Chapter 30
Chapter 30
Red Cloud kicked the front door open like a loser dog—sporting a singed cowlick the colour of burnt toast and clutching a neon-death-Barbie-pink fizzy drink—while Xing Dian’s merciless laugh-track buzzed “bzzt-hahaha” in the background.
Wei Wu opened up, took one look, and squealed like a pig. “Pff-hahaha! Redhead, is that a new skin? ‘Inferno-Caramel Limited Edition’? And that weapon of pure girl-power? New trend: light your own cigarette with self-immolation? Hahaha!” His laughter rattled plaster dust from the ceiling.
“Laugh it up, jerk! Get me scissors! And a lighter!” Red Cloud lobbed the pink grenade of soda at him; Wei Wu snatched it with an NBA slam-dunk flourish while she steamed off to the bathroom, reeking of burnt hair and bad mood. The Xing Dian orb plastered itself to the frosted glass, projecting a manic crimson disco dot that broadcast every crash, curse, and yelp in real time—an opera of snipping scissors and pinched fingers.
Wei Wu wiped his eyes and pushed a toolkit through the door, switching to long-distance heckle mode. “Yeah, the left side looks chewed by a dog! Chin up—ow, pinched again? Hahaha!” Full-audience mode activated.
In the living room, Milu hugged her mutant Pothos Bro—now Hulk-green thanks to life-force overload—and trembled. At ground zero, White Xi sat enthroned on the single sofa, snow-pink hair cascading as she lazily stroked Lord Yue Fei the cat. Amethyst cat-eyes half-closed, purring like a dismissal spell, she shut out the bathroom symphony.
But inside her head the bullet screen screamed:
Eternal Dream: Prime Abyss Crack still bleeding HP! Background noise unbearable!
Milu’s panic gauge maxed out, shield-leaf shaking!
Elegant witch duty: comfort the junior. Decision—deploy the ultimate healing art: Afternoon-Tea Power! Demonstrate our aesthetic of order!
“Milu.” White Xi’s voice chimed like cathedral bells.
Milu’s bunny-soul jolted. “Y-yes, Senior White Xi!” She clutched the pothos shield tighter.
“Calm yourself.” White Xi tried to curve her lips 0.01 degree—failed. “You were startled; your spirit is unsettled. I shall brew tea and settle it.” Translation: Don’t freak, big sis will buy you a cuppa.
Milu turned tomato-red. “A-afternoon tea? F-for me?!” Happiness fizzed out of her ears. “Arigato, Senior White Xi!!!” Favourability meter rocketed into orbit.
White Xi’s gaze swept the cup rack—too crude, too tacky—then locked on the antique bone-china set enshrined in Wei Wu’s display cabinet under glass. Bold red labels: FRAGILE—DO NOT TOUCH—NOT FOR SALE. Labels ignored.
“This ware... walls thin as cicada wings, voice like heaven’s own, moonlight dancing within—perfect.” She brushed the case; lid and dust cover lifted like they’d been petrified. The glowing white pot and cups floated out.
Milu’s pupils quaked. “Senior, that’s Big Brother Wei Wu’s life-support system...”
“No matter.” Cradling pot and one cup, White Xi glided to the kitchen, hem fluttering. “A vessel finds its soul in use. Destiny: hold Moonlight Tea.” Somewhere, Wei Wu’s heart cracked into eight pieces.
The kitchen morphed into a magician’s atelier. White Xi declined Milu’s offer of help—your aura is still turbulent and will disturb cosmic harmony—then took command. Flour, butter, milk hovered in waltz formation. Fingers signed seals in the air while she sang, “♪ Starlight sprinkle, moonlight blend ♪”
Milu sparkled. “Sugoi! Senior is amazing!”
Alas—when the mix hit the mana-powered oven—
BOOM! Instead of cosy red glow, indigo-silver nebula storm detonated inside. Light strobed, oven clanged in protest.
Milu ducked-and-covered. “Senior?!”
White Xi frowned; her left-hand phantom stuttered—Crack debuff triggered. She reached to salvage—
Sputter-BANG!
Lights out, smoke up. The door creaked open, revealing several meteor-black lumps studded with stubborn indigo flecks, exhaling the metallic perfume of overdone barbecue.
Milu stared. Idol filter... critical.
Lord Yue Fei padded in, sat, twitched violet eyes, and delivered a soul-shredding mrrrow: Starlight? Hmph—interstellar trash.
White Xi, expression SSS-rank stable, lifted the smallest meteor on a moonlight cushion, laser-filleted it to reveal raw batter within, sampled delicately. “...Earth’s weight, star-spark’s echo... edible.” Dignity retrieved.
Milu’s brain screamed: Senior’s taste buds... broken?
Yue Fei’s tail flicked: Keep acting, let’s see how long you last.
For ambience, White Xi eyed Milu’s mega-pothos. Life-force creation—vivid, perfect backdrop. She tapped a leaf with moonlight.
Bzzt—Pothos Bro: ??? Again?! Vines exploded into anacondas, lassoing the ceiling light, scaling walls, hog-tying the coffee table. Living room → Amazon Sub-Jungle. The chandelier groaned like it wanted to die.
Milu, hugging the mother pot, fossilised amid the greenery. “......”
Yue Fei claimed the sofa summit, eyes cold: Figures.
White Xi nodded. “...Verdant vitality. Acceptable.” Pothos Bro wept inside: Thanks for nothing.
She floated the scalding teapot toward the vine-wrapped table. Milu followed, cradling the meteor platter. White Xi targeted Milu’s cup. Silver stream poured—
Ting—CRACK!
The handle seceded under micro-burst moonlight, snapped clean off. Boiling tea lunged for Milu’s fingers—
Danger!
White Xi’s eyes flashed arctic. Time hiccupped. Tea froze mid-air; her other hand flashed in, cup rescued, pot halted—zero spill. Perfect form—if you ignored the amputated cup and Milu’s out-of-body shock.
White Xi set the cup down. “No harm. This is... Flawed Aesthetics. Return to simplicity.”
Yue Fei from the sofa: Simplicity? Pfft—call a spade a spade, butterfingers.
Milu gazed at the handleless cup and charcoal meteor: To drink or not to drink... that is the question.
Tea-catastrophe paused. White Xi drifted to the balcony sun-patch, knelt, hair pooling like moon-silk, eyes closing for meditation.
But—micro-motion snared her gaze. By the threshold, ants heave-hoed crumbs of Milu’s biscuit.
Her blue eyes ignited. Microscopic order! Cooperative radiance! She forgot zen, bent close, released a hair-thin thread of moonlight to guide their caravan.
“Order... cooperation... glimmer of life...” she whispered, as if witnessing genesis.
Zzzt!—Crack debuff again. The filament flared sun-bright—micro solar punch!
Flash—gone. One ant, its prize, and a rice-grain of floor tile vaporised, leaving a pin-prick crater—dimension erased.
White Xi froze, expression cracking. “...Not my intent...” Panic. She conjured another thread—
Pfft! A slightly thicker beam zapped the sprout beside her. Leaf fried, curled, dead.
She petrified, finger still outstretched. Inner bullet screen: I killed?! Ant AND sprout?! Where is elegant-witch dignity?!
“Hmph.” Supreme contempt from ankle height.
Lord Yue Fei licked a paw, violet eyes slicing across crater, scorched grass, her finger: Elegant? Can’t even ant-control. Rookie.
White Xi entered witch-level existential despair.
“S-Senior White Xi... are you okay?” Milu’s head popped round the balcony door.
White Xi rebooted in milliseconds, slipped hand into sleeve, switched to ethereal mode. “Minor incident. Observing micro-order... minor disorder too.” Eyes evaded ground zero.
Milu spotted the scorched sprout—light-bulb moment. “Senior!” She pointed at the indoor jungle. “Pothos Bro’s blocking light and strangling the table—let me trim!” She charged in with pruning shears, merciless gardener on a mission. Snip-snap! Vines fell like green rain; table legs freed, walls saw daylight. The cuttings “happened” to carpet the crater and the crispy leaf—perfect natural camouflage.
White Xi watched the crime scene vanish, a shimmer of warmth—or maybe salvation—touched her eyes. “...Excellent. All things... find new order.” Pothos Bro bled internally: My branches—noooo!
In the sunset glow the living room lay wrecked: handleless cup, charcoal meteors, shed vines. White Xi sat on the sofa, Lord Yue Fei monopolising the armrest. She lifted the burning, handleless cup, moonlight insulating her fingers, sipped unsweetened jasmine tea. Steam curled—everything under control.
Milu munched a teddy biscuit, BYO snacks the smart move; her cheeks finally relaxed.
Yue Fei pretended to nap, tail-tip twitching: Today’s elegance, courtesy of a lesser mortal’s chaos.