The Bard is Fantasizing Again

"A... head?"

Tang Qi shrank back his neck.

"Mine?"

"No, of course not."

The 'Skeleton' shook his head, examining everyone present including Melade who was sleeping in the wine barrel, finally fixing his gaze on Catherine.

"I need a sufficiently perfect head."

Catherine's fingers trembled slightly.

In her panic, Tang Qi stepped sideways, blocking her face from view:

"A big head or a small head?"

The 'Skeleton' had expected this deal wouldn't be easily concluded and didn't mind his wariness, instead explaining unprompted:

"I'm attempting to create a 'perfect work of art.' Right now I still need a sufficiently perfect face."

Tang Qi hadn't figured out the 'Skeleton's' background yet, so he followed along with his words:

"How can you be sure her face is perfect? What if there's someone even more perfect? Wouldn't that ruin your artwork?"

"Regular changes and renewals."

"So you were targeting her from the start. But I don't recall ever meeting a skeleton before."

"If I wish, I can see everyone in the forest."

Tang Qi clenched his teeth.

Damn it, was it the fourth-circle spell [Arcane Eye], or some other kind of artifact?

He was actually somewhat curious about the story behind this so-called artwork.

But regardless of what purpose the 'Skeleton' harbored, he couldn't possibly hand Catherine over:

"How about I give you a suggestion? Since you're so intent on pursuing the ultimate, why not separately find those perfect facial features and assemble a 'perfect' face?

Wouldn't that be much easier than finding a head that meets your requirements?"

"I've tried that. But when I pieced them together, I always felt a certain... wrongness.

I think it's because human faces always have flaws. If you want, you can always pick out their faults.

It's just that they grew on imperfect faces, and various imperfections actually created a kind of harmony.

Single-minded assembly only destroys the beauty of first impressions.

So I could only abandon that choice and try to find a head that satisfies me. This took me a very long time.

But fortunately Lady Luck favors me, letting me finally find one, isn't that right?"

"How is it that Lady Luck favors everyone?"

Tang Qi couldn't help but grumble internally.

"Do you all put points into the [Luck] proficiency when leveling up?"

"Of course, you needn't be angry about this, Mr. 'Hero.'

I'm not saying your face isn't perfect enough. Actually your nose bridge is high and straight, your eyes are very beautiful, just your lips are a bit thin—and besides, I need a female."

Catherine could tell the other party had come specifically for her.

Everything in the world has long since had its price determined in mysterious ways.

Beauty is a gift bestowed by heaven.

And it inevitably invites curses.

She had already seen too many people who brought disaster upon themselves because of her appearance.

Even if those people were seeking the possibility of reveling with her in bed.

Catherine certainly wouldn't give anyone that opportunity.

Yet she never imagined that one day someone would covet her 'head' itself.

And Tang Qi understood the 'Skeleton's' grand ambition:

"I see, this 'artwork' should be—a perfect human body, right? Then besides a head, you should also need some other parts. Like a torso, or limbs?"

"Very few people are willing to discuss these things with me like you are."

The 'Skeleton' praised him, his face like a layer of skin, his grinning smile pushing up his cheekbones and hollowing his cheeks.

"I've been secluded in this forest, searching for five years—torso, limbs, hands and feet.

Now I'm only missing a perfect head."

"I'm curious, Dawnmist Forest doesn't seem like a place where people frequently appear. How did you find those parts?"

"I often issue various missions anonymously to the outside of the forest, attracting some adventurers and mercenaries into the forest.

Sometimes I have them find these things for me, sometimes I discover they are the suitable candidates themselves."

Adventurers?

Tang Qi suddenly looked toward Kuru, who was shrinking in the corner, curling up trying to be invisible, seemingly ready to flee at any moment.

Progress—this time he wasn't scared into kneeling on the ground begging for mercy.

He remembered that Kuru's spellbook was plundered from a group of severely wounded adventurers.

Previously he thought those adventurers' tragic state was the work of the orc tribe.

But recalling the orcs' behavior, they always imprisoned captives in cages. Since they were already severely wounded, they shouldn't have been given a chance to escape.

Looking at it now, it might actually be related to this 'Skeleton':

"So it seems... no one has escaped from your hands?"

"Some have, after all sometimes I don't have the energy to complete every task."

"Accomplices?"

"No need to probe me, Mr. 'Hero.' To avoid conflict, I'm happy to be candid with you all—

I'm someone who deals with corpses, and sometimes I can make the dead 'live' again."

A necromancy school mage?

[Animate Dead] is a third-circle spell.

Tang Qi increasingly felt this was troublesome:

"Third-circle casters aren't common. Annihilating an adventuring party wouldn't be difficult for you. Why hide your identity?"

"First, I'm a scholar, not keen on nor skilled at using overly extreme methods. I prefer solving problems with peaceful means.

Second, I have some discernment. If I can quietly take this woman away using only [Polymorph] and [Suggestion], without having to face a high-level fighter.

Why would I expend extra mental energy and go to great lengths?"

He stared intently at Stonecrusher, the only dwarf he deemed worth being wary of, not avoiding his own concerns.

"Finally, disguising as a [Beastfolk] expelled from the village, struggling against bestial nature, makes it more convenient for me to hide in the forest, searching for and taking away suitable targets.

After all, in adventurers' eyes, rational Beastfolk should be secluded in the forest, shouldn't they?"

Tang Qi understood—he was reverse-engineering adventurers' experience to gain trust.

So even Stonecrusher hadn't noticed his abnormality.

"What do you mean by 'peaceful methods'?"

"If the initial plan is exposed, 'trade' is a good choice."

"Would anyone really be willing to sell their own hands?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

The 'Skeleton' asked, puzzled.

"Aren't those magic-infused prosthetic limbs more powerful than their original bodies? On top of that, I can even compensate them with additional money."

The mage before him was so sincere that Tang Qi was somewhat moved:

"Damn, if it's painless, I'd actually think it's quite a good deal."

"Good deal my ass, of course your own body is more comfortable to use! You'd behave if we swapped out your little head."

Stonecrusher dispelled his impractical fantasy.

"But don't you really want to trade for longer legs?" Tang Qi asked curiously.

The Skeleton interrupted first though:

"Dwarf legs have no value to me."

"Fuck you, I'm going to smash that lightbulb on your head right now!"

"Calm down first, I still don't want too much conflict with you all."

Perhaps thinking he'd explained enough, the 'Skeleton' seemed to lose patience for continuing the conversation.

He touched his round head that reflected the firelight.

"I only need that head, the body can be left to you.

I'm willing to pay 5000 gold coins for this."

He maintained his consistent smile, as if doing so would make himself seem harmless.

Tang Qi shook his head:

"What would I do with the body? Could swapping a head somehow let her live?"

"6000."

Tang Qi still shook his head in refusal.

"Any more wouldn't be such a good deal."

The 'Skeleton' seemed to be threatening.

"How about I make a counteroffer?"

Tang Qi suddenly spoke.

"Hey, you foul-mouthed bastard, you're not really thinking—"

Stonecrusher was about to say something, but was interrupted by Tang Qi's wave.

Catherine listened silently to their conversation, suddenly feeling like she was a [Chibi Bird]—

That was a bird Young Master Melade had once mentioned to her.

Because their call was somewhat peculiar, always "chibi, chibi," they got that name.

As an extremely precious ornamental bird species, their feathers were always varied in color, smooth and beautiful.

If you let them play to their hearts' content, when they spread their wings, their developed sweat glands would scatter crystalline light powder, swirling in midair, weaving into a dreamlike and distinctive picture.

Therefore they were deeply beloved by nobles in Longgold City.

This also meant that from the moment they became beautiful, they were locked in exquisite birdcages, easily had their price determined.

Deprived of the freedom to fly.

And no one cared about her thoughts...

"Of course you can."

The necromancer said appreciatively.

"I hope it's an appropriate price."

Tang Qi discreetly signaled Stonecrusher to come closer while sneering:

"I'll give you Wolf's precious wolf head, you take your gold coins and fuck off. How about that?"

The other party chuckled:

"'Wolf' is that hunter's friend, not mine—

Speaking of which, I have to remind you all to keep your movements in the forest as quiet as possible.

In this strange forest, Dire Wolves aren't the only things that exist."

"Hey, I haven't said I agree yet. No need to provide after-sales service so quickly, right? I don't want to be called faithless by a skeleton head."

The 'Skeleton' frowned, asking in confusion:

"Why refuse? It's not your head I need."

Tang Qi gripped Catherine's hand behind him, signaling her to come closer:

"Because I promised a certain scoundrel I'd bring her out safely."

Catherine was startled by this presumptuous action and instinctively wanted to break free.

But she found Tang Qi was gripping tightly, his palm full of cold sweat seeping from nervousness—

After experiencing that old goblin warlock, he actually didn't have much confidence facing a third-circle caster directly.

Realizing this poet was forcing himself to stay calm while keeping his promise.

Catherine hesitated, then chose to stop struggling.

She even gripped his hand tightly, trying to convey some encouragement to him.

She suddenly said:

"You've been chatting here for so long, why doesn't anyone ask my opinion?"

Everyone present, including the 'Skeleton,' looked at her with some surprise.

As if no one thought she, an ordinary person who should be 'protected.'

A Dawnbloom, a canary, could say anything.

Catherine released Anbi and extended her palm toward Tang Qi:

"Give me the knife."

Tang Qi hesitated a bit, but when he met Catherine's eyes, he detected her unusual determination.

In his hesitation, she snatched Snake's Kiss away.

"I thought you had some great reason..."

Raising the curved blade in her hand, she carved a bloody mark diagonally across her entire face.

"Stop—"

The 'Skeleton' cried out in shock, moving forward to stop her, only to find it was irreversible.

That mark flowed with scarlet blood.

It had already destroyed the harmony of Catherine's face—

The stinging pain on her face made her tremble, almost digging her nails into Tang Qi's palm.

But she still raised her proud face, like a [Chibi Bird] trying to break out of its cage and escape its price tag:

"Just a perfect face, right?

Now it's gone."