Maniac’s Mayhem

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to waterboard a fox"

"Which one?"

"Yes."

-A certain Samurai after waking up with fox ears.

I walk into the living room to get ready for another day of whatever crazy stuff my new household will bring. Not that I mind the chaos of it. Compared to a year ago, when I was alone in a company-supplied apartment. Having three cute kids running around makes it a lot more lively, making me not feel alone anymore. On top of that, my fiancé and I are now on a better page, and I have a cute girlfriend.

All in all things were going up with some slight hiccups. Which would mean that life was about to deliver another asskicking, which made me slightly nervous.

When I head towards the kitchen, I hear someone in the living room teaching the alphabet. Something that makes me realise that we do at some point need to think about the girls' education. I mean, we could always beam the info into their brains with dive programs, but I wasn’t so sure that was a good idea for their social skills. Then again, having one of the reds stab a kid would probably be a bigger issue.

I head behind the kitchen island to give Cierra a kiss as she was handing out food to our children. I pause, our children, who were in the kitchen. So who was being taught their letters in the living room? I glance over. Finding a woman who has straight black hair, with a pair of black wings and cat legs from the thigh down. The woman is currently trying to teach Daisy how to read.

I turn back to Cierra. “Who is the crazy lady?”

“That would be you.” Cierra answers without looking up.

“You know what, fair,” I say with a grin. “I meant the one on the couch.”

“Oh, that is Faith, your sister.” Cierra says again.

I blink again, wondering if I missed something, but I was pretty sure that neither one of my parents fucked a cat or a harpy. “What?”

“Do you know how many kids Luna has?” Cierra asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” I say carefully, “but you asking me that makes me believe that the number is unreasonably large.”

I look at the girl again, and with Luna’s fox stuff and Maddie's red panda stuff, it could work out like that, I guess. It would at least explain the cat ears.

“Unreasonable for a normal person, sure.” Cierra confirms. “Though Luna does have Samurai stuff, so probably be fine.”

“She is trying to teach our pet hyena how to read.” I point out.

“What is wrong with that?” Faith asks from the couch, jumping into the conversation for the first time.

“Mostly the fact that she already knows how to read.” I point out to her, to which Daisy lets out a little chuckle.

The cat harpy looks back at Daisy. “Is that why she was reading over my shoulder?”

“No, that was a threat assessment.” I say in a blank tone. “She was checking if she could fit your shoulder into her mouth to possibly disable it.”

Faith shrugs, "Hmm... Well, good luck to her on getting through my scales.”

“Scales?” I ask in surprise. “What kind of weird Kaiju are you? Did Mum fuck an entire zoo or something?

Faith tilts her head to one side. "No, I was adopted? And at this point, I think I'm closer to being more dragon than human."

I look at the mostly cat girl. “I know Mom is a bit crazy and that can affect, you know, development, but honey, dragons are not real.”

Faith gives Daisy a gentle pat on the head before standing up to her... is that her full height? I grin. So it seems I am not the smallest in the family. She then grins, and her wings change from black to gold, her cat ears into a crown of horns, her skin into golden scales, and her hands and feet tipped in claws.

I open the hologram software and quickly turn my skin blue, put two feathery wings on my lower back, and a halo above my head. “You do realize that does not prove anything right?” I say as I hear Cierra groan behind me. Complaining about inappropriate spots.

Faith shrugs. "I mean, I didn't use the hologram suite built into your apartment, and according to Meya, you did."

“Did the discount toaster also tell you that I am not here at all,” I point out while shaking my head.

Faith blinks. "So that's why so many of your vital signs aren't registering. I thought you just had really good stealth tech. But yeah, I don't know what I can do to convince you otherwise. But also, if you want me to leave, I can. I mostly came to visit since I got a wedding invitation for a sister I hadn't met yet and figured I should do that part first. Make sure I'm, y'know, actually wanted there and all that..."

As the cat's little tail drops, I can almost feel the icy glare my fiancé is giving me. “No, I don’t want you to leave, just, you know, sit and have breakfast.” I gesture toward the table. “And don’t pee in the litter box."

Faith snorts. "I still use toilets, dingus. And uhhh, sure." She turns back to address Daisy, "And I can teach you a language you might not know next time if you'd want, okay?"

I can’t say I am the best at reading Daisy’s expressions, but I am pretty sure even she is questioning the woman’s intelligence. Not that her smarts actually matter; as long as she is a good person, she will be a good influence on the kids.

As Faith sits down at the table, there is a knock on our newly installed front door. Something we put in after the incident. I shrug and stand up, heading to the door to figure out who could possibly be here at this hour.

To my surprise, however, when I open the door, I find the red skinned demon.

“I need your help in burying a body.” Apocalypse says as she walks inside.

“Right, sure, where is it?” I ask, looking outside and missing the distinct signs of a crime scene.

“Sorry, right,” Alia say turning to me. “So I need you to find me someone so I can kill them and we can bury them.”

“So not just tampering with evidence but the whole premeditated thing,” I conclude. “Why do we want this person dead?”

“They killed my friend,” she says, looking at me almost looking desperate. “So, you going to help?”

I nod, walking forward and giving the girl a hug. “I was never not going to help you. Just needed more details.”

“Details, why?” the teen asks as she shakes slightly.

I smile, “Well, from what I glimpse from the conversation, you don’t know who it is. So I need a lot of details to find them.”

“Right, so what do you need to know?” Alia asks.

“Everything you have, but let's sit down first,” I say, guiding her to the living room couch. “Do you want something to drink? Hot chocolate?”

“I am not a kid, and it is summer.” The girl says, giving me a pout.

I give her an unimpressed look, raising my eyebrow. “So?”

“With marshmallows please.” She says, turning her gaze to the floor.

“I got this,” my new sister chirps from the kitchen as she takes out an elaborate pot.

I go sit down across from Apocalypse, pulling out some light snacks with some points. “So, first, are you willing to tell me what happened?”

“I don’t really know,” Alia says, looking all around her for answers. “Just that they were killed. It looked like Samurai tech but could not be.”

“Why do you think it could be a samurai?” I ask, finding that bit the most interesting.

She shrugs. “The weapon used some kind of dimension shunting, then again, it also looks, uhm, not as clean.” The girl sighs, “I don’t know how to explain it. I brought it. It’s downstairs if you want to look.”

I smile and send out a message for people to do just that. “I will, thank you; that would help a lot already.”

Alia smiles a bit and gives me a nod. “Thanks, anything else?”

“Well, as much as you got. What was their name? Where did it happen?” I continue.

We spent some time slowly going over the details of the Dread Queen's murder. From location to timing and execution. While explaining, Apocalypse seems to relax a bit more, look less wound up due to a combination of Snowball playing lapdog, and Faith giving her a cup of hot coco that was stacked with all kind of nonsense.

“So, what do you think?” Alia asks after we have been quiet for a while.

“A lot,” I say, getting an unimpressed groan from Cierra, who decided to sit next to me while Faith was playing some board game with the kids.

“Right, so I did some searching in the databases of… you know where I am looking is not important, but they believe there is a Samurai hunter in Europe.” I explain.

“And you think that same hunter did this?” Alia asks, looking unconvinced.

I shrug. “Unless she has any other big enemies we don’t know about? Yes.”

“Should we be concerned about this Samurai hunter?” Cierra asks, sounding concerned as she looks at the children.

I pause, thinking about it for a bit. “Not yet. This person or group seems to be slowly escalating. Going from smaller Samurai to bigger ones.”

“Isn’t Dread Queen a rather big Samurai?” Cierra asks, sounding unconvinced.

“Yes, but she is also known to be alone, so it’s a safer hit, so to say, than one of us or the Nightingale Brigade.” I point out.

Alia does not seem happy about that, but still nods. “So, who is it? Another Samurai?”

“I don’t think so. At least their equipment seems to be repurposed rather than, you know, custom bought." I point out, looking over the specs of the weapon Apocalypse brought.

“Is that good?” Alia asks.

I sigh, “I don’t think so,”

“Why not?” Cierra asks, sounding surprised. “Would you rather be fighting a Samurai?”

I shrug, “In a normal fight, no, because in a straight up fight I would have the advantage. The problem is that this Samurai hunter knows this.”

“Hmm, when you know your enemy is stronger, you are twice as prepared,” Alia confirms.

I lean back. “Right, and that brings us to the fundamental problem of who it is and what makes them pick their target, and how fast do they escalate?”

“Right, and how do we find those things out?” Alia asks.

“Well, same as how you find most things; you do research.” I say with a smile as I contact some people. “Be ready to be here for a while.”