Craved by the Wrong Volkov

Braelyn’s POV

" Please, Lynn. Just this once," he whispered begging dearly. How could I refuse when he was looking at me that way?

Tears blurred everything, but I still tried. I still forced my face to change, even though it felt wrong and impossible. It came out broken, ugly, nothing like a smile should be. My face was covered in tears and snort.

My smile must have pleased him because he still laughed softly.

"Thank you, Lynn," he said softly, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "I missed your smile." He admitted that his gaze shifted slightly, like he was looking past me for a moment.

"I hope Lucien is the one for you," he said quietly. "I hope he does not make my mistakes. He is the closest thing I ever had to a brother." his voice trailed. It felt like his final words.

My throat tightened. His voice was fading now, slipping between words.

"And if there is another life," he said, "I wish I could know you again. Even if we are not lovers." My hand pressed harder against him as if I could hold him here by force alone.

"Stop," I whispered. "Stop talking like that. Help is here. You are going to be fine." I repeated even though I didn’t believe my words. We were in a large pool of blood. The blood kept pouring. I didn’t dare pull out the blade and I tried stopping the flow as I held him but it was pointless.

But he did not respond to that..His hand stayed on my cheek for a moment longer, then slowly lost strength.

"I am tired, Lynn," he said. "Let me close my eyes a bit. It hurts." he cried with tears rolling down his face.

"I loved you, Lynn. Even if I didn’t do it properly. This is me letting you go.." his final words dropped.

"Do not you dare," I said, my voice breaking completely. "Raphael, do not close your eyes. I am here. I am smiling. I forgive you. Please."

But his eyes were still closed like the world was pulling him away from me and I could not hold on no matter how hard I tried.

"No," I whispered. "No, no, no. Raphael, open your eyes."

His hand slipped from my face and his body went still..I froze for a second, like my mind refused to accept what my eyes already knew.

Then it hit.

" Please, why do you keep hurting me in unimaginable ways, Raphael?" I screamed resting my head on his chest. His heart was slowing down. I clutched him tighter. "Don’t do this to me. Don’t die like this."

My voice broke completely.

"I hate you," I cried into him, my forehead pressing against his chest as everything inside me shattered. "Why are you doing this? Why are you reminding me how much I love you now?"

But there was no answer.

Only silence and the sound of my own breaking breath as I held onto him while the world around me kept moving without us.

He didn’t answer. He couldn’t because his eyes had closed for good.

" You are so cruel." I broke down completely in a pool of his blood.

Around me, everything was still chaos. Lucien had Amelia pinned down, security shouting, Ronan frozen like time had stopped for him too.

But none of it mattered anymore.

Because Raphael was no longer answering. He was gone.

I wailed holding onto him. At some point, Amelia was taken away. She fought trying to touch Raphael there was no way I would let her..

Raphael’s head rested on my thighs, my hand gripping his hand. I kept on whispering to him to wait. The paramedics would soon arrive. Lucien and Ronan washed me carefully with clenched jaws; none of them dared to step forward.

Maybe I was too much. He was the person who wrecked me. I shouldn’t be breaking down this way in front of the man I loved but my mind was in chaos and a strong wave of grief washed over me.

Even with blood smeared over his face he was still handsome. The paramedics arrived. One of them held my shoulders and I slowly glanced up.

"Please can you step back. Let’s handle this." She said softly. I glanced back at Raphael. They were already lifting him up.

"Please be careful. He is in a lot of pain. " I said slowly like he was still alive and was just resting.

"We will." One assured me. Her eyes were filled with pity. My grip on Raphael finally loosened and our fingers parted.

I stumbled into Lucien’s arms. He hugged me from behind burying his head on my shoulder. His face was wet.

I watched them take Raphael away. Ronan gave me a soft smile. His eyes were trying to say something, but in the end, he spoke.

"He saved you. You don’t have to be sad because I am sure he is happy he saved you." He whispered. "If you had died instead, he might have followed after at least only one life is gone." Ronan’s words twisted something in me. I knew how possessive Raphael was to a toxic level. It was a miracle he decided to let go.

Ronan sighed then followed after the paramedic. I just watched.

"Lucien..." I called feeling the wetness on my shoulder. "Are you crying?" I asked then slowly turned.

His head was bowed like he was trying to hide it. I held his face staring at his puffy eyes. He was crying for his rival. "Don’t cry. " I whispered despite crying myself. "He said you were the closest thing to a brother he had."

A slow smile curled up Lucien’s lips and he laughed although it sounded broken. "As crazy as it seems. Raphael was more of a brother to me than Ronan. I never wanted him dead." He admitted.

"I understand. Me too." I cried. "Am I crazy? A part of my heart still loves him. Why am I selfish Lucien?" I said slowly.

He held me closer. "The human heart is selfish. You loved him with everything in you the same way you hated him. There is a thin line between love and hate.." he said then drew in a deep breath. "You didn’t hate Raphael but the monsters he became. "

Those words struck because it was kind of true. I buried my face in his chest. "Do you think we might ever see him again? He can’t go like that. I still have to hate him."

"I don’t know Lynn." He admitted. "Just know I would be here for you."

I drifted into my mind. I never knew our story would end this way. An old memory appeared in my mind.

It was our wedding night, and I was completely drained after a long night. We were both covered in sweat. His arms were around me as I listened to his heartbeat.

"Raphael.." I called out barely waking.

"Yes, love." He hummed, his hand slowly tucking my hair behind my ears. I stirred resting my chin on his chest as I stared at him.

"Have you ever thought of how you die?" I asked. It was a weird question to ask on a wedding night. "We are all going to die one day. I wish to die old and happy. A quiet fast death."

"I don’t know. That’s a weird question. Let me think." he said but Raphael being the man I knew then. No matter how insane my question was stared at me with nothing but infatuation and always answered.

"Well, I don’t know how exactly but I want to die after you." He said.

"Why?" I asked sitting up.. He smiled stealing a kiss from me as he spoke, his fingers tracing my lips.

.

"Because I don’t want you to mourn me. One thing is for sure till the day I die, I will love you."

Those were his words then but he had one thing wrong. He died before me.