Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai

(Rose)

There is so much I would be able to give to a child. And most importantly, the limits of my human heritage. Not that I think there’s anything wrong about it.

But in this world, it doesn’t strike me as the wisest choice, to be human from birth.

If anything, if there’s but one thing I’ve learnt in this world, it’s that humanism can grow independently from the organic heritage it was bound to.

A 100% normal human wouldn’t last long, or it would be an incredible challenge nowadays. Especially starting from birth. And even more from the likelihood of a pregnancy being completed now. In this environment, many things are aligned against humanity of the past. The challenge to make a life worth living for a child in this day is so great, I would never have tried it.

I think about Bleue and her ideas pushed onto me. Despite her wings, she was human, and we were trying to live that way. I could believe in raising a child with her. I did...

Now everything is different. And if I am to raise a child as mine, whether it biologically is or not, I will be more confident toward his or her future if I know it starts from a different paradigm.

Human evolution is over. But my sister and my sweet flower can bypass these lines, as they have for themselves.

Becoming human in soul, slowly, and in body too maybe, occasionally.

They can create bodies with tweaks to make life easier. They can take good shortcuts and smartly redesign organisms. These beings-like-them are eugenic by nature. They create themselves as they wish to be, from what they understand. And now, it may be the best way to go.

As Blume would say again, nature doesn’t care. Only humans judge. And perhaps gods, whether they’re old or new.

Sanïssia Snake was one of a kind masterpiece, but even my body when I was able to digest mud was already such an improvement.

I’ve never pushed or reconsidered my thin motherly desires, for many reasons.

My past history, and not just relating to Bleue, for once. But on a less egoistical side as well. For I care about the life a child of mine would have to live, what would be to enjoy, and what hardship there would be to endure.

Life as a human baby in my arms would mostly be doomed from the start, and if by some miracle it would survive a few years, growing up in this world, with only me to keep it alive and educate it, that would be rough at best.

Anything is possible, but by all metrics I could see, it would be a tragic challenge for its future. I can’t raise a fully human child into this world. Demise would lurk all the time.

There are things and challenges I see as too dangerous. It’s not worth it.

Me, as a mother, is already quite a challenging start, for anything in that position. The more adapted to the world this future child can be, the easier life will be, not just for me.

Nightmare lurked around it a few times. But from her perspective, it’s more about playing with possibilities and new materials. It’s nothing as emotionally invested as Bleue was.

Nightmare doesn’t wish to be a mother, yet. But her sight has shifted. Her affections grew. Her moral, her heart, has shifted. And I can trust her now with such a thing as the existence of my child...

I wonder if that was the biggest decision of my entire life? I have no clue what will happen to me, to them, to the child. But I’m ready. As much as I could be. Because I trust my sister, and the flower on my heart.

I trust them to be able to offer everything I could not by myself.

A body made for this world. And all the prerequisites for all that makes us humane.

Nightmare pulled out another of the pearls. One that contains me.

I had a last thought and ponder about it. Still time to change my mind.

Blume was quietly with me.

I nodded.

Nightmare, though still a little under the surprise, began to smile in the softer manner ever. I might have somehow touched her, in more ways than one.

Nightmare made the barely visible pearl float and vanish like an arrow into the night.

It dives into the water of this sea, to reach the embryo she has begun to build.

Just like that, something entirely new begins for me.

~

N – Months.

R – Well, I still have some time before it actually begins then.

B – A change of heart?

R – Not at all. Although I am wondering about what the future will hold for us.

Mostly the same and the good I hope.

B – How will you teach your blood thirst?

R – Ey!

Blume is already laughing her ass off at the prospect of being a fairy god mother.

I’d be more surprised to still see Nightmare around as years go by, but she would be quite an aunt as well.

The kind that teaches you to hunt animals heavier than yourself. Impressive.

And possibly how to resurrect them as well. Phantasmagorical. The most impressive of aunts I can picture, lives.

Nightmare is crafting a lifeform for her own pleasure and fun. Not exactly my child in the common definition of the concept. But a child or creature I’ve decided to adopt as mine, and raise as such.

B – You don’t want to carry it?

R – Hm?

N – She wouldn’t be able to.

R – In my womb you mean?

N – I will use pieces of you, but you couldn’t carry it.

R – I don’t know if that’s reassuring.

Nightmare grins. The black egg, an orb of ink of at least four metres in diameter, floats in the water behind us.

What she’s crafting inside remains a surprise.

But it will be her newer masterwork, and my child...

~

Over the following days and weeks, we continued travelling toward the delta.

Blume’s forest sailed like a giant porous ship. Nightmare’s creation was now carried below like a large black egg.

She spent a lot of time inside of it, working her magic, crafting a life to her own image. No umbilical cord binds either of us to it. But I already begin to build an emotional attachment for whatever is to come.

Because a part of this child will be the best of all of us, and what we can offer to the world.

~