Chapter 142 : You Can Come In As You Please, but...
You Can Come In As You Please, but...
I don't know much about movies,
but I did see Iron Man 1, the film that set off the hero movie boom.
It was full of cool scenes and loads of fun,
but the most vivid scene for me was, of course, the ending.
At the press conference where he was supposed to deny being Iron Man, tony Stark said this:
'I am Iron Man.'
With that line, the reporters jumped up, and the movie ended.
I overheard somewhere later that,
apparently the original script had the press conference ending with "I am not Iron Man!"
The actor who played the main role... What was his name again, hmm,
anyway, that sexy middle-aged actor told the director, "This isn't Tony Stark-like!"
and the director readily accepted it, which is how the current ending was born.
I've rambled for a bit,
but I want to make one point crystal clear.
'Ah, this is so damn refreshing.'
I had no idea it would feel this liberating.
Now that I'm in this situation, I think I know how Tony Stark felt in the movie.
Like Tony Stark, who didn't want to hide that he was Iron Man,
I wanted to throw aside the forced burden of being battalion commander.
And now, having announced in front of everyone that I'm stepping down as battalion commander,
'There's no taking this back now.'
The knot in my chest melted away,
and the invisible weight on my shoulders felt like it was evaporating into the sky.
To make a decision true to myself,
to walk the path I wanted—doing that was honestly exhilarating.
Right now, I'm probably smiling more warmly than old man Kratan ever did.
'So-proud.'
On the other hand, the faces of the platoon leaders and soldiers below the platform were all over the place.
The platoon leader who used to look at me with respect now wore deep disappointment,
the few who'd known me since the early days, from dropping by the shop, looked horrified,
while the rest mostly made blank faces as if thinking, "What did I just see?"
Those faces gave me quite a bit of amusement.
'If I'd only had a camera, I would've taken a shot.'
Now that I think about it, aren't there any magical tools or artifacts like a camera in this world?
I was snickering at this useless thought when—
"Kyahahaha!"
From behind the stage came Legion's burst out laughing, so I turned my head.
Legion, clearly failing to hold in her laughter, was clutching her stomach and rolling on the ground.
"Kyaheut, I won, Lantz! Kyahahaha!"
Legion managed to speak, wiping away tears that had squeezed out,
while Lantz, standing right beside her, had his face hardened to the extreme.
Hmm, it looks like the two of them had a gamble going,
"Didn't expect it to be resolved so quickly."
From Lantz's tone, it was pretty clear what sort of gamble they'd had.
'Looks like the gamble was on whether I'd quit as battalion commander or not.'
Or maybe even a gamble on the timing of when I'd quit.
Well, such things don't really matter.
'What's troubling is that straight-laced Lantz is even more serious than usual.'
Sometimes it's scarier to see an expressionless face hardened like a glacier than just a scowling one.
That cold face, topped with fluttering blond hair, looked even more ruthless.
Alright! Now comes the start of the real obstacles I have to face.
Tony Stark, the protagonist of Iron Man, could do as he pleased because he was a billionaire,
but I'm just a one-year outsider on the continent of Belkhazium.
'The scale of cleanup is worlds apart.'
Of course, I didn't go off half-cocked.
I might be broke, but it's not like I'm powerless.
Turning from the soldiers, I faced Lantz. Chak.
At the same time, I put on an appropriate expression, looked Lantz dead in the eyes, and opened my mouth.
"Is there something you wanted to say to me?"
Again, I addressed Lantz in formal speech rather than casually,
thinking how this just rolled off my tongue much more naturally.
"......"
Lantz merely radiated an ominous aura, doing nothing else.
While only Legion's laughter could be heard for a moment,
Legion, finally out of breath, got up and spoke.
"Calm down, Lantz. We can't be fighting among ourselves in front of the soldiers, not in this situation."
Legion had returned to her soldierly tone, as if she'd never laughed like a girl a second ago.
"... Yes."
"Ian, you too. No more pushing it—jokes have their limits."
Of course, even if Lantz didn't know, I had been deadly serious, so her words made things a bit awkward,
but at her charismatic tone, Lantz quietly dispelled his mana.
*
The one who calmed down the rowdy atmosphere was, unsurprisingly, Special Investigator Legion.
Legion pushed me aside, took her place at the center of the platform, and announced to the unit.
― The battalion commander sacrificed himself last night to save Company Commander Hank.
There was no further explanation.
Legion immediately thrust her six-section staff into the sky.
― We follow after you, comrade.
Suddenly, the face of the battalion commander at the departure ceremony flashed in my mind.
That moment when we honored Legion's death.
But now, the exact opposite scene was playing out.
Only then did the death of the battalion commander seem to hit the soldiers and platoon leaders, and the air grew heavy.
Some of them let chicken-droplet-sized tears fall.
That was how much trust and loyalty the unit had for our old man.
'May you rest in the arms of the gods.'
With that, the assembly wrapped up solemnly, and after a few hours had passed,
I found myself, not in the cook platoon, but in the battalion commander's operations room tent.
Still—
"?"
Seated at the table between Legion and Lantz.
'... Huh?'
Strange.
Why am I sitting in the same battalion commander's seat as yesterday?
And that's not even all.
"Reporting from 2nd Platoon Leader of Lantz Company. We've received word of surrender from the Nest of the Red Rooster."
I'd supposedly stepped down as battalion commander and become just a cook platoon leader,
yet here I was, summarizing reports from other platoon leaders on parchment.
'... Damn, I've been had!'
Only after filling the parchment with reports from the three platoon leaders did I realize it.
I'd been swept along without really thinking about it.
'No, how did this happen?!'
Rolling my eyeballs, I looked over at Legion.
"!!"
Even though our eyes met, Legion promptly looked away, pretending nothing had happened.
That's right.
This was all the work of that woman disguised as a young girl.
'What a sly serpent of a woman!'
Truly, experience and political skill from three decades and her military career didn't just disappear.
Heck, yesterday, she'd made me battalion commander on a whim with just a salute.
Such a woman,
'Used her charisma to sway the soldiers with atmosphere.'
The loss of the battalion commander.
In the confusion and sorrow, she'd naturally led me back to the battalion commander's tent.
That's right, I remembered now.
As if enchanted, I'd followed Lantz and Legion in here.
'This is some illusion magic tier stuff.'
So, while my insides were turning upside down,
my hand, unfortunately, hadn't stopped moving the quill back and forth.
Sseuseug.
Even if I would argue about the current situation and the battalion commander job later,
for now, as long as I was sitting here, I had to do my part.
"... That's it."
Once the platoon leaders' reports and Legion and Lantz's Q&A ended,
I urgently called out to the soldier in charge so I could get away.
"Th-the next report—wait! Please, just wait a moment!!"
But before my words were even finished, Legion coolly carried on.
"Receiving reports nonstop has tired me out. Let's take a short break."
"Yes! I'll inform the next platoon leaders."
As soon as the soldier stepped outside the tent,
Lantz stretched his neck and said,
"At this rate, we'll be able to return in two days."
"I agree. The Red Rooster idiots are fully surrendering, so that's a relief."
"Exactly. What do you think, Platoon Leader Ian?"
"... Huh?"
For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
I was just about to scold them, "Why am I still acting as battalion commander?!"
but Lantz had just dropped the formality and called me 'platoon leader.'
'How am I supposed to argue now?'
Momentarily, I was struck by a gestalt breakdown,
when Legion jabbed my side with her elbow and spoke.
"Why are you spacing out now, Platoon Leader Ian? Looks like you managed things well enough."
I replied to Legion's words without thinking.
"Considering the state of supplies and personnel redistribution, we should be ready to leave by morning two days from now..."
Wait, hang on.
Why am I giving them a serious answer again, you idiot Ian!
"... No, I mean! I'm not the battalion commander anymore, I'm a cook platoon leader now, okay?!"
Thunk!
I slammed the vellum onto the desk to make my point.
Of course, I couldn't shout as loudly as I wanted,
since platoon leaders waiting to report were still outside the tent.
But then,
"I know."
Legion picked her ear with an indifferent face and continued with a blow.
"You're not battalion commander, you're Ian the cook platoon leader."
At this, Lantz nodded and chimed in.
"The battalion commander's seat is vacant, and you, Platoon Leader Ian, are just helping out the company commander and Special Investigator."
"Everyone expects that, since it's you, you'll help out just fine, so we all came here without hesitation."
"... Huh?"
Hold on—does it even make sense for the lone 'helper' to be sandwiched between the first company commander on his left and the special investigator on his right?
... That was what I wanted to say, but I didn't bother actually saying it.
The result wouldn't be pretty.
I could see it already: Legion would say, 'If the seat bothers you, switch with me.',
and Lantz would tag on, 'No need for the Special Investigator to move—swap seats with me, Platoon Leader Ian.'
'I'm screwed.'
Then, the truth I'd been neglecting came back to me.
The continent of Belkhazium was a medieval fantasy that ran on expediency,
no formality, no empty etiquette, pure practicality.
An outsider cook whining, "I don't wanna be battalion commander, nope nope!" got nowhere.
If those in power and the group decided, "You can come in as you please, but you don't get to leave as you please," you couldn't refuse.
That is, right now, I'd—
'I only took off the battalion commander armband—my job is exactly the same as before!'
It's only now, after all this, that I realized I was trapped in a fate I couldn't escape.
'Damn it!'
If it was going to turn out like this anyway, I should've just made Lantz and Legion address me with formal speech.
'I should've tried walking around receiving salutes from the soldiers!'
Thunk!
Without realizing it, I must have put too much strength into my grip, as the quill snapped.
When Lantz saw this, he snickered and said,
"Gotta go take a dump or something? Why not hurry and go?"
Pfft.
"?!"
I snapped my head toward Legion at the stifled sound of laughter,
but Legion had already composed herself, replying with a deadpan expression.
"Leaving is fine, but if you're constipated, that's a shame. There are still many platoon leaders left to report, after all."
Legion shot a glance at the tent's entrance.
With the sun high in the sky, we could clearly see the silhouettes of those waiting outside.
They'd probably heard every word we'd just said.
And as for getting through them and leaving—
'Anyone else could, but I just can't.'
If ever there was a time to recall Father's teachings, it was now.
Father always said:
Avoid if you can.
But if you can't avoid it, enjoy it.
The moment I remembered this wisdom the most was, of course, during my time in the military,
'And now, here I am, still in the army, damn it.'
Fine. If there's nothing I can do, I'll just accept it.
As I was reaching this conclusion,
the old man's dying words seemed to hover by my ear, as if sent from the gods.
― Please, look after Granfen.
In the end, I closed my eyes tightly and said,
"Let the next platoon leader come in."
At my voice of resignation, Lantz smacked my back and said,
"What about your dump?"
"Ignore it and it'll go away. Happens all the time when you're on intel missions."
I ignored their lame jokes and shouted loudly,
"Next platoon leader!! Hurry up and come in!!"
After that, the rest of the day went by in a blur.
Receiving reports with no break,
squeezing meetings in between,
relieving stress by cooking rice porridge,
and sparring with Lantz.
'I really gave it to him, for once.'
Just the way Ralph had once shown me some tough love.
The upshot was, it hadn't been a bad day at all.
Best of all, the widespread anticipation of our soon return home blanketed the garrison.
That brings us to the dawn of a brand new day,
and someone totally unexpected showed up at the garrison.
"... Who did you say arrived?"
To my question, Lantz beamed and answered.
"Devanne! Company commander Devanne is here!"