Chapter 126: Piracy is Shameful
Yes, this was the Northern Song Dynasty.
A dynasty with an unparalleled assembly of top civil officials.
Any random person could turn out to be Su Dongpo.
Any random girl could be Li Qingzhao.
Even the official most notorious for being treacherous, Cai Jing, was a great calligrapher.
What’s more infuriating is that even the “Messi of the Northern Song” Gao Qiu[1] could write beautiful calligraphy.
It was truly shameful.
…
Who’s Dongpo?
Zhang Fei suddenly realized the seriousness of the situation. If Su Shi asked this question, the literary world might lose Su Dongpo forever! This would be a great sin!
However, as a fan of Li Qingzhao, Zhang Fei naturally harbored some hostility towards Su Dongpo. He had debated with roommates or netizens about whose poetry was better, Su Dongpo’s or Li Qingzhao’s.
Although Li Qingzhao’s father, Li Gefei, was from the Su school, and Su Shi could be considered Li Qingzhao’s mentor, the issue was that Li Qingzhao had the nickname “Critique Li” because she once criticized Su Dongpo’s poetry, saying it was just unpolished sentences, not true poetry.
So, her fans naturally emulated their idol, proclaiming that she was the best in the world.
However, everyone knows that both internet warriors and keyboard warriors have a fatal flaw: they become timid when they meet in person.
Zhang Fei was no exception, quickly changing the topic, “Mister Su, are you here to see Academician Sima?”
He was very polite.
Su Shi was slightly taken aback, “Oh, I am here to see Zhang San.”
Why is he looking for me? To file a lawsuit? Zhang Fei raised his hand sheepishly, “I am Zhang San.”
“You are Zhang San?”
Su Shi scrutinized Zhang Fei, frowning, “Strange! Not as I heard. I heard Zhang San dressed flamboyantly, with powdered face and red lips, neither male nor female, with a sly look and sharp features. You look quite ordinary!”
Zhang Fei was dumbfounded.
Am I supposed to be ordinary or sly-looking?
How should I choose?
Sima Guang stroked his beard and laughed heartily, gloating, “Rare! Rare indeed! Rare for someone to render this kid speechless.”
Su Shi seemed to realize his words were inappropriate, quickly asking, “Are you really Zhang San?”
Zhang Fei nodded gloomily, “Yes, I am Zhang Fei, also known as Zhang San, style name Yi’an, art name Dongpo, known as the Sponger Who Goes Wild.”
Sima Guang looked at Zhang Fei in surprise, thinking, this kid has just one poem, but his nicknames are quite complete!
Su Shi suddenly realized, pointing at Zhang Fei, “So you are Dongpo!”
Zhang Fei cupped his hands, “Indeed, Zhang Dongpo. I was just stating my nicknames.”
Sima Guang asked, “Su Shi, what do you want with him?”
Su Shi laughed, “What else is there to do with Zhang San. Of course I’m here to file a lawsuit.”
“A lawsuit?” Sima Guang was surprised, “You’ve just returned, and you’re already involved in a lawsuit?”
Zhang Fei also looked at Su Shi curiously.
Su Shi suddenly pulled out a book, “Academician Sima, take a look at this, is there any justice in this world?”
Sima Guang took it and saw, “Su Shi’s Collection. This is your poetry collection!”
Su Shi was immediately furious, “Those unscrupulous merchants are selling my poetry collections again, with wrongly written words, which is fine, but they also included the lewd poems of Liu Yong in the collection under my name, ruining my reputation!”
Zhang Fei asked, “Who is Liu Yong?”
Su Shi said, “You’d obviously not know of him.”
“…?”
Zhang Fei was sweating slightly, thinking, no wonder my idol’s nickname is Critique Li, her mentor is like this. Literary people do look down on each other, it seems.
Forget it, better not get involved in these literary giants’ affairs, lest I make a fool of myself.
Even Sima Guang, a literary giant, found it hard to say anything.
If it were anyone else, Sima Guang would have said something fair, as Liu Yong, despite his shortcomings, was not someone to be casually criticized. But it was Su Shi, whose talent overflowed. His criticism of Liu Yong… well, what can one do?
Even if Liu Yong were alive, he probably couldn’t argue back. After all, Su Shi had passed the civil examination at a young age, while Liu Yong failed the exams numerous times and only passed when the standards were relaxed during a particular ad-hoc examination held by the grace of the emperor.
Sima Guang chuckled, “Liu Yong’s poems are quite good. Be content. Last time my wife bought a collection of your poems, only the first seven were yours, the remaining thirteen were by others, mostly unrecognizable, and one was even by a courtesan at the White Crystal Inn.”
Su Shi gritted his teeth, “These merchants are truly despicable. This time I won’t let them off.”
He then looked at Zhang Fei, “Can we sue?”
Zhang Fei asked dumbly, “Sue for what?”
Su Shi said, “Of course, sue that bookstore called Gathering the Capable.”
Zhang Fei asked again, “Sue them for what?”
Su Shi said, “Sue them for stealing my poetry.”
“Piracy?”
Zhang Fei exclaimed.
“Piracy?” Su Shi was taken aback, then thought for a moment, and happily said, “Piracy, piracy, this term is good, truly worthy of a pen-in-cap, weaving charges so effortlessly.”
Zhang Fei blinked, was that a compliment or an insult?
Sima Guang frowned, “This is common. Many officials have expressed dissatisfaction, but it persists. Our dynasty has no laws for this.”
After all, Northern Song scholars had an unprecedented status, and they had a vague notion of copyright, but lacked legal awareness.
Scholars like Sima Guang felt annoyed when their works were pirated but didn’t say much to avoid seeming petty.
It was all about perspective.
But Su Shi was different; he frequently ranted about it, cursing whenever he saw it. He was the ultimate ranter.
Su Shi laughed, “If there were laws, I would go straight to the Kaifeng Prefectural Office. But since there are no laws, I come to Zhang San for help.”
Sima Guang also looked at Zhang Fei.
Piracy? Copyright? Printing? Zhang Fei pondered for a while and suddenly smiled, “Mister Su is right. If there are no laws, I will create one.”
Sima Guang was surprised, “Create a law?”
Zhang Fei nodded with a smile but said nothing more, then turned to Su Shi, “Mister Su, I will take your case.”
“Truly worthy of the famed Zhang San,” Su Shi couldn’t help but take notice, “But I have one condition.”
Zhang Fei asked, “What condition?”
Su Shi smiled, “You must not only sue the bookstore but also ensure no one else uses my poetry for profit.”
Who would have thought that the bold Su Shi lived such a meticulous life, even putting so much thought into filing a lawsuit? Zhang Fei laughed, “I also have a condition.”
“What condition?” Su Shi asked.
Zhang Fei said, “A hundred strings of cash as payment for my service.”
“… A hundred strings?”
Su Shi gasped.
His gaze seemed to say, why don’t you rob the treasury?
Even the most unscrupulous pen-in-caps weren’t this ruthless!
Zhang Fei nodded seriously, “Today is our law firm’s reopening, so I have included an eighty percent discount.”
“A hundred strings was at an eighty percent discount? Normally, it would be five hundred strings?”
Su Shi was dumbfounded.
Zhang Fei nodded, “If you don’t believe me, you can ask Academician Sima.”
Sima Guang stroked his beard and laughed, looking around, “Su Shi, you see, his firm has just reopened, and there’s not a single guest, so you can tell most people wouldn’t have the means to hire him.”
Wow… even his words are so harsh?
Zhang Fei glanced at Sima Guang awkwardly, not knowing how to retort.
Su Shi asked suspiciously, “But I heard you didn’t charge the Shi family.”
“That was my wife.”
“And you didn’t charge Li Si.”
“That was my little brother.”
“Young Master Cao…?”
“Oh, Young Master Cao paid two thousand strings.”
“…?”
Su Shi thought, should I be his uncle or his big brother?
The price was outrageous!
Su Shi had just finished mourning and didn’t have much money. After thinking for a moment, “Shouldn’t Jiju Xian compensate me for my losses?”
Zhang Fei nodded, “Of course.”
Su Shi said, “I want to claim a hundred strings.”
Zhang Fei nodded with a smile, “Reasonable.”
Su Shi immediately said, “Then, the compensation from Gathering the Capable will be your fee. I won’t take a single coin.”
Zhang Fei was about to nod but then realized, “That’s unreasonable! Even if we lose, you still have to pay, as I put in the work.”
Su Shi laughed, “If we lose, I will reimburse you fully.”
“Alright!”
Zhang Fei reluctantly nodded. Su Shi’s mind was quick, and if they lost, Zhang Fei would lose more than a hundred strings. But letting Su Shi gain the upper hand didn’t sit well with Zhang Fei as a Li Qingzhao fan. After considering, he said, “Since Mr. Su trusts me so much, I won’t disappoint you. I won’t charge you, but all compensation you win from this case will go to me.”
Su Shi scrutinized Zhang Fei, hesitated, and glanced at Sima Guang.
Sima Guang kindly advised, “You can’t outsmart him, don’t bother trying.”
Su Shi laughed, “It seems you have accepted that you lost to him last time.”
Sima Guang glared at him, “You haven’t changed at all!”
“Sorry! Sorry! I misspoke.” Su Shi quickly apologized, then turned to Zhang Fei, “I’ll pay.”
Zhang Fei smiled, “Alright.”
Hmm?
Su Shi found his quick agreement suspicious, then reconsidered, “Let’s do it your way.”
Sima Guang couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re making a fool of yourself.”
Su Shi smiled awkwardly.
“Zhang San! Zhang San!”
Suddenly, there were shouts from outside.
Cao Dongdong, Ma Xiaoyi, and Fu Shichun swaggered in.
“Ah! Academician Sima is here? We won’t disturb you.”
They immediately turned and left.
No playboy wanted to share a roof with Sima Guang.
That would be self-torture.
Sima Guang only smiled and shook his head.
Zhang Fei didn’t mind and immediately prepared ink and paper to draft a formal contract with Su Shi.
“Do I have to write it?” Su Shi asked, surprised.
Zhang Fei said sheepishly, “I know you are very learned. My shop’s contract might not meet your standards. Why don’t you write it yourself?”
Su Shi smiled and nodded, “Alright!”
Soon, Su Shi wrote two copies.
Of course, a contract couldn’t be written so casually, so Zhang Fei suggested some formal phrases, leaving the rest to Su Shi.
“Two copies aren’t enough?” Su Shi was puzzled as Zhang Fei handed him a yellow paper.
Zhang Fei said, “This, well, our firm is a partnership, so the bookstore needs a copy, and I need one personally.”
Su Shi didn’t mind and wrote another copy.
Zhang Fei took it carefully, secretly delighted. This had to be preserved for future generations, so they could boast that Su Shi once sought their ancestor for a lawsuit. Heh heh…
[1] Gao Qiu was a Song dynasty official who is famous for being good at football/soccer. Here’s a write up on the r/soccer subreddit.