Chapter 121 : Face-to-Face
Chapter 121: Face-to-Face
Shows like this usually had a certain amount of script prepared in advance.
Before the actual filming began, the writers had a request.
‘Do Seohan, you’re good at voice impressions, right?’
‘…Sorry?’
‘How about we film a segment where you teach Haim some impressions?’
‘I’ll do my best.’
Maybe it was because I followed the writers’ orders diligently, but the practice room scenes were wrapped up quickly,
and we gathered in the 3rd-floor conference room to shoot extra footage for Idol Human Theater.
Leader Kang Siwoo sat down in the center first and had the other members take their seats one by one.
Rustle—
Seven members bustled noisily into the meeting room.
“Alright, take your seats.”
“Yes, Leader~.”
Kang Siwoo glanced briefly at the script on the table before smoothly starting the session.
A meeting for Stardust, hastily arranged at the writers’ suggestion.
Kang Siwoo slowly set the tone.
“Today, we’ll be discussing a few agenda items together as a team.”
“Waaah!”
“Since this meeting is for the betterment of our team, please actively share your opinions on each topic.”
Click.
When he pressed the button, the large screen in the background lit up.
I didn’t know who made it, but it was white background, plain Gothic font.
A simple sentence appeared, making its presence known.
Kang Siwoo pointed at the screen and spoke.
“Our first agenda item.”
[Is Stardust’s youngest member, Do Seohan, actually a hamster?]
“Ah.”
It was an extremely important topic.
Recently, Jin Sehyun had stirred controversy during a livestream by saying, ‘Isn’t it obvious that Seohan isn’t really a hamster?’ — so this was a matter that needed to be addressed now.
“Sehyun, were you the one who first brought up this agenda?”
“During my personal livestream, some Dusties asked me what brand of grain Seohan’s been eating lately… so I told them an inconvenient truth.”
“What truth?”
Jin Sehyun looked at me and dropped a bombshell.
“That Do Seohan hates sunflower seeds.”
Gasp.
“How could you say something so outrageous!”
“You apologized to the Dusties, right?”
For the sake of image management, I’d even been carrying nuts around lately.
And yet, how could he spout such blasphemy in front of the Dusties?
“That hyung’s character is…”
“Alright, alright! Let’s focus on the agenda.”
Bang bang—
To get everyone’s attention, Kang Siwoo lightly tapped the desk with his hand.
“First, who here thinks Seohan is a hamster?”
I frowned and answered firmly.
“Ridiculous.”
“Why?”
Seo Haim’s curious gaze turned toward me.
I shrugged, meeting her eyes.
“Because it’s obvious.”
“Oh… it was obvious? Ahahahah!”
“I don’t even think it’s worth debating.”
I meant it.
At this point, wasn’t it obvious to anyone that I was a hamster-human hybrid?
With conviction, I declared,
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I’m not so sure…”
Unfortunately, the members didn’t seem to share my opinion.
Only Kang Siwoo, Seo Haim, and Cha Seongbin raised their hands in agreement — just three of us.
At least Siwoo-hyung was on my side.
“He totally looks like a hamster. There’s a reason the fans call him that.”
“He totally looks like a person. Unless your eyesight is bad, he’s clearly human.”
“Sehyun, are you saying the Dusties are wrong?”
“All I know is, Leader-hyung is way too biased toward the maknae. I object.”
Jin Sehyun muttered complaints, clicking his tongue.
Kang Siwoo waved his hand as if to deny the accusation.
“How am I biased?”
“You totally are.”
“Anyone can see it.”
While the younger members voiced their dissatisfaction, Seo Ian — who had been quiet until now — slowly raised his hand.
With a serious face, Seo Ian voiced his stance.
“I also think Seohan is not a hamster.”
“What’s your reasoning?”
“Hmm… for starters, he’s way too big to be a hamster.”
“Right, right.”
“In my life, I’ve never heard of a 182 cm hamster… If that’s a hamster, wouldn’t that be ecological destruction?”
“It’d be a hamster that drank radioactive water.”
Hey, isn’t it possible for a slightly big-sized hamster to be born once in a while?
“Radioactive? That’s harsh.”
“Anyway, the size is just not normal. Let’s admit it.”
But the opposition’s stance was too firm.
Jin Sehyun shook his head decisively and rebuked Kang Siwoo.
“This is what happens when Leader-hyung keeps defending him — now a primate actually thinks he’s a rodent.”
“Let’s have Siwoo reflect on that.”
Ha Junseo nodded in agreement.
Even though it was 4 against 3, as the person in question, my opinion had no power,
and since the pro-hamster side had no convincing arguments, we were being pushed back helplessly — until that moment.
Up until now, Cha Seongbin hadn’t contributed much beyond a few short lines,
but suddenly, he grabbed his leg.
A sharp scream echoed through the conference room.
“Aaaaagh!”
Huh?
I blinked and turned to look at Cha Seongbin.
He was grimacing, his head buried under the desk.
“Hyung, are you hur—”
He was still clutching his perfectly fine leg with both hands.
“A… aaagh!”
What on earth was going on now?
When I looked back with a reluctant expression, Cha Seongbin spoke with a tearful face.
“I’ve got a cramp in my leg.”
I was speechless at the kind of acting that was too cringe-worthy to watch.
Wait a second.
What kind of setup is he trying to pull here…?
My uneasy hunch was spot on.
Cha Seongbin pointed to his leg, sending me a wistful look as he spoke.
“Seohan, talk to it for me.”
“……”
“Communication, please.”
I knew exactly what he was asking for.
Ah.
But this was just too much.
Pfft.
Seo Ian, unable to hold back his laughter, finally broke down.
“He’s actually asking him to do it.”
Ha Junseo bit down hard on his lower lip, avoiding my eyes.
Meanwhile, Cha Seongbin was glancing at me with an increasingly desperate look.
No.
I really do understand what he wants.
But still…
Does that even make sense?
I’m a human being, after all.
“…Aaagh.”
No matter what, at my age…
As if I’d actually squeak like a hamster.
And yet, that’s exactly what happened.
“……!”
I shamelessly leaned toward Cha Seongbin’s leg and cried out,
“Jjik jjik (get out).”
At the same time—
Pffft.
Ha Junseo, who had been watching in disbelief, burst into laughter.
“Bwahahah! Bwahaha!”
“Ahahahah! He actually did it! Ahaha! Ack!”
Cha Seongbin, who had started this, was now laughing so hard he slammed his head against the desk.
“Ahaha!”
Even as he rubbed his head, he kept laughing.
“Ugh… that hurt.”
“Do Seohan, are you insane?”
“Ah, ah. I think he’s actually lost it.”
“You’re… all insane…”
Jin Sehyun’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
He looked like someone who had just witnessed the most shocking thing in his 19 years of life.
At that moment, our eyes met.
“I can’t believe you actually went that far.”
Well.
“Jjik…?”
I answered him.
.
.
.
.
The camera zoomed in on one person’s face.
An interview cut meant to be inserted separately into Idol Human Theater.
The writer cautiously asked Stardust’s Jin Sehyun,
“What do you think about Seohan being a hamster?”
Staunchly anti-hamster, Jin Sehyun shook his head immediately.
From the scientific knowledge he had, Do Seohan could never be a hamster.
“Biologically, it’s impossible. How can a person be a hamster?”
Of course… of course…
It seemed like he was doing his best, but—
Wrong was still wrong.
“If you look at folktales, there are plenty where a fox turns into a person. If we’re being technical, it makes way more sense for Seongbin-hyung to be the fox.”
“But there’s no folktale about a hamster becoming a person?”
“Yes, that’s exactly my point.”
“But… do hamsters even appear in folktales?”
At the writer’s question, Jin Sehyun paused to think.
“…You’re right.”
Somehow, the deeper this topic went, the more complicated it became.
The screen showed Jin Sehyun’s troubled expression with a caption.
Jin Sehyun (19): Experiencing an identity crisis about hamsters
Eventually, the interview cut moved on to same-age member Seo Haim. Seo Haim clasped her hands politely in front of the camera, her eyes sparkling.
“Seo Haim-ssi.”
“Yees!”
The writer gave her the same question as Jin Sehyun.
As a staunch pro-hamster supporter who had sided with Kang Siwoo, Seo Haim answered with a bright smile.
“Seohan is a hamster because he’s cute. Sometimes, he makes a dopey face for like three seconds, and that’s totally hamster-like…”
Seohan-ssi was glaring at her from behind.
He clearly looked very displeased.
“I’m going to fry that chicken.”
“Why am I a chicken?!”
Seo Haim (chicken): Dreams of being a chick
Seo Haim whipped her head away in protest.
[Watching Idol Human Theater — is this for real?]
Why are they all completely letting go of themselves LOLLLLLL
They’ve always seemed a bit unhinged, but this time they’ve just completely gone feral.
Do Seohan squeaking — LMAOOOO I thought he’d lost his mind.
He did it with such shameless confidence, but his ears can’t hide the truth — so freaking cute.
His ears went red like crazy LOLLLLL why are only his ears being honest?
└ Looks like he had a reality check too ahahahahahaha
└ You could literally see on screen, in that brief moment, his idol self with a hunger for comedy and his “Do I really have to do this?” feelings crossing paths LOLLLLL
└ ㅇㄱㄹㅇ “Do I really have to do this?”
└ But he did it, right?
└ LOLLLLLL Seohan, you really are a pro idol.
[An idol truly devoted to moe-fication]
In a situation where he was being accused of not being a hamster, he suddenly threw out, “Ridiculous.”
Byoseohan, who believes more seriously than anyone else that he himself is a hamster.
So Byo…
Meanwhile, extreme st* Jin Sehyun still couldn’t relate at all.
└ Ha Junseo and Seo Ian were wavering a little, but Jin Sehyun stayed firm as a rock… still my man….
└ ???
└ Our Sehyun has lived a diligent life.
└ Anyway, he’s my husband haha.
No but after watching Idol Human Theater, are these guys actually handsome comedians? Why are they so serious about comedy LOL.
└ Let Stardust seep into your heart.
└ I’m already kind of falling for them… LOL.
└ I seriously love them.
└ They’re on such good form lately LOL.
Since they’re a project group, in the beginning it felt like they’d eaten the awkward fruit, but now that it’s been half a year, they really seem close to each other LOL.
└ The same-age line chemistry is amazing.
└ Doubles, please release your next self-produced content.
└ Pleeease.
While Idol Human Theater – Stardust Edition was drawing hot attention,
at the same time, a person entered an upscale restaurant near Gangnam Station.
Seohan, with his cap pulled low, stepped inside hesitantly.
This wasn’t just another day.
Today, he had a dinner appointment with a very special senior.
‘Ha… I’m nervous.’
Sung Jihoo, main dancer of Tipple.
After their last promotions, he’d said they should grab a meal sometime — and apparently it wasn’t an empty promise, because he reached out again.
And this time, he said he’d treat him to dinner himself.
Seohan kept patting his chest as he walked down the inner corridor.
“What kind of fancy Chinese place is this…”
He’d said they’d just have a simple meal, but he’d brought him somewhere full-on.
Considering Tipple’s level of recognition, there were probably quite a few people who’d recognize him anywhere.
It seemed he’d chosen a private place so they could eat comfortably.
Sung Jihoo from Tipple — his idol ever since he was young.
Meeting one-on-one in a setting like this was a bit overwhelming.
“Just don’t mess up.”
Muttering that to himself, Seohan slid the door open with a clack.