Chapter 57: Time Is Ticking
37th Year of the Dawn Era.
June 31st.
I opened my eyes to the warmth of the aurora.
It was still early, before Hilda's arrival for routine cleaning.
Anticipation swirled in my stomach, tickling the empty pangs of hunger that were attempting to burst me from the inside out.
The fascinating mix of pain and tickling kicked my brain awake.
Hopping off the tattered bed, I picked up the crutches and pushed myself into the lockless bathroom. Hilda had removed it after receiving Esme's permission in case of any emergencies that may occur inside.
Not that any will happen, I can keep myself alive just fine.
Of course, that does rely on the condition that no one is attacking me and attempting to murder me; in that case, I'd die with little to no resistance.
I'm weak, after all.
Using the unique footwork, I arrived at the sink and pulled off my mask.
An unhealthily pale face, a disgusting face;
A face I want to crush into smithereens!
...It stared back at me.
No hints of beauty lay in that creature.
Barely restraining the urge to shatter the mirror, I washed my face, hopped over to the bath, quickly gave myself a deep clean, and exited the bathroom.
With my mask secured in place, I glanced around my empty bedroom.
It's cleaner than usual.
Moving over to my desk, I pulled open a drawer with shaky hands, took out a case reminiscent of a vape, and plucked it into my lips after slightly lifting the mask.
I missed my lips a couple of times, my hands wouldn't stop shaking, but it eventually slipped then.
Then, I took a deep breath.
Huffing in the good stuff, I exhaled a plume of translucent, minty smoke.
My limbs began tingling with euphoria, relaxing as the pain gradually receded.
I stopped destroying the room as much soon after taking my first dosage of 'recreational' drugs.
It truly helps.
As much as it may sound like an excuse for this addiction of mine, I do need the drugs.
Even my hands stopped shaking.
With my nerves calm and my body relaxed, I sank into the chair, allowing myself a moment of complete calm.
...Almost complete calm.
Besides the incessant bastards, this morning was relatively quieter and more enjoyable than the others.
Perhaps it's the lack of a certain redhead's ruckus.
But Hilda has drastically improved over the last 5 months, at least in comparison to her initial appearance.
Knock. Knock.
"Little dummy~ Oh? Good morning?" Speak of the devil, Hilda arrived.
"Feeling better?"
Placing her clasped hands behind her back, Hilda walked up to my side, leaned over the chair, and stared into my eyes through the mask.
Her ruby hair hung before me like a waterfall of crimson, of blood.
"Mhm. Better."
"Good! Because guess what~" Pushing her head back, she fluttered a little butterfly dance and plopped her butt on the desk to my left.
Holding an envelope, she presented it to me with both hands.
"Ta-dah! I did it!"
Receiving it, I quickly picked it apart and consumed its contents.
A smile rose on my face. "Good job."
"Hehe~" Proud of herself, Hilda scratched her cheek with an abashed face.
Esme is willing to take me there today.
This was great news.
While it may also be unfortunate that Esme and Lily are coming along, increasing the odds of any exposure from my end; I'm willing to accept that small risk.
I finally latched onto a lead, and I wasn't going to let it slip through my fingers, lost in the murky river lurking beneath the bright waters of this accursed Domain of Light.
The white haze.
Glancing up at the window, towards the back gardens of the mansion, I caught a glimpse of the white haze drifting into the sky, eventually dissipating at a certain height.
What are you?
Licking my lips, "Let's have breakfast, we'll meet with Esme afterwards."
"Okay!"
Hilda hurried out of the room, then a short while later she pulled in a cart filled with my favourite foods-
Wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead, Hilda suddenly pulled out another letter from her pocket, "Little dummy, there's another letter, this one by the head lady maid who weirdly calls herself... Uh... What was it again...?"
Tilting her head, she pondered for a moment, then a light bulb burst above her head-
"Maiden! She called herself 'Maiden'!"
Ba-dump.
Irrational levels of anger surged in my chest, flushing my face red. I tightened my fingers into a balled fist, took a deep breath, then with a shaky breath-
"Pass the letter." My words came out hurried, even after the attempt at consolidating myself.
But I didn't care.
6 months.
It has been 6 months since my last lesson.
6 months since I've seen the Maiden.
So why now?
Why is she contacting me at the precipice of this discovery?
Catching the swing in my mood, Hilda reduced her movement to a minimum and carefully passed the letter over.
Paying her no attention, I carelessly ripped the letter open.
Pulling the paper within out with force, I flipped the folded paper open and sped through it.
But with each word I consumed, the tense nerves within me sparked with flames, as though they were about to burst into a million pieces.
[Creature]
[Time is up.]
[Preparation for Descent must begin.]
[I shall be paying you a visit on the 1st of July at 6 PM. Prepare yourself.]
[Signed, Maiden]
Damn it.
Damn it all.
Six months is all they give me to adjust to my status as a Defiler? Is the First Step of this Cursed path a joke to them?
...No.
I quickly calmed down.
The date and time of the visit have provided me with crucial information.
They are allowing me to investigate St. Neuvae's Clinic one final time before punishment returns. Before the cycle begins once more.
Today and tomorrow.
Two days of freedom.
No matter the cost, for Esme, my precious, lovely sister-
I must pry open this can of worms for good.
The white haze, I must discover its meaning.
I must discover its source.
I must figure out, even if only a portion, the truth behind Flamm's, the source of Flamm's.
"...Um. Little dummy... Is everything okay?"
A warm set of fingers landed on my head, tenderly caressing my scalp and patting my head with hefty care.
...Is everything okay?
She asks me if everything is okay?
Punishment is to come.
Of course, everything is okay.
Isn'tthatrightmother?
Yourprettyeyesalwayswatching.
Howbeautiful.
Howpretty.
Howperfect.
Allwillbeokay.
Right?
88,005,194.
"Let's go." Slamming my crutches into the ground, I hopped up and made my way past Hilda to the doorway.
Hilda kept up with me; she stayed close.
Unlocking the bedroom doors, I swung them open and glanced at her side profile simultaneously, "Follow my orders well today, got it?"
"Okay, little dummy."
Then, I pushed myself past the door's boundary.
And the wind hit me in the face.
Woosh.
Warm wind, and a tickle in my nose from the pollen drifting out of the trees, grass and flowers. The white haze roamed the grounds, hugging my ankles as it brushed by me.
...The back garden.
"But little dummy, why did you bring us here?! We're not allowed here!" She 'shouted' in a quiet manner with a clear sense of dissonance visible between her prior demeanour and her current demeanour.
At this moment, she believes I walked her to these gardens against my mother's permission and the personification of madness.
"Don't worry about it." So I said in a calm voice.
But I was nowhere near 'calm'.
My innards bubbled with molten rage at the Maiden.
Only she would have done this.
Becausemotheralreadygavemepermissiontoleavetoday-
What was I thinking again?
Oh.
Right.
The Maiden.
She did this.
But why?
Is she messing with me?
I glanced around the empty gardens, and not another soul was in sight.
That statement, however, applied to people.
There was something else here.
The white haze.
The thick concentration of it.
...Is the Maiden giving me a clue?
I walked to an open grass patch and sat down. I motioned for Hilda to take a seat a couple of meters away quietly. I doubled down as well, telling her a second time to keep her mouth shut and not make noise
Only after receiving her comic-esque nods did I shift my attention to the white haze.
What do I know about this white haze?
First, consuming it invigorates me and soothes me; it almost feels like a replica of my mother's peace at times.
Second, it's highly concentrated in these restricted back gardens, whereas in the rest of the palace grounds, and especially in Luminary City, it is very difficult to spot.
It's being controlled, funnelled towards this back garden facing the vast lake and distant mountains.
The Mistress and the personification of madness, His Majesty, are the most likely perpetrators of this white haze.
But the Mistress is allowing me to investigate the white haze...
It's the personification of madness.
It's its doing.
That fact came bursting into my brain.
Yes, it's a hypothesis, but I'm almost certain of it.
The Mistress and the personification of madness are at odds. His Majesty wouldn't be encouraging these actions; only the Mistress would.
Does she disapprove of this white haze?
Or does disrupting its plans benefit her?
Or is everything I'm assuming at this moment completely incorrect, and the purpose is to lead me into believing that they are at odds?
Into taking the Mistress' side and acting against the personification of madness-
"..."
I don't know.
There's not enough information.