Chapter 254 : Autonomous Driving?
Chapter 254: Autonomous Driving?
How should one even describe this thing? It wasn’t the kind of stench that came from canned herring; the smell was just… weird. Of course, it wasn’t pleasant either.
The main issue was the instant it entered his mouth—that sour and pungent explosion! Twenty different seasonings mixed together, almost covering every possible flavor. No matter how skilled a chef might be, they’d probably break down from this mess.
Fortunately, the final step involved coating it with starch and deep-frying it. Otherwise, if it had come out as a bowl of mush, it would’ve looked no different from poop.
Even so, Wang Chu thought Lin Mo was frying actual feces at home early in the morning—the smell said it all.
“Old Mo, if you’re in a bad mood, just tell me. We’re brothers, man—no need to torture yourself like this.
First revenge shopping, and now frying ‘poop’ to eat? What’s next? Did your rich lady break up with you?
Don’t worry. There’s plenty of grass in the world. With your looks, finding another sugar mommy won’t be hard—the next one will be better and sweeter!”
In the living room, watching Lin Mo gagging while covering his mouth, forcing himself to swallow, Wang Chu couldn’t help but advise him earnestly.
After all, he really couldn’t understand Lin Mo’s behavior. That dark, suspicious-looking lump looked downright illegal—he couldn’t even imagine how Lin Mo managed to swallow it.
Combined with Lin Mo’s revenge shopping spree the previous night, it was obvious to Wang Chu that something had triggered him. Most likely heartbreak—probably a cliff-fall breakup.
Spending 8,500 yuan to rent a place might seem reasonable to Lin Mo, but to Wang Chu, it was definitely an act of emotional revenge spending.
Even compared to Sichuan Girl, who was fairly well-off, 8,500 wasn’t pocket change!
Could it be that Old Mo had been dumped and was trying to win his goddess back with a grand gesture?
Hearing this, Lin Mo rolled his eyes while still covering his mouth. If not for the unbearable taste, he’d have forced Wang Chu to try a bite and experience this culinary horror himself.
He didn’t know if this stuff was toxic, but it probably worked as a vomit inducer—perfect for Wang Chu’s weight-loss diet. Let him lose some fat!
When Wang Chu saw Lin Mo roll his eyes, he panicked and quickly patted his back.
“Old Mo, hey, Old Mo, are you okay? Don’t die on me! You didn’t really eat poop and poison yourself, did you?”
Gulp.
After forcing the stuff down, Lin Mo quickly gulped water and rinsed his mouth before regaining his breath.
“Get lost! You’re the one eating poop! If you keep talking crap, I’ll tell the Class Monitor to make this your official fat-loss meal!”
“Holy crap, Old Mo, you can’t be that cruel! Heaven’s watching—you’ll get struck by lightning!” Wang Chu widened his eyes in horror.
Lin Mo ignored the absurd Wang Chu. Looking at the pound of fried mystery food before him, he hesitated. Just one bite had been so disgusting—how was he supposed to finish all of it without dying?
After some thought, Lin Mo came up with a plan: cut it into small pieces, eat one bite, drink water, and swallow without chewing.
Sure enough, that helped a little. It was still disgusting, and he still gagged occasionally, but it was at least bearable.
“By the way, if I actually get poisoned later, call an ambulance,” Lin Mo said between bites.
The chances of poisoning were low—after all, everything used was technically edible—but who knew how these ingredients might react when mixed?
He even had Xieliting ready in advance, just in case he got food poisoning and ended up dehydrated from diarrhea.
“I just don’t get it,” Wang Chu said, bewildered. “You could live comfortably, but you choose to suffer like this? You crazy?”
Lin Mo sighed. “Alright, I’ve got my reasons. Ever heard of folk remedies?”
He made up an excuse just to make his behavior sound somewhat rational.
“Folk remedy? For kidney health?” Wang Chu perked up immediately.
Lin Mo: “...”
“For your brain! You want some? Might help your pig brain a bit!”
“Ahem, never mind then,” Wang Chu waved his hand quickly. If it were for kidney tonics, maybe he’d consider it.
After all, he’d even drunk herbal tonics before—but not for brain supplements. Even yesterday’s broccoli mooncake sounded better than this.
Lin Mo took a deep breath. He was helpless too—it wasn’t like he wanted this. He had to complete the task. Otherwise, why would he torture himself? It’s not like he had pica.
As for last night’s shopping, all he got was a bath towel—better than nothing.
【Round Bath Towel: No effort needed, gentle on skin, cleans body grime with a single wipe. ¥0.25】
Sure enough, the odds of getting something good from the shopping interface were still low. Still, he wasn’t complaining—a small cheat was still a cheat, and as long as it worked, that was enough.
Though the towel wasn’t exactly a game-changer, it worked remarkably well. He’d thought he was pretty clean—he showered daily, especially in summer.
But after using it, he discovered he was filthier than he’d thought. The grime just fell off his skin like dust.
He knew it was just dead skin from normal metabolism, but seeing it fall was still unsettling.
After scrubbing his whole body, he felt polished—his skin looked noticeably fairer.
Of course, this wasn’t something to use every day; it could damage the epidermis. Occasional use was fine—like routine maintenance.
Then, in front of Wang Chu, Lin Mo continued to gag and eat. Even without chewing, the flavor was still indescribably awful.
At 10:30 a.m., Lin Mo was crouched before the toilet bowl.
“Ugh—ugh—”
Amidst the splashing sound, Class Monitor Wang Jing looked on in shock and asked Wang Chu, “Is Lin Mo alright?”
“I—I think so? I’m not sure if he’s ‘alright’. That’s why I called you over!” Wang Chu scratched his head anxiously.
Indeed, Lin Mo had thrown up—and badly. The good news was, he’d finished eating before he started vomiting, so technically, he’d completed the task.
After all, the requirement was just to eat it—not to keep it down.
He had thought it was over once he finished, but soon after, nausea hit him hard. Even after brushing his teeth, the strange taste lingered.
Eventually, he couldn’t hold it back and threw up—hard. Even his breakfast came up.
“What’s wrong with him? Did he eat something bad?” Wang Jing asked, gently patting his back to help him breathe.
Wang Chu frowned. “Bad food? He went full mad scientist this morning! Dragged me out of bed to watch him make black cuisine—it looked toxic, and he still ate it! Wouldn’t stop even when I tried to. If someone saw it, they’d think he was smuggling drugs in his body. I swear I’m guilty by association!”
“Huh? Black cuisine? What did he eat?” Wang Jing asked curiously, wondering what could take down a grown man like that.
Hearing this, Wang Chu grabbed the bowl from the table in disgust and handed it to her. “He’s got a little left—see for yourself!”
Class Monitor Wang Jing leaned over for a look—and immediately gagged from the stench.
“Ugh—gross! Take it away! Why’d you put poop in a bowl?!”
Wang Chu: “...”
“Not me! It’s Old Mo’s doing! See? I told you—it’s not just me who thinks so!”
Listening to the two bicker, Lin Mo—his face pale from vomiting—flushed red with anger.
After another retch that brought up nothing, he was finally helped up to rinse his mouth.
“I told you—it’s not poop! It’s a folk remedy!”
He wanted to say it was a new recipe he’d developed but couldn’t bring himself to. After all, he was supposed to become a culinary god. Even if only one day a week, he couldn’t ruin his reputation like this!
“Fine, whether it’s poop or a folk remedy—how do you feel now? Do you need to go to the hospital?”
Class Monitor Wang Jing, being considerate, asked softly.
Lin Mo thought for a moment, then shook his head. “No need. I’ve thrown it all up. Just need some rest. Get me that soda from the fridge—my mouth tastes bitter.”
After vomiting, he did feel much better. It was clear now—it wasn’t food poisoning, just the extreme taste and smell triggering a reflex reaction.
If it had been poisoning, he’d have gone to the hospital already. But going now would only make things awkward—imagine if they told the doctor he’d cooked and eaten poop!
The doctor might send him straight to psychiatry.
And if Professor Li’s students heard about it and word reached the old man’s ears, his mentor’s reputation would be ruined.
He represented the sect now—he had to maintain appearances!
“What’re you standing around for? Go!” Wang Jing kicked Wang Chu lightly.
Startled, Wang Chu finally hurried to fetch the drink.
Lin Mo watched, thinking it was the right call to have Wang Chu bring Wang Jing. She was efficient and straightforward—always on task.
After half a can of cola, Lin Mo finally felt alive again. The nausea had subsided.
“I heard from Wang Chu that you’ve been learning from a Chinese medicine teacher,” Wang Jing said gently. “But you shouldn’t eat everything you see. Not all folk remedies are trustworthy.”
Lin Mo nodded. “Don’t worry, this was an accident.”
After a while, seeing that he was recovering, both left—Wang Chu to pick up Sichuan Girl from the high-speed rail, and Wang Jing to the gym for training.
She had given Wang Chu time off, but she herself wouldn’t slack off.
Once they left, Lin Mo rested at home until he felt completely recovered, though he was still listless—like a wilted eggplant. He barely touched lunch, having no appetite.
At 1 p.m., he received a call from Miss Yuan Meng, saying she was almost there and he should come downstairs to meet her at the community gate.
He still asked Miss Yuan Meng to pick him up because that area was a villa district—taxis couldn’t get in. Even if they dropped him nearby, he’d get lost. Better to have her drive in.
Lin Mo grabbed the herbal foot soak and half of the dried mushrooms his mom had prepared for Professor Mu, plus two kinds of fruit he’d bought that morning, and went downstairs.
At least he wasn’t showing up empty-handed.
Especially the mugwort foot soak—he’d cut open each sachet and poured the herbs into a regular plastic bag.
He’d just say it was a secret formula unavailable in stores. As long as it worked, packaging didn’t matter. Mr. and Mrs. Jiang weren’t experts—they wouldn’t know the difference.
And testing it? Please. The herbs were all ordinary, though their effects were remarkable. Even a testing lab couldn’t figure out why.
Soon, Lin Mo arrived at the community gate, scanning around for Miss Yuan Meng’s car.
Suddenly, a large SUV drove straight toward him.
The shocking part—there was no one in the driver’s seat!
Startled, Lin Mo jumped back two steps.
“Holy crap—autonomous driving?!”
As soon as he said that, the car stopped in front of him. The window rolled down, and Miss Yuan Meng leaned out with some effort.
“Elbow! Get in!”
Lin Mo: “...”