The Returnee Wants to Live Comfortably

The Only Good Couple is a Dead Couple? When Did I Say That?

December 24th.

Today, Christmas Eve, was a day when parties were frequently held.

The reason needed no explanation.

Because it was Christmas.

Because it was Jesus's birthday.

That's why there was something I couldn't understand.

'Why do couples flock together on such a good day like this?'

If it had been the old me during my college years, I would have just let it slide.

Back then, I had no reason to care. The problem started after I suffered to death in Mewzealand.

Due to being a demonkin, I was subjected to harsh torture, which ruined my reproductive organs.

Even though I spent 50 years there, even though I rose to the throne as the Demon King, ruler of demonkin,

Having even a single child became impossible.

'I couldn't even hold a woman in my arms.'

Given my power as the Demon King, forming a relationship with someone should have been easy.

But even with a perfectly normal woman in front of me, I felt no interest at all.

Desires overflowed, but I had no way to relieve them.

'It's like a starving person finding a feast after a month with nothing to eat... only to discover they've lost their mouth and can't eat.'

Desires that could not be resolved turned into despair.

Eventually, it exploded as an inferiority complex.

Whenever a man and a woman showed affection in front of me, I would feel a surge of anger without even realizing it.

Even now, reincarnated on Earth, the trauma from those days hadn't faded.

'Is it because of that?'

I found myself deeply sympathetic with those shouting 'Heaven for singles!'

In fact, I was practically at the center of the party they were hosting.

"Ma Seongjin! Isn't this a foul?"

"Why, the effect is just as written. Is there a problem?"

"No matter how I think about it, that's just cheating!"

Right in the middle of the party hall, I was playing a card game with Go Donghyuk.

Honestly, we were just friends hanging out on Christmas Eve, so it was just a way to kill time.

Someone suggested we go to an amusement park together, but going to an amusement park 'in these times' was like walking straight into hell.

So we ended up just fiddling around with cards here.

"All effects of spells your opponent activates become nullified. See, clear as day."

"Ugh...!"

Duel Masters.

It was popular in my day, and its fire hadn't cooled even now.

Duel tournaments were still being held.

Countering an opponent's strategy by activating traps or quick-play spells, or the feeling of achievement when summoning a high-level monster under tough conditions, remained the same.

"My Black Flame Dragon attacks your monster."

Go Donghyuk's monster had an attack power of 1200.

And his Life Points were 1500.

My monster had 3000 attack power.

If this attack went through, donghyuk would take 1800 damage and lose.

Plus, my monster's effect rendered all spell cards useless.

But then—

"Seongjin, did you just say 'attack'?"

"Huh?"

Suddenly, donghyuk's lips curled up.

He flipped over a set card with a shout.

"I activate my trap card!"

"Ah!"

A trap card that could be activated when the opponent attacks.

Its effect: destroy all attacking monsters.

"Kneel before the Sublime Power of Hanoi!"

"Wait, hold on!"

In the end, my monster was destroyed so meaninglessly.

I could deal with spells, but not traps.

"Our Seongjin. Your field is completely empty, huh?"

"..."

My Life was 1,100.

If I took a direct attack from a monster with 1,200 attack power, the game was over.

All my monsters had just been destroyed, and I had no cards in hand.

"Argh!"

"I win again!"

That was my fifth surrender already.

Go Donghyuk was elated, shouting in triumph at his five-streak winning run.

"Seongjin! Why are you so bad at dueling?"

"What?"

"Did you forget? You kept losing to me last time too. At this rate, you're not a duelist, but a duelist's lackey, aren't you?"

"A lackey? This isn't even my main deck, okay?"

The cards I used now were just packs I bought from the stationery store with my hand.

Just a mish-mash deck thrown together from lots of random packs.

"Then where's your main deck?"

"At home. I'll show you later."

"Good! You have to show me."

Maybe because he liked card games more than expected, donghyuk was pretty excited.

Was he looking forward to it?

My parents were supposed to bring my card packs for an upcoming event soon.

If Donghyuk was a duelist to his bones, he'd probably freak out when he saw my cards.

Bzzzzzz—

Just then, I felt a vibration in my pocket.

"Excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom for a second."

I moved to a quiet place to take the call.

Caller ID: my mom at home.

"Mom, what's up?"

—Seongjin, honey. Sorry for calling so late... Did Ah-rin arrive yet?

I already knew about that.

That an unexpected guest was coming to our house.

Back then too, my mom had called to let me know.

But what on earth was Ah-rin even doing, showing up after six years?

I was honestly just surprised.

"Where would she be arriving?"

—Just a moment ago...

Mom told me Ah-rin had left our house with the hand.

That piece of news made my face form a 'why?' expression.

Did she really need to come here?

—Originally, Ah-rin asked me to keep it a secret, but I felt I should tell you after all.

That, apparently, was why she called late.

It seemed Ah-rin wanted to surprise me.

—But, you know, Ah-rin's gotten so much prettier. She's so much more mature now than when I saw her in 1st grade. She's pretty enough that any boy would fall for her at first sight.

"Really?"

—If you go around with Ah-rin, I bet the other boys will get jealous!

To be honest, I was curious how much she'd changed.

But something about what my mom just said gave me an uneasy feeling.

—And by the way, she totally treats you like her boyfriend. Standing in front of her, it felt like I'd suddenly turned into a mother-in-law.

"Boyfriend?"

—Yeah. She was practically bragging about you to everybody.

Suddenly, chills went down my spine.

If Ah-rin came all the way to the hand, I sensed something seriously bad was about to happen.

"How long ago did she leave?"

—About an hour. So she should already have arrived by now, right?

"Do you have Ah-rin's number?"

—No, I couldn't get that.

Since I didn't have her number, I had no idea where she was.

But if Ah-rin knew my details, chances were high she went to the Middle School Academy 2.

If she could find my home, she probably knew which school I attended too.

—And about that card pack you asked for? I gave it to Ah-rin to bring to you.

"Yes, thanks, mom. I'll see you at the event."

—All right, love you, son~

Tsk—

The call ended and I immediately knew what I had to do.

I had to get back to the Middle School Academy 2.

If Ah-rin was there, I had to get her out of the hand right away.

There were reasons I couldn't meet her just yet.

'But I'll have to get the card pack.'

In a hurry, I stepped out of the bathroom.

And was about to leave the party hall.

"Huh?"

As I exited the bathroom, all the students were blocking my path.

The friends who had been enjoying the party and laughing with me now radiated deep disdain toward me.

The atmosphere felt distinctly off.

"Ma Seongjin."

Go Donghyuk, who stood at the center, approached with heavy steps.

The friendliness from earlier was gone without a trace.

His expression was filled only with hatred and contempt.

"There's a guest here to see you."

The students blocking me parted as a group.

Standing there was a girl who seemed oddly familiar.

"Seongjin! It's me, it's me!"

"..."

A girl with short pink hair, one side tied up into an apple shape.

Blue eyes as pure as if they contained all the world's innocence.

And cute fox ears sprouting from both sides of her head.

A lovely girl called out to me.

"Hahaha! I've missed you!"

The girl ran over to me with a smile and hugged me tight.

With her tail swaying behind her, she looked just like a puppy.

Just from those features, I could guess who it was.

"Ah-rin..."

"Huh? You recognized me?"

Could I not have?

The only Mutamit in my memory who was a canid beast-type with pink hair was you.

"Then how did you recognize me?"

"How did I recognize you?"

Ah-rin pulled me even closer and buried her nose in my face, Dıscover more novels at novęlfire.net

then sniffed me intensely, almost to the point it was uncomfortable.

"Your scent hasn't changed at all. Thanks to that, it was easy to find you even here."

Come to think of it, Ah-rin was a canid-type Mutamit.

If she tracked me by scent, it made sense.

"Anyway, Seongjin."

"Yeah..."

"I missed you so much!"

Ah-rin continued hugging me, blissfully lost in happiness.

But the more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed.

A friend I hadn't seen in six years... why did she like me so much, just because we hung out for a bit in 1st grade?

And moreover, I sensed an enormous power inside Ah-rin now.

Since she clung to me, I could sense it more clearly.

'A monster?'

There were several odd details.

But, putting all that aside, a more pressing issue had appeared.

"Ma Seongjin. That girl claims you're her childhood friend and boyfriend. Is that true?"

"..."

"I want to hear the answer from your own mouth."

Go Donghyuk pressed me for an answer with the most forceful tone.

The stares from the other students were no less intense. It felt as though thunderclouds were gathering with the wrath of gods.

At this rate, it wouldn't have surprised me if thunder struck right now—the atmosphere was so tense it was about to fall apart.

'Let's organize this.'

Today is Christmas Eve.

The location: a party for singles.

In front of my high seat, a certain girl has appeared, introducing herself as my girlfriend.

And, she's very pretty at that.

Childhood friend, as a bonus.

Hmm...

'What is this... disaster about to explode?'

No matter how I thought about it, there was nothing shittier than this.

It wasn't some romantic comedy from some island nation—how did such an insane situation come about?

'What crime did I commit to deserve this?'

The students' expressions were no joke.

They stared at me the way independence fighters looked at traitors.

"Haa..."

They looked ready to tear me limb from limb if provoked.

Sighing, I turned to Ah-rin and spoke.

"Ah-rin. I have a favor to ask."

"What is it? Just tell me."

Ah-rin added that she'd do anything if Seongjin asked.

Hearing this, the students' expressions darkened even more.

Immense jealousy was radiating from all sides.

"Could you wait outside for a bit?"

"Why?"

"There's something I need to say to my friends here."

"Hmm... okay. It's not like I smell anything bad from them anyway."

"Wait, give me the card pack first."

"Okay."

Ah-rin handed me the card pack and obediently left the party hall.

As soon as she disappeared, every gaze focused back on me.

The pressure, as if my heart was being squeezed, would have made any ordinary person collapse on the spot.

"Now answer me, Ma Seongjin. What exactly is your relationship with her? Are you really dating?"

To that point-blank question, I answered.

"And what if I am?"

"What...?"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"..."

.

.

Hearing that, Kwon Sang-ah at my side looked shocked.

Seongjin had until now been at their sides shouting 'Solo Heaven! Couple Hell!'

Based on his actions, he seemed like their perfect comrade.

"What does it matter who I meet? Even if she's not my girlfriend, can't I even meet a female friend?"

But to hear such words come from Seongjin's lips... she could hardly believe it.

"You... what are you saying...!"

Go Donghyuk was crumpled with disbelief, but Seongjin, unfazed, spoke plainly.

"I'm telling you to mind your own business about who I meet. Really, isn't it simple? Everyone else wants to love freely, so why suppress that? What is this, some kind of communist state?"

That's rich coming from you, Ma Seongjin.

But why did this line sound so familiar?

What was it—some sword-fighting comic about goblin slayers, when the protagonist faces the final boss and says—

"It's pointless for us to cling to this couples stuff so pathetically. Even while we're doing this, couples out there are living sweetly together."

Is he out of his mind?

You were the one who shouted 'the only good couple is a dead couple!' in front of everyone up to now—how are you not pathetic?

"Most normal people are just fine without joining meetups like this. So why aren't you?"

Who are you to suddenly switch stances?

You went along with all this too!

"The reason's obvious. It means you're still fresh and inexperienced, with no social experience at all."

And what are you then, being among all these so-called newbies?

"So, stop being so stubborn and get on your own path."

You're more stubborn than anyone, honestly.

"And don't come to regret this after you get married, looking back and cringing under your blanket."

Ugh.

He's about to make my head explode!

"Hahahahaha... Ma Seongjin..."

Donghyuk, hearing that, let out a hollow laugh.

Having given up on everything, his expression finally twisted like a goblin.

"You're an abomination that should never have existed!!"

The rest of the students emitted the same monstrous aura.

Seeing the spectacle, Sang-ah let out a deep sigh.

What am I even witnessing right now?

With her head spinning, Sang-ah clutched her head and thought,

'Am I the crazy one here?'

-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=

Seongjin you hypocrite!!!

WAhahahahahahah

【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】