320 Possessive
“Grrmmgh.” Nausea and dizziness disoriented Titanyana before she had the opportunity to open her eyes. A prickly numbness assaulted her left arm like a thousand needles tapping on her skin, but she did nothing to stop it. She wanted to, she really did, but a drowsy voice in the back of her head told her she would puke if she moved.
Besides, for all the discomfort of her current situation, she was quite cozy. Aside from the arm pinned to numbness beneath her the position was comfortable, her blanket was neatly wrapped around her, and the warmth at her back was incredibly relaxing. It wasn’t often she got the opportunity to bask in such comfort, and if her gut was telling her to stay put anyways she wasn’t about to ruin it.
Her only real concern at this point was what happened the night prior. She vaguely remembered dragging back the Brists and Tillet with the party, and then a brief wash in the stream before the celebratory feast to appear presentable, but beyond that it was a blur. The lingering odor of smoke on her person informed her she hadn’t changed clothes or washed after her time around the bonfire, but she didn’t remember doing so at all.
She must have gotten drunk.
The grandmasters would have offered her a small cup of alcohol each over the course of the night, and she probably wouldn’t have deferred even if on the brink of a blackout. The stuff they brought along was relatively low proof though, something that wouldn’t get a watchman drunk if he decided to slam the whole bottle, a ceremonial wine meant to taste good. Titanyana recognized the problem even through the haze, she was small. One cup for her would have been the equivalent of two for her father.
Now she wanted to know if she conducted herself well. If she ended up causing an incident and looked bad in front of Donovan, she didn’t know what she would do with herself. Unfortunately she wasn’t really in a position to get up and ask at the moment, what with her hangover and all.
“Mrrrrrgh.” One eye opened up slowly, her monumental effort greeted with a blurry mache of tans, browns, and greens. Given the level of light, the sun had likely risen above the treetops some time ago. It was definitely nice to know she was in her tent though, at least she made it that far.
Part of her wondered where Donovan and Diana were sleeping though. Well, at this point in time Donovan was going to be up and moving, but she didn’t recall their tent amidst the blur of last night - not that they would have entered one during the festivities. She was going to have to ask him what went down last night anyways, so better he be up and clear headed to explain it to her. To do that she’d need to get up though, no matter how much she’d prefer not to.
Her first goal would be to free the pinned arm.
“Good morning.” The haze around Titanyana’s mind cleared in an instant.
“G-good morning!” Only now was she realizing the odd consistency of her pillow, which was both firmer and warmer than any she remembered having. It was a familiar sensation though.
“Are you feeling alright? You had quite a bit to drink last night.”
Suspicions confirmed, Titanyana only held back a sigh because she felt it might make her puke. A hangover and nervous fit weren’t the best for her stomach.
“. . . queasy.” Her moment of clarity faded almost as fast as it came, replaced by a nausea more crushing than the last.
“Don’t push yourself then. I've not dealt with many hangovers, however I hear the worst thing you can do is get up and move around." How convenient, her first choice was indeed the correct one. "I'd get up and bring you some bread and water to help if I could, but uh . . . Diana's not gonna be moving soon. She seems to be in the same boat."
Great, so she'd shared a bed with not one but two people. It was going to happen eventually, that much wasn't in question given Diana's enthusiasm, Titanyana just wanted to give her people a bit more time to come to terms with this type of relationship before making a move.
"We didn't do anything, um . . ." She couldn't say it. The throbbing in her skull combined with the embarrassment to halt all efforts towards such a sensitive question.
"Nothing inappropriate. Diana and I turned in earlier than you did, you just stumbled in and collapsed next to me after Diana fell asleep. I didn't want to wake her, so I thought it fine to lend you my arm for the night." She sighed in relief. This would event would only be a personal embarrassment, not a slight on her reputation. "Besides, we'll have to sleep together at some point anyways. It shouldn't be too odd to see us cohabitating."
"I'm sorry." Titanyana felt the need to apologize. If she had better control over herself he might not have been placed in this situation.
"Don't be. I am both your superior and prospective partner. As a partner I will need to deal with this much eventually, and as a superior I possess the authority to dismiss such ignorant criticisms." Donovan's arm pulled her closer, the pressure easing her pain. "If they have a problem, they can take it up with me."
Titanyana inhaled deeply, holding her breath for a second or two before releasing it in a long sigh. The arm wrapped around her was comfortable, and she gripped it tightly to ensure it remained in place. Despite its apparent firmness and strength, she couldn't help but feel it was an ephemeral and transient thing, like it wouldn't be there when next she expected it.
". . . why are you so accommodating?" The question escaped her lips before she recognized what it asked. Even once she did, it didn't make her wince. This was something she wanted to know, even if the answer wasn't something she was going like.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Why are you suddenly so open with me? So willing to step in for me or give me what I want?" She rubbed her cheek on his bicep. "It felt like I wasn't able to get through to you for the longest time, like every one of my requests needed to be cautiously packaged and presented to avoid rejection. Having you give me what I want with such ease, without even needing to ask . . . I just feel like I'm stuck in a dream, a facade of what reality should be. I'm afraid I'll lose you just as quickly as I managed to grab hold of you."
"Hmm. I'm not sure how to answer that." Titanyana's heart sank a little. Even if she wouldn't like the answer, she wanted something more than nothing. The unease and suspicion was straining her mentally. "Though, I suppose that might be because I don't know where this is coming from. Have I ever rejected you for something that wasn't absurd?"
"Pardon?"
"When have I said 'no' without proper reason? Have I been distant or cold to you without purpose? Done something to make you think you'll be abandoned?"
"I, uh, I don't know?" Even if she never pushed the envelope, Titanyana could not recall a time Donovan had been 'unreasonable' with her. The worst had been when he performed a wrestling move on her, but that was sparring - and he had been incredibly concerned afterwards.
"Pardon me for playing the psychologist, I know it isn't something I'm cut out for, but I think you might have some trauma regarding loss. Obvious deduction, I know, yet it seems like you just can't imagine being able to keep something - someone - forever. I get why, you've already lost most of what you cherish, so I think you need to understand something. I don't belong to you -" She felt him turn his head towards her, breath tickling the back of her ear. "- you belong to me."
As shocked as she was flustered, Titanyana's body temperature rose despite the chills running down her spine. As a Strapper she wasn't supposed to express joy at being subordinated to another, but as the person proclaiming subjugation was her mate . . . she couldn't help it.
"I've done my fair share of contemplation ever since you pronounced your love for me, and I think I've come to an answer as to why I reacted the way I did. You might not like it, but to me you are just as much an asset as you are an individual. Something to use and derive value from, but also care for and maintain. Unique, invaluable, irreplaceable - the moment you kissed me was the moment I realized what you meant to me as a person. You may be a lesser priority when measured against Diana, but the two of you are nigh identical in situation. Both of you offer opportunities I would regret missing, are in need of something only I can provide, and cannot accept someone else as your partner."
She shuddered, hugging his arm tighter and tighter as he continued. Objectifying as his speech sounded, he did not come off as denigrating. Donovan was simply stating the facts of their relationship in an aggressive manner. They needed him both for protection and reproduction, he needed the talent and resources they offered to accomplish their shared objectives.
"So don't worry about me leaving you, Titanyana. It may take time for us to become comfortable with each other romantically, enough to even have a conversation about children, but I will never abandon you the way I might a failed project. You belong to me, and I take care of my possessions, understand?"
Titanyana squirmed in his grip, tail thrashing in the tiny gap between the arch of her back and the side of his abdomen. It was only once she started breathing heavily that she realized she had been 'activated', which embarrassed her greatly. As much as she wanted to indulge in her fantasies, she didn't feel comfortable doing so with Diana present. Even if she did, Titanyana would have only sought to bask in Donovan's warmth until her hangover subsided.
"I-I need to get up."
- - - - -
Donovan watched Titanyana stumble out of the tent from his position on the cot, arm now free to stroke Diana's head - who was likely in a similar situation to Titanyana given her consumption of liquor. Closing his eyes after she left, he kept track of her by way of Split. If he was going to teach her how to utilize this skill, he would first need to figure out how to teach her.
"Would you like some water?" Donovan squeezed Diana's rump once he was confident Titanyana wouldn't be returning, earning him a surprised gasp.
"When did you figure out I was awake?"
"About five minutes before Titanyana woke up. Your breathing is different when you sleep." Diana groaned in annoyance before slithering up on top of him. Chest to chest, she fished for kisses with closed eyes. "How's your head?"
"Blegh."
"Guess you should have listened to me then."
"Mmm, but it was such a unique flavor, and I thought we were immune to poison."
"I think the wording was that we wouldn't die to poison, not that we would be unaffected. I'm pretty sure our bodies still have to process the compounds naturally, remember my incident with the caffeine?" He said that, but Donovan also thought they would be spared the effects of something mundane like alcohol. The assumption was smashed the moment he noticed Diana getting plastered, not that it mattered much to him. Alcohol just didn't taste right. "Do you want a glass of water?"
"You are a better panacea." She nuzzled her head beneath his chin. "When did you become such a Casanova?"
"How do you mean?"
"That little speech of yours . . . if I wasn't feeling like shit we might have been leaving with a broken cot."
"How lewd."
"That's me, your lewd little possession." She giggled, content with her teasing even if she couldn't see his reaction. "Aren't you going to take care of me? Like you do all your other possessions?"
"That depends, what care do you require?"
"A baby."
"Unfortunately I don't feel equipped to handle the additional administrative burden quite yet. Try again."
"Hmm, then how about we get married? I think a year of, ahem, cohabitation is enough to earn me a ring, right?"
". . . I'll see what I can do." Though they referred to themselves as engaged at many points in conversations prior, this was more a formality than reality - Donovan had yet to propose. He hadn't forgotten, every so often he pondered the pair of boxes containing the rings Doctor Helmsguard acquired for him, he just couldn't think of a good time to drop down to a knee.
They were busy, too busy, and even their occasional date did not feel a proper time to pull the trigger. As unusually innocent as it sound for someone like Donovan, he wanted his proposal to be special to Diana. This was a once in a lifetime event for her, something she would remember for the rest of her life, and to have it marred by the stress of work or a sudden interruption would leave a bad taste in her mouth. If he was to propose, the location needed to be exceptional, and they would need at least a night to allow her high to abate naturally. A twelve hour window in a 'perfect' place.
That was a surprisingly tough ask for him. The twelve hour would be workable - he could deal with things in advance and bear the brunt of a temporarily increased workload - but the locale was a different matter. He wasn't one for aesthetics, and he didn't know what she wanted. He thought a proposal in a forest or somewhere in nature would have been nice, but given the disdain she developed for camping here on Nekh that wasn't an option. Part of him wondered if there was a city somewhere that resembled more of a fairy tale work of art than an urban hellscape, however he didn't feel like that would be right for her either. He was selfish, and possessed a pride for their people he couldn't abandon. Donovan didn't want this memory of hers to be tainted by someone else's work - if they were to be engaged in a city-scape it would be a Terran city-scape.
"I wuv you."
"I love you too." Donovan began to massage Diana's back, gently craning his neck forward to give a kiss on her head as she began to slumber once more.