Chapter 34
Chapter 34
It was almost nine by the time they reached home.
The apartment complex lay silent, broken only by the buzz of nameless insects. Streetlamps lined the path, their dim yellow light pooling on the concrete, guiding the way back.
Jiang Li strode ahead with his hands in his pockets. Kakayan trailed behind, swaying slightly, her steps making no sound at all.
More than once Jiang Li thought she'd been left behind, but whenever he glanced back, he found her drifting after him, dazed and unsteady.
The constant looking back began to grate on his nerves.
"Can you walk where I can actually see you?" Jiang Li snapped over his shoulder. "You're creeping along like a thief—no sound, no warning."
"I'm not a thief!"
"Make some noise, or how am I supposed to know you're still there?"
"Hmph."
With a half-hearted shout that held no real energy, a sudden boom split the night.
The paving stones a few steps in front of Jiang Li erupted in smoke and flying shards. Square slabs cracked into jagged fragments.
"What the hell—"
The blast sobered Jiang Li in an instant. He gaped at Kakayan.
"Well? I think I can manage something even louder. Want an encore?"
"Moron!"
Jiang Li lunged, clamped an arm around her waist, and hauled her off the ground like a sloshing barrel of wine, then sprinted away.
"Huff... huff..."
Kakayan's eyelids fluttered shut, and in the lull of being carried, she slipped into a pleasant dream.
...
When she opened her eyes again, it was the next morning.
She lay on Jiang Li's sofa. The instant she tried to sit up, her skull throbbed and her throat felt as dry as parchment.
"Morning," Jiang Li said, swiveling away from his laptop.
"Water... water..."
Kakayan's voice rasped like an injured cat, barely more than a croak.
"Lightweight. You barely drank anything."
Jiang Li smirked and slid a glass of water across the coffee table.
Gulp, gulp, gulp.
The water soothed her thirst, but her head still buzzed like cheap porcelain on the verge of cracking.
"Ugh, Jiang Li, what's wrong with me?"
"Hangover. Lie back down."
Hangover... what was that?
"You drank too much last night," Jiang Li answered without looking up from the screen. "Your body's working overtime to break down the alcohol—side effects include feeling like death."
"Mmgh..."
Kakayan melted back onto the cushions, lifeless.
Eventually she rolled off the sofa and shuffled toward the bathroom, head bowed.
Watching her near-death silhouette, Jiang Li asked casually, "How much of last night do you remember?"
Kakayan paused, thinking. Her brain could only manage one task at a time; walking and remembering at once was impossible.
Last night...
They'd eaten barbecue, then gone to celebrate.
After that?
"I can't remember." Her last clear memory was walking into the bar with Jiang Li. "Did I do anything weird?"
Jiang Li hid a smile. "Nothing serious. But you're not allowed to drink anymore."
"Why not?"
"You're a terrible drunk."
"..."
Kakayan disappeared into the bathroom without another word.
If every drink ended like this, she never wanted alcohol again. Who knew Earth's booze packed such a punch?
Gurgle, gurgle...
She brushed her teeth, splashed water on her face.
Her stomach growled.
...
Jiang Li went to the kitchen, ladled plain congee into a bowl, and tossed a packet of pickled mustard on the table.
Then he sat back at his computer, posture perfect.
The new video was performing well. The account "Miss Kakayan" now sat at twelve thousand followers.
Ten thousand had transferred from the original channel, but gaining two thousand new subs off thirty thousand views was a conversion rate any creator would envy.
Jiang Li knew, though, that most of those two thousand were fickle fans of a pretty face.
They followed every halfway-attractive girl they saw online.
The more energetic ones left cryptic comments:
[Hot damn!]
[I feel it—sorry, brb.]
[My bad.]
[Mommy's here!]
To turn those viewers into real fans, he'd need steady uploads and actual content. Otherwise, in half a year, they'd flock to the next pretty face.
"So, how much money have we made?"
Bored eating alone, Kakayan carried a small bowl and settled beside Jiang Li. Her violet eyes scanned the screen.
She'd taken Jiang Li's promise seriously—once they earned enough, he'd take her on a world tour of Earth's food.
"You're that sure we'll make money?"
Jiang Li let go of the mouse and looked at her. Most people would ask if things were going well first. Kakayan skipped straight to the bottom line.
"Of course. My face is rather cute, after all. And... even though I don't know exactly what you're doing, you seem capable."
"You read people well."
"You think I've lived all these years for nothing?"
Jiang Li chuckled at her nonchalance.
Such was the confidence of a stats monster—almost twenty percent viewer conversion on looks alone.
If Diaochan had had this face, she wouldn't have needed a honey-trap. She could've stood between Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo and watched them rip each other apart.
Slurp, slurp.
Kakayan sipped her congee contentedly. The glossy white rice paired with a packet of pickled mustard offered carbs and energy. After a whole night without food, she was starving.
Watching her wolf down the simple meal like it was a feast, Jiang Li thought, Where else could you find a girl this easy to please?
In moments the bowl was empty. Kakayan licked her lips and nudged Jiang Li.
"Still hungry. Got more?"
"There's some left in the rice cooker."
Kakayan hopped up and trotted to the kitchen.
Moments later her voice rang out. "Jiang Li, this won't be enough."
"Add more rice and water."
"Oh... which button do I press?"
"The one on the far right."
After adding the rice, Kakayan returned.
Jiang Li was idling the time away with a quick mobile mini-game when he asked Kakayan how much extra rice she'd added.
Kakayan flashed two fingers, eyes sparkling. "I figured I could handle two more bowls, so I tossed in two bowls of rice."
"Mm."
Jiang Li didn't process it at first. A heartbeat later, the words clicked—he shot to his feet and bolted for the kitchen.
"Are you a pig? That's way too much rice!"