The Last Star

After returning to the spaceship, Virka locked herself in her room. It worried Avi, and she wanted to give her friend some time, but she was also unsure if Virka would want to hurt herself again. Luna assured that she still monitors Virka's all vital functions, but despite this, Avi still knocked at the door to Virka's room, only to be shooed away.

“Leave.” - Virka shouted from behind the door.

“Virka. I'm worried.” - Avi uttered, her back leaning against the door.

“There's nothing to be worried about.” - Virka insisted.

“Do you want to talk, perhaps?” - Avi asked.

“No!”

“Will you at least tell me what you are doing at the moment?”

There was a moment of awkward silence, after which Virka added. - “I'm drinking. Are you happy now? Leave me alone.”

Avi sat down on the floor. - “Now, I'm sure I won't leave.” - She warned louder.

Virka got up and swung the door open, causing Avi to tumble inside. Now, her eyes were directed right up, to Virka's teary face. Most of her makeup was all over her eyes and cheeks.

“Do you really want to see me like this!?” - Virka yelled. - “Do come in, then!” - Then returned to her chair, rested arms on her desk, and buried her head there, sobbing.

Avi got up and locked the doors behind her. She passed some empty glass bottles and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't say anything until Virka spoke.

“Why did you come here?” - She asked.

“I was worried.” - Avi repeated once more.

“About someone who isn't worth it.”

“About a friend.”

Virka grabbed a bottle from underneath the desk, then began to drink, ignoring Avi.

“Virka... I don't think what you do is good for your health.” - Avi advised.

“Did you come to lecture me?” - Virka replied.- “If yes, you can leave.”

“I came because I want to support you.” - Avi gently informed. - “The same way, you once helped me.”

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“Then you hurried too much.”

“I don't think so. You would drink until you're no longer conscious.”

“That's still my plan.” - It was clear Virka didn't care about the consequences.

“Are you haunted by guilt?” - Avi asked.

Instead of replying, Virka drank a large swig.

Avi continued. - “I know how it feels, but you have shown me that despite everything, I can still leave my room and do good.” - Then she added a bit quieter. - “Even if... I sometimes fail. Even if we often can't help everyone.”

Virka put the bottle aside. - “Avi, give it a rest. It's beyond my strength.”

“You helped to get me out of the Prison of Aeon, and you are helping Luna.” - Avi spoke. - “You might have moments of weakness, but you're stronger than you think.”

“No, Avi. It's the opposite. I only occasionally have short moments of strength, and I'm a wreck all the other time.” - Virka uttered. - “I can't live like this.”

Avi lowered her eyes. - “I understand. I might be the wrong person to do it, but I would like to ask you once more not to give up. We need you.”

“I'm aware of that.” - Virka replied, her heart aching. - “I'll pull myself together before we reach the next system.”

“Virka, that's not what I meant.” - Avi clarified. - “You are one of us.”

Virka turned to Avi, her gaze empty and powerless. - “Avi. I'll remember our journey together, but it's nothing but an attempt to escape my past. Soon, I'll have to confront it and then... then you'll understand... and...” - Virka paused, her voice shaking. - “...decide if what you call friendship was ever true.”

Avi firmly assured. - “I don't know what's inside your head, but I'll repeat it as many times as necessary. Even if you were to run ten thousand light-years away, you will not break our bond.”

There was evident sadness in Virka's voice. - “I can't run away from you. I've tried. Like the gravity of the last star, you pull everything closer.” - She rested her head on the desk, lowering her eyes. - “Even the heart that Khazan ripped out of my chest. That's why...” - She closed her eyes, unable to hold back tears. - “...when I open it in front of you, I pray for you not to condemn me.”

“Virka...” - Avi uttered. - “...you know I won't do that.”

Virka buried her face in her arms again. She didn't want to answer, at least until she felt Avi's warm embrace.

“I'll be waiting for you.” - Avi assured.

That strange comfort silenced Virka's thoughts for a short time, and she could only hear their shared heartbeat. She let this quiet moment stay and gazed beyond the window, to the light of the closest star. She felt as if a cold icicle pierced her chest, and Avi's warmth was gone, despite her still being there for her. Yet, in that very moment, she felt Avi squeezing her even tighter.

“I forbid you to ever forget.” - Avi added. The most update n0vels are published on novel[f]ire.net

“It hurts, Avi.” - Virka complained.

Avi relaxed her embrace and smiled reassuringly. Virka sighed and got up, then began to collect empty bottles and put them inside her bar. Her arm reached for unfinished wine under the desk, but her fingers met Avi's hand.

“Allow me to help.” - Avi suggested. - “And if you would like, we can finish 'The Faraway Place' in the evening.”

“Sounds okay...” - Virka said, utterly tired. - “...but tell everyone that I won't join the dinner. I have to get myself looking presentable.”

Afterwards, when both girls finished tidying the room up, Avi hugged Virka again before leaving. When she disappeared, Virka moved her finger to a hidden scanner under her desk and unlocked a small secret compartment. She took out a box with two pills and lay on her bed, then slowly rotated it in her hand, gazing at the contents.

“Stars, tell me. Is it punishment for my sins?” - She whispered. - “If I start to believe in salvation, will you condemn me ever more?”