All My Murim Noonas Are Obsessed With Me!

[Protagonist's POV]

Dakak dakak.

I'd gotten so used to riding the carriage that the aches I used to feel had mostly faded by now.

Inside the carriage, with just Yeo Socheon and me—

"…What are you doing?"

"Making embroidery."

I was working on the embroidery kit Dang Ayeong had packed for me.

It wasn't like I had a knack for crafts—it was just something to kill time. But—

Swish swish.

'It's kind of calming…'

Watching the piece slowly take shape gave me an odd sense of pride.

"What kind of man does that? Even if you're surrounded by tough women, you're still a guy, right?"

"That's gender discrimination."

"…Well, it kinda suits you, I guess. You don't exactly look manly anyway."

"…Not the kind of compliment I'm thrilled about."

I sighed at Yeo Socheon's jab, but the sad truth was I couldn't deny it.

My looks weren't exactly rugged.

"It's because my growth stopped… If I'd fully matured, I'd have a masculine face…"

"…I don't think so. Your natural frame's so frail—muscles or not, it wouldn't change much."

"Ugh…"

Her fact-bomb hit hard.

Sure, people change as they grow, but there's a baseline.

Even at my peak, how far could this body go?

Probably just shy of Dang Ayeong's level, at best.

Grumble grumble.

"So what? Height isn't everything in this world."

I pouted and went back to my stitching, when a realization hit me.

"But you're not exactly in a position to judge me, are you?"

"Huh?"

"The whole 'growth stopping' thing—we're in the same boat…"

Shing.

"…I'll shut up."

She'd started it, but I wasn't allowed a single comeback.

I knew she was touchy about her height, but still.

"Hmph. I'll let it slide this once. Bring it up again, and I'll snitch to the Sword Empress."

"Sorry… sorry…"

"Don't forget I've got dirt on you."

One wrong word nearly sent me to the afterlife.

'I've got to deal with the Sword Empress somehow…'

I was painfully feeling the consequences of a single reckless romp.

Dang Ayeong's situation had a glimmer of hope thanks to Yeo Socheon, but the Sword Empress was a different beast.

I couldn't shock her into submission like I had with Dang Ayeong.

How many people in the Central Plains could outmatch her in raw power?

Even in this vast land, they'd be a handful—maybe none at all.

'Oh.'

One name did come to mind.

The Heavenly Demon.

The Sword Empress herself had said she'd felt an overwhelming gap in strength back then—a sense of helplessness. So the Heavenly Demon might fit the bill.

But pitting her against the Heavenly Demon to fix my juggling mess?

That was insane.

A lustful fiend, not just a seducer—a demonic overlord driving people to ruin.

If that happened, it wouldn't end with a simple duel—win or lose, it'd spark a war.

They say this Heavenly Demon's peaceful, so why poke that bear?

And I didn't have the clout to drag the Heavenly Demon Cult's leader into my petty drama anyway.

'…Speaking of which…'

Glance.

Someone was right in front of me.

A woman who knew an uncanny amount about the world.

"…What're you staring at?"

"I've got a question."

"…This feels ominous, but go ahead."

"What's the Heavenly Demon like?"

Flinch.

The moment the name dropped, Yeo Socheon froze.

Was she that dangerous?

"…Why her, all of a sudden?"

Her expression soured—part irritation, part fear, maybe.

I couldn't pin it down exactly, but it wasn't a happy look.

"No reason, just curious. You've probably seen her yourself, right?"

"…No. Don't bring her up if you can help it. Actually, don't even think about her."

'What kind of person is she…?'

From rumors alone, I'd thought she was peaceful for a Heavenly Demon—no martial world invasions or anything. But maybe not.

Not if Yeo Socheon reacted like this.

"If that monster holed up in the cult steps into the Central Plains… we can't handle it. With the half-dead corpses already stirring trouble, she's too big a wildcard. Better to leave her alone and not provoke her."

She called vampires "half-dead corpses" and "maggots," but "monster" for the Heavenly Demon? Her strength was beyond my imagination.

'Just how powerful is she?'

My curiosity spiked, but Yeo Socheon's reaction shut down any further questions.

I decided I'd rather never cross paths with her.

If we did meet, it'd mean either I went to her or she came to me—neither of which I'd welcome.

++++

"Master, come to think of it, you don't wear makeup, do you?"

A random question I'd asked one day.

Sure, we rarely went out, and it was just the two of us—why bother? But still, I hadn't seen a single cosmetic around, so I'd asked.

Her answer was pure Master.

"Why would I, when I'm perfect without it?"

Arrogant as hell, but it left me speechless.

"Come on, you're my disciple—tell me. Is there a flaw in your master's looks that needs hiding with makeup?"

"…No."

"Good. Glad that's settled."

"But you're not even shy saying that yourself?"

"They say pride's a sin to guard against, but it's only pride if the unworthy boast without knowing their limits. This is justified confidence—I've earned it."

"Yes, yes…"

I regretted asking—got nothing out of it—and went back to sweeping the dust off the floor.

"And you don't need makeup either, so don't point fingers."

"What's a guy need makeup for?"

"You don't get it. Grooming isn't just for women."

"Pass. I don't even want to picture that."

Imagining guys primping in mirrors turned my stomach.

"Forgot who said you looked like a brick dropped from a rooftop, huh?"

"That was just to loosen you up—you were so guarded back then."

"Would you warm up easily to someone who just dragged you in and said we'd share a blanket because there's only one?"

"You slept pretty peacefully for all that fuss."

"…"

I blushed silently and kept sweeping.

I hated to admit it, but—

That first night here was the most restful sleep I'd had in this world.

…Even if I'd nearly suffocated.

++++

Dakak dakak.

"Hoo…"

Even as the carriage rolled on, my worries wouldn't quit, and the sighs kept coming.

If a day or two of thinking could've fixed this, it'd have been solved last week—I wouldn't still be stressing now.

The Sword Empress was that tough a wall to climb.

So the sighs kept slipping out, and apparently, they weren't sitting well with the woman across from me.

"Why do you keep sighing like the ground's caving in? You're draining my energy too."

Yeo Socheon frowned as she spoke.

"Oh, sorry if it bothered you. I'll keep it internal from now on."

"No, just tell me what's up. You look like you're gonna stew in it alone forever—spill it so I can hear it out. Who knows? Maybe I can help."

Her arms crossed, her expression prim, I recalled what the Sword Empress had said about her.

["Her mouth's rough, and she's terrible at being honest with her feelings. She can't just say she likes something—always twists it and ends up snapping instead."]

There was a word for that back on Earth.

Tsundere.

'Her way of showing it's a bit much, but she's not a bad person…'

"What're you staring at? Eyes off!"

'…Would be nice if her mouth was less rough, though.'

Her behavior hardly screamed "Taoist."

If only she were calm, mature, and gentle like the Sword Empress…

"Haa…"

"There, you're sighing again!"

"Argh, seriously…"

But wasn't the Sword Empress's personality the exact reason I was suffering now?

That unyielding, righteous streak that wouldn't compromise on evil.

"Judging by your face, I don't even need to ask what's eating you. Woman troubles, right?"

"…Obviously it shows?"

"How could it not? I'm not clueless about your situation—it's gotta be that."

"Haa…"

At least it was Yeo Socheon, who knew my mess—anyone else, and I'd probably be too choked to breathe.

"So, want some advice? Or you gonna keep groaning alone?"

Her outstretched hand at that moment—

With her life experience (sort of) and her ties to the Sword Empress, she might know sides of her I didn't. Maybe they'd connect as women too.

"…Help me."

I asked her sincerely.

"Heh. Should've done that sooner."

Yeo Socheon crossed her legs with a smug grin.

"Dang Ayeong's situation seems mostly handled… It's the Sword Empress, right? How do you convince her? One wrong word, and if she finds out, your head's gone—that's what you're fretting over. Don't even need to hear it to guess."

I'd hoped she wouldn't, but she even knew about Dang Ayeong.

Her info-gathering skills never ceased to amaze me—probably perks of being the divine duo's saintess.

"Yeah… The Sword Empress I know wouldn't let it slide easily…"

"Hmm… So she tried that yin-yang union to heal you back then? It was her first time…"

"…It was my first time too."

"…Uh… right. Yours too."