me, learn to make my Legendary Mystery Medicine."

Even more so than the guild master's sudden promotion, those words drew the attention of all of the alchemists in the room. They were practically stumbling over each other as they begged to be initiated into his Court as well.

With sudden strength that seemed to surprise himself most of all, Ganyak hir Gawak strong-armed the entire group to the side. For a moment, he stopped to stare at his own hands in shock but quickly got back on track. "As an alchemist, I would obviously never turn down such an incredible opportunity, but I feel like I have to ask… why?"

"Well, Eik's Excellent Elixir Emporium is pretty much the lifeblood of Earth's current prosperity. If I were to disappear as a direct support of my home world, that money and general influence due to our unique products would only grow more important. In such a case, you would be tasked with continuing production and protection of the production method."

"I would be honored. You would really trust me to carry such a responsibility for you?"

Eik smiled and put a hand on the rejuvenated man's shoulder. "You know what? Yes, I would."

"But if you were to die, would the guild master's new power remain, or would it fade along with your life?" Jarice asked.

Eik winced but couldn't hold back a grin. "A little dark, no? But, honestly, I don't have a clue. I've never died, so…"

His eyes narrowed. "Fair enough…"

"Now," the guild master exclaimed. "Enough dilly-dallying. Let's get on with it! The reason we're all here is your appointment to Elixir King, after all!"

"Uuh, guild master, it's not quite an appointment yet. It's still just a nomination." The correction came from one of the administrators whose name Eik was not yet familiar with.

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"Oh, was that what it was?" the old man said with some sourness. "Why was that again?"

This time, Aohan was the one to step in and defuse the slight tension. "Guild master, I think a matter like that would be more appropriately discussed behind closed doors and not in the presence of the person in question."

With a sigh, he waved off the critique. "Right you are, both of you. Very well. We will continue this after Mr. Magnasen has taken his leave," he said and leaned in closer to Eik, cupping a hand over his mouth but not bothering to lower his voice overmuch as he winked conspicuously. "But I think I know how it will work out."

"Please, guild master…" If he hadn't already been, it would appear that the pain relief, initiation in the Court of the Supreme Divinity of Toxin, and perhaps most of all, the promise of the method to produce the Legendary Mystery Medicine, had pulled the guild master firmly into Eik's corner.

"Fine, fine," Ganyak hir Gawak muttered, waving them off once more. "For now, how about we discuss what we originally invited him here to talk about?"

There were nods around the room.

"And what are we talking about, exactly?" Eik wondered aloud.

"The implications of becoming the Elixir King."

"All right, but why have you chosen to do this now, in the middle of a crisis?"

Ganyak hir Gawak smiled. "Why, isn't that the very best time for something like this? It's something else to think about for everybody, not to mention a good way to consolidate your influence with the people of Gimleh and the civilizations associated with the Alliance at a time where you need it most."

"Huh…"

***

"Daddy's home!" Eik called as he kicked off his boots on the mat and hung his coat on the rack by the front door.

Ihasu peeked in through the door from the living room. "Hey, hon. I'm just working on some calculations. How was your day?"

"'S fine, I guess. Just going to the office, signing whatever documents Bobby puts in front of me without reading any of it, and grinding alchemy like a damned RPG character is kind of boring after all the fighting I've been doing recently. I mean, how many X-ranked Worldbreakers do you know who are constantly hounded by their assistant to handle ever-growing stacks of paperwork?`"

Shaking her head and rolling her eyes slightly, she sighed. "No, I suppose I don't know any X-ranked Worldbreakers who do that much paperwork."

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, how did it go today? Did you get it?"

For a moment she tried to keep it under control, but within a second she was grinning from ear to ear. "I don't know, I guess it went pretty well," she sang, fluttering her eyelashes.

"So, then that means...?"

"You're looking at the official new supervising director of the Earth branch of the Nidafjeld Fracture Administration Agency."

In an instant, a virtual slip' n' slide of blue jelly sprung into existence and established a winding but complete route through the house from her chair to the front door where Eik was standing. With an abruptly existing cushion of the same material and a mental command from Eik, Ihasu was launched high enough into the air to nearly touch the ceiling and then onto the toxic track with a shriek of surprise.

"Eik, what are you do-ooo-ing?" she cried, tears flowing from pure glee.

After a solid six to eight seconds of sliding, she was flung off the end and into his arms. "You are so amazing! You've been studying like crazy and I just knew you would be able to do it!"

"Thank you," she laughed as he spun her around. "Thanks for supporting me!"

"I will never not support you, sweetheart!" he said and set her down. "We'll have some good stuff for dinner tonight. Anything you want!"

"Thank you. I'll give it a think," she chuckled.

"By the way," he continued. "I believe I said 'daddy's home', but it didn't notice any kids crying with happiness as they came running to greet me at the door."

"Yeah, about that, Bin went home with her friend Philip from school after class. I think she might be having dinner with him and his family tonight."

"Ph… Philip's… house?" The words echoed through Eik's ears and throughout his whole body, wreaking havoc more destructive than anything he had ever experienced before. Like the most powerful of forces, it paralyzed him and despite being a practically peerless existence, he felt his muscles fail as his knees buckles under him and sent him to the floor at once.

A single, fatherly tear of manly loneliness streaked down his cheek while Ihasu stood by and watched the circus with a sigh.

Not even a moment later, the squishy sound of a new slip' n' slide rider reached his ears and he looked up with wonder. The cutest, most super duper loyal-to-his-dad boy named Goo came sliding in with the biggest, most adorable grin and threw himself into Eik's embrace.

"My son!" Eik cried as he held the boy close against his chest and kissed him on the forehead about a dozen times.

"Daddy!" came the reply.

"That's right! That's exactly right! Who do you love more than anybody else in the world?" he asked his son.

"Mommy, and daddy—" Goo said, and Eik looked up at Ihasu with tears of joy.

"See, my love. Isn't it just so wonderful—"

"—'s snacks!" Goo finished.

"… to hear…?"

Ihasu couldn't hold back a snort of laughter and ran into the living room as the entirety of the slip' n' slide collapsed into liquid around her and flowed back to Eik.

Like a saving grace, a knock on the door cut through the spectacle. Holding back even more tears, Eik sent his boy running across the couch in the living room after a couple of crispy chocolate chip muffins and opened the door.

On the doorstep stood the same representative of the Alchemist Guild of Gimleh, beaming.

"Yes…?" he drawled.

She bowed deeply. "Mr. Magnasen, I have been sent to you to request your presence at the main offices of the Alchemist Guild of Gimleh."

He frowned. "Was my presence not requested at your main offices just yesterday afternoon?"

"Well, yes, but this time it is about something different."

"Okay, what?"

"I believe it concerns your nomination for Elixir King," she said.

"The thing yesterday was also about that, though."

"Yes, but this time is about a different phase of the process."

Eik looked down at the bag of groceries he had bought to make himself a nice sandwich for a late lunch and sighed. "God, I miss e-mail," he muttered under his breath.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.

"Nothing… What specifically is it about today?" he asked as he pulled his boots back on.

"If I'm not mistaken, they're hoping to coordinate a ceremony to appoint you Elixir King."