Ch. 66 - Crow's Mouth
Stonecrusher fell to the ground and hurriedly raised his tower shield in front of him, nearly covering his entire body.
But the expected slash never landed on his shield.
Instead, he heard another verse of song:
"Why don't you just give up? No need to be an iron turtle on the ground!"
Tang Qi had no way to break through Stonecrusher's tower shield.
As long as he kept lying on the ground, maintaining a defensive posture, there was simply no way to drive him out of the designated area.
So there was no point wasting effort and leaving himself open to attack.
He simply moved farther away, singing continuously and taunting without stop:
"Thank your mama for giving you that height, hiding behind your tower shield timid as a ladyboy!"
"I don't think you count as a warrior at all—fighting you doesn't even ignite my fighting spirit!"
"How's it feel to lose to a bard? I bet you're already crying for mommy and daddy!"
A tremendous sense of humiliation surged through his heart.
He clearly knew his opponent was deliberately provoking him, but as his brain was battered dizzy by those bizarre taunts, veins still couldn't help but bulge on Stonecrusher's forehead.
"Shut your damn mouth!"
He moved the shield aside, rolled to his feet, and directly slammed the shield's edge into the ground—
"[Earthquake]!"
Shit!
I pissed him off!
This was a combat technique Tang Qi had never seen before, but the needle-like warning throughout his body made him instantly want nothing more than to flee.
But as a thunderous tremor shook the earth beneath their feet as if it might collapse, Tang Qi discovered he had nowhere to run—this type of area-of-effect attack covering the entire field couldn't miss due to [Vicious Mockery]!
He threw himself as far away as possible, but his cheek was still scraped by flying stones, and his steps faltered, causing him to fall completely to the ground:
"Hey, hey, you damaged the field—that's a foul, a foul!"
But an enraged, heated dwarf wouldn't discuss rules with him.
They hated rules most of all.
A milky white spiritual light flashed in the center of the tower shield, and the scattered dirt and sand seemed swept up by an invisible wind, rolling together in front of the shield.
Tang Qi had a bad feeling and was about to get up and run:
"Then I surrender, surrender—is that okay?"
"Who the fuck told you to surrender!? [Shield Charge]!"
Stonecrusher flicked his wrist, and the impact force violently blasted the sand and stone outward in a fan-shaped spray toward his front.
Tang Qi hadn't expected that a rough and tumble dwarf like Stonecrusher could so flexibly utilize the [Arrow-Catching Shield] with combat techniques.
The gap in combat experience between them was more than considerable.
So much so that [Alertness] rang like a bell, trying to find the safest corner, only to discover there was no way to dodge at all.
With no other choice, he could only curl up with his head covered, letting the flying stones pound against his leather armor.
Fortunately, the forest's stones weren't very large, and his studded leather armor had extremely strong endurance and flexible leather, so he only suffered pain like being pelted with dirt, without actually injuring his skin.
"Got you!"
Stonecrusher laughed loudly and rushed behind Tang Qi, about to kick him in the ass—
Tang Qi quickly sang out:
"You rule-breaking bastard, even winning can't hide your short legs!"
"Thud—"
His brain grew dizzy, Stonecrusher's kick missed, and he fell backward to the ground:
"Damn you!"
He was about to get up and fight again, but Tang Qi absolutely refused to continue sparring.
If he let this dwarf get any more worked up, he'd suffer more than just bruises:
"Stop, stop, stop—know when to quit, okay? You already broke the rules—"
He pointed to the area Kuru had marked out earlier, which had long since been destroyed beyond recognition by Stonecrusher's [Earthquake].
Stonecrusher was unwilling to acknowledge this fact:
"You never said at the start that we couldn't damage the field."
"But without boundaries, how do we determine who wins?"
"You just surrendered, so I win."
"I only surrendered because the field was already completely destroyed."
"You—"
"Then let's call it a draw!"
Tang Qi knew that if this argument continued, it would never end.
"I'll cover your drinks, you help me with something—neither of us loses out."
"You half-assed amateur, what makes you think you can tie with me?"
"It's 'you who didn't use your full strength'—doesn't thinking of it that way make you feel better?"
Stonecrusher blinked and scratched his big beard:
"Hey, damn if that's not true!"
He then pondered a moment,
"So what do you want to ask? Nothing too unreasonable—at most I'll help you chase Catherine, how's that?"
Tang Qi glanced at the unkempt Stonecrusher, thinking to himself that he needed his help picking up girls?
Then asked suspiciously:
"What does this have to do with Catherine?"
"During the three days of travel, when was your head ever off Catherine's lap?"
No matter how little attention Stonecrusher paid, Tang Qi's blatant behavior was impossible to ignore.
But Tang Qi actually had no intention of pursuing anyone.
His purpose was very simple:
"Is it possible that it's because her legs are genuinely very soft?"
"You should really be grateful Black Snake can't hear this anymore."
"..."
The two fell silent for a moment. After a while, Tang Qi shrugged:
"Anyway, I haven't decided what favor yet—I'll keep it on credit."
After all, it was just a spur-of-the-moment wager. Asking him to make a demand on the spot, he really didn't know what to ask for.
"I don't even owe you for drinks." Stonecrusher said dissatisfied.
"Just remember it. If it's too difficult for you, just refuse when the time comes, right?"
That said, Tang Qi figured that as long as he didn't use up this 'wager' for even one day, Stonecrusher would remember it for that extra day.
Dwarves were just built that way.
Seeing he was still somewhat reluctant, Tang Qi simply changed the subject:
"It's settled then. Come on, come on—thanks to your help, I now have a rough idea of what level I'm at. Let me buy you a drink."
They didn't have any real conflict between them anyway, and at the mention of alcohol, the anger from being cursed at earlier faded away.
But Stonecrusher still couldn't help asking:
"But seriously, even though I was holding back, isn't your level improving too fast?
A few days ago, you were still getting kicked out of the tavern by that Jackal bastard, and now you can spar with me?
You know what you're like? A fruit tree ripened by a druid, making it bloom and bear fruit in just a week!"
"After experiencing so much, there's bound to be some progress. Besides, being able to fight like that was all thanks to that spell of mine, wasn't it?"
Some secrets could never be revealed.
Tang Qi vaguely glossed over it.
He also knew that Stonecrusher was carefree, and aside from alcohol, his head simply refused to store anything else—he especially didn't understand bardic spells.
That's why Tang Qi dared to have him help test his abilities.
If it were anyone else, he really wouldn't dare casually display these things.
"True enough."
Stonecrusher rubbed his belly, truly too lazy to care,
"Let's go quick, I used so many combat techniques, my stomach's about to cave in.
Damn it, the energy I burned—some bread won't be enough to recover it..."
"No worries, we made such a big commotion just now, we might attract some wild beasts over, right?"
Tang Qi brushed the dust off his body, about to stand up.
"Arooooo—"
A wolf's howl suddenly echoed through the forest.
"Rua?"
The observing Kuru exchanged glances with the other two, then pointed to the distance through the white fog, where several pitch-black figures lurked.
Stonecrusher listened to his belly rumbling and couldn't help rubbing his temples:
"Bard, can you please shut that crow's mouth of yours in the future?"
Tang Qi couldn't help but say:
"Letting you eat some meat and replenish your energy—isn't that good?
And please, all of you, stop calling 'reasonable analysis of the situation' a crow's mouth, okay!?"