Chapter 195 : Chapter 195
Chapter 195: The Princess Cannot Sleep (6)
Seeing Lily who came to find her alone, Lilith showed a startled reaction.
"That child..."
After hearing that the guard had earnestly requested it, Lilith showed a somewhat complex expression.
It seemed like a mix of apologies toward the two people, and joy that she obtained this opportunity thanks to them.
"It seems he has been serving you ever since that day."
"...Yes. That's right."
Perhaps because of that, Lilith answered Lily's question in a very cautious tone.
Noticing this, Lily spoke cautiously as well.
"Even if there hadn't been their request... I probably would have come back here again. ...Because I, too, wanted to talk with you a bit more."
So there was no need to worry about it.
Of course, in Lily's voice saying this, a sense of distance could still be felt, but.
"......I see."
Lilith, who was already sufficiently happy with just that, tried hard to hide her emotions.
"Most of the children saved from beyond the Wall didn't have a proper place to go, so I let them work in the castle if possible."
Perhaps to do that, she turned the topic of conversation back to Lily's question from a moment ago.
"In that child's case, it was practically the same as a situation where she had lost the will to live and was refusing food and drink. Even after bringing her here, it was the same situation for a while, but I first helped that child accept herself and stand up. That child must have been very grateful for that."
Lilith smiled broadly as if a memory had come to mind and spoke.
"Perhaps that's why she became the subordinate who dedicates the most loyalty to me. Now, I am receiving far more help than what I gave that day."
Isn't that the case even now, Lilith muttered softly and added.
"Accepting, oneself."
Meanwhile, perhaps because those passing words continued to bother her, Lily muttered as if ruminating on the meaning.
"But she... looked like she hasn't fully accepted herself, yet..."
"...Do you mean the 「Disguise」?"
Lily slowly nodded.
"Is there a reason... she always goes around like a pureblood Succubus?"
At Lily's question, Lilith, who showed a bitter expression, soon let out a small sigh.
"After all, the perception of half-demons is... not much different beyond the Wall or on this side."
"...Then as expected, is it because they are targets of persecution?"
"Whether they inherited half or half of that, as long as the instincts as a Succubus have manifested, that person is a Succubus. They are our kin. So I tried to create an atmosphere where at least the children under my command don't discriminate between purebloods and half-bloods... but regrettably, the outside isn't like that."
Lilith continued bitterly.
"I told her truly many times that when it's just us, at least within this castle, she doesn't strictly need to maintain the 「Disguise」... but that child's will was too strong. Saying she didn't want to cause any trouble for me, for us."
"So, always like that..."
"Saying that if it's known that a mixed-blood with a human is mixed among the close subordinates, other forces would certainly badmouth us... It's unfortunate, but that child's words are true."
Saying a Succubus is an existence that must not show even a little flaw, Lilith let out a hollow laugh.
"Because demons and humans alike, they all already treat us as... vulgar existences with flaws by birth. If even a little flaw is shown, they say 'I knew it would be like that', at any time."
"That is..."
"No matter how much I make those who say such things in front of me unable to speak anymore, even if I rise to the position of Corps Commander and become an existence they dare not look up to... those who spout such vulgar sounds just never disappear."
Seeing Lilith scoffing as if she was truly sick of it, Lily lowered her head for a moment.
Looking back, she realized that she had received similar 'teachings'.
"I... knew that the blood of the demon race flowed in me, but the fact that it was the blood of a Succubus... I didn't know for a long time."
Perhaps because of that, Lily who was speaking like this suddenly shook her lowered head.
"...No, thinking about it now, rather than not knowing, I probably didn't want to believe it. ...After the urges started to manifest, honestly, there was no way I couldn't have known."
She prayed that please, let it not be a Succubus, Lily said.
Because she learned that all 'devils' were evil and should be avoided, but among them, especially lustful demons like Succubi were even promiscuous, so she received teachings that they were existences that must absolutely be avoided.
Hearing those words, Lilith made a pitying expression and let out a short sigh again.
"We are creatures that need the vitality of others to survive. That is, clearly, an unchanging fact."
Then she spoke in a firm tone.
"It's just that the way we survive is different from others. They just fit that into their own standards and arbitrarily say we are promiscuous or whatever."
So there is no need to be ashamed at all, Lilith said.
"If we look at it the same way from our standards, other races are races that cling to 'gluttony' more than necessary. But do they say themselves that they are committing the sin of 'gluttony'? No. Then we aren't exactly committing the sin of 'lust' either."
"Is, that so?"
"That is so."
Then, Lilith realized that she had approached very close to Lily while talking, and hurriedly kept the same distance as the beginning.
"...I'm sorry. I don't have the qualifications to teach you like this."
"Ah, no...!"
At this, Lily also hurriedly waved her hand.
"...I think you are right. We are just different, that is it."
"...Yes. We are just different."
"...Thank you. It was something I really needed to hear."
As if wanting to prove that it wasn't empty talk, Lily showed a faint smile.
Seeing this, Lilith also showed a small smile.
Certainly, the appearance of those two people resembled each other.
For a moment, silence continued in that state.
Lilith appeared unable to bring herself to speak first, and eventually, the one who broke that silence was Lily.
"Then my name, the two of you decided it together."
"Yes. ...He came up with it. Saying he hoped you would resemble me, and wanted to give a similar name."
"...Then it turned out, as he wished."
"...Yes. It did."
"But may I ask... why you never call me by my name...?"
"That is......"
Lilith could not continue her words easily, like a person who was unexpectedly stabbed in the heart of the matter.
But perhaps thinking it was an answer she couldn't avoid eventually, she finally opened her mouth carefully again.
"...Because I don't know if I have the qualification to do that."
At those words, this time Lily showed a bitter smile.
Then after seeming to ponder for a moment.
"...To tell you honestly,"
Just as Lilith had done a moment ago, this time Lily opened her mouth carefully again.
"Whether I can treat you as a mother... I, too, don't know well yet."
"......Yes. I understand."
"But... you have been protecting me all this time, haven't you?"
"...I tried, to do so."
Saying that she actually couldn't do so by her side, and even during the truly important times, Lilith added in a tone drenched in self-reproach.
However, Lily shook her head from side to side.
"Still, thanks to you protecting me, I was able to grow up safely in that village."
"That is..."
"If I didn't have your protection, so if I had realized the fact that I was a Succubus... a bit earlier... I definitely wouldn't have been able to stay in that village."
If that happened, she wouldn't have met her current companions either.
Lily said.
"I am truly grateful for that part. So..."
She doesn't know yet if she can accept her as a mother, but.
"Calling me by the name you personally gave me... I don't dislike it at all."
Let's start from there.
"Because I... will try, too."
For now, starting from calling each other.
At those words, Lilith swallowed her breath for an instant.
Then not long after.
"...Thank you."
She expressed her gratitude with a trembling voice.
"......Lily."
As if still very shy, she barely mouthed her name.
And it wasn't just her voice that was trembling like that.
In her similarly shaking eyes, tears were welling up before she knew it.
Seeing this, Lily chuckled, and soon approached Lilith's side stealthily.
"I now know who I resemble to have so many tears."
While doing so, she slowly reached out one hand as if to wipe the tears welling up in Lilith's eyes.
But it rather had the opposite effect, and soon the tears flowing from Lilith's eyes became something that could no longer be fully wiped away with Lily's small hands.
"I, have a lot of things I want to ask."
Lily spoke while holding a much more benevolent smile as if trying to calm Lilith down.
"As, ask anything."
Then Lilith nodded hurriedly and tried to stop crying.
If others saw that expression of Lily looking at Lilith like that, they would surely think it was an older sister taking care of a younger sister rather than a daughter soothing a mother.
"If it's something I can answer, I will answer anything."
However, no matter how it looked on the outside, the two people were in a mother-daughter relationship.
"Which Angel brought me here?"
"......Yes? A, Angel?"
Otherwise, there wouldn't be a situation of asking or receiving a question like, 'How was I born?'.
"Babies, Angels bring them, right?"
Pure doubt.
A fundamental question that most children ask their parents at least once.
But for Lily, who never had the chance to ask, she must have chosen this question as part of that effort to restore the relationship between the two who had been far apart for so long.
Let's start with that natural conversation they should have shared when she was young.
It must have been a consideration in her own way.
"......?"
The problem was, as soon as she heard that question, Lilith just froze.
"Angel, you say......"
To the point that even the tears that she tried hard to stop but couldn't stop until just now, really went right back in.
"Wa, wait, wait a moment, Lily... Right now, are you saying that... seriously......?"
Lilith was appalled.
Because it was a question that she had no choice but to be astonished at as a mother, as a Succubus Queen, no, just as a single person.
"Yes? I, I'm serious...?"
Seeing Lily's expression that she truly didn't know why she was showing such a reaction, Lilith eventually opened her mouth wide and was appalled.
Then she abruptly grabbed Lily's hand, which she hadn't dared to touch even after Lily approached her first.
"──Follow me, Lily."
At the same time as she jumped up from her seat.
At Lilith's sudden change, this time Lily was surprised enough to flinch.
"Yes? Fo, follow you..."
"There is something I somehow have to teach you. No, I must teach you."
"No, now?"
"Yes, now. Right now. It can't be any later. It's already too late. I can't just watch this as it is anymore."
"Wh, what in the world..."
Lilith spoke firmly.
"As expected of Clerics... I never imagined they wouldn't have taught you anything to this extent...!"
"E, excuse me..."
"Babies are not brought by Angels, Lily."
"......Yes, yees?"
"Follow me. I will teach you everything step by step today. Clearly I don't have the qualification to act as a mother, but this is something I must do as the Queen of Succubi... no, just as an adult who is older than you."
"......??"
From Lilith speaking firmly, a will to teach the correct knowledge within today no matter what could be felt.
However, Lilith eventually could not take Lily.
Rumble──
Because a large vibration shook the castle to the extent that Lily, who was trying to follow and stand up, stumbled for a moment.