Taming the Protagonist

Volume 2

Chapter 103 : Mingfuluo’s Diary, Part Two

From today, time will be recorded in days.

I’m unsure when Anselm will return, but he’ll likely give me three to four years to develop.

He’ll probably return when the outside me, or Babel Tower, is on the brink.

He’s adept at exploiting weaknesses… Ivora is too unstable.

In hindsight, relying solely on her protection was doomed to fail.

Anselm, how much do you distrust me?

From the start, did you prepare for failure and a second attempt at taming?

…What a headache-inducing brat.

I hope the outside me, without memories, won’t piece together the clues.

***

Day 1.

The outside me, upon waking, couldn’t accept that day’s rift.

Without my original deductions and key conversations, she couldn’t comprehend why Anselm and I parted ways.

Anselm has left the Imperial Capital, no longer in Hydra’s Domain, all contact severed… the outside me can’t reach him by any means.

She doubts, puzzles, tries to find truth in her spliced memories, but finds nothing.

As expected, she doesn’t fully believe Anselm betrayed her; she thinks there must be a reason.

It’s about as I predicted; I am me, even without those memories.

Day 2.

Anselm’s “betrayal” has left the outside me in low spirits.

She still can’t fathom the reason, her thoughts leaning toward Anselm simply wanting to tame her.

…Without my many speculations, this is indeed the undeniable truth, but I shouldn’t give up so quickly.

Whether rational or emotional… The outside me’s hatred for Anselm should take time to build.

She should spend longer grappling with whether there’s truth behind his “betrayal.”

This isn’t normal.

Day 7.

The outside me is gradually returning to normal life but hasn’t given up contacting Anselm.

She sends letters to Hydra Mansion daily, contacts its people via communication crystals, even considers visiting, but naturally, it’s futile.

Anselm is waiting for an opportunity; until then, he won’t return or meet me.

She… hasn’t done what I feared most.

Reviewing the entire past, analyzing every moment with Anselm… if she did, she’d likely rediscover the answers I reached, the worst outcome.

But “I” didn’t do that.

Mr. Flamel’s creation can’t be flawed; the outside me must be identical to me, yet she shows no sign of this… it’s not Mingfuluo-like.

Per this trajectory, my attitude toward Anselm at our next meeting will be more hostility than inquiry.

This is good, but… this anomaly isn’t necessarily good.

Day 10.

I’ll pause long-term monitoring of the outside me and focus on studying these tomes.

This library’s collection… is terrifying: forbidden spells from the Celestial Conquest Dynasty that summon abyssal entities; brainwashing techniques effective across two major tiers below fifth-tier; unheard-of ether drive methods; and bizarre alchemical manuals…

Merely knowing the truth won’t help.

Whatever drives a divine species like Anselm into such obsession isn’t something I can resolve now.

I must become as strong as possible in these three years to qualify to intervene.

Normal growth won’t suffice; no matter how I train, I can’t become Anselm’s absolute aid in a few years… I need more cunning methods.

I’ll start narrowing down directions now.

Day 26.

The outside me is gradually letting go of Anselm’s matter, or rather, not letting it disrupt her daily life, though she can’t fully stop caring.

This phase will likely last a while.

Her feelings for Anselm will shift from half-believing hope for a reason to believe he truly meant harm, a complete betrayal… if she shows no doubt or reflection in this process, something is definitely wrong.

Either she isn’t me, or… something is interfering.

Day 48.

Progress on mechanized armor is smooth; with these tomes, many unclear ideas have become clear.

With my current ability, I can lead the development of a material armament within half a year—even without physical experiments.

But material armaments… fifth-tier crown-level power, isn’t enough.

If I could create an ether armament for Anselm to wear, that might suffice.

Or the third stage… no, that’s too far off.

I’ll aim for ether armaments first.

Day 60.

The outside me, from every angle, is undoubtedly me, but her thoughts and observations on Anselm seem blocked by an invisible barrier.

If that hypothetical enemy is real, it makes sense.

How… absurd.

Fate, could such a thing exist? Is Anselm treating it as his enemy?

…No, I can’t keep thinking this way, or I’ll lose my footing.

But merely considering this possibility makes me so fearful, if it’s true…

What kind of terror and despair has Anselm endured?

Day 93.

Everything is on track; the outside me, aside from routine attempts to contact Anselm, no longer lets him affect her life and work… mostly.

If it were me, I’d need at least this long to recover, but during this time, I’d exhaust every detail of my time with Anselm to uncover the truth.

The outside me’s vision is clouded, which is good for me… is it helping me?

If fate exists, why would it help me?

If it truly exists, I can’t let the outside me be fully manipulated by it.

I must find a way to influence or affect her.

Day 96.

I found a spell in a soul-related tome; it’s very difficult to master, and I’m unsure if it’ll work, but it’s better than nothing.

It can now block the outside me from seeing the issue’s core, but at any moment, it could expose my intentions to Anselm.

I must gain the ability to sway the situation… studying ancient soul magic must be prioritized.

Day 289.

I’ve found the core key to ether armaments, but my current ability isn’t enough to forge them independently.

Once I leave, I might have the capacity to create them fully.

But this may still not be enough… the third stage, achievable only by Mr. Flamel, can I do it?

Soul magic has shown preliminary results… It seems that outside me and I share the same soul but are absolutely distinct individuals.

I can barely influence her with most spells from that tome; our connection… only tightens when her soul fragments dwindle, craving my soul.

Thus, I must wait.

Day 327.

As expected… the outside me has fallen into the quagmire of violence.

Babel Tower is gradually becoming a workshop for Ivora’s violence; I didn’t foresee this flaw, and the outside me has no choice.

The floating cannon’s design is indeed something only I could create, and she’s hidden it well… not exposing the mechanized armor, but researching it privately.

Is she preparing an escape route?

…Exactly what I’d do.

The outside me’s talent and aptitude are identical to mine; if Anselm returns later, she might already figure out how to create ether armaments.

Day 446.

The outside me has grown accustomed to producing violence; the proliferation of firearms is set… both of us believe this is a necessary sacrifice to sustain Babel Tower, with more to come.

If Anselm’s issue could be resolved, these detours would be unnecessary.

No slacking, Mingfuluo, for Anselm, and for… that future.

Day 497.

In 497 days, I visited Grandfather’s grave four times; each time, I encountered beneficiaries of Babel Tower’s alchemical tools around the cemetery, all ordinary people.

Even through projections, I was moved… but is this normal?

Fate’s existence makes me doubt it’s coincidence.

If it arranged this, what’s its purpose? To make me more human?

Indeed, I’ve always been this way, focusing on value, always ready to choose or sacrifice and I see no issue with that.

The outside me is the same.

Coldly speaking… is my desire to save Anselm partly because he’s more valuable than me?

…Probably, I’m not sure, but regardless, Anselm must not be the one sacrificed.

But why would fate want me to be more human?

If it exists, it knows I’m watching everything here; what’s the point of making the outside me more human?

No… the outside me won’t become more human over such trifles.

What must be sacrificed, will be.

Day 606.

The Ether Academy’s assaults are growing fiercer and Babel Tower’s situation is worsening.

I’m not adept at creating pure violence; mass-producing floating cannons is likely my last means to maintain Ivora’s protection for six months to a year.

Does this mean Anselm might return to the Imperial Capital?

I can’t let Babel Tower collapse; I hope the outside me can handle everything—no, she definitely can.

On my end, I should reach the fourth tier in about six months.

Anselm’s treatment of me is almost too generous… he doesn’t hinder my transcendent tier advancement, but restricts alchemical tools, limiting my creations to theory—a fatal constraint.

Unstable tools can’t be used; after leaving, I’ll need more time to turn three years of accumulated knowledge into tangible power.

Anselm… will you give me that time?

Day 723.

It's been almost two years since I last saw Anselm.

I think of him not out of loneliness but worry for his current state.

Compared to me, he’s endured two years of solitude in far greater pain… What has he gone through?

What changes has he undergone?

Has his obsession eased, or deepened?

…I don’t have the luxury to worry about him now.

Constantly viewing myself from this perspective reveals so much more.

I’ve fallen into colder, more detached thinking, and dangerously, both the outside me and I here are aware of it… but have no intention to change.

Anselm and I differ only in “self-awareness”; in every other way… we’re nearly identical.

Good news: this version of me fits Anselm’s image of a cold, unfeeling person.

Barring accidents, he won’t suspect the outside me.

Bad news…

If this continues, one day, I’ll truly weigh Anselm’s value on a scale like a machine.

I’ll become the image he sees.

I must resolve Anselm’s issue before sinking into that coldness.

I don’t want to change; does Anselm… not want to, or is he unable to?

Day 868.

The third-stage mechanized armor now has a concrete concept; these tomes have helped immensely.

In knowledge reserves, the outside me and I are worlds apart, no longer on the same level.

Once Anselm’s issue is resolved, I can prepare for the great change.

If his problem is solved, the new world’s arrival is only a matter of time.

…So utilitarian, Mingfuluo, you’re becoming the version Anselm despises.

Why haven’t you ever considered purely using him?

He was with you for less than a year, yet you’re willing to go this far for him.

Is Anselm really that important?

I ask myself, and the answer is obvious.

How could I stay in this cold, dark basement for three years, risking mental collapse watching myself daily, for someone insignificant and disposable?

No matter how utilitarian, Anselm is absolutely vital, Mingfuluo.

Day 900.

Without Anselm, I’ve realized how hard creation is.

As an observer, I keenly feel the pressure the outside me has endured these two years.

It’s not just talent… but a gulf in thought.

I can’t communicate on the same level as these people.

Fully detached, I see the environment and situation more clearly, which makes me doubt—

Does Babel Tower truly have a purpose?

As the bearer of Grandfather’s will, a pioneer for the future, can Babel Tower… and its people, bear this responsibility?

Even Hendrik and the others seem…

No, I’m overthinking.

Too detached a perspective brings unnecessary thoughts.

The outside me is growing well, but… inevitably paying a price.

Making choices in the moment is far harder than my observing; she seems colder, more decisive than I am now.

Day 956.

The framework Anselm placed on me back then seems so… accurate now?

I’ve indeed become extremely rational and cold and the outside me, aware of this, has no intention of stopping.

Growing in that environment, I’ve become the person Anselm can’t accept—one who’d abandon friends for Grandfather’s ideals.

Two years ago, the outside me probably wouldn’t have pondered Anselm’s issues so much.

But observing all this, I can’t accept that outside self.

Is it… determined by whether I personally make those choices?

As an observer, not partaking in her transformation, when our “consensus” reaches a limit, I can’t recognize her.

I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

Day 987.

I found the reason, the true cause of this rift between us.

Because Anselm is no longer by my side, that’s all.

If he were still here, if we were still friends, still striving toward that goal, I wouldn’t have become… like the outside me.

Without Anselm’s companionship, not just creation but life itself has become so hard.

I’ve had to make so many choices, so many unavoidable ones, just to take one step further on the long, narrow path to my ideals.

If the outside me had more choices, she wouldn’t be this unrecognizable self… but she doesn’t, and neither does Babel Tower.

Only now do I realize Anselm was never just a fellow traveler or friend; his help wasn’t just about bringing me closer to my ideals.

He cared for me, looked after me… spared me so much trouble, so I never had to worry, fret, or face the dilemma of sacrificing something to achieve another.

He understood me—when I wanted to do something, needed something, he always gave the best response at the right time.

He made me… feel truly alive.

So that’s why, after all these days here, I’ve never felt a shred of regret.

Not just because I want to solve Anselm’s problem, but because… he’s so vital to me, the irreplaceable only one in my life.

I can’t lose him.

Anselm, where are you now? Are you doing okay?

I miss you.

Day 1087.

Three years are nearly up, still no word from Anselm.

The outside me has given up chasing him, seeking reasons for our rift.

She’s poured everything into research; with her current mindset, if she had my conditions, she might surpass me in a year.

But is that worth it?

This is with me having spent time with Anselm; without those moments, what… would the original me have become?

Anselm…

Day 1121.

Finally… I heard news of Anselm.

He found his first Contract Head in the North, one with the bizarre talent to bear two Contract Head powers.

Hitana Lansmarlos… How did Anselm find her?

The outside me searched countless records, only to find she’s just a village girl.

This situation… is exactly like mine.

Is my guess correct?

Regardless, I’m prepared.

If that girl can help free you, that’s best; if not…

I’ll save you, Anselm, trust me.

Day 1137.

You’ve grown taller, stronger, no trace of the child you were.

That girl clinging to you, is she Hitana?

You seem to really like her.

Did you hold her to the same standards as me?

Or… in these three years, have you changed in other ways?

I hope you’ve broken free a bit from that endless mire, I truly hope.

I miss you so much, Anselm, don’t leave me again.