Explorer of Edregon

Vin could only stare at Reginald in utter shock, but Fred merely hummed as he peered at the rat. “Alright, talking animals aren’t unusual for dreams at all, but I get the sense that him talking isn’t the weird thing here. What’s with the rat?”

“A tad rude to speak of someone as if they didn’t even exist, is it not?” Reginald asked, getting up from his throne and walking over to them. As if his talking wasn’t weird enough, Reginald walked on his hind legs like a person would, which was almost too much for Vin to bear.

“I’d apologize, but you’re just a figment of a dream,” Fred drawled. “You might be able to chew Vin’s feet off if you were so inclined, but you can’t hurt me in here.”

“Does consisting of nothing more than a figment of a dream make me any less real than you?” Reginald challenged, stopping before them and staring up at the floating pixie. “You yourself are nothing more than miniscule pieces of mana given form and structure by the grace of the Gods. How does that make you any more real than I?”

“I’m nothing more than… wait what?” Fred blinked, turning to look at Vin. “Why the hell is a part of your subconscious claiming that I’m made out of mana?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Vin said quickly, crouching down and giving Reginald a weird look. “I know this is stupid to ask, but I just have to. You’re not the real Reginald, right?”

“No, I am not,” dream-Reginald chuckled, reaching forward and lovingly patting Vin on the nose somehow, despite the fact that he was far too small to do so. “You most likely conjured me due to having seen the real Reginald reading his book on cheesemaking before leaving Terra.”

“Ah, that would explain things,” Fred said, nodding along. “Like I said, recent events are big influences on dreams. Wait, you saw a rat reading a book? In the real world? …What kind of life are you living?”

“Again, you don’t want to know,” Vin repeated, glancing around the cellar. As far as he could tell, there wasn’t so much as a single door or window leading anywhere. It was just the three of them in a cellar containing a few dozen barrels filled with pre-packaged cheese. “Reginald, do you know how we progress to the next level of dream? I need to finish up this dream journey before the battle for wave six arrives, so I’m on something of a timer. It feels like I only just started, but at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling I’ve already been dreaming for hours.”

“You never did have a good sense for time within Introspection,” Reginald chuckled. “As to getting to the next level, there’s only one way down. Through the cheese, of course.”

“Through the cheese?” Vin asked, raising an eyebrow. As soon as he said it though, Fred snapped his fingers.

“Of course! One of the barrels should lead down to the next layer. Well go on then, start popping them open!”

“It’s not exactly easy with only one arm,” Vin grumbled, moving to get to work on the next barrel. But to his surprise, Reginald hopped on top of it, halting him with a raised paw.

“Allow me to be of assistance to you,” Reginald said, reaching over his shoulder into Scule’s cape and pulling Vin’s golem arm out of it of all things. “This should make your journey easier.”

“This is by far the weirdest thing I’ve ever done,” Vin muttered, taking his missing arm from Reginald and staring at it. “…You wouldn’t happen to have Deorer and his tools in there to help me reattach this thing again, would you?”

“Don’t be silly,” Reginald laughed, shaking his head. “Deorer would never fit within the cape.”

“Of course. Because that would be crazy,” Vin said.

“Precisely. This is a dream, Vin, the arm should reattach without issue.”

Seeing as he had nothing to lose, Vin tried pushing the prosthetic arm onto his stump. With a click like he was shoving an action figure’s arm back into place, his golem arm flashed blue, and he wiggled his fingers to confirm it worked once again.

“Well alright then. Thanks, Reginald, I appreciate the help. Want to come with us?”

“Sadly, I dare not step away from my cheesemaking for long,” Reginald said, giving him an apologetic squeak. “If the fermentation process goes on for longer than it should, the cheese will turn into butter.”

“That’s not how butter works either!” Fred shouted, all but growling as he pointed at the barrels. “That’s it, we’re out of here. Start opening those barrels!”

Thanking Reginald one final time, Vin got to work on the barrels, the process far easier now that he had two hands again. In no time at all he found a barrel filled with darkness rather than pre-packaged cheese, and he hopped in.

Sliding down some sort of chute, he landed on his feet, blinking at the bright light suddenly beaming down on him and the wall of cheers coming from all sides. Glancing around, he cursed as he realized where he was.

He was standing in what could only be Terra’s new colosseum, surrounded by thousands of cheering people.

“Do you fight as a gladiator in your spare time?” Fred asked, appearing beside him again as he scanned the crowd.

“No, but our town just built one, and I was thinking about checking it out one of these days,” Vin sighed, trying to make out any of the faces within the crowd. In typical dream fashion, he couldn’t actually tell who anyone was. The harder he tried to look at someone, the more their features seemed to blur. “Let’s just pray my subconscious doesn’t make me fight dream-Phil. If it does, I’m going to die very fast seeing as I can’t use my magic here.”

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“People of Terra!” A voice boomed out, and Vin blinked as he looked up to find Alice of all people sitting atop of a large, marble throne. “You’ve all asked for it, and the day is finally here! Today, we shall finally answer the question you’ve all been asking yourself all these years! Who is stronger? The Roamer? Or the Bear Trap?!”

As another wave of cheering went out through the crowd, a rusty grate rose on the edge of the colosseum, and an animated bear trap jerked out, snapping at them and held back by nothing more than a flimsy rope. At the sight of the metal trap snapping hungrily in their direction, Fred merely raised an eyebrow at him. “…I’ve been doing this for a long time, so when I say this, I want you to understand I truly mean it. You’ve got some weird dreams, dude.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Vin sighed, dropping himself into a combat stance. The staff that had randomly appeared in his hand in his dream about the battle for wave six had vanished, but at the very least, the golem arm Reginald had personally given him was still here. If it functioned like it did in the real world, in theory he should be able to blast the living bear trap apart in a single punch.

“Go, Bear Trap!” Alice shouted, standing up and pointing at him. “Spring attack!”

Vin was caught entirely off guard when the bear trap opened its metal jaws and dozens of sharpened springs shot out of its mouth from nowhere, shooting at him like arrows.

“What the hell?!” Fred shouted, leaping to the side right behind him despite his claims that he couldn’t be hurt. “Why would you even conjure up something like that?!”

“I noticed it had a lot of springs in it, alright!” Vin shouted as he began running at the bear trap. Yet once again he realized he was covering the distance between him and the trap as if he were walking at a brisk pace, and he grumbled as Alice smirked and pointed at him again.

“Alright Bear Trap! Use Jaws!”

While struggling to reach the living trap, Vin could only watch as the bear trap seemed to float in the air all on its own, swimming toward him like a shark as familiar, tense music started playing all around him, quickly picking up in tempo.

“It’s getting faster, why is it getting faster?!” Fred shouted, looking every which way in fear as the music reached a crescendo.

“Don’t worry, I got this,” Vin said, preparing himself as the trap swam closer. He didn’t have to worry about the difficulty of moving around within a dream if his opponent came to him, so Vin waited, timing his punch to the beat of the music. Just as it couldn’t get any faster, the trap lunged forward, and Vin’s hand flared blue as he struck out, smashing his fist into the metal jaws of the bear trap. Springs and shards of metal exploded everywhere as the trap was utterly obliterated, and the crowd went wild, screaming and throwing roses down at his feet like he’d just finished a big recital.

“The Roamer is victorious!” Alice cried, causing the screaming fans to double in intensity. “As promised, your prize!”

Grabbing what looked like a giant Christmas present of all things, Alice hurled it into the colosseum, the present landing directly at his feet. The present was even larger than he was, and with a shrug, Vin ripped it open.

Revealing a closed door standing in the center of the colosseum.

“Well that’s convenient,” Fred said, not having any issues seeing the door after Vin had already recognized it as the portal. “Got any other weird things you want to spring on me?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Vin said, pulling the door open and peering inside. He thought he’d be ready for anything by now, but he was still surprised to spot Lumel sitting on one of the two stone chairs they used to chat on in the Underside for sometimes hours on end.

“Vin,” Lumel said, giving him a polite but strained smile. Her hood was covering most of her face as if she was preparing to talk to a stranger, and she gestured for him to take the seat across from her. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Oh, God,” he muttered, already seeing where this was going. “I had a conversation with Alice about breaking up relationships before I came over here… I think I know what this dream is going to be about, and I’d really rather skip this one if that’s an option.”

“You just fought off a living bear trap with your own two hands, and you’re worried about the dream version of your girlfriend breaking up with you?” Fred snorted, shaking his head. “Come on, this should be easy.”

“Fria was right, you really don’t have much of a love life, do you?” Vin muttered, stepping through the door as Fred sputtered behind him. Walking over to Lumel, he searched for the stone frame that would lead him to the Earther dungeon and ideally the next layer of dream. It should have been pretty close to the stone stools he’d created, but naturally, it was nowhere to be found. Realizing there was no getting out of this, Vin let out a heavy sigh as he took his seat.

“I hope you weren’t waiting long,” he said, giving her an apologetic smile. “What’s on your mind? I don’t suppose I can explain that this is all a dream, can I?”

“It really did feel like a dream at times,” Lumel said softly, her strained smile turning a bit happier for a moment, before quivering. “I’m sorry. I know I told you that the way you go running off on your own was one of the things I liked most about you, but I changed my mind. I need more security in a relationship, and I’m just not getting that right now.”

“Ouch,” Fred said, watching this whole thing go down like an outside observer. Dream-Lumel didn’t even seem to notice his presence, so he was more than happy to add his own commentary. “See, this is exactly why I don’t want Fria to date. She doesn’t need to go through something like this!”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Vin told dream-Lumel, ignoring Fred entirely. “If you want to summon a door from your Dimensional Pocket and tell me to get lost, I’ll understand.” This conversation still hurt, but not nearly as much as he thought it would. Honestly, Fred’s commentating helped him remember that none of this was real, and he simply kept repeating to himself that he was going to give Lumel the biggest hug once he was done with all this.

“Let me finish,” Lumel said, getting an apologetic nod from him. “I’m not getting that sense of security in a relationship right now… Which is why I think it’s time we took our relationship to the next step.”

“Wait, what?” Vin asked, blinking as Lumel got down on one knee and held out her hand. With a flash of purple, an open box appeared in her hand that contained a shining, golden ring.

“I think we should get married,” she said, staring at him with wide eyes as her hood fell down from around her head, only to reveal she was somehow already wearing a wedding veil. The trembling smile he’d thought had been her fighting back tears revealed itself to actually be one of nerves and excitement, and he sat there, utterly frozen as the sounds of wedding bells seemed to clang from all sides.

“Woah, plot twist!” Fred laughed, clapping his hands at the surprise. “This is why I love going on dream journeys! The nice, happy ones are always a pleasant surprise!”

Vin could only sit there as Lumel waited for his answer, his heart pounding a mile a minute as he all but started hyperventilating. Having steeled his resolve to be broken up with, this was the absolute last thing he’d been prepared for, and he realized right then and there this wasn’t a happy dream. This wasn’t a happy dream at all.

This was a nightmare.