Walking Disasters and Me

The snarl that ripples across my face as that tramp Mary weaves her hand into the awkward and fumbling fingers of Amelia fades as quickly as it appears. Though not without conscious effort. Not caring about being late to class in the slightest, I do my best not to physically stomp over to my light and this new harlot.

Amelia notices my approach first, her eyes switching from worried and anxious to shining as she smiles widely and says, "Sandra! Y-you have morning classes too?"

All the hostility instantly bleeds out of me as I return her smile with one of my own, nodding my head before replying, "Yep~! Have all semester, but I can hardly ever be bothered to wake up this early~. Today's a big test, though, so I kind of have to be there~."

Again, a little laugh that showers my soul in rainbow colored light before its whisked away and replaced by a throbbing red as the interloper next to Aims speaks up. "Doesn't sound very responsible if you ask me. You should set a better example for your sister, even if you two barely talk these days."

My eyes flash over to hers, hands flexing closed in blinding anger at her taunting words. The smaller woman with mid back length blonde curls, a generous bust, and wide hips dressed in a slutty little low cut V and yoga shorts to show off her ass. Malicious green eyes that would be perfectly fitting on a snake, same as that crooked evil smile that she passes off as 'friendly'.

Even this early into the semester, I've already heard an earful about this particular 'woman'. How she likes to dig her nails into whatever freshman looks the meekest and then try and mold them to her liking. Then, when whatever criteria has been met, those same partners start showing up with marks, bruises, and an even more cowed personality than before she met them.

In other words, a serial abuser. And not one fucking thing has been done about it. Probably because its always between two women, so either no one gives a shit, or the victim is too afraid to some forward. Or both.

I let out a breath before looking her up and down, making my dissatisfaction known. "Things have been busy, but I'll always make time for my little sister and she knows that. Having someone dependable that loves you unconditionally is so nice, isn't it Mary? To know you don't have to go searching for, or fabricate, some kind of fake love and acceptance just to feel whole?"

By now, Amelia is starting to cower a bit at the tension in the air. Her deep honey eyes trembling as they flick between myself and this whore. The little barb seems to have done the trick though as Mary looks over to Amelia expecting some kind of... defense? Reaction? I'm not sure, but whatever she is searching for, she doesn't find and eventually she huffs and storms away from the shade of the oak.

As soon as she's out of earshot, I turn back to Amelia with a serious expression. Flashes of my failure to protect her from Jessica running through my mind. "Aims, you shouldn't get involved with her. She is not a good person and will end up hurting you."

"W-what?" She replies in a daze before a little bit of that old spitfire energy comes back to her eyes. "You haven't t-talked to me in weeks, Sandra. And the first thing you do after we meet up again is try and make me stop seeing someone?! What gives you the right?!"

A little shocked, I take a step back and raise my hands up placatingly. "Aims, she isn't a good person. Everyone knows she likes to abuse the girls she dates, eventually. Literally, ask anyone who knows her and the answer will be the same! I don't want you to go through that, I don't want you to get hurt!"

She frowns as she stands, a cold like I've never known coursing through my veins as she looks at me with contempt. "I can't believe you'd buy in to all those nasty rumors. Mary is sweet to me, and doesn't judge me about my... issues. She said she didn't care about any of that, she just wanted to be with me! Why are you trying to break us up? Why can't you just be happy for me for finding someone after Jessica left?!"

I go to take a step forward, but my feet are planted to the ground, body unresponsive at the thought of causing her pain. "A-Aims, of course I want you to be happy! But Mary is-"

"Just stop it!" Amelia nearly shouts, her body shaking all over and I can't tell if its another panic attack or she is just that mad at me. Either way, it only causes that swirl of darkness in the pit of my chest to grasp my heart.

Before I can say anything else, she storms around me. In the direction of where Mary went. As I turn to follow her with my eyes, hatred rises in me like I've never known as there leaning against the side of the building is a smug looking Mary Elizabeth. Watching everything that just happened.

So blinded by my rage, I almost miss Amelia leaning over to plant a kiss on her lips before the both of them turn the corner, hand in hand.

---

Fall rolls into winter. Classes and work keep my mind off of that horrid memory. Mostly. Though it does little to stop it from constantly appearing in my dreams. Sometimes, I chase after Amelia and carry her away from that wretched woman. Others, Amelia just... listens to me. And the worst ones are when Amelia gains that same viper look and tells me she d-doesn't love me anymore.

Those are the ones that break me, that make me wake up sobbing to the point of throwing up in the toilet and leave me shaking like a leaf.

Sadly, yesterday was one of those times despite being strung out most of the day and I find myself hugging the base of the toilet as my stomach begins to settle. That is, until a knock comes to the front door of the shitty little apartment.

I debate ignoring it, probably someone trying to sell something or those traveling religious nut jobs. Even if it's past dark out now. But whoever is waiting knocks once more, though softer this time followed by a voice that makes my weary soul sing.

"S-Sandra? C-can I come in, please?" The paper-thin walls here let me hear as I shakily stand up and throw on a T shirt. Thank God I cleaned yesterday before falling asleep at noon...

Shouting to buy some time between donning the T and reaching the door, I exclaim, "C-coming Aims! One second!"

My trembling hand unlatches the locks and opens up the dark and dingy wooden door to reveal a distraught and terrified Amelia. Instinct takes over as I quickly reach out and pull her into the apartment, into a hug. My foot acting on its own as it closes the door behind us and I move her to the couch wordlessly.

Quiet sobs escape her as I reflexively pull her head into my neck and begin stroking her hair. Her arms come around my waist and pull me close into her for the first time in what feels like ages. Even then, it still makes every part of me dazzle in prismatic warmth. Just like it always does~.

It takes a few minutes, ten to fifteen, before Aims settles down enough to even attempt talking. And when she does, that roar of fury boils my blood like never before.

"Y-you were r-right. I'm s-sorry." She whispers against the nape of my neck. I pull her back and see it.

The marks on her throat. The stinging red skin in the shape of a handprint on her cheek. The broken eyes that tremble and stare at the ground.

Something inside of me... breaks. That inky black mass rips apart and burrows into every muscle, bone, and cell. My mind stills to an eerie calm as I pull her back against me, the care and love still genuine and easing her into rest.

"I have to go take care of something, but I'll be right back baby girl. Just rest here, don't leave until I come back, okay?" I whisper softly to her as she gets comfortable on the couch. I only receive a nod in response even though its obvious she wants me to stay. Instead, I plant a small kiss to the top of her head.

"I won't be long, just an hour or two. Rest here for a bit, you're safe now. I promise." Apparently, that small but heartfelt assurance is all it takes for her to finally drift on into sleep. I leave her side and go to the tool box under the sink pulling out a pair of long nosed pliers with blades on the inseams. I then go to my room and get the 6-inch-long combat knife from under my pillow, a gift from dad. 'For protection'.

Locking the door behind me as I leave and dressed in nearly all black clothing as night has settled in earnest, I hop on my bike and make the 30-minute ride to the campus dorm parking lot, careful to avoid any cameras. Even if nearly half of them don't work.

Once there, I find what I'm looking for. An obnoxiously pink VW Beetle with a sickening amount of stickers pasted on the rear windshield. I do a lap around the entire thing just to make sure no one is out, and when the coast seems clear I lean the bike on the ground in the shadows of an unlit section of the lot. Always scanning, I make my way as nonchalantly as I can toward my target.

One last head swivel and then I tuck and roll under the car, fetching out the pliers from before as I fumble around in the darkness for what I'm looking for. It takes a few minutes, but eventually I'm able to find the brake lines. A partial snip to all four wheels just behind the calipers. Just enough to not be noticeable until she takes the long, winding hill road down from the university entrance and into the city proper.

I roll back from under the car and make my way back to the bicycle, again careful not to be spotted in any way. The ride back goes fine, the expected rush of adrenaline, fear of my actions, guilt, remorse, panic. None of it comes. The only thing I feel... is satisfaction.

I make my way back inside to the still sleeping Amelia. I can't help but give a little soft smile as emotions come rushing back into me while I stroke her hair gently. The prismatic love, the warm tenderness, the clinging possessiveness. It's almost enough to make me laugh. I didn't feel a single thing doing what I just did, but being near her makes my whole word seem... alive. Perfect~.

News travels around a couple days later, Amelia still crashing at my place for now. A tragic accident that lead to the deaths of one Mary Elizabeth and an older man in a 50's pickup at the intersection just downhill from campus.

Apparently, no one is looking into it too heavily since Mary was known to speed and drive recklessly, already having several tickets under her belt that she somehow weaseled out of in court. As for the old man... I didn't really care in the slightest.

---

Another month goes by before Amelia decides to try going back to the dorms. Something I - gently - try to argue against her doing after our last argument. The thought of her being away from me now makes me terrified beyond words. Despite my soft pleading, those determined eyes only stare back at me and give the same answer as her lips, "I have to do this, Sandy."

I hate that she is so strong. And I love her for her strength. A sigh escapes me as I can only nod and give in, promising myself to keep a closer eye on her from now on. For forever.

After helping her get settled back in, things seem to go normally for a another couple months before a 'friend' invites us both to a party. Even if I couldn't give a shit about anyone but Amelia. Speaking of, her eyes look over to me in question.

"D-do you want to go, Sandy? If you want to, I-I don't really mind..." Her timid voice asks.

I think about it for a few seconds. Debating if I even want to expose Amelia to something like that, but she tugs on my sleeve and breaks me from thought. "Y-you haven't gone out since..." She freezes for a moment, a haunted look passing her face before she shakes it off and continues, "Well, for a few months. I feel bad, like I'm holding you back from having fun and meeting people. Even if I don't really want to go..." She mumbles that last bit, but I sigh all the same.

"I think it might be good to get both of us out of our rooms for a little bit..." I admit, the thoughts of drinking and maybe scoring some pot tickling my mind in a familiar, needy way. "But, if you want to leave, you just let me know and we'll bounce. No questions asked, okay?"

She gives a hesitant nod before the nameless female acquaintance gives a thumbs up. "Sweet~!" She begins to say, "It'll be us three, a few others, and my roommate Jennean. We have our own little house just off campus, so anything goes~! See you all there!"

A couple days come and go until both Aims and I are standing at the... quaint little house hosting the party. EDM music already escaping its wood paneled walls as Amelia takes a breath. I turn to face her and squeeze her hand as she returns the gesture. "Remember, if you want to leave just come find me and tell me. I'll try not to be away from you for too long, but I know you don't like watching me... party."

"It's okay, Sandy. Just g-go have fun, you've earned it after taking care of me for so long." Aims replies after shaking her head softly.

I lean over and wrap her in a hug, her perfect presence sending waves of prismatic pureness through my body. "It was never a chore. I love you, Amelia. I'll always be there for you."

She giggles softly before answering back, "I love you too, Sandra."

Even though I know the meaning is different, just hearing those words nearly makes my knees go weak and threatens to bring tears to my eyes. The overwhelming bonfire of multitude color suffusing my mind, heart, and soul~.

The party is standard fare, alcohol and both hard and soft drugs in abundance. Amelia, of course, doesn't partake too much but does end up taking a fairly watered-down drink I pour for her.

Minutes stretch to hours, the thump and bump of music resonating in my chest as I dance and drink and smoke to my heart's content~. Honestly, despite not giving one crap about anyone here besides Aims, its... fun. I haven't been able to cut loose and just enjoy myself for months, yet I don't regret it for a moment. Keeping her safe is all that matters to me.

That thought brings me back to the present as I realize I haven't seen Aims in a little while. Curious, I break away from the impromptu dance floor in the cleared out living room and go searching the small house. The bathroom reveals a couple randoms with powdered noses sniffing loudly as they shake their heads and blink their eyes rapidly. The small little white lines of dust on the counter the obvious culprit.

Closing the door, I do another glance around the kitchen to no avail. Much every room is the same, though I don't bother with the bedrooms. For now. As I go to check the back porch, the 'host' of the party - and the one who invited us - catches me by the arm.

Nearly shouting over the bumping music, she leans in and shout-whispers, "Looking for your sister~? Her and Jennean hit it off, I think they're 'getting to know each other' in her room~."

As soon as I register the words, I mentally scream at myself. Fuck! Stupid! Idiot!! You worthless druggie bitch!! Can't you do something as simple as watch over your sister at a party she didn't even wantto go to?!

Red rage and black fury spin to life inside me as I all but shove the annoying cunt off my arm, her wide eyes fearful even as she regroups and stands between me and the hallway. "Whoa, whoa!! Slow down, Sandra! You got to have your fun, let your sister do the s-"

My fist *cracks* against her chin, and she goes down like a sack of potatoes. No one the wiser as they're too busy doing what I was not but a few minutes ago.

I march my way to the two bedroom doors at the end of the hall, the first one empty. As I go to the second, a loud sound that I never thought I would hear makes my heart falter. "*Ahh~!*"

A moan from a voice familiar and not. Soft and sweet piercing through the faded hum of music. Near instantly, a wetness beginning to drip between my shaking thighs. Torn between wanting to rip this door off the hinges, to pull her out of this random whore's arms. To beat this tramp to near death for daring to touch my Amelia and...

With a burning shame that brings tears to my eyes, my hand slips underneath my jeans. Ear pressed against the door as the most heavenly sounds that I thought I would never hear in my life float into my brain. Looking back... it's kind of ironic. Both of us came at the same time.

---

Another month rolls around, the girl who's Jennean's roommate not remembering a lick of what happened in the hallway. That, or she's too terrified to say anything. Smart of her.

Amelia and this new wretch have been dating ever since the party. Our time together slowly but surely getting less and less frequent. A hurried excuse here, a panicked end to a phone call there. Some vague reason she had to cancel our weekly catch up over coffee.

All too obvious. The regretful shame and fear in Amelia's eyes as she asks me to leave before her 'girlfriend' comes over. The only response I get when I ask why, "J-Jennean just wants our time to be to ourselves, that's all."

"I haven't even met her yet, Aims. Not properly. Shouldn't I at least have a conversation with her after what happened with you and Mary?" I ask making it my turn to feel regret. Knowing that the low blow hits heavy on her, but is no less factual.

"You will! I promise, I just... I like her and I don't want to screw this up. She uh..." She pauses as she thinks of another excuse before finding one, "Right! She isn't comfortable meeting my family yet!"

My eyes level on her, squinting in the way that shows her I know she's lying. "Is she hurting you? Like that bitch did?" I bark out maybe a bit too harshly going by how Aims cowers a little.

"N-no!! Nothing like that, I promise Sands! She's just... passionate."

"Passionate, huh?" I reply coolly before glancing up at the spot I know a hidden camera sits. One of many I installed over time while Aims was out to classes without her knowing. All of their past 'passionate' exchanges recorded on a burner laptop back at my house. All the one sided fights and yelling, the manipulative begging for more and more money. Money which Aims no longer has, and which our parents won't give her anymore.

The only thing stopping my hand from acting on that information that makes the black knot in my torso scream being that they're still together. That doing anything now would still hurt Amelia, even if I know its the right thing to do.

I sigh and gather my things before walking back and giving her a hug and kiss on the temple. "Alright. I'll go. I'm only a phone call away, baby girl. I love you."

She holds me tight, tighter than she ever has before and softly replies back, "I love you too, Sandra. Thank you..." The relief evident in her tone. I know she doesn't want me to leave. She just doesn't want me to see what comes next.

I go home, pulling up the burner laptop as I swirl some cheap whiskey in a red plastic cup. Eyes glued to the screen and ears tuned into the headphones as I watch it all go down in flames. My sister left unmoving and staring at the door that Jennean just left with suitcase in tow. At last, the whore has finally given up on my Amelia. At last... I can act.

First things first, I wait for the inevitable call from Amelia which comes only a couple hours later. Rushing back to comfort her, she spills everything that I already know has happened the last month broken between sobs and hitches of breath that only feed my dark flame further. As soon as she's calmed down and weary, I ease her into bed and tell her I'm going to go get some food for us and that she should just rest for now.

She nods and is out like a light as soon as her head finds the pillow. I debate going after that vile woman right away, instinctsscreaming to erase her from existence for manipulating my baby girl like she did, but... not yet. Too suspicious. Too many raised eyebrows that would come from it. So... I actually go get us food.

A few weeks pass with Aims finally on the mend again, even if it takes near constant reassurance and an awkward phone call to our family. They all but demand she come home after everything that's happened, promising to give her free room and board to ensure she's safe again. And as much as I hate the idea of even interacting with our parents anymore... I agree with them, which only makes my poor darling girl hang her head in defeat.

Its set that she'll finish out the year here at university, then switch to a community college closer to our suburban house back in El Reno to finish out her degree. I help her catch up on her studies, which apparently had been woefully behind between all of these harlots interference and Aims' mental health issues in general. But, we both pass with decent marks, and the semester comes to a close.

Our parents and I help her load all her things in a moving van, not a word spoken between me and them, and we equally get her set back up in her old room. I also ensured that I took down all the cameras before that point, for obvious reasons.

As the summer months scorch down, I do my best to visit Aims once a week or so, but my focus is now on something else just as important. Revenge. Retribution. Justice.

It isn't hard to sneak back into another party at that fateful house during the off-school season. Another bland, uneventful occurrence that poses as something greater for simpler minds. But I'm not here for that. I'm here for my target.

And, as if nothing is amiss in the world, there she is leaning against the kitchen counter. All smiles and wavy raven black hair talking to some hapless young woman with stars in her eyes.

I stealthy move out of her eyesight, checking the little baggie in my pocket holding a singular pill. Confirming it's still there, I slink past the crowd and work the little plastic bag open, fingers dexterously freeing what's inside. As she goes to pull some moves on her new mark, I drop it in to the mostly full red plastic cup. It fizzes for a second before properly diluting until only I am the wiser.

Backing away to loudly grab a beer from the fridge, I shut it hard which brings both women's attentions to me. I pop the cap off the bottleneck and then take a swig before turning my eyes toward the whore's.

"Jennean." I say with ice in my tone.

"S-Sandra... What are you doing here?" Her reply trembles back.

"Just seeing if I can save another girl from your manipulative bullshit." The answer comes back glacially before I turn my head toward the girl in question. "This bitch robs people blind and manipulates them the whole way. Don't fall for her tricks."

Then without waiting for an answer I turn around and leave to post up by the front door to keep both of them in peripheral view. The other girl quickly makes an excuse and scampers off, causing the frustrated Jennean to growl and then throw back her drink all in one go, a confused look coming across her face before she shrugs and goes to make another. Just like I planned~.

Within a few minutes, she is wobbly on her legs. Surprise and confusion evident on her as she awkwardly stumbles toward the bathroom. She only makes it far enough to be out of eyesight of the other party guests aside from me, who has been watching like a hawk and shifting spots. Seeing her fall, I quickly go up and hook my arms under hers, dragging her down the hall and into her bedroom with none the wiser.

Laying her on the bed, I pull out a pair of latex gloves from my back pocket and rummage through her nightstand until I find what I know is there. Several baggies and pill bottles of various drugs. Taking an assortment, I drop them into her mouth one by one after propping her head up on the pillows, using my hand to coax her throat to get them down. Eight in total of different make, shape, and color, and I leave all the evidence open and available for the coroner to witness after putting her fingerprints on all of them.

Shock shakes the local headlines as a young woman was found overdosed after an underaged party filled with drugs and alcohol. The police go around to question folks, but the only two people who knew or could remember I was there are either dead or a terrified girl who keeps her lips sealed so as not to get herself in trouble.

And, just like before... I don't feel a damn thing wrong about any of it.

---

Summer comes to a close and courses start up again. Nearly another full year passes before any sense of trouble pops up, my time spent between work, school, and my weekly meet ups with Amelia as I do my best to keep her confident and moving forward. And it seems to work. Perhaps a little too well...

One night as I suffer through another of our monthly 'family dinners', Aims reveals she has started seeing someone again. A girl who shared a couple classes with her, and that they've actually been dating for about three months now. Our parents, understandably, aren't exactly thrilled by the news, but they don't have the heart to give anything other than begrudging acceptance toward the situation. I do my best to hide my outrage and fear.

Just like Aims, they too have been beaten down and torn apart watching their daughter go through all of this recent strife. I can respect them a little for that, at least.

Like some kind of fucked up recurring prophecy, it ends poorly for mysweet sister. I dig into this new paramour, this Taylor, in the time between the reveal and it all crashing down around Amelia yet again. Apparently she's never even dated a woman before, or if she had she's kept it off or removed it from socials. Something I find suspicious in and of itself, but people do experiment in college. I just hate that she's using my sister to do so.

Other than that, a model student and a seemingly forward and upbeat person. I restrain myself from going as far as actually stalking her, but the temptation is there. Simmering beneath the surface. The need to know more, to protect my baby girl, howling at me. The desire to not make the same mistake a thirdtime and let her get hurt again at odds with... well, the reality of the situation.

They're in an entirely different school than me. Aims is living at home. I have no idea where this other woman even lives. Though I do know what she drives since she sometimes comes to pick up Aims and I'm able to ferret the information from our folks. A black Camaro, new and shiny. At least she won't be like that last wretch who was after Aims for money...

Turns out, I didn't have to raise a finger this time anyway. About two weeks after Aims told us she was dating again, she yet again found herself bawling in my arms. Not because they had broken up, no that was unfortunately a week after the reveal. But because Taylor had taken a private jet to some tropical island that had crashed over the Caribbean and subsequently was presumed dead.

The investigation was on going, but the initial reporting seems to point to inclement weather obscuring the pilots view and faulty instruments on the outdated and poorly serviced Leer jet. Either way, saves me the trouble~.

It takes Amelia less time to recover than I thought it would. Likely because of the frankly insulting way Taylor broke up with her. Throwing her aside the moment she opened up to her, the moment she became vulnerable. I hope the sharks ate good when she went to meet them since they never recovered the bodies. Even if I could imagine some more... creative ways to make her pay.

Though I hate seeing her lonely and sad, this last encounter with romance finally steers Amelia away from the topic in general. Our parents not even attempting to offer platitudes of 'you just haven't met the right person' or 'it will all work out in time' to the despondent love of my life. We spend more and more time together as months and then a year go by. Both of us on the cusp of graduating college now, only a year left in our studies.

For the last year, she once again tries to move out stating it was something she needed to do. The familiar determination so absent from her since all this began enough to give both me and our folks pause until we reluctantly sign off on it. Even though I do offer to let her stay with me for a time, much to my mother's patent dismay.

Within the first week, Amelia calls me and begs for me to come over.

Rushing through traffic, I nearly tear the door off the hinges as I unlock it with a spare key, Amelia huddled into a ball and crying on her bed. I cradle her face to my chest, humming a soft, soothing melody from our childhood as I gently stroke her hair.

The sunlight bathing the room seemingly prismed and lighting the room with color that I swear radiates out of me. Whimpering, stifled breath the sign of a panic attack echoing into my chest before I lean down and kiss the top of her perfect head.

"You are so brave, baby girl. I wish you would have taken me up on the offer to live with me after Taylor. I know how much it was hurting you to live with mom and dad, much as they mean well. But I shouldn't be surprised that you'd pick the option that you thought would inconvenience everyone the least~. Too thoughtful for your own good, little Aims..."

The warmth in my chest is almost unbearable. The want - theneed - to proclaim my true feelings to her nearly stumbling out of my mouth. The desire to press her lips to mine, her scent and clinging touch driving me to near madness. To wrap her hands in mine and make her scream in ecstasy. But... all I can do in the end is smile as she looks at me with those big, doe eyes.

I tuck her back into my chest as she locks her legs around mine, threatening to unravel the last of my self-control under the silky touch of skin meeting. "Amelia, one day you're going to accept yourself and rely on others. Rely on me. And you'll know its not a weakness to do that by then, not a burden. I know you can't hear me right now," I pause, taking a quick breath as I allow myself at least this much. "But I love you, darlin'. And I'll always be right here to see you when you break on through to the other side. Like you always do."

She whimpers and clings, unaware of the different tone and importance of how I spoke my truth. But that's okay. I'll know that I confessed. That for one moment, I let that prismatic fire free.

As she finally nods off to sleep after the attack, I keep my cloying grip on her and whisper, "I love you so much, Amelia. I want you to be mine, forever." I sigh, knowing that this much is all I could ever do, no matter how much I wish for the opposite. With a voice filled with heartbreaking sorrow, tears stream down my face as I lean down and rest my head on hers, I whisper to the fates, "Maybe in a different world..."