Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai

(Rose)

It’s hard to find a good name when you have limited imagination. I thought of calling her Nacht or Nuit. But... Well, I’ll keep these two in the ‘maybe’ pile, and see if I can think of something better.

While Blume grows towards the helicopter to invade it like moss over an old wall, I’m washing the body of the new-born slowly.

It, or she, has the body with the size of an adult and probably the skeleton too. But she’s not that human or adult looking entirely.

Her skin is as black as Nightmare’s was. This could make sense, but it doesn’t really, and I cannot help but feeling odd at how much black skins I’ve been along these past few years. So she’s kushi too.

She’s coughing out some green fluid that was in her lungs. Her eyes are still sealed by new-born skin. She can’t open her eyes just yet. I hold her well as she lies there, awakening. She holds my arms back, with good strength for a baby.

I whisper to myself a selfish thought. One of vanity.

She’s the first person I really want to look good for, as she’ll soon lay her gaze for the first time on me.

So I shut my eyes and I open one of the gates slightly inside of me. The one with the knowledge my sister shared with me, and bequeathed to me. My shadow grows, and my flesh changes, ever so slightly.

Just... not much really. Rather than make myself appear twenty years younger right off the bat, I just polish some ends, as I see my reflection here or there. Like make up.

An unusual mind for me. Maybe I want to wash my face and my hands in more ways than one right now.

Also I know enough from indirect experience, from knowledge Blume mostly shared before, that even if I went to fully rejuvenate myself, the cosmetic change wouldn’t rewrite all other aspects of what my age truly is.

I don’t want to cheat that much anyway.

We’ve had long talks over the subject of ageing over the years, and what’s possible or not really. It never affected me and my opinion about myself very much.

Just today... As her eyes are about to really open, I want to look good...

The other half of her body is moving softly as well beneath us, retracting flesh, roots and other things that could be her hair or fur, but look like neither exactly. Let’s just say her hair began to dry like the wings of a butterfly would, and it’s quite voluminous.

Her face has meaty cheeks. I already want to pinch them. For now I just wash them gently. Her teeth are all black as well, and somewhat soft.

She bites my hand and hold it. Her teeth are like tire rubber, so at least I don’t risk losing fingers today.

As her eyelids begin to dry, they gradually start to open.

I’m holding this person taller than me dearly like a young child waking up. It’s something I’ve never really done before. I’ve held my younger sisters but...

Many people told me about it. Some words from a distant world still echo inside my head. I tear up.

My life is a train wreck that somehow goes on rolling. And that’s saying something coming from me.

Still rolling into the unknown and chaos, at full speed.

And against all odds, although I knew for a long while this day would come, it still is a shock to live it.

A child is given to me.

This pulls so many of the sensitive strings of my heart, my mind and my memories... So many...

I can’t help but tear up slightly.

A child’s life is now mine to care for. For now I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, one after the other.

As I reopen my teary eyes, my gaze meets hers with a slight twitch of surprise.

Large dark eyes.

As beautiful as a starry night sky...

Gosh, I’m already cheesy like a mother.

I stopped breathing for a moment though as our eyes met, startled.

I smiled as softly and gently as I could, amidst the warm tears.

R – Good morning you... Rise and shine.

A childish smile appeared on her face. And some gigglish laughter. She has a voice, but no words. I’ve been too used to beings-like-her that were quickly if not instantly able to talk just like me.

I almost forgot that new-borns have to learn.

Which is also a surprise in a different way. Because this means that despite the very inhuman look of her body at birth, she has a mind that is very human nonetheless. Adult body and baby’s mind. Where she could have been anything.

For now, she’s trying to suck on my finger, but unfortunately it doesn’t give much milk.

Plus she already has teeth, so I’m not sure milk would still be her main diet. It’s instinct.

But I didn’t think about all that exactly at that time. On that moment, I was just speechless and tearing up still, holding her dear.

She made so many things of my heart move without a word, strings vibrating, ring, sing, and tear up. In a few seconds or minutes of her awakening, she turned me in an emotional wreck.

R – I love you...

She was already falling asleep against me, her head over my shoulder in a hug. Waking up exhausted her.

I could hear her heartbeat and feel it. It’s probably a little oversized for a human.

But the half of her body that is attached to her back like hair or fur probably requires some of that power too.

Her hair is like a wide mantle of anarchic wires and leaves-looking protrusions, wide enough to cover us both like a blanket, and more heavy and thick than at least three layers of wool.

Meaning that as she falls asleep over me, she’s too heavy for me!

I’m getting stuck with her under the blanket of her hair that moved along and fell over us, still damp.

I could crawl out of that bed... But I don’t want to.

For now I just want to hold onto her. To hold her would be exaggerating a little what my arms can do given her size and weight already.

I don’t want to leave her alone yet.

She didn’t cry on her first time awoken, but boy I sure did, for the two of us...

Just thinking of you and your face now, when I think of the word child, is enough to make me want to cry. Warm cry.

Your existence is already bound to me in so many ways. The word child is already completely transformed in meaning and weight to me.

So many will follow...

So many things happened before you, leading me to you... You will have no idea of how much you mean to me. Nor how much I already loved you.

~