All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!

[Protagonist's POV]

It split in half, dropping—

"…"

"…"

Feeling her rage spike, I counted—one, two, three—and plugged my ears—

"That damn bastard!!!!"

Her furious scream echoed, clutching a broken—fake—sword—

"C-Calm down—deep breaths…"

"Calm?! He played me! Knew I'd obsess over this—argh!!"

Bang! Bang! Bang!

She pulverized the wall with the broken hilt—I shut up, avoiding becoming the wall—

People need to vent sometimes—

Not fear—definitely not—

Mhm.

Clang! Clang!

Ten minutes of backpedaling and watching her rage—

"…Phew. Finally calmed down."

She wiped her brow, looking relieved—

"…Sure you're calm?"

"Yeah… my fault for missing such an obvious trap. He knew I'd lose it seeing 'my sword'—but think about it, no way it'd be here. It's too precious."

"That precious?"

It looked special, but I don't get swords—

In wuxia, aren't they just sharper, rust-proof, durable?

At her level, does a weapon even matter?

I'd figured it was sentimental—but seems there's more—

"Yeah. Simply put… it amplifies my power. A gift straight from the Heavenly Gods."

"Oh…"

Saintess perks—divine sword included—

'…Holy sword? That's more hero than saintess, right?'

A fleeting thought—her role as their vessel explained it—no nitpicking needed—

"But how'd you lose it…"

"Yeah! I was dumb—got stolen! Took ten years to find it—this fake!"

"…Right."

Shouldn't have asked—my loss—

Seeing me wince, she sighed, tossing the halved blade—

"Forget it. It'll be at the end—let's keep going. Not far now, right?"

"…Uh, one question…"

"What?"

"Is that gold real?"

I pointed at the nuggets with the sword—

Gleaming even in the dim ruin—

Gulp.

My eyes hadn't left them—

Sell that—how much would it fetch?

Too heavy? Convert to points—still a haul—

Gold coins work, so nuggets should—

'Booze… fancy food… a big, safe house…'

Imagining lounging on a gold pile, I mentally ticked off my bucket list—

My heart pounded—

"…That's what you're curious about?"

"Money's important!"

"Haa… hold on, I'll check."

She approached the pit, lifted a nugget, weighed it—

My hopes drowned fast—

"Plated."

"What?!"

"Not real gold—the kind you love."

"Ohh…"

Thud.

Deflated, my legs gave out—I sank—

"What—that disappointed?"

"Most gold I've ever seen…"

"Hm… expecting too much might disappoint you more."

"Huh?"

Her ominous words jerked my head up—

'More surprises…?'

Her next line—

"The Divine Thief… didn't steal much physical loot."

Shattered my gold-mountain dreams—

"W-Why?! Didn't you say he stole tons?!"

"Dunno—heard him say stealing plain cash is just petty theft. Told you—he's a freak. A thief fussing over that?"

A thief with principles?

Speechless—absurd—

"Still a Divine Thief, so there's some wealth—but not what you're dreaming. Plenty of sect treasures and manuals—sell those…"

"I'd get hunted, right?"

"You catch on quick."

"…Haa."

My main goal was redirecting rumors—but this is the Divine Thief's stash—famous—I'd hoped big—

Dungeon loot's every guy's fantasy—

"Need cash? Ask me—or Dang Ayeong, your rich roommate. She'd hand over whatever you want—why worry?"

"That's different…"

Drained, I unfolded the map—

This slog was nearly done—

Rough guess—

'Sleep today… arrive tomorrow.'

Tomorrow, we'd hit the treasure—then just backtrack—

Nothing should pop up—

'Maybe a pill to fix my dantian…'

Divine Thief's stash—could be—hope lingered as I folded the map and pressed on—

++++

[??? POV]

—Slice slice

"No, no, Flora—that's not it. You don't hold a knife like that—here's how it's done."

Barustein chided Geomhwa, who was cutting steak across the table.

"…Doesn't it just need to get cut?"

"Not at all. That results-only mindset is for crude louts. Now that you've taken my blood and become a vampire, this is one thing I won't compromise on—not even me. For a noble, table manners are a second heart. Fail to uphold them, and you're unfit to be a vampire!"

—Point!

Barustein jabbed a slender finger at her.

Geomhwa inwardly sighed—I didn't ask to be a vampire—but adjusted her grip as instructed anyway.

To her, this black, oddly shaped thing was utterly baffling—some incomprehensible sword.

A blade just for slicing meat elegantly?

'Pure luxury.'

—Shhk

The steak parted smoothly under her knife.

Unfamiliar shape or not—it was still a blade.

Mastering it came quick.

"There we go—finally presentable. Still rough spots, but leagues better than before."

"Do I really have to stick to this?"

"Manners Maketh Man. Manners make the person—think of it as courtesy."

"…Courtesy?"

Slicing undercooked, bloody meat with a palm-sized blade and popping it in your mouth gracefully—that's courtesy?

Must be an exhausting world—wherever it was.

"You're perfect otherwise, but growing up in this world means there's a lot to learn—slightly irksome. Can't be helped, I suppose, raised in this primitive place."

"…"

Words that could sting—but Geomhwa, used to Barustein's jabs after living with her, stayed blank-faced.

Besides, she had no love left for this world.

If Barustein had insulted Yuseong, though—that'd be different.

"So, no complaints lately? Speak up if there are—I like you. It's fun to mold—"

—Bang!

"Lady Barustein! Urgent message from Carmen—"

"Who said it's fine to interrupt my meal?"

"Guhk!"

The man bursting in, scroll in hand, collapsed spewing blood.

"You should know—I despise having my meals disturbed."

"Ghk… ghrrk… I've committed a mortal—"

"Who decided it's a mortal sin? Your life's mine—don't weigh my property with your guilt."

"Grrrk…"

A cold, merciless side—unlike the gentle demeanor she'd shown Geomhwa before—

Silently, Geomhwa kept slicing her steak, slipping it into her mouth.

Weird at first—but it grew on her.

"…Well, I'm in a good mood today, so I'll let it slide. Consider yourself lucky."

"Cough… hack… th-thank you…"

"Right—what's the news this time…"

—Rustle

Barustein didn't bother helping the man up—just snatched the scroll and unfurled it herself.

How long did she read in silence?

"Pfft… hahaha!"

She burst out laughing—

"Entertaining—very entertaining… Oh, I've been laughing alone—curious about this letter, are you?"

"…Not really."

"No need to hold back—just a fun tale. About ten of my carefully groomed pawns turning to blood paste—nothing much."

"…?"

"Haa—yes, this is worthy of bearing the name 'demon.' Hilarious."

Whether she cared about Geomhwa's disinterest or not, Barustein launched into her explanation—

"No wonder that wench who summoned me freaked out trying to stop it—didn't expect a total wipeout, though. Guess she's not this world's demon king for nothing."

'Demon king…?'

A beat of confusion—then it clicked—

The King of Demons—who else could that be?

Ask anyone with basic sense—they'd all name one person—

'They provoked the Demon Cult?'

One figure sprang to mind—someone her master had mentioned now and then—

[If the Blood Cult hadn't self-destructed by picking a fight with the Demon Cult… the Central Plains might've fallen into their hands already. Course, I wouldn't have been around then either.]

Living here, she'd learned the Blood Cult of twenty years ago and today's were the same in name only—practically different beasts—

Back then, remnants stumbled across dimensions, summoning Barustein—then she hijacked the hollow shell, stuffing it with her minions—

If it were still the old Blood Cult, they wouldn't be mad enough to repeat history—wrecked by the Demon Cult once, then poking it again—

"Say, do you know her? Seems they call her the Heavenly Demon here."

"…Just that she's insanely strong."

"Even you've heard of her—must be famous. Still, a mere human can't compare to His greatness."

No need to mention her master was at that battle—or spent his life prepping for the Heavenly Demon's return—

Pointless detail—

"…You okay, though? Didn't you lose your men?"

Her mood seemed too chipper for losing subordinates—he spoke up—

Partly to shift the topic—

Some woman unrelated to Yuseong—whether she conquered the Central Plains or rotted in the Demon Cult—none of her business—

"Ha—are you asking if I'm okay?"

Barustein smirked, lips curling—

"A war to swallow a world—ten losses in a skirmish is cheap. Soldiers' lives in war? Just numbers—not people, not souls. Blades, guns, bullets—nothing more, nothing less."

"…"

"Oh, right—you wouldn't know guns or bullets. Think bows and arrows—no difference."

Purpose above all—others' lives meaningless—nothing mattered but her goal—

Somehow, watching her, she reminded him of himself—

Though her cruelty outstripped his by a mile—

"Victory's all that counts—how many allies survive doesn't matter. My life's mission—my existence—is preparing this land for His great descent. If that's achieved, I'd be content even if my body and soul ground to dust."

"…Can I ask one thing?"

"What?"

"To you… what's this 'great one'?"

Living with her, he'd seen plenty—

Kind to him—saying she liked him—but her so-called "property" vampires? Treated like tools—

No hesitation punishing even loyal ones if they crossed her—ruthless—

Worth learning from—

"My creator. My everything. Need more?"

Especially if that came from devotion to one being—

++++

"So—I've been wondering—how'd you cross to this world?"

"Hm?"

"Heard the Blood Cult summoned you—but is hopping dimensions that easy?"

"No chance. Dimension-crossing magic—then and now—is the toughest, most resource-heavy field. It's built on cracking the dimensional barrier—keeping what's in from getting out, and what's out from getting in. Easy? Hardly. Honestly, I still wonder how this backward world's tricks pulled me through—call it a miracle for now. Why ask—into other dimensions yourself?"

"…Just wondered if I could take Yuseong and live in another world—just us."

"Oh?"

"This one's… kinda dangerous."

First, she'd snatch Yuseong from his master—but that wouldn't end it—

So much left to do with Yuseong—eat good food, see great sights, raise kids—

But this world was too risky for that—

Too perilous for frail, soft-hearted Yuseong—

Learning of other worlds sparked the thought—

Cross over with Yuseong—no Martial Alliance hounding them—

Maybe Yuseong'd feel closer to her—same-world roots—

"Pfft—you're something else, you know? Thinking of dimension-hopping for one guy—never get tired of it."

"…"

"Pff—ignorance-born bravado, sure—but I can't help laughing. It's not as simple as you think—drop it. Ever wonder why goddesses in my world pick local heroes? Calling someone from another dimension's sheer madness—even gods don't mess with it lightly."

'A miracle, huh…'

Sighing inwardly, she let the fleeting hope sink—

First things first—get Yuseong back—

A miracle let the Blood Cult summon Barustein—her vassals followed, reviving the Blood Cult anew—and her too—

One miracle's ripple—

Whoever allowed it—she was damn grateful—

It let her know Yuseong was caught in his master's claws—

Couldn't save him yet—

—Grip

'…Wait a little.'

Picturing Yuseong, she gripped her sword again—

Unlike her master—

++++