Ch. 60 - Life is Like a Box of Chocolates
Bruto blinked.
Wait—
How was it that he recognized every individual word, but when strung together, he couldn't make sense of them?
So much so that he subconsciously read it again:
"I brought commoners along and captured a noble alive? Impossible, absolutely impossible..."
"How did you get past the construct guardians to reach this place?"
His shock interrupted Geya, causing her to quietly withdraw the notebook in her hand. She tried her best to adjust to a normal state of mind before turning around to question them.
"I, I—"
The rookie Suwen was still stammering, trying to find an excuse.
The seasoned Bruto had already chosen to counterattack first:
"This is a forbidden area personally designated by Dean Ulasan. What exactly are you doing here, sneaking around like this?"
"The Dean asked me to search for traces of the monument's author. How can I confirm his identity without reading the content?"
"So have you confirmed it?"
"That's none of your business. Get out, or I'll have the guards throw you out—and it won't be as simple as just leaving the garden."
Geya was already suppressing her anger.
Bruto knew she cared deeply about her image and rarely looked at others with such openly hostile eyes.
The act of stalking had truly enraged her.
Being a smart man, he quickly pulled Suwen over to try to share the heat, while backing away at the same time:
"What about your notebook then? Is that also part of the Dean's assignment?"
So she had been seen after all.
Geya maintained her composure: "Yes."
"So even if I report this to the Dean, there won't be any problems?"
"..."
The air fell into silence. Geya knew he was threatening her.
"What exactly are you trying to say?"
Bruto let out a sigh of relief and spoke in a more conciliatory tone:
"Hey, listen. I admit I just wanted to catch you in a compromising situation earlier, something that would make you unable to hold your head up in the academy—
But now, I just want to properly read the content on the monument."
This was way more important than catching dirt on someone!
Bruto raised both hands, both surrendering and placating:
"I don't want the Dean to know about this, and I'm sure you don't either. So after we finish reading, you take your notes and I'll go back to my dorm. We'll act like nothing ever happened. How about it?"
"What about you?" Geya looked at Suwen.
"I, I feel the same way."
Suwen had a premonition that after today, Senior Geya might never applaud for him again.
Geya sighed and didn't respond further.
She simply picked up her notebook again and resumed recording the text from the monument.
Bruto hurriedly examined the monument.
Although the Dean had brought in spellcasters to partially conceal the monument, when one approached close enough, that touch of starlight would still flow into one's eyes.
Bruto was too curious.
In the days after being kicked out of the tavern, what exactly had this poet encountered—
[I never imagined that what started as a well-intentioned favor would ultimately brew into such enormous trouble.
But remember my plan to 'pass off inferior goods as quality'?
Before it even started, it had already failed.]
Geya had already read through the text on the monument once, but the earlier interruption had broken her train of thought.
Now, reading it again, she still maintained that initial sense of freshness—
[The feeling of a plan falling through isn't pleasant, especially after being betrayed.
It always gives one that suffocating feeling—like your wife being violated by thugs, you angrily defending her honor, ultimately being sentenced to three years of hard labor, and then leaving prison to find your wife already sleeping with the thug.
My relationship with Black Snake wasn't quite that intimate.
But I still prepared one thousand and one insults in my head, ready to expose him while cursing him until his ears oozed pus and he regretted being born into this world!
But in the end, I still forgave him—
After I realized he had become a prisoner before I did.]
The writing style hadn't changed at all—still that same vulgar, humorous flavor.
Had she been reading his journal for so long that she was no longer so averse to these phrases?
Geya murmured: "But what does this have to do with nobles?"
[...Really, I had originally thought my entire life would pass like this—
Being captured by a bunch of mercenaries and taken to Longgold City, crying and begging the noble lord for forgiveness, using hard labor to atone for my crimes.
Then writing ten thousand songs for that white pig young master who coveted another man's hook—songs like "Confession," somewhere between one and zero in quality.
I certainly didn't want my epitaph to be engraved with the title 'Friend of Male Intimacy' after I died.
That would be absolutely terrible.]
"Hey, how can you be a sexist!? Don't men deserve to enjoy women's pleasures too?"
Bruto was greatly disappointed.
He had thought real wandering poets understood how to enjoy all of life's pleasures.
Just like him.
[But life is like a box of chocolates—you never know what flavor the next piece will be.
Just like how my plan ended before it even began.
Just like how the title 'Friend of Male Intimacy' hadn't yet been confirmed before it was shattered by a horde of orcs, goblins, and giants...]
"Orcs!?"
Suwen exclaimed,
"Longgold City is located in the Lord's Alliance on the eastern coast of the continent. Have the orcs already broken through their southern Great Wall and pushed into the heart of the Alliance?"
Every wandering poet had a rough map of the world in their mind.
Moreover, as subjects of the Terran Empire, they also understood orcs.
These savage, bloodthirsty, stupid greenskins weren't just marching toward the southern Great Wall on the eastern coast.
The Terran Empire on the western coast also faced an equal threat—
Otherwise, Geya wouldn't have been able to accompany Lord Versace to the border and witness firsthand the ugly spectacle of nobles profiteering from war.
Bruto was even more shocked:
"He actually didn't die at the hands of the orcs, and even managed to write a diary?"
[...Fuck your Fireball!
What kind of poet gets ambushed by a third-circle spellcaster while being taken to prison?
If I weren't still hoping that Lady Luck would favor me someday, I would have cursed her as the daughter of a beach long ago!
At least I'm not one of those mediocre types from the Poet's Academy who only know how to kiss nobles' asses. If it were them, they'd probably be singing their funeral dirge to the next life the moment the first volley of arrows fell.
By relying on my awareness of danger, judgment of the situation, and grasp of resources...
Just like that, I successfully helped Black Snake and myself avoid most of the dangers.]
The diary's author hadn't skipped over the process at all, but rather laid it all out in detail.
"Fuck your arrow volleys, goblins, trolls, Fireball...
This is bloody 'tall as a dwarf'!"
The more Bruto read, the more sober he became. The alcohol from his hangover seemed to evaporate along with his preconceptions.
Suwen forcibly supported his own jaw to keep it from dislocating as it gaped open.
Geya suppressed her throbbing emotions, but her fingers gripping the pen couldn't help but tremble.
"He actually survived all these dangers?"
Without using flowery rhetoric to embellish everything that happened, the entire process read like a plain narration.
But Bruto, Suwen, and even Geya couldn't help but be drawn in by this experience.
They didn't even mind anymore that the diary's owner was blatantly insulting all three of them as academy poets.
They understood—they could never write passages like this—
Because no one had experienced it!
Having never left the academy, they didn't even know trolls could grow a second head!
The overly bizarre developments forced them to be unable to tear their eyes away—
[If Black Snake hadn't refused to follow my commands at the start, we could have escaped even faster.
But no one can guarantee that the path they choose in that kind of situation is definitely the right one.
I can't either.
But at least we reclaimed Snake's Kiss, found Kuru who was finishing off enemies, and everything was moving in a better direction, right...]
"So, did they escape the pursuit after that?"
Geya was so tense she even forgot to take notes.
[Fuck your chocolates—
Why does the next piece taste like Fear?]