Chapter 184: Wouldn’t mind
Chapter 183
Ciel
I feel even more terrible and guilty that Jack is saying it’s okay.
"Something else," I say.
He waits.
"Uhm... I usually have my heat like four times a year. Every couple of months." I look down at Lanny. At his tiny fingers curled around Jack’s shirt.
Jack looks at me.
"How often do you have your ruts?" I ask.
"How often do you have your ruts?" I ask.
He pauses, as if to think about it.
For the duration I’ve known Jack, he’s never really had his rut. Not once. Not even a hint of one.
"It should be the same, but I’m on suppressants, so I’m not sure," he says.
Right. Omega suppressants can only reduce symptoms and control pheromones. Alpha suppressants can totally control their biology and hormone levels.
Another imbalance in society.
"So why are you asking?" He shifts, careful not to jostle Lanny.
I exhale.
"I’m a dominant omega." The words feel heavy. "So even if the chances are low, there’s a chance I might get pregnant."
Jack freezes.
"So I wanted to know whether we should get birth control before, so that we don’t have any... accidents."
"Oh." Jack’s voice is quiet.
"So what do you think? Should I get birth control?"
He’s quiet for a moment. Then: "It doesn’t matter what I think, sunshine."
His hand squeezes mine.
"What do you think? How do you feel about the possibility of having another child?"
He places me on the spot.
I avoid his eyes.
"I..." I start.
"It’s okay." His voice is soft. Gentle. "I’ll support whatever choice you make. It’s your body, sunshine."
I look at Lanny. At his red curls, his golden eyes closed in sleep, his tiny chest rising and falling.
I love my child. I would die for him.
But...
I wouldn’t mind.
Having a choice this time.
Choosing Jack.
Besides—wouldn’t he look cute? A child like Jack. With his dark curls and his smile and his ridiculous, wonderful heart.
"I... I don’t think I would mind having your child."
The words come out before I can stop them.
Jack’s hand tightens around mine.
"Yeah?" His voice is rough.
I nod.
He interlocks our fingers. His palm is warm. Solid. Home.
"I wouldn’t mind that either," he says quietly. "In fact, I think I would be glad."
I look away.
"So no birth control? And if I get pregnant, it’s fine?"
He pulls my hand to his lips. Kisses my knuckles.
"It’s more than fine, sunshine."
I swallow.
"Okay."
"Okay."
Lanny shifts between us. A small sound. A flutter of his lashes. Then he settles again, fist still curled in Jack’s shirt.
I watch him sleep.
Another child.
I think I’d like that.
I think I’d like that very much.
***
Nolan
I feel like I was hit by a truck.
And it was rushing toward me at the speed of light.
I groan and open my eyes.
Everything hurts. My back. My thighs. My abdomen.My throat is dry—sandpaper dry, like I’ve been screaming.
Well... technically I was.
I sit up with effort. The room spins. I wait for it to stop.
"Well, welcome back to the land of the living," a voice says.
I turn my head. Ciel is on the floor, playing with Lanny. Blocks. Stacking. Knocking over. Lanny giggles every time the tower falls.
"W—" My voice cracks. I clear my throat. "What’s the time?"
"It’s 4 p.m." Ciel doesn’t look up. He’s focused on Lanny, on the blocks, on being a parent. "The day is over."
I stare at him.
My mind is still barely computing.
"Water?" I manage.
"Yes, please." He stands up, pours me a glass from the pitcher on the nightstand. I gulp it down. It’s cool. Smooth. It soothes my raw throat.
"You can go take a shower, or should I run you a bath?" He takes the empty glass from me.
"A bath, please." I need to soak. In hot water. For a very long time.
*
I slide into the hot bubble bath in the giant tub and sigh. The water is almost too hot—just right. It seeps into my muscles, loosening knots and I close my eyes.
A few moments later, Ciel walks in with a plate of pasta. Steam rises from it. It smells like garlic and herbs and heaven.
I help myself.
While eating, I ask, "Where’s the culprit who got me into this position? He should be waiting on me like this."
Ciel laughs. He’s sitting on the edge of the tub, arms crossed, watching me.
"Jack waited for you to wake up. He only left two hours ago. Something came up." His eyes are amused.
I twirl the fork, take another bite, and almost moan.
I love Ciel’s cooking.
"Still," I grumble childishly.
"So how was it?" His eyes are sparkling now. Curious. Mischievous.
I chew slowly. Buy myself time.
"Do I have to answer that?"
"Jack said it was—and what was the word he used? Oh yes—phenomenal." Ciel’s voice is light, teasing.
I groan and keep eating.
"It’s definitely not something my body can handle often," I say.
"So once was enough?"
"I didn’t say that."
Ciel grins.
"My body is just not built to handle him like that," I say, setting down my fork. "Seriously, I’ll die. I’ll need time to recover."
Ciel laughs.
"You’ll get used to it."
"No, thanks." I say immediately.
Ciel laughs harder.
"Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to handle his sex drive alone. We can do it." Ciel says, sounding as if we’re going to war.
I scoff.
"You know, Jack told me everything." He starts.
I quickly engross myself in the food, shoving pasta into my mouth like it might save me from this conversation.
"I bet you’re glad you joined my Pilates now, don’t you?"
I ignore him.
"He told me he had your legs up there, folded up like an orega—"
"Ciel!" I cut him off, and he laughs even harder.
I’m going to kill Jack when I see him.