Chapter 12-7 - Kaito Kamiki's Nightmare
7 - Kaito Kamiki's Nightmare
Kaito was preparing to leave for classes.
“Yume, I’m at the door now. Don’t tell me you haven’t properly gotten ready yet.” Kaito said. “It would be pretty bad to be late again, you know?”
“Ah, it’s fine...” Yume said, approaching him. She smiled, but her smile looked hollow. “I don’t think I’ll come to class today.”
“Huh? Why?” Kaito asked.
“Just feeling a little tired. I got a pretty bad headache.” Yume said. “It’s fine. I just need to sleep a bit more. Tell the profs that I won’t be coming today.”
“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?”
“Haha, no, it’s fine. It really is.” Yume said. “I’ll feel guilty as ever if your attendance suffers so much because of me.”
“Do you need me to do anything?” Kaito asked.
“Yeah, just one thing.” Yume replied. “Just...hug me.”
Kaito smiled and embraced her. They held each other tightly and in silence, longer than they’ve ever held each other like that.
“Thank you.” Yume replied with the same hollow smile.
“Get better then. I’ll be back and maybe I’ll figure out something nice I can do for you.” Kaito said. “Goodbye, love you!”
“I love you too, Kaito.” Yume waved goodbye. “Thank you for everything.”
Kaito left the apartment.
He followed his usual route to campus. The weather outside was slightly cloudy, but it was okay. It didn’t seem like it was going to rain. He was thinking of how to surprise Yume.
...
“Hm...”
“What if I write her a poem?”
“Well, I don’t know about that. Poetry has never been my strong suit. But I guess it doesn’t hurt to try...”
“Should I send it to her, or should I tell it to her in person? I guess I’m better off sending it. Might be a pleasant surprise for her when she wakes up.”
“Let’s see...”
“I could write about the fireworks, but I guess she made one about them already. Or I could write about nature. Or...actually...it could just be something simple. Something that would cheer her up.”
“Hm...”
He started sketching something on the piece of paper in front of him, which was supposed to be used to take down notes. It was to be of particular significance since this was the very subject Kaito had failed last semester.
“Let’s see...”
“I love you, so I’m sending you love.”
“I want you to be healthy like a dove.”
“I want to embrace you and hold you in my arms,”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make your day feel right.”
“Huh...probably the corniest thing I’ve ever written. But it’ll probably work. I bet it’d even make her laugh, and laughing is pretty important when it comes to feeling healthier.”
He quickly typed it out on his phone and sent it to Yume.
“She’s probably asleep, I shouldn’t expect her to reply instantly.”
Kaito left the classroom.
However, in the hallways, he was approached by someone whom he didn’t expect to see.
“You...” the dean said with an imposing tone.
“Huh? What is it?” Kaito asked back.
“Were you aware that I was observing the lecture you were in?” The dean asked. “Why were you on your phone instead of focusing on the class?”
“I was looking into something very important.” Kaito asked, preparing to leave. Except he would be stalled even more.
“Something even more important than your education?” The dean pressed him. “It’s not even about that, I’ve been observing you for quite some time. You haven’t learned a thing, have you?”
“Excuse me?”
“You and that girlfriend of yours. Always distracted by something....” The dean grunted. “When will you two irresponsible idiots actually apply some effort into this?”
“Do not insult her.” Kaito calmly said, glaring at the dean. The latter didn’t sense that much of a threat at first, but he did remember Fedor warning him about Kaito’s potentially ‘unpredictable’ behavior.
“You get my point.” He said, walking away. Kaito also walked away, but he was deep in thought.
“This damn pig again...”
“Thankfully he didn’t double down on trying to call out Yume. I might’ve swung on him.”
“I don’t want to get into trouble because I know Yume would get upset at me. Well, not upset, but she’d get into trouble too.”
“And I’d never want that.”
“I want the best for her. That’s all I want.”
He made his way to the next classroom, but something changed his mind.
“Actually...I should probably head back home.”
“I wonder how Yume is doing. I’ll even buy her some sweets on the way.”
He made his back to the ice cream shop where they hung out for the very first time, talking about poems and whatnot. He grabbed two boxes of her vanilla ice cream, stopped by the market to buy some fresh fruit, and headed back home. The weather was still alright, just a bit cloudy.
“I better hurry up, it might start raining.”
He made his way towards the apartment and knocked on the door. After not hearing a response, he got his keys out and slowly opened it. He tried to be as gentle as possible since he thought that Yume was asleep, he wouldn’t want to wake her up when she was vulnerable and trying to get better.
He slowly made his way to the bedroom, but she wasn’t there.
The plushies were neatly organized on the bed, the bedsheets were scrambled, but Yume herself wasn’t there. Kaito was a bit confused now. But it was also likely that she just went out. Sometimes, when someone’s not feeling well, they might choose to go out for a walk. Fresh air does tend to help with headaches sometimes.
He sighed.
“Weird...she would’ve texted me if she left.”
“But she didn’t even read the poem I made for her. Maybe...something’s wrong with her phone, and she went out to get it fixed? That sounds like the best explanation.”
Kaito walked into the living room, nothing was out of the ordinary here either. He looked around, the suspicion that she might just be asleep on the couch was vanquished too.
“Huh...”
“Would she...fall asleep on the toilet? Or the bathroom?” Kaito asked himself, heading back to the hallway and checking in on those rooms. They were empty. Things looked the same as when Kaito had originally left home.
“The kitchen in that case?” Kaito thought, heading there. ”How the hell did she fall asleep in the kitchen?”
“Out of all the places...”
When he entered the kitchen, he stood still in dismay.
“...”
“Yume...?”
He still held the bags with ice cream and fruit in his hands, but for a moment, they felt like they had no weight at all. Something akin to an electric caress ran through his eyes and the top of his head, his hair feeling spiky and unpleasant. His face became boiling red, his heartbeat slowed down. It was hot and cold at the same time, a cold drop of sweat ran down his neck.
But his expression didn’t change yet.
“That’s not you, right?” He asked, not hearing a response.
“Hey...”
“Yume? That’s...”
There was still no response, although, expecting a response from her in her state was a bit foolish. She couldn’t speak, nor could she breathe or do anything at all.
She just laid there. On the cold kitchen floor, only warmed by the puddle of blood underneath her pale, motionless hands. The last thing she held onto was a kitchen knife, which was covered in the same blood. Her eyes only slightly open, Kaito had to squint a little to see them.
Once he saw them and how lifeless they were, he recognized the body.
“...Yume?”
“Yume...”
“This...”
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“This isn’t you, right?”
“I’m...going to wake up soon, right? If I squint my eyes really hard, I’ll wake up, right?”
He did just that. But opening his eyes afterwards only resulted in reality hitting him even harder.
“Why are you still here...?”
“You...”
“Why did you do this?”
“Why would you...do this?”
“No...”
“No no no no no no no no no no no no no no...”
He dropped the bags on the ground.
“There’s no way you’re just...going to disappear from my life, right? There...”
“You’re...”
“Without you, I don’t have anything...”
He quickly dialed emergency services.
He tried to perform CPR, and maybe his actions had some benefits down the lane. She was delivered to a hospital, but even the doctors’ hardest efforts weren’t enough to effectively resurrect her. She was passed away in a hospital bed, the cause of death being determined to be suicide via cutting the wrist open.
...
Kaito didn’t hear anything, he just heard a static.
“Did you understand what I just told you?” The doctor in front of him, a slightly older man with a raspy voice said. Kaito still sat down in disbelief, shocked at the reality he didn’t want to accept. The doctor sighed and waited for a few seconds.
Kaito slowly raised his hand.
“Huh...?”
“I understand it might be hard for you to think right now, but we are very, very short on time.” The doctor explained.
“What...do you mean?” Kaito asked.
“I’ll explain it again, briefly.” The doctor sat down next to him on the cold steel chairs in the hallways. “The girl, Yume, has passed away. But her heart didn’t.”
“What...?”
“If you give us the approval, we will donate her heart.” The doctor explained.
“Donate...her heart?” Kaito asked, his shock being the only thing that held back the rage he felt at the moment.
“There’s unfortunately nothing more that can be done about her. But she can make a difference.” The doctor said, clearing his throat. “There’s a whole list of kids who need a new heart, and yet, most of the organs never get to them, or become available too late.”
“No, that’s...that’s her heart!” Kaito said, raising his voice. “That’s her fucking heart! You’re gonna cut her open and...and...”
“She’s...”
“Gone.”
“How fucking dare you!” Kaito stood up. But the doctor’s calm composure stopped his outburst.
“Yume...what type of person was she?” The doctor asked, nervously checking his wristwatch.
“She...” Kaito slowly came back to his senses and sat down again. “She was...everything...she was so pure, and loving, and fun...”
“And despite all of that, she was hated...”
“I want you to tell me if she was in your position, would she have donated her heart to save someone’s child?” The doctor asked.
“I...she...”
“She never liked people.”
“She hated them back.”
“I need you to understand this situation.” The doctor said, “Either Yume dies, or she dies while saving a life. You loved her, right? The bond that you and Yume had, imagine if there’s a parent out there, who loves their kid just as much as you loved Yume.”
“That can’t happen.” Kaito though, still hearing the static. “She wasn’t just a lover to me. She was the reason I felt alive. That’s more than love.”
“We’re running out of time.” The doctor said. “We still have enough time for the extraction and preservation of the heart to be successful. If you wait too long on this decision, the heart will slowly die out. That child will die out.”
“I...” Kaito tried to speak up.
“Would...Yume even agree to this...?”
“...”
“She’s a kind person, isn’t she?”
“She tried her hardest to not be hated. Maybe...she’d do this to avoid that. So that people love her.”
“But they never did.”
“Don’t...you need the consent of her parents for this?” Kaito asked, slowly starting to tear up. “She has...some family, I think...she was disowned...”
“We tried contacting them, but there’s no response.” The doctor said. “Ideally, you’d need to be her husband in order to give consent, but...”
“But what...?”
“You know what? Just...leave the paperwork to me. I’ll figure something out.” The doctor said. “Now then, Kaito Kamiki, do I have your consent?”
“I...”
“Yume, help me...”
“I don’t know what to do without you...”
“You do.” He whispered.
“Good.” The doctor quickly got up. “I’m sorry for your loss, but you made the right ” He left Kaito, rushing to the phone and ordering for the procedure to start. They managed to save the organ just in time before it was rendered unviable.
Amidst all of that, Kaito was left alone, with no idea how to proceed.
He just rested his head on his elbows and started crying. He was scared of even seeing her body again, and even more scared of checking his phone, because his wallpaper was the two of them. And he had all those pictures saved, and the poem he wrote...
She was gone.
For the first time in his life, Kaito cried genuine tears of sorrow following the passing of someone that he loved.
But instead of just grief, it slowly filled him with hatred...
[JANUARY 15TH, 2022]
The funeral ceremony had ended. Kaito was left alone in front of Yume’s grave. He wasn’t surprised that not many people attended.
He was all too devoured by the fact that the girl he loved was dead.
She was buried in a cemetery not too far away from the city. Unusually enough, the graves were decently spaced out. Kaito remained there after everyone else had left. He was kneeled in front of the gravestone, still unable to process things. They should’ve been together at home, cuddled up, watching whatever and doing whatever. Enjoying one another’s company.
It was night. The sky was pitch black, only the moon was there. There was only a slight wind, other than that, it was dead calm. Kaito heard someone approach him.
“Kaito...” Fedor said in a somber voice.
Kaito didn’t reply.
“I’m sorry for your loss. Take whatever time you need to recover, I’ll see to it that you don’t get any issues regarding your class absence.” Fedor said. “Things like these...they shouldn’t happen to anyone.”
“Recover...?” Kaito said, not taking his eyes off the grave. “How...can I even recover from this...”
“You will have to.” Fedor said. “You cannot let this event, no matter how traumatic it is, devour your whole life. Yume would want you to move on and be happy.”
“Yume...would want to be with me.” Kaito said. “She wanted to be alive. She wanted to be happy like the people around her.”
“Yume carried a lot of pain.” Fedor explained. “She maybe didn’t tell you about it, but I’ve looked through her medical history...she was hospitalized multiple times after unsuccessful suicide attempts. Sometimes, Kaito, no matter how hard you try, you cannot save someone from themselves.”
Crows assembled around the graveyard’s dark iron gates.
“I couldn’t do it.” Kaito said. “Everyone else hated her, I was the only one who loved her. Was...my love not enough?”
“I’ll say it again, Kaito. It’s not your fault.” Fedor said. “It is sometimes impossible to save people.”
“But...why...” He said, a tear falling from his eye.
“I did everything right, didn’t I?! I was there for her, I looked after her, I showed her love...”
“If it’s not my fault, then whose fault is it?”
“It’s all their fault.”
He listened to that thought, and his mindscape was altered.
“She was bullied, abandoned, hated, laughed at, ignored...and she still tried to smile at the world. She tried to smile for me.”
“And yet, they’re still out there.”
“She was...my purpose...she was the reason I was happy...”
“And they’re happy right now.”
“Why...did they hate her?”
“Fedor...” Kaito said. “What has she done to them...to warrant so much hate...”
“I’m not aware of that.” Fedor replied.
“Who are these people that hated Yume so much...and why were there so many of them? Why, out of all people, a bright mind like her...she wrote such nice poems, she was so friendly, she was...”
“Like a flower.”
He slowly turned to face Fedor.
“You were right.” He said with a small smile.
“The world would be a better place...if it was just a flower field. A flower field without the grass that gets in the way.”
“What...exactly was I right about?” Fedor asked, confused. “Kaito?”
“You were right.” Kaito smiled a little more, before looking back at Yume’s grave. “You were...right...”
“A world would be better off...”
“If only the smaller group existed.”
“If the common group was removed from the equation altogether.”
“Thank you, Professor Fedor.” Kaito said. “I would like some time alone now.”
“Right...” Fedor replied, slightly confused and even scared. “I will go now. My condolences, and...stay strong.” He turned around and left.
“The worst possible thing happened to probably the one person it shouldn’t have happened to.” Fedor though, exiting the cemetery. “His obsessive nature...”
“I just hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.”
Kaito, on the other hand, remained in the exact same place.
“It was the love of just me...against the hatred of so many. And the hatred won.”
"How..."
"How did their hatred get to her..."
“They are why Yume is now a heartless corpse.”
“Not even people...”
“By vile, pathetic creatures that are better off extinct.”
“People that don’t have the capability to understand or see. People who never think beyond their impulse. People who drool over what they think is cool, while completely disregarding the other perspective.”
"They are the reason she's dead."
“People who lack...”
“A soul.”
He felt a strange, dim light emanate from the grave.
[SOULFULS HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED.]
He observed it in surprise. The light grew brighter and brighter, eventually, the source of it revealing itself before Kaito’s abyssal eyes.
[BUT THEY NEVER EXISTED BEYOND POWERLESS, DORMANT SOULS.]
A small, unique entity hovered above the grave, slowly levitating towards Kaito. Kaito extended his palm, captivated by its charm.
“This...is this you, Yume?”
“Is this your soul?”
“They...really exist. And they are the solution to Fedor’s theory, are they not?”
[AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY, THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THE SOULLESS AND SOULFULS WAS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH.]
“Yume, would you want something like this?”
“You hated them too, would you...want me to express this hatred of ours?”
“To fight hatred with hatred...”
[THE SOULLESS FORMED A VAST, EMPTY VOID.]
“My purpose was ripped away from me, but at the same time, it’s still here.”
“You are my purpose, Yume. If this is what you want, I’ll see to it.”
“And after that, we’ll reunite.”
[AND THE SOULFULS - A POWERFUL, LUMINESCENT SPARK.]
Kaito leaned forwards a little. He brought Yume’s soul closer and closer to himself.
He felt the presence of a power he didn’t recognize yet, but one following the flow of which felt as natural to him as breathing or blinking.
[THE TWO, THROUGH THEIR CONTRASTING NATURES...]
[FORMED A FUNCTIONAL SYSTEM...]
[ ✦ AND BLESSED THE WORLD. ✦ ]
Kaito devoured Yume’s soul.
2022
THE FIRST GLOBAL SOUL EVENT TOOK PLACE.
BELIEVED TO BE THE ACT OF THE “SOUL DEITY”, A DIVINE ENTITY; A SELECTION OF INDIVIDUALS ACROSS THE GLOBE AWAKENED THEIR SOULS AND SOUL-RELATED ABILITIES.
THOSE WHO COULD PERCEIVE AND UTILIZE THEIR SOULS WERE CALLED “SOULFULS”.
HUMANITY WAS IRREVERSIBLY MODIFIED.