Maniac’s Mayhem

sometimes you should not judge a book by its cover. other times you shoot that book before it can open it nasty pages and bite you.

--young Samurai after getting out of a model nine den.

I look up from the holo screen to check on the loud noise. Finding Cali on the ground, giggling wildly with Daisy right on top of her, scattered around them the shattered remains of some kind of vase. Faith quickly swoops in, picking up the hyena and child to clean up the remains of the ceramics.

As I try to go back to work, I check up on the others, noticing that Apocalypse is nodding off, Yun Min and Sam are whispering in each other’s ears and by their blush I assume it is not about what we are working on. To my surprise, the only one that still seems to be working, staring hard at her screen, is Magenta.

I clear my throat, “Let’s wrap up for today; it seems like everyone has reached the edge of their concentration.”

Everyone makes noises of affirmation, as some of them give me an abashed look.

“Let’s summarise what we got. Who wants to go first?” I ask with the same delight teachers must have when they put their students on the spot.

Magenta raises her hand, and I give her a short nod. “Though we are not sure everyone on this list is a victim of this Samurai Hunter, we have a small list indicating about seventeen potential victims.”

“That many?” Faith asks in surprise.

Magenta nods. “Like I said, I am not sure all of these would be their doing, but it seems likely.”

I smile at Faith. “They probably went under the radar for a while, you know. A Samurai dying by a gun could be a hunter or just a gang getting confident.”

Faith nods slowly, walking back over to the kids.

“Do we have a list of potential weapons all the assumed victims would have had access to?” I ask.

“Yes, I have it,” Sam says with a smile. “Hugo Barendrecht went missing six weeks ago; nickname Eraser specialised in dimensional shunting weaponry. So if I had to guess, that is where they got the weapon they used on the Dread Queen from.”

I nod, “That is a good start. Any other potentially dangerous weapons we should be aware of?”

Sam nods slowly, grabbing her holograpic screen and turning it around and enlarging it for everyone else to see. “Maya Lancer, nickname The Red Tyrant, could control blood and had some magnesium stuff.”

I blink, “And you think this hunter can use her tech?”

“We have not properly disabled everything, but the launching mechanism and such might have came from her.” Sam confirms.

“Then why did she not take anything for Angy?” Alia asks.

“Who?” I ask, not being familiar with the name.

“Dread Queen, her name was Angelica, but I called her Angy.” Apocalypse continues.

“The corpse was in the open, and this hunter is careful. They would not go to her corpse to collect stuff, but that does not mean this hunter could not have raided some other places while everyone was distracted.” Yun Min cuts in.

“So we assume this hunter got gear from most Samurai they killed, but not from all of them.” Magenta concludes.

“Everyone needs to make a living, and it becomes a lot easier when you have Samurai tech.” I point out.

“What makes a person become a Samurai Hunter in the first place?” Cierra asks.

Yun Min huffs. “Here, Samurai might be better, but back home, I could give you a lot of reasons why you might want one death.”

“But aren’t Samurai supposed to be good?” Cierra argues.

“By the metric of an alien race we know nothing about,” Sam says, pointing a finger at me for some reason.

I stick my tongue out at her. “That, and someone can start out good and become more morally grey the longer they are fighting, going numb to the cries of others. Killing the one to save the many.”

“I mean, yeah,” Cierra says. “And that is bad, but sometimes it is unavoidable.”

“Sure, but if that one is your lover or child, your perspective on it might be slightly different.” I point out.

“Is that then something we should look into?” Magenta asks.

I shrug. “Maybe, but even if this is their motive, that does not mean that their first or even latest target was the Samurai they hate. That Samurai might still be alive and too powerful to touch for now.”

“So they're building their strength?” Yun Min asks.

I smile. “Of all the things we are not sure of, that is the one I am at least confident in. The Dread Queen was most likely an escalation. Something they have built up to.”

“So do you expect there to be more kills that are on the level of the Dread Queen?” Magenta asks.

“Probably not. The Dread Queen is unique in that she is known not to associate much with other Samurai. Meaning a relatively safer kill than most other high-profile Samurai.” I explain.

“So who will be the next target then?” Faith asks, still listening in to the conversation.

“Probably none of us; we have too many Samurai hanging around us to make it feasible, but other than that I don’t know. Besides being Samurai, I don’t know what these people have in common. They use different weapons and operate in different areas.”

Everyone stays quiet for a while, thinking about it until a small child’s voice shouts out. “They are all evil.”

I look up at Cali with a smile. “And what makes them so evil?”

Cali lets out a sigh, looking at me like I am stupid for not knowing this. “Dread Queen, Eraser, Red Tyrant, those are all villain names.”

I pause, giving Sam a look. “Lead Dead, Pain Maker, Green Devil, Extinguish, Faker, Eraser, Night Screamer, Paw Patrol, Null, Red Tyrant, Breaker, Slice & Dice, Nightmare, Conquest, Dr. Eternal, Dread Queen.”

“Paw Patrol?” Cierra asks.

“Lots of people think cops are evil,” Yun Min points out.

“Could also be a false positive; she could have just died and not been one of the targets.” Magenta points out.

I nod slowly, “So the next target will be someone with a villain name. I guess that narrows it down a bit.” Then I grin. “And luckily none of us have Villain names.”

“Okay, sure, I see the pattern too.” Magenta says, looking surprised “But why?”

“Because if you are good, you have to fight evil.” Cali shouts out again, making my heart stop for a second as I come up with a theory I don't like.

“Sure, but these Samurai are not evil; only a child would think that,” Magenta counters.

“Then what if this Samurai hunter is a child,” I say, almost in a whisper.

Everyone goes really quiet after that as they let the information sink in.

“That is impossible,” Magenta finally says. “It can't be right.”

“I was 10 when I hacked into New Hope's servers. And sure, I made a lot of mistakes, but I got in. So a kid smart enough and properly motivated? Sure, why not?” I slowly point out.

“But why would a kid want to kill Samurai?”

I shrug. “Samurai accidentally killed their parents, or they went to a Samurai-sponsored school or orphanage and were abused there, blaming the Samurai for not doing anything,” I say slowly, thinking of a thousand reasons.

Magenta slowly nods, “So the person we are trying to find is a child?”

“We are not sure.” I say with a smile. “But it is a possibility, one that I would not necessarily discount.”

“This sucks,” Magenta says with a groan. “How can the two of you do this all day?”

“Well, because it pays good,” Sam says without a hint of shame. “I guess trying to solve a puzzle is also fun.”

“I remember that for your next performance review,” Cierra says in a low tone.

“You can’t fire me; my girl owns this place,” Sam says, putting her arms around Yun Min’s neck and sticking her tongue out.

Cierra crosses her legs and gives her a thin smile. “That does not mean I can’t get my girl to fire you out of a cannon.”

Sam turns to me with a betrayed look. “You wouldn't.”

I give her a pained look. “Well, you see, I don’t like sleeping on the couch.”

Before Sam can give me a retort our doorbell goes off, and everyone turns to the door.

“Were we expecting someone?” I ask Cierra.

“No, but that does not mean much.” She answers.

I nod and stand up, walking to the door and open it. A child in a dark blue coat and hair as white as snow stands on the other side. After two seconds of confusion, my brain jumps back to the previous conversation about the hunters' age, and I jump back as my body goes as cold as ice, taking a defensive position.

The child just gives me a flat look as she walks in. “Good, you’re home.”

I blink a few times in surprise as the brat continues to walk into my living room. “And who in the world are you?”

The brat turns around. “I am Angelica, though most people know me as the Dread Queen. I died today, and you are investigating my death, isn’t that right?”

I blink again, checking my biochip to see if I am having a stroke or some other type of hearing problem. “The Dread Queen? The one that controls millions of zombies is a little brat.”

The brat gives her first expression of emotion at that by frowning at me. “I am not a little brat.”

“Girl, you're smaller than me, that automatically makes you little.” I point out.

Her eyes narrow. “Then what about the brat part?”

Instead of answering, I just give her a pointed look. The brat holds my gaze for a few seconds before turning around in a huff and continuing into the living room.

Our princess looks up as we approach. “Love, who is this?”

“Just some little brat that does not know what manners are,” I answer.

“What?!” Sputters the little brat.

Princess looks at me. “You do know that we are not a daycare, right?”

“Well, at least you can tell that the two of you are married,” The little brat comments.

My Princess blushes slightly at that and turns away.

“So have you made any progress on my murder?” The brat asks the room, making most of the room give her a weird look.

“Wait, are you Angy?” The devil asks, looking at the brat in surprise.

“I am, Alia. How have you been?” The brat answers.

“Awful, you asshole! I thought you were dead” The devil says as she runs up to give the brat a hug as tears stream from her face.

“So the Dread Queen is not dead.” Sam concludes.

“I think they call this undead.” Yun Min answers sagely.

I just give my princess a look. “I guess there are even more people for dinner”

My princess nods, “Yeah. Take out?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Lyssa out then.”