I Only Know How to Bully Noobs

Chapter 285: The Older the Ginger, the Spicier It Gets

“Thank you, Your Majesty, for your grace.”

Chen Ming was about to kneel in salute. The emperor had personally come to support him—such humility from a sovereign deserved reciprocation. Naturally, he had to play his part, acting the role of a loyal subject.

But halfway through the bow, he found himself unable to kneel any further.

The old eunuch who had been following the emperor closely spoke in a sharp, high-pitched voice, “His Majesty has spoken in golden words and has granted you exemption from the courtesy of kneeling. Do not offend again in the future.”

Though it was a reprimand, the tone was not severe—more like a reminder.

So it’s actually real?

Chen Ming was a bit surprised. He had thought it was just for show.

Politicians, after all, were masters of theatrics. How often could you take their words at face value?

“Yes.”

He lowered his head and responded softly.

The emperor noted that he neither appeared overly flattered nor trembling in fear. His expression was calm, and his words and actions were measured. This made the emperor all the more pleased with him.

Chen Ming felt a chill under the emperor’s scorching gaze. Was this emperor perhaps… into men?

It was the first time he had ever been stared at by a man in such a way. If it weren’t for the fact that the man before him was the emperor, he would’ve long drawn his sword and struck.

Of course, the emperor knew nothing of his thoughts. At this moment, he was desperately seeking talented individuals. Now that he had encountered such a rare military genius, it was only natural for him to show compassion and kindness.

“Beloved subject, you ranked first in this Trial. According to tradition, you may request a reward from Us—a divine martial manual, a peerless divine weapon, or, if there is someone you hold dear, We can arrange a marriage for you.”

This wasn’t spoken without reason.

When Gu Xianyu had charged into the seventh level earlier, the emperor had secretly ordered an attendant to investigate this man’s background—and indeed, they had uncovered quite a few details.

Among them was the matter of Gu Xianyu having once rejected a marriage proposal, which likely meant he already had someone in his heart.

The emperor thought this would be the perfect opportunity to fulfill a wish for this extraordinary talent, who would, in turn, be grateful for his favor.

At this moment, Chen Ming suddenly recalled the Princess Royal’s earlier proposal and couldn’t help but hesitate.

To be honest, he hadn’t planned to take first place at all—too much attention. Third place would have been fine, enough to appease the Gu Family.

Once the Gu Family’s guard slackened, he would immediately add points, break through to First Grade, and vanish without a trace. Change his name and identity so the Gu Family could never find him again.

But plans never keep up with change.

Who could’ve guessed he’d encounter so many incidents during the Trial? He had basically been escorted through, clearing all levels without effort.

This spotlight was a bit too blinding. The emperor had even come in person to support him, staring at him like he was a priceless treasure.

And now, in front of all these noble officials and ministers, should he really tell the emperor that he had already gone through the wedding rites with his betrothed?

Who knew how the emperor would react?

A prized candidate he just favored had already slept with his not-yet-official concubine?

To a sovereign above all, this would be an unbearable humiliation. He might even become enraged and have Chen Ming quietly eliminated.

Chen Ming wasn’t going to be that foolish.

He didn’t need to bring it up himself. After this banquet, someone near the emperor was bound to whisper the truth to him.

Chen Ming thought for a moment and came up with an idea. “Your Majesty, this humble subject has always enjoyed—”

Before he could say “sparring,” a voice interrupted him. “This commoner has a matter to report to His Majesty.”

Xia Shaowen?

Chen Ming instantly recognized the voice. His heart tightened as he turned his head. Sure enough, Xia Shaowen had stood up and bowed in their direction.

Damn it!

He already guessed what this makeshift father-in-law was about to say.

The emperor also turned to look at the speaker and, after listening for a moment, smiled and said, “So it is Leader Xia. Technically, We should call you uncle. There is no need for formalities. Whatever you have to say, let’s wait until this matter is finished.”

Xia Shaowen replied loudly, “Your Majesty, the matter this commoner wishes to raise is precisely about this Gu Seventh Lang.”

“Oh?”

The emperor looked at Chen Ming and said, “In that case, proceed.”

Chen Ming couldn’t help wanting to facepalm. This emperor—does he have no sense of caution?

At the very least, wait until everyone else leaves and discuss it in private.

Among the many officials present, who knew how many were waiting to see a scandal?

Xia Shaowen clearly intended to blow the matter up. Without any scruples, he loudly declared, “Your Majesty, this commoner’s daughter—”

Cough cough!

Just then, two light coughs came from behind the curtain behind the dragon throne.

The room instantly fell silent.

All the ministers looked toward the curtain and lowered their heads.

Xia Shaowen also swallowed his words.

It was clear just how formidable the presence behind that curtain was.

A woman’s voice rang out, “Emperor, it’s getting late. Let’s end the banquet here. Let the ministers and nobles return to rest early. I am weary. Whatever needs to be said can wait until everyone has left.”

“We respectfully obey the Empress Dowager’s decree.”

The emperor answered reverently and saw the Empress Dowager off from behind the curtain.

Then, the old eunuch beside him announced the banquet’s conclusion. The rewards for the Trial would soon be delivered to each person’s residence.

…

Chen Ming never expected that the one to defuse the situation would be the Empress Dowager.

This didn’t match the rumors at all.

He had heard that within the court, the emperor’s faction and the empress dowager’s faction were locked in fierce political strife—nearly to the point of mutual destruction. And yet, at such a moment, not only did the Empress Dowager refrain from stepping on the emperor, she actively protected his dignity.

At least, on the surface, the two looked like a model of filial piety and maternal affection.

One had to admit, the Empress Dowager’s sense of the bigger picture was extraordinary. Political battles were political battles, but the face of the imperial family had to be maintained.

After all, if the truth was exposed here, not only would the emperor be humiliated, the entire royal family of Great Jin would lose face.

In the end, only the emperor, Chen Ming, and Xia Shaowen’s family remained in the great hall.

Even the Princess Royal had left.

As she departed, there was clear regret on her face.

Chen Ming noticed and thought, Rumors really are unreliable. His own younger sister, who should have been aligned with him, was hoping he’d be disgraced.

Meanwhile, his supposed enemy—his stepmother—had just helped him out.

Even if the emperor were slow-witted, by now he must have realized something. His expression turned solemn. “Leader Xia, whatever you have to say, you may say it now.”

Xia Shaowen said in a deep voice, “Your Majesty, months ago, my daughter and Gu Seventh Lang went through the wedding rites. Thus, this commoner earnestly requests Your Majesty to grant them an official marriage!”

The emperor’s expression twitched violently, and his hand under his sleeve trembled slightly. Even though he had mentally prepared himself, the news still hit like a thunderclap.

The woman he was about to take as a consort… had already held a wedding ceremony with another man?

And that man was none other than the exceptional talent he had just chosen to nurture—a key figure in his plans to stabilize the Northern Frontier?

Everyone turned to observe the reaction of this sovereign of Great Jin.

Madam Xia clutched her daughter’s hand tightly, her heart filled with anxiety.

At this moment, Xia Mudan had no thoughts of her own. She just gazed blankly at Chen Ming. She had thought she’d never see him again in this life.

Yet, fate had brought a sudden turn.

Now that the moment had come, she wasn’t afraid. At worst, it meant death. On the Yellow Springs Road, with her parents and him there, what was there to fear?

Xia Shaowen, however, was firm and confident. He understood men. He was betting: to a sovereign, which mattered more? The granddaughter of Prince Yan, or a once-in-a-generation military genius?

Chen Ming, on the other hand, was calculating how to escape if the emperor turned hostile.

He wasn’t worried that the emperor would execute them on the spot. This emperor had some dignity. He would likely wait for the scandal to die down and then quietly make Chen Ming disappear…

“Is this true?”

The emperor struggled to remain calm, but the tremble in his voice betrayed his agitation. “Why was I not informed of this?”

His tone turned icy. At last, he exuded the majesty of a ruler.

“It was this servant’s failure. Please punish me, Your Majesty!”

The old eunuch behind him knelt and prostrated, not daring to make excuses.

The emperor now wished he could flay the man alive.

There was no doubt that this attendant had known and had hidden it from him. Today, he had nearly been utterly humiliated before the entire court.

No—

The emperor realized his reputation was already ruined. Even if they hadn’t spoken it aloud, did they not all already know?

To those ministers, he was already a laughingstock.

At this thought, his vision went dark, and overcome by rage and shame, he collapsed on the spot.

“Your Majesty!”

The old eunuch, with surprising agility for his age, rushed forward to catch him and shrieked, “Summon the imperial physician!”

Then, carrying the emperor, he vanished from sight.

Leaving only Chen Ming and Xia Shaowen’s family behind, exchanging stunned looks in the empty hall.

Wait—he actually fainted?

Isn’t that a bit too fragile?

Chen Ming didn’t know what to say.

Then he considered another possibility—maybe it was an act. Maybe the emperor just didn’t yet know how to handle the situation and decided to fake unconsciousness.

It was hard to tell.

The emperor might’ve been wearing some artifact that blocked divine sense—there was no way to examine his condition.

Besides, probing an emperor with divine sense was itself a grave offense.

Chen Ming looked at Xia Shaowen and asked, “Leader Xia, wasn’t this move a bit too risky?”

Xia Shaowen replied quietly, “Seventh Lang, the heart of a ruler is difficult to fathom. If we didn’t make things clear now, who knows what His Majesty might do? Perhaps he’d feign ignorance, bring Yan’er into the palace, and use her to control you.”

Sh*t!

Chen Ming was startled by his analysis.

And honestly—it wasn’t impossible.

Emperors were unpredictable beings. Nothing they did could be considered out of character.

The older the ginger, the spicier it gets.

By confronting the issue head-on, Xia Shaowen left the emperor no room to pretend otherwise.