Maniac’s Mayhem

(Shinobu)

Why? Why does everything have to go wrong? We finally had a place to stay, a place that was not bad, a place where we got good food. I… we believed that it was over, that we would be happy, that we were allowed to play games and not fight anymore.

But it wasn’t true. The weird woman that said she loved us is kissing someone else, not the woman taking care of us, the one who would cook dinner; she betrayed her. Why? I want to be happy. Why is she like this?

Before I can even stop myself, we have already grabbed the knife and plunged it into her chest between the ribs, right where her heart should be.

Suddenly, a white blur appears, dragging us back in an instant. I take a stronger hold on the knife, twisting ourselves around to try and stab my attacker. The knife shatters into a thousand tiny pieces, however, when it hits the woman’s skin.

“Stop!” the voice of the woman I thought we could trust rings out.

We slowly turn around to look at the woman that just shouted. She looks angry with a scary scowl. But surprisingly, the angry face is not aimed at me, which is strange; usually people would blame us and give the punishment to me.

“Mom, let her go.” The woman says in a low tone.

The hand that is holding us lets go of me, and we take that moment to bolt away on all fours back to our room where I am safe. I grab my blanket and roll it around ourselves, putting us in the corner with my back against the wall so I can see all the ways the enemy could approach me.

The door to my room slowly opens, and the spotted hyena walks in at a sedate pace, making its way to me. We grab onto her, nuzzling our face against her soft fur.

“I messed up, very bad, I don’t want to leave,” I cry into the fur of the beast.

The beast makes a chuffing sound as it starts licking me. I stay like that for a bit, trying my best to dry my tears as I let my hands sink into the softness.

I hear a knock on the door, then it slowly opens, revealing the blonde woman who had been taking care of us, the one that was betrayed. She holds the white fox in her arms; it’s dangling there like it's hanging from a window.

“Can I come in?” the woman asks, her soft blue eyes glowing softly in my dark room.

“It's the nice one,” my sister says in my mind.

I nod slowly, and the woman walks further into the room, sitting down on the bed while putting the fox in her lap. “You know, I am really happy right now.” The woman says.

I slowly look up at her in confusion. “Why?”

“Because you called me Mum,” she says with a brilliant smile.

“Why?” We ask again, still not getting any of it.

The woman smiles at me again. “That is hard to explain, but I promise you will find out when you have your own children.”

I consider that for a bit and still don’t get it but if calling her Mum makes her happy, then that is what we shall do. Since having the adults be happy is always a lot safer than having them be angry. I look back up at Mum who is still smiling at me.

“But we did bad.” I bring up to Mum, wanting to get this all over with.

“No, uhm, well yes, but it is not that bad and mostly our fault. We should have explained things better and not have left a knife out in the first place. I am sorry,” Mum says with a smile, reaching out a hand and putting it on top of my head.

“I… but… uh…” We try to get out.

“You still need punishment though,” the woman says, raising one figure. “As punishment, no ice cream for one day.”

That… that had to be wrong, right? She probably meant to say year and said day on accident. That was it, right?

“What about cookies?” my sister speaks up through our mouth before I can stop her.

“Hmm, you’re right, maybe just one cookie.” The woman says ruffling my hair.

“Okay,” I say. Maybe Cali was right. Maybe this place is different.

“So, do you want to know who that woman was?” Mum asks after we have been silent for a while.

“Claire,” I say, “she gave me that.” I say, pointing at the plush cat.

Mum smiles, picking up the cat from where it was lying on the bed. “It’s really soft. Do you like it?”

I slowly nod; we never got gifts before, so it was hard to make sense of it, but it was nice. “Yes, we like it.”

Mum smiles, patting the spot beside her. “Want to sit with me and talk?”

I slowly stand up, dragging the blankets with me as I walk to the bed and put myself down beside her. Mum smiles softly at me, handing me the white fox who immediately starts to cuddle into me.

“So Claire is my girlfriend, do you know what that means?” Mum asks me.

I shake my head, looking down. “Not really.”

“A girlfriend or boyfriend is someone you love and that you want to spend time with. Someone you want to exchange kisses and hugs with.” Mum explains.

“But uhm, aren’t that, we thought there was only supposed to be one person,” I question, thinking back at all the conversations we overheard at the facility. “Are you not supposed to love only one person?”

Mum lets out a chuckle. “Sorry, I did not mean to laugh, but take it from someone with some experience in only loving one person, it is not good for you. You should love many people, just not in the same way.”

I frown at her. How is that possible? When you love more than one, it's called cheating, and when people cheat bad things happen. Bad things happen to us.

I suddenly feel a hand on top of my head. “Shinon, I love you.” Huh? How? Why? “I love Calliope and I love Evelin, though my love for her is a bit different from the love I have for you two. There are many ways to love someone, like different levels, and the more people you love, the more people will love you back.” She punctuates the statement by slightly bopping my nose.

“I don’t, uhm, I don’t get it,” I say, feeling tears well up again.

“That is okay, honey,” she says, wiping my tears. “Then can I ask you something?”

I nod slowly.

“Do you love Snowball?” She asks, petting the fox in my lap.

I nod. “Yes.”

“Do you love Daisy?” She continues pointing at the hyena on the floor that is giving us pleading eyes.

“Yes.”

“Do you love your sister?” Mum asks, giving us an imploring look.

“Yes, of course.” I say, my sister has always been with me, the person I needed to protect the most.

“So that is already three people.” Mum says with a smile. “And do you think your sister is angry at you for loving Snowball or Daisy?”

“No, I love them too!” my sister practically shouts in my brain.

I shake my head.

“I know you struggle with relationships and how they work, so feel free to take your time and ask questions. Just know that Evelin and I love you and will take care of you.” She says as she stands up from the bed and starts fluffing up the pillows, “you should sleep.” She says with a smile, gently coaxing me to lay down.

“Even though I am not like Cali?” I ask, still thinking about the gnawing uncertainties.

“In what way are you not like Cali?” Mum asks, straightening the blanket over me.

“She looks like Evelin. She has the same face and the same eyes. We are just extra.” I say, speaking aloud the uncertainties. They are good people, so when they took Cali of course they took us too but why would they want to keep us?

“Oh, honey, we don’t think like that at all. We love you both equally. To us, you are both our children, and if you think about it, aren't our eyes also similar? They’re both blue,” Mum says, putting Snowball next to me on the pillow.

“But they are different kinds of blue.” I point out.

“True, but that does not make me love you any less.” Mum says kissing my forehead. “I’ll leave Snowball here with you so she can protect you at night.”

I reach out a hand to pet the fox. Snowball, seeing that as an invitation to dive into the blankets with me, stretches her long body against me while rubbing her head over me, making me all giggly. Mum slowly stands up and walks towards the door.

“Goodnight, and I'll see you tomorrow.” She says, opening the door and only looking back for a moment. “I love you.”

As the door closes, I am left with this warm and unfamiliar feeling in my chest. I wrap my hands around Snowball a bit tighter and inhale her pine needle scent.

“I don’t understand.” I whisper to the fox, who in response just licks my face.