Chapter 256: Bottled-up Explosion
A look of consternation washed across Awilix’s face as her gaze settled on her unexpected audience of one.
She couldn’t even play it off with feigned idiocy.
"When did you...?"
Toy smiled gently.
"For a while now. Sir sent me here. Said to watch the Dungeon Core while they all dealt with something."
’Something?’
Awilix knew that was most likely the aftermath of Greed’s departure. In particular, Akkuron paying them a visit.
And once again, she’d been left behind.
Hell, they hadn’t even warned her.
’Perhaps that’s my dumb fault...’
She was the one who pushed everyone away.
It wasn’t like she was particularly lonely or reveled in that fact, but that her pushing others away was only now showing an effect once she’d been labeled as weak.
Without her being ’strong’, they had no need for her.
Awilix clicked her tongue and looked away from the small goblin.
"You could at least have the decency to announce yourself."
"I was about to... but I was enamored by your dancing. And, well, confused by your... sadness."
The small goblin chuckled and scratched her cheek.
Rolling her eyes, Awilix plopped onto the ground.
"You were seeing things, dumbass."
"No," Toy shook her head, "I don’t think I was."
A heavy, uncomfortable quiet descended, hanging in the air. Awilix refused to look at Toy.
The goblin patiently waited for a response, sitting down and twirling the indestructible blades of grass between her fingers.
Eventually, Toy gave up and broke the silence.
"I can feel it. I can feel the bitterness in your movements. Especially so when you were dancing, but even now... even now I can sense the languid nature of every move you make. It’s... not like you."
Awilix’s head snapped toward Toy.
"You don’t know shit about me."
No longer needing to fear Awilix, Toy offered a gentle smile.
"You’re right... I don’t. I never claimed to, though. Well, not anymore at least."
A deep, sorrowful exhalation escaped Toy’s lips, the sound echoing the weight settling upon her, causing her to sink lower. Then, Toy said:
"Honestly, you may be an absolute bitch..."
Awilix’s head whipped back and forth in quick, jerky motions. She was momentarily frozen, stunned by the audacity of the usually docile Toy. Awilix’s voice caught in her throat.
Toy continued:
"...But I felt a sort of kinship with you. Before you got your memories back, at least. All you had ever been was a charmed servant of the dungeon. Your experiences here were all you knew, just like me."
Toy quietly sighed.
"Then, you got your memories back, and I was once again the lone pastless beast who doesn’t know how to think for myself. Well, there’s Sivian now, but my senses tell me she’s dangerous, so I stay away."
Resting her hands on the grass, Toy leaned back.
"Truthfully, I’m a bit jealous. You reclaimed your past. However, seeing you now, maybe my jealousy was misplaced. Awilix, just what did you... remember? What gave you this air of sadness and inferiority?"
"Huh? Are you misunderstanding something, goblin?"
Toy shook her head.
"Seeing as you decided to listen to me at all, what I said seemed to have resonated somewhere inside of you."
Awilix growled as she clutched the grass.
"Who cares what I remembered?"
"I care."
"What? Your head okay?"
"Yeah, it’s quite okay. Hopefully..."
Toy began fiddling with her head, her fingers running through her neat dark green hair.
"It’s clearly not. Have you—"
Toy cut the cat off:
"No, I have not forgotten, Awilix. But recently I’ve been trying to think for myself and revisit my hates and dislikes. I’ve been trying to become my own person. Actually, I was going to ask you for advice when I was sent down here."
"Me? Giving advice? And on something as frivolous as that?"
"From the way I see you, you’re someone deeply in tune with your emotions. That’s why your sadness is so... palpable. I believe I can learn a lot from you."
Awilix’s claws twitched as she dug her nails into the grass. Then, she exhaled and relaxed in one sudden motion.
"Deeply in tune with my emotions? That’s some bullshit."
Toy’s face darkened.
"Seriously..." Toy ground her teeth, feeling the tension pull tight in her jaw, "You really know how to piss me off."
Toy’s fist rose.
Awilix’s eyebrow rose as well.
"What are you...?"
Toy’s fist came crashing toward Awilix.
Awilix barely rolled away from the blow, then screamed:
"The hell was that?!"
"For pissing me off!"
"The fuck are you even talking about?! You come down here spouting nonsense, then try to punch me?! What’s wrong with you?!"
"What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! You. You so clearly and obviously understand what you’re feeling and know those feelings to be your own, but you take it for granted!"
Toy charged again, kicking off her foot and launching a right hook at Awilix’s ribs.
The cat jumped to the side, but Toy switched her stance and kicked her foot into Awilix’s stomach.
Awilix jumped away and crumpled to her knees.
Looking down at the fallen cat, Toy shouted:
"I’ve been trying to learn my own hate and love, Awilix. Yet you, you are aware of your own yet do nothing about them. You did before getting your memories back, but now? You’re pitiful. More pitiful than even me. The current you disgusts me, truly."
Awilix spit on the ground, then stood up while clutching her side.
"Just shut up, asshole. What are you even—"
Toy grumbled as she stepped toward Awilix.
"I said I care about you; I didn’t lie about that. Because hate is a form of care as well. Caring about you fuels my hate."
Toy dashed forward with a burst of speed too great for Awilix to dodge. She tackled the cat to the ground, then began punching her in the face after each word.
"All. You. Had. To. Do..." Toy pulled back her fist, a bit of Awilix’s blood dripping from her knuckle. "Was tell me why you were sad. But, no! That was apparently too hard for you!"
Toy slammed her fist down into the grass next to Awilix’s head.
"Just tell me! Is it that hard?!"
Awilix looked to the side and spit out a mouthful of blood.
"Why should..." Awilix looked into Toy’s malevolent gaze, seeing a malice she’d only ever seen in the eyes of a predator ready to kill their prey. "Gyah-shit! Fine, I was sad. Now get off me, dumbass!"
A scowl darkened Toy’s face as her eyebrows came together.
"Not until you explain."