Chapter 140 : Return (6)
Return (6)
When I first saw that black-haired outsider, I was honestly surprised.
'There's something... different?'
Most outsiders summoned to Granfen never end well.
They usually get dragged off to the red-light district or the spirit stone quarry, worked to death, and eventually die.
Whether it's against their will, or by their own choice.
But the outsider Ian, whom I met at the inn, was different.
Yeah, the look in Ian's eyes was as if—
'He was someone waiting for tomorrow.'
He wasn't someone living a life destined for contempt and death.
I found the look in his eyes extremely unpleasant.
'For an outsider, huh...'
I swallowed my thoughts and forced down a spoonful of pumpkin soup.
"!!!"
At the blissful taste I was experiencing for the first time, I lost my senses.
A soft and rich, yet piercingly sweet aroma filled my mouth as if poking at my crown,
and I shoveled food into my mouth more frantically than when I wielded a blade.
Hurriedly. Hurrurup!
It wasn't until after I cleaned out three bowls in a flash that I came to my senses.
While I was eating the pumpkin soup in a trance,
'I didn't hear Ente's hallucinations.'
From that day on, I had the outsider's pumpkin soup at every meal.
It was the only time I could be free from my guilt, except when wielding a sword.
Perhaps because of that.
After eating the outsider's pumpkin soup, I was miraculously able to reach the 3rd-rank in my forties,
and on the stage of the sparring tournament, I was able to eat fondue bread and defeat Keil.
During that bout, I became certain.
The outsider's food didn't just improve my condition,
'It brought magical, tangible enhancements.'
I, who had been trapped in a long, dark tunnel,
got to glimpse the light, even if just for a moment, because of the outsider.
From that day, I decided to call the outsider Ian by his name.
If I acted friendly, maybe he'd take care of me a bit more.
That was my intention.
And not long after, the outsider returned from Grey Fortress,
and an honorary duel with Sergeant Pab was arranged.
I was regretful that I wouldn't be able to eat the outsider's food anymore,
but as always, acting like a good person, I said to the outsider,
"I'll sneak you out, so run away."
Whether the outsider ran or died, it was all the same to me,
but since he'd helped me reach the 3rd-rank, I wanted to show some mercy in return.
But the outsider looked me straight in the eyes and replied.
"Well, I don't really want to run."
"... What?"
"I really appreciate the concern, but you don't need to worry. I'll win."
I was at a loss for words.
It wasn't the expected answer, 'thank you for saving me',
'For a moment, did I see Ente's figure overlapping with his face?'
What's more, he looked as if he was looking forward to the duel with Sergeant Pab,
his pupils unconsciously sparkling.
"... Ah, got it."
I fled Fairy's Leg at a quick pace,
and the outsider survived the duel, as if to show me.
It was from that moment.
Here and there, I started to see Ente's silhouette flicker on his face and in his actions.
Sure, their skin tone and hair color were different,
but I found myself thinking the two were alike.
'If Ente hadn't died then, would he have become someone like this outsider?'
Since Ian had grown rapidly thanks to his immense talent,
if Ente had been at that age, maybe he would have reached even greater heights.
'Damn.'
Maybe because of that, I could treat Ian more naturally.
Responding to that, Ian seemed to open his heart to me little by little,
and soon enough, Ian made me this suggestion.
"Why shouldn't Ralph desire more?"
To go to the minor Demon Realm together,
to take the Spirit Orb and become stronger with me.
Of course, I refused.
Even for a moment, the greedy me felt disgusting.
But Ian looked at me with unwavering eyes and said,
"Exactly. We should go to claim the strength fitting for that position. So you can become a company commander."
At that moment,
I could no longer see Ian's black hair and yellow skin.
'??'
He was looking at me with reddish-brown hair and a pale face full of freckles.
I didn't know why.
That gaze just seemed to tell me 'It's okay.'
"For this village and the Duchy, I'm asking you. Please, desire more."
"...... Thank you, Ian."
Just barely, while calling him Ian and not Ente, I broke down in tears,
Srrrrk.
and the lingering shadow of Ente covering Ian's face faded away.
Of course, the illusion of my father still remained,
but that much was enough.
A world where Ente's hallucinations could not be heard was just too beautiful.
That's why I was able to follow even Ian's utterly nonsensical directions.
"Ralph. Do you remember the statue at the forked path at the entrance of minor Demon Realm?"
"Yeah. Why bring that up now?"
"The stone necklace hanging on it. You have to break it, Ralph."
I listened to Ian's instructions,
but I looked over his shoulder, staring at my father who was watching me from behind.
"Don't die."
I dashed off, together with the apparition of my father who had never disappeared since the day I fled Dieta village.
Toward where the statue would be,
breaking through countless monsters and traps.
Whoosh, ching!
Knocking aside flying bone knives and arrowheads as I ran,
Crack!
Turning bone monsters into powder as I charged forth.
My body was already swaying from taking a heavy blow from a giant barbarian,
but I pushed ahead with stubborn tenacity.
'Because father is watching.'
The me of my childhood and who I am now are different.
Now, even if it cost me my life, I wanted to save Ian.
It just felt like I had to.
If I couldn't do even that, I wouldn't be able to face my father.
And if not now, it felt like there would never be another chance.
That's how, even at the cost of losing one eye, I managed to break the stone necklace.
In the very heart of the minor Demon Realm, collapsing into dust, I faced my father.
"......."
Father was still expressionless and silent.
Just like that, he collapsed together with the minor Demon Realm.
He was breaking apart from the tips of his toes, fragment by fragment, sinking into the ground.
But only his eyes stared directly at me.
"... Why... do you just stand there and look at me like that."
No answer, of course.
That was natural.
Deep down, I already knew.
Ente's hallucination and my father's illusion that haunted me for twenty years weren't ghosts or supernatural phenomena.
They were just the shape of my own guilt.
So it made sense that he couldn't answer,
but as he vanished with the minor Demon Realm, I bowed my head toward my father's fading illusion.
"I'll follow you soon."
I was sure I'd meet my father again before long.
That intuition would not leave my mind.
* * *
Once I was actually alone, I felt a bit lonely.
Well, after twenty years together, it would be strange not to feel empty.
Anyway, contrary to my intuition, my father's illusion never returned,
but as he'd expected of me, I reached 4th-rank.
'4th-rank, the minimum requirement for a squire.'
Of course, I was way past the age limit, so I couldn't apply,
but things were different in Granfen.
I could finally take on a role befitting my strength.
So, even though it broke my promise with Ian, I reported to the battalion commander that I'd become 4th-rank,
and, fortunately, I was able to become company commander of 3rd Company.
As company commander, I gave it my all.
I wanted to resolve my regret over failing to become a squire by fulfilling my duties as company commander.
So I led and managed my subordinates.
Responded to the spirit stone quarry raid,
stood on the frontline in spring and built fortifications.
After that, I led four battles against those Heroni beast bastards to victory.
Along the way, Ian became a person Granfen could not do without.
A recognized talent and a key figure.
A part of me envied him.
To put it extremely—that's right, let's admit it.
It was a feeling close to jealousy.
I liked and respected Ian,
but on some level, I saw Ian as a rival.
Perhaps that's why I trained him even harsher, I thought, around the time—
That day came unexpectedly.
The day the battalion commander fell victim to a cursed artifact.
* * *
By the time I arrived, Schutmann was already gone.
Not only Schutmann, but the battalion commander and Company Commander Lantz too.
Instead, with 2nd Company at his side, Company Commander Hank and Ian were quarrelling.
"Schutmann will break the curse of 10 soon and appear. From that moment on, we have to stop him. At least until the battalion commander and Company Commander Lantz arrive."
I couldn't keep up with the situation,
but if Ian was right, we now had to fight Schutmann.
'Really...?'
How shocked I'd been to learn Schutmann was a squire.
It pleased me that as company commander, I could know his identity,
and being with someone who was close to the dreams of my father and me, that made me happy.
But—
'Schutmann is our enemy?'
My brain couldn't process it,
and in the blink of an eye, Schutmann appeared right behind Ian.
"Ian!"
Ian reacted quickly,
but the opponent was a 5th-rank squire.
Schutmann used Ian's strength against him and threw him far away.
Whooosh!
While I was distracted for a moment, watching Ian fly at terrifying speed,
"Platoon Leader!!"
The two corporals from the supply platoon dashed off toward where Ian fell,
Clang!
and the sound of Company Commander Hank's gauntlet clashing with Schutmann's sword snapped my focus.
"Amazing. I really intended to kill you just now."
"Bullshit!"
At Schutmann's remark, Hank retorted with a curse and unleashed his attacks.
Ka-kak, ching! Thud, thwack!
Of course, not a single effective blow landed.
No, calling it 'not a single effective blow' wasn't quite right.
Even though Company Commander Hank was a fellow 4th-rank and much stronger than me,
'He's completely toying with him?!'
Chills ran all along my body.
Schutmann's lips curled into a sour grin.
It was as if he were—
'Measuring Hank's talent as a company commander.'
With this realization,
my feet wouldn't leave the ground.
'What do I do?'
Even if I helped Company Commander Hank fight Schutmann now, we couldn't win.
No, it wasn't even worth making an attempt.
If Schutmann decided to use aura, it'd be over.
'Damn it.'
Did Hank notice that I was so frozen I couldn't move?
"Company Commander Ralph!"
Even while fighting Schutmann without pause, Hank shouted to me,
"All personnel of 2nd Company, fall ba—"
Crack!!
Schutmann's fist struck Hank's chest.
His breastplate caved in and Hank tumbled away like a string-cut kite.
Then—
"...... You're not thinking of joining in, are you?"
Schutmann looked at me indifferently and muttered.
But it wasn't me who reacted next.
The platoon leader and soldiers of 2nd Company shouted in retort.
"Company Commander Hank!!"
"E-Everyone, attack the masked swordsman!!"
"Uaargh!!"
The agitated soldiers at the front rushed at Schutmann,
and with a single strike of his blade, another corpse was created.
Chaak, Seok!
Soon five corpses had been made,
and a severed wrist fell at my feet.
At last, coming to my senses, I barely managed to shout.
"2nd Company, full retreat!!"
"......"
"What are you doing, idiots! Run away, now!!"
"R-Retreat!!"
Finally, the soldiers—including myself, dazed—started running for the garrison.
This wasn't command.
I was just fleeing under the excuse of Hank's orders.
Schutmann seemed to be killing our soldiers without the slightest emotion.
The shouts of swinging weapons mixed with death screams pounded the back of my head.
'Damn. Damn. Damn it!!'
Even as a 4th-rank, I was fleeing faster than any other soldier.
Upon reaching the garrison and looking back—
"?!"
More soldiers had made it back to the garrison than I'd expected.
Because—
'Ian is...'
I thought Ian had fainted on the far end of the battlefield—but he had returned and was fighting.
Returned from the curse of 10, together with the battalion commander and Lantz, and even Sergeant Zaiya and Special Investigator Legion, and even poor, virtually dead Hank.
Those people, fearlessly wielded their weapons with desperate resolve, facing down a squire.
The rank and file couldn't see, but thanks to Fragment of the Firmament, I could see everything from afar.
But my body—
'Why won't you move? Why!'
Even after all the surviving 2nd Company soldiers had returned to the garrison, I just stood there, dumbfounded.
How much time passed like that, I don't know.
'Damn, I knew it.'
After a bloody battle, Zaiya died,
Lantz and Legion fell.
The balance completely shattered.
Unable to watch their fight any longer, I spun around and shouted at the soldiers.
"We're going back!"
Platoon Leader Lerkin, who had been waiting right next to me, asked back.
"Huh? Go back where...?"
Of course it meant returning to the village.
If we wanted to live—no, if I wanted to live, I had to get as far from Schutmann as possible.
I called it 'going back' instead of retreat or fleeing,
but I couldn't explain that to the platoon leaders.
Because—
my father's apparition was right in front of me.
'Father?'
I hadn't seen him since the minor Demon Realm, but here he was again.
"... Company commander?"
The platoon leader called to me, frozen in place, but I continued quietly staring at my father.
My father just looked at me, expressionless as ever.
'What are you trying to tell me, father?'
This is nothing like when I returned to the statue to break the stone necklace in the minor Demon Realm.
If I go there, I'll die for sure.
That's not risking my life, but throwing it away!
I kept silent, just as my father did, holding such thoughts.
But then,
"!!"
My father's stiff facial muscles slowly began to move.
From his lips to the wrinkles beside his eyes.
At last, my father spoke with a sad face.
― Do you want to go on living in regret again?
Hearing my father's voice for the first time in forever, I was choked up,
but in my mind, I argued back.
'Even if I regret it, isn't living better than dying? If I hadn't run from Dieta village that day, I wouldn't have become a company commander like now.'
Father shook his head and said,
― You didn't become a company commander because you survived. It's because you protected others.
My own eyes flew wide open before I knew it.
Until now, I'd thought it was all due to Ian's food and the OOPArts' charity that I was promoted—
'Because I protected people...?'
Father gave me the answer.
― What if, that day in the minor Demon Realm, you hadn't found the stone necklace, and had run away alone?
If that had happened, of course Ian would have died,
and we wouldn't have gotten Fragment of the Firmament.
Probably, from there, fighting demonkin and monsters, we'd have died—or been dying every day.
Father was right.
― In a world you ran away from, sometimes it's better to face things head on, rather than live in pain. Just like you managed in the minor Demon Realm.
Having lived for twenty years in regret and pain, I resonated with that, but—
'Regret aside, I'm still afraid of death.'
I lowered my head deeply.
Quivering. My tightly clenched fists shook,
and my father's gentle voice was heard.
― I was always strict and harsh with you and later regretted it. If there's one thing I did well in life, it was to give my life to save Dieta village and you.
I slowly looked up.
Father still wore a sad expression,
but struggling to put on a smile, he continued.
― If I hadn't saved you back then, I'd have lived in even greater regret and guilt.
Feeling the relief in his voice, I almost broke down, but
with soldiers watching, I barely held back my tears.
'Father...'
Grit.
Grinding my teeth and swallowing my tears,
father began to disappear from the feet up.
It wasn't like in the minor Demon Realm.
Even if I saw my father again, I felt I wouldn't see him in this form anymore.
― Sometimes, dying without regret is better than living in regret, my son.
My father's right index finger slowly pointed behind me.
I turned again to where Schutmann and Ian would be standing,
and couldn't help but furrow my brow.
Because I heard Ente's childish weeping from the day we fled the village.
― Save me, Nagel!
Of course, Ian wouldn't call for me in such a childish voice.
But it made me realize without a doubt.
If I didn't go back to Ian, who was fighting Schutmann now,
'I'd spend the rest of my life living in even deeper hell!'
Better to die, as Father said, than live such a life.
"Hoo."
My mind was suddenly clear as I made my decision.
I tried to look at my father's illusion again,
"......"
But father was already gone.
"Uh... company commander, what do you mean by returning?"
Noticing the change in my mood, the platoon leader cautiously asked.
Turning my body toward Schutmann, Ian, and the battalion commander still on the battlefield outside the garrison, I answered.
"This company commander is returning to the battlefield."