Soul Spark

“Every bird has its meaning among the folk."

“The black crow symbolizes death.”

“But its lonelier counterpart, the white crow, symbolizes awakening and change.”

“A duality of hope...”

“And despair.”

SEGMENT I: 'WHITE CROW'

1 - Altitude

[ST. PETERSBURG; AUGUST 2021]

“I’ve had perhaps hundreds of students. Each and every one of them, at their core, was different. But a flaw of mine is that I tend to forget them.”

“This person, however...I don’t think I’ll ever forget him. As a matter of fact, I keep thinking about him all the time.”

“Something’s unusual about him.”

Fedor, adjusting his attire, leaned his head on the dark wood desk. He was among the most respected professors in the establishment, his lectures - always filled to the brim with curious students. But now the auditorium was empty, the class had ended a while ago. Only the haphazardly tidied desks and chairs remained, everyone present had left so as to not miss the most convenient buses home.

Only one student remained. He was someone who Fedor had gotten quite close to over the last few years, courtesy of the two sharing many classes. He was perhaps the only professor who had gotten close to him, and the student himself viewed Fedor as the only truly wise mind in the whole establishment. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for him to ask Fedor for help when reviewing documents, even if they were for different classes.

The student was twenty-two years of age at that time, and he was quite a sharp one. His most noticeable trait were his eyes, they were a profound deep blue. Not abyssal, but a shade that could be seen at an oceanic depth, where light could still reach.

Fedor carefully inspected the document in his hands, and as he finished reading through it, he sighed.

“I’m willing to assume that you’ve already accepted the risks of submitting something like this, Kaito.” Fedor said.

“Risks...?” Kaito seemed confused. “I don’t think there is any sensitive material in it.”

“No, the risks aren’t about the content. Well, technically, they are.” Fedor said. “This is not what your assignment demands you to do.”

“The essay is clear, well-structured and cohesive, right?” Kaito asked. “What’s the problem?”

“Kaito, there’s no formatting.” Fedor said. “There aren’t any sources...at all. How do you plan to submit something with no cited sources? This isn’t creative writing, this is academic writing. You need references. You need proof. This...is as good as taking notes of a dream you've had.”

Kaito sighed in annoyance.

“You don’t realize it yet, do you?” Fedor asked, leaning a little towards the desk. “If you mess this up, you risk having to repeat the semester. Your graduation will be prolonged...and I’m certain this won’t reflect well on your academic record.”

“Professor Fedor, do those things even matter?” Kaito sharply asked.

“...what?”

“I’ll submit it this way and get it over with.” Kaito said. “It’s a good essay. There’s no way they won't accept it at all, worst case scenario is I’ll get a low grade, but I don’t care about it anyways.”

“And that’s it? You want to just...be done with it?” Fedor asked, correcting his glasses.

“What else is there to do?” Kaito shrugged. “I need to get that diploma, that’s all I need from here.”

“And what are you going to do then?” Fedor asked.

Kaito didn’t have a response. He just gazed at Fedor, his expression seemingly empty and a little zoned out.

“I guess I’ll find a job, make money...and yeah.” Kaito said.

“And that’s it?” Fedor asked.

“Does there have to be anything more?” Kaito asked back. Fedor took a deep breath.

“Kaito, if I were to hear such a response from you during your freshmen year, I’d at least be willing to accept it. But right now...” Fedor said. “It’s like you don’t care about what happens to you in life. Even if you just want the diploma, if your goal is to, quote, find a job and make money, then you’d benefit a lot from good grades, connections, references, recommendations...”

“That’s...not my goal.” Kaito said.

“Then what is?” Fedor asked.

“As of right now, it’s to leave this place.” Kaito explained.

“Do you not like it here? Is something bothering you?” Fedor questioned him.

“No, it’s great here. I’m sure it is.” Kaito said. “But...there’s nothing here that...nevermind. It’s a bit difficult to explain.”

A pause later, he continued.

“The stuff I wrote about just now is probably the only exciting thing that's happened to me so far.” Kaito confessed.

"And why is that?"

"Because it explains some things. It makes sense to me." Kaito said. "It just...makes sense. You...know that, right?"

“Yes, I do know what you wrote about. You based it off of my purely theoretical ramblings.” Fedor sighed and got up. “Please rework your essay. And change the subject so you actually manage to find credible sources that aren’t just your professor’s daydreams. You still have some time until the deadline. I can review the document if you need me to.”

“Thank you, professor.” Kaito nodded, staying in the classroom. “I can’t change the topic.”

Fedor briefly looked back at Kaito, who was gazing outside of the large windows. The sunset was truly beautiful. He slowly left, leaving the door open behind him.

“I’ve never seen him doing anything. I haven’t seen him with a friend group either, it’s like he only has acquaintances, not friends.”

“If he truly wanted to get a good job and make money, he’d participate in special projects or pursue an internship or something.”

“It’s like he’s...empty.”

Kaito was still there, admiring the sunset. Truthfully, he still couldn’t answer Fedor’s question of what his goal was. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to edit the essay at all, he felt like its contents were personal to him. He thought they could be an explanation for why things were the way there were.

[THE NEXT DAY]

“Be warned! Be warned!” The barely clothed man yelled outside, wearing large signs with barely cohesive scribbles on them. “The apocalypse is near! The wrath of the vengeful gods will strike us all! The sun shall turn hollow, flaming beasts shall fall upon the earth, and mankind shall be purged!”

A pair of policemen approached him to try and make sense of him, but the altercation soon devolved into a fight which ended in the probably insane man’s arrest.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Kaito walked by the sight, slowly making his way to campus. He was already alert, even anxious. He received a rather worrisome email instructing him to visit the dean of the course he was in. It was something regarding his overall grades.

He made his way throughout campus, walking strangely fast. He said that he didn’t care much about university, but this did get him surprisingly alert. So much so that he even accidentally bumped into a sprinting girl on his way there. But it was alright, she hastily apologized and continued sprinting. Kaito didn’t pay much attention to it.

Finally, after going to one of the many buildings on campus, climbing up to the fifth floor, navigating the narrow hallways and knocking on a large glass door, he made his way to an office that wasn’t his final destination. He instead had to ask around and eventually, by navigating the insides of that room itself, he knocked on a relatively smaller, wooden door. Why are dean cabinets always in such confusing places, he thought, before slowly entering.

Fedor was there too, and the dean of his course, that being, language and societal studies, was sitting across the desk.

“There you are.” The dean said. He held a paper in his hands, the same one that Fedor was observing a day before. “Sit down. This might be a bit difficult for you, but it shouldn’t take a lot of time.”

“Difficult...?” Kaito asked, slowly grabbing a chair and sitting next to Fedor.

“You see, you’ve been one of my most disengaged students.” The dean said. Not only was he the most important figure in the aforementioned course, but he was also a professor of its core subject - studies on society. “And when I’ve been reading through this essay, it made me ask myself what you’re even doing in such an environment in the first place.”

“...what?”

“I...perhaps could’ve worded that differently.” The dean coughed a little. “I’ll get to the purpose of this meeting. Your grades are insufficient, you’ve failed the subject.”

“What?!” Kaito exclaimed, almost jumping up.

“Kaito, please be calm.” Fedor advised him.

“No, but...how? How does that work?!” Kaito asked. He appeared genuinely upset, something that not even Fedor had seen in him.

“The majority of the grade was to be decided by the final essay.” The dean continued. “What you’ve submitted is, unfortunately, not eligible for a passing grade. And thus, combined with your already below-average grades...your final grade is below the minimum threshold.”

“But...there’s no way.” Kaito said. “I’ve put in actual work behind that essay. It has...it has good content. Was it a teaching assistant grading it?”

“I have graded it personally.” The dean replied.

“In that case-” Kaito said, interrupting himself so he doesn't say anything rash. He recollected his thoughts and came up with a more polite alternative. “In that case, could you please tell me what you thought was unsatisfactory? Maybe I can fix it, maybe we can...figure something out. I can explain certain things if you misunderstood them.”

“No, I will be the one doing the explaining.” The dean sharply declined. “The formatting is not up to academic standards. You haven’t cited any sources, and you wrote as if what you’re saying is gospel.” The dean said. “How am I supposed to believe you? What stops me from calling you a liar?”

“I have listed a source.” Kaito said. “I’ve referred to the person who advised me.”

“I know, that person is here.” The dean said. “Professor Fedor, you appear to be most familiar with the contents of this work.”

“I do.” Fedor sighed. “I was asked to review the essay. It's effectively an elaboration, breakdown and showcase of something I came up with in my free time.”

He took off his glasses and stretched a little before continuing.

“It’s my theory on how there are misunderstandings between the general society and isolated individuals, and a hint to how the two groups might treat each other. It’s...nothing special, really. There’s no research behind it, it’s as good as something I said at a coffee table to impress a date.”

"Have you given him feedback?" The dean asked him. "Have you explained how crucial it is for him to not write about so-called coffee table talk?"

"I did advise him to review it." Fedor sighed.

“Professor Fedor, that theory is...” Kaito tried to find the right words. “I chose to talk about it.” He turned to face the dean again. “Sir, what is wrong with the topic I chose? That there’s no sources? The source is right here!”

“First of all, lower your tone.” The dean grunted. “Secondly, I didn’t ask you to come up with something new. I asked you to observe an already existing phenomenon in society.”

“But it does exist!” Kaito continued. "And so what if it's new? What, I'm not allowed to talk about new things? Am I supposed to just recycle information?"

“It's not about recycling, dear God, do you not understand this? It's about the validity.” The dean raised his voice. “Where is your proof? Were there ever any studies? Group observations? Any peer reviewing or validation from other experts in the field? Have any reputable scholars confirmed or denied this? Once again, this is not-”

“I...they wouldn't get it!” Kaito interrupted him.

“I cannot talk to him anymore.” The dean told Fedor. “There’s no point in drilling into a skull with knowledge if it's too thick to be pierced with basic facts. I’m sure by now you know, Kaito Kamiki, that you will have to repeat the semester. Good luck next time.”

After a brief period of silence, Kaito stood up and walked away. But before leaving the room, he turned to say something more to the dean.

“Maybe you just don’t want to admit that what I wrote about is more significant than the soulless crap that you teach.” He said, glaring at the man as if he wanted to kill him. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀᴛ novel-fire.ɴet

“Excuse me?!”

“Go fuck yourself.” Kaito said, leaving the room, the hallway, and the building altogether.

...

Outside, he rested on a small bench by one of the larger apple trees. He anxiously tapped his foot on the ground, playing around with his fingernails.

“Fuck...what do I do now?”

“Why do I even care?”

“It’s not like I need a degree to get a job, right? I’m probably expelled now. There’s surely someone out there willing to hire me without a diploma.”

He remembered Fedor’s question.

“Why do I even care so much about getting a job anyways? It’s not like it’s going to change my life anyways. It’s just...”

“Yet another means to pass time and survive.”

“I can’t see how life is supposed to be anything beyond that, unfortunately. Seems like my entire legacy will be just that. Spending time, surviving, and then...”

"I finally found something I got invested in, but apparently it's no good for this world. And there's realistically no way anyone else would care about it."

"Maybe I should just..."

"...stop caring altogether?"

Fedor interrupted his train of thoughts by sitting down next to him. A strangely cold wind blew by them, it was still afternoon, so most parts of the campus were filled to the brim with students doing whatever they do in their limited free time. But that corner of the area was relatively quiet, it was a place Kaito visited often.

“I don’t like lying, you know?” Fedor said. “But at this point, I don’t even know if I lied or not.”

“I’m sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable position. I just...needed to get my words across.” Kaito said, looking at the ground, where his sight was locked on a group of ants trying to carry a leaf across the path. “I let my emotions take control.”

“Happens to the best of us. I’ve gotten into many such arguments as well.” Fedor said. “I had to tell him that you were going through very difficult times, and that you spent all of your remaining time on finishing the essay. I blamed sleep deprivation and a generally hard life for your outburst.”

“Thank you for covering me.” Kaito replied.

“But I do want to know how much of what I said is true.” Fedor said. “Kaito, if there is anything alerting you, you should let me know.”

“Thanks, but...that’s not really it.” Kaito said. “It seems like this is our last time meeting. I won’t be surprised if they remove me from the student list.”

“They won’t expel you.” Fedor said. “But you will have to repeat the semester, though.”

“I understand.” Kaito sighed, lowering his head.

“...”

“Professor Fedor...” Kaito spoke up.

“What is it?”

“There’s no way life is just...this, right?”

"What do you mean by that?" Fedor asked again.

"Life...isn't just survival." Kaito said. "There has to be something else."

"Unfortunately, a lot of times, it really is just survival. But there is something else." Fedor replied. "What separates the survival of an animal and the life of a human, though, is a purpose. Something that you devote yourself to and pour everything into. Something coming straight from the soul, if it makes sense."

"Right...I see..." Kaito said.

"Why do you ask?"

Kaito didn't reply. He politely bid farewell and left, and Fedor decided that it was best to let him be alone for a bit.

...

[SEPTEMBER, 2021]

Kaito made his way back to the campus. He went through all of this already, he wasn’t supposed to even be there. But he got what he got, there was no talking out of it. As a matter of fact, he was lucky Fedor was there to bail him out of the expulsion.

He slowly entered the classroom. He was already a week into classes, all of the introductory garbage was out of the way. His first course of the day was the class that failed him in the first place - advanced societal studies. He took a seat, it looked like he had a different instructor though, which was good. It was a woman either in her twenties or her forties. And only a few minutes into the class, in classic university fashion...

“Right, I want you to split into pairs and discuss today’s reading materials regarding wealth classes. Choose your partner and write down at least three key takeaways from the material.” The woman said, clapping her hands.

“I’ve done this exact thing once already, ugh...these types of things are supposed to be individual tasks.” Kaito thought.

Kaito looked around. He normally hated such assignments, or at the very best, he didn’t care. He was the group member that wasn’t a thrill to get, but there was always a worse option. It seemed like there was no one left to pair up with, everyone had a partner already. Except a single girl in the leftmost end of the classroom.

She nodded at Kaito, as if too embarrassed to tell him directly that they were the only pair left. Kaito nodded back, taking his thin notebook and black pen over to the desk next to her. But after he sat down...

“Wait a minute...” She squinted her eyes a little before quietly exclaiming. “I made you drop your phone, didn’t I?”