All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!

[Protagonist's POV]

"Oh, it's buried underground…"

Crash crash crash!!!!!

Yeo Socheon swung her sword, and a blue bolt of lightning smashed down, cratering the ground around us—

A single swing creating a crater—

I'd heard of it, but seeing it firsthand—a surreal sight—left me gaping, speechless—

"Uh, h-hey…"

"Oh, not out yet. One more!"

Boom boom boom!!!!!

A blinding blue flash struck again—

Followed by an ear-ringing roar—

The pit doubled in size—

"Ah, looks like that's the entrance. Let's go!"

While I stammered, Yeo Socheon strode toward a suspicious structure revealed in the hole—

Snapping out of it, I followed, catching her back—her ears oddly red—

Embarrassing hiccup aside, we'd made it this far—

"You sure you know the way?"

"If the heavenly signs I read were recorded right."

Before I knew it, we were bickering as usual—

Neither of us mentioned it, but we acted like that earlier mess never happened—

"Well, the signs can't be wrong, but you're the one reading them—so I'm a bit skeptical. What if you misread and we trip some trap?"

"You've got your protective aura—won't that save you?"

"Of course. That bastard might've made this, but I didn't train this hard to fall to some ruin's trap."

"Right. Must've trained ages."

"…That sounded barbed."

"Your imagination. Oh, trap ahead."

I brushed her off, stepping forward to disarm the trap I'd gleaned from the signs—

'So… press a switch inside the wall here…'

But here's the snag—

I found the hidden switch, but it was too far—

A trap you just press to disable—but my arm was too short—

"…Haa."

"What? Problem?"

"The switch… I need to press it, but I can't reach."

"Ugh, figures with you. Move."

Hearing me, Yeo Socheon stepped up, sliding her arm into the wall—

Sure, she's taller—by a measly 1-2 cm—

But her arm length…

"…Ngh…"

Same deal—couldn't reach—

Her face flushed as she pressed herself against the wall, stretching—my own cheeks heated watching—

I'd teased her for being short, but—

'…Definitely an adult. Hm.'

Those curves squished against the wall—no one'd argue she wasn't grown—

Just less obvious with her height—

'…'

Staring brought back that earlier incident—I shook my head—

Meanwhile, she still struggled, grunting—

Seeing her—the usual bickering partner—flail like that sparked a weird satisfaction—

A camaraderie from both failing, maybe—

And her acting all-capable, only to flounder, drew a smirk—

'Reach looks impossible—should've just used her sword…'

Click.

"Oh. Got it."

"Wait—cheated, didn't you?"

I grabbed her shoulder—

"W-What! I reached it fair and square!"

"You used telekinesis! I saw it—that's beyond your arm!"

"D-Don't frame me! Why'd I use that for this?! And how'd you know my arm length—measured it?!"

"Ugh…"

She had me there—

I hadn't measured her arm—

But I couldn't back down—

"Then let's measure now! Hand out!"

"…Huh?"

It might seem petty, but for short folks, it's a big deal—

A subconscious 'I'm at least taller than you' rivalry—

"H-Ha! Pathetic! Lost at height, so you're grasping at arm length for comfort?"

"If I lose height, I'll win this!"

"Hmph! Fine—measure up and face reality."

She covered her mouth with one hand, extending the other—

A delicate hand, fitting her looks—

'First, hand size…'

I spread her palm, pressing mine against it—

Both of us had small hands, but the result—

"My hand's bigger!"

"N-No way! Again!"

"Same result—I'm slightly bigger!"

Surprisingly (?), I won—

By a hair, but a win's a win—patching up my battered male pride—

She was the first woman here with hands smaller than mine—

I hadn't measured others, but "long or short, you compare" only works with close gaps—

Some things you just know—

"N-No way…"

Losing hand size hit her hard—she swayed—

But I got it—same boat, same pride—

"Hm. Man, after all."

"…Can't even perform like one."

A whisper—so quiet I shouldn't have caught it—yet it pierced clear—

Coughing internally, I thrust my hand out like I'd heard nothing—

"Guess my arm's longer too. Let's compare."

"…I used it."

"Huh?"

"Telekinesis—I used it! So let's drop it!"

"Still gotta finish measuring."

"I-I don't think it's necess—"

"Gotcha."

I snatched her retreating hand, locking fingers so she couldn't escape—

She froze, mid-struggle—

Raising her arm to measure—

"W-What are you doing!"

Smack!

"Ow."

She swatted my hand off with a bit of force—

"E-Even if we're close, you don't grab a lady's hand like that!"

"…Now you care?"

"A-Anyway! I'll concede—just move on! We've got a ways to go!"

She stormed ahead, fast—

"Hey, wait, one more trap—"

Crunch! Crunch!

Boom!

Slash!

"…Was there."

The traps turned to splinters in seconds—

Then it hit me—

The woman before me—one of the righteous faction's top masters—a monster beyond human—

And I'd just teased that—

"…Uh."

Feeling an apology was due, I started to bow—

"What're you doing? Hurry up—don't lag!"

She glanced back, urging me—our eyes met—

Her cheeks seemed red—

"Oh, got it."

Taking it as forgiveness, I followed, wiping sweat from my brow with my sleeve—

Underground heat, maybe—

We kept disarming traps, pressing on—

Even knowing the paths via heavenly signs, this was the Divine Thief's stash—a master who roamed the Central Plains like his backyard—

Its scale was unreal—

Mazes, countless traps—exploring this normally? Months, maybe a year—

Lucky for us, we took the fastest, least-trapped route—two, three days tops—

Still, building this with this era's tech? Mind-boggling—

"What was the Divine Thief?"

Natural question—

Even seeing martial miracles, a human crafting this without machines felt insane—

He'd need martial-trained laborers, right?

"What was that bastard?"

"Yeah—judging by this place, not ordinary…"

"…A freak. Totally unpredictable."

Her teeth ground—still bitter about him—

"Like he had a grudge, he was extra nasty to me—teased me constantly. Others did too, but he was vicious."

"Not that old, huh?"

"No clue—always masked. Don't even know the gender. Actions, speech—maybe male… or not."

"…Hm."

A faceless, genderless Divine Thief—

Felt oddly relatable—

I'd once considered hiding my gender for mystique—until rumors of a "peerless beauty" under my cloak freaked me out, and I started shouting "I'm a guy" everywhere—

Hiding for safety, not danger—

"Shady as hell, sure—but we needed every hand back then. Rarely fought upfront, but helped plenty—snagging enemy secrets, stealing ritual stuff. Damn good thief."

"Not called 'Divine' for nothing."

"'Divine' isn't tossed around lightly. Oh, and after the Heavenly Demon pulped the Blood Cult Leader, he moved first—while we froze, he rifled through the shapeless corpse and took their relic."

"Oh—the thing here?"

"Yeah. And the next day… you can guess, right?"

"…Ah."