Chapter 370: A True Test of Emotions
"...Shizuka, are you okay?" Eve asks me while I'm staring at a pool of blood, seeing my reflection in it. I'm completely drenched in blood and there's a bad, heavy feeling in my heart.
"I am... sorry for stopping the fight. Killing so many people makes me feel strange and uncomfortable... it's... almost painful to hear their screams... even though I try to kill them quickly, there are still the people around who see me as a monster."
"I... I guess I wasn't ready for the looks of fear... I prepared myself to kill people, but when the moment came, it was very different from what I expected, and I hadn't prepared myself to see the despair and fear on the angels' faces," I tell her what I'm feeling.
"..." Eve crouches down beside me, and I see she's also dirty with blood. It sounds kind of idiotic for us to be stopped, staring at our reflections in the blood while not far away angels and demons fight to the death.
"Don't worry, that's good, isn't it? I mean you feeling like this. You don't need to like it. I myself don't like it, and Evelyn-sama doesn't like it either. We just have to do it. I prefer it this way; it's good to see that you don't like it."
"When you tortured that angel, testing your powers, you seemed so excited. Honestly, I was worried you enjoyed it, but I see it was more excitement about your power than an interest in killing."
"...You're not going to give up, are you?" Eve asks seriously.
"No! Obviously not... it's just grotesque, and kind of terrible... and complicated... and my mind becomes a mess of emotions... I know I'm fighting for what I wanted, but fighting is so uncomfortable."
"I didn't expect to receive hatred without reason... people who have never seen me in their lives and who don't know me, but they still hate me..."
"In my other life, the people who hated me were at least people I knew and who knew me. I had never received such blatant and vivid hatred from strangers." When I say this, Eve seems pensive.
"But you also received companionship, didn't you? Weren't the soldiers respectful? I even saw them inviting you to sit beside them to eat and tell stories."
"Well... it's true they were very open, but that's just because I look like a demon, right?" My red skin, my eyes with slit pupils, and my long black tail. I literally look like a demon.
"The angels give you hatred without reason just because you look like a demon. Isn't it literally the same thing? Hatred and companionship based on the appearance you project. Is it really different in any way?" Her question leaves me confused and a little frustrated.
"S-So you're saying that only appearance matters in this context?"
"In a way, yes." When she says that, I feel like I'm going to cry. It's almost like trivializing everything I suffered in my other life.
"T-That's so unfair..." It's so unfair to me and to everything I lived through in so many different ways.
"Yes, it is. But isn't that why friendships, love, and couples exist? When you have a deep bond, appearance ceases to matter. With people we don't know, the first important aspect will always be appearance."
"...A-And so how will I know if you really care about me or if you're just using me to help Evelyn? Evelyn at least made it clear that I only exist to be useful to her. B-But you're my girlfriend. You accepted before. So how can I expect you to actually like me at some point?"
"You said love didn't matter before," she uses my past words as an argument.
"I-I lied!! I-I lied... I want to be loved... love matters... I-I was just too desperate for something with someone and didn't want to seem desperate." I start to cry, feeling suffocated and crushed by the weight of everything I'm doing.
"W-Whenever I seemed desperate in my other life, the bullying got worse, so if I seemed desperate for affection, I thought you would despise me."
"..." Eve looks around and sighs, almost coldly.
"That's so foolish. You don't know me well enough to say I would despise you for something as trivial as showing weakness. But since you want proof, I'll give you uncomfortable, vile, and irrefutable proof."
"Do you want this proof? It will be unpleasant, just as the truth often is."
"I-I want it then..." I prefer bad proof over having no concrete proof at all, since without concrete proof I can only speculate, and when I speculate, my mind always goes to the bad side.
"..." Eve starts to take off her light armor, revealing she's wearing a dress that's actually quite elegant. She soon pushes me down into the pool of blood, leaving me confused.
"H-Hiik!" She plunges the blade of her sword right beside my head, making me cower in fear for a moment. Soon, she sits on my hips, quickly grabbing my hands.
"Put your tail inside me."
"...?"
"Let's fuck."
"...!!? A-Are you crazy?"
"A little. It's a war. We're bathed in blood and surrounded by corpses. Tell me, how many people would have the courage to give their body to you in this situation? Is there any greater proof of real emotion here inside?"
"..."
"I'm not going to take off my dress. No one will even notice. This place is relatively safe at the moment. We just need to be quick before returning to the fight, unless you think the funereal and bloody setting is something that prevents you from showing interest in me."
"..." I shyly move my tail under her dress. My tail moves her panties aside and enters all at once. Using enemy blood as lubricant, it manages to go very deep inside Eve, who keeps an almost cold expression.
"T-This is disgusting..." I say, feeling nauseous.
"Yes, I think so too. You know when people get married and there's the saying 'In sickness and in health' to mean the couple will always be together?"
"It also works for normal bonds, any bond you have with someone special. If that person is willing to be with you in happy or sad moments, they are someone loyal."
"Being with someone in happy moments is easy. Now, being there in sad or disgusting moments is hard."
"Isn't fucking with corpses' blood all around us proof of genuine emotions? If you wanted proof that goes beyond appearance, is there anything better than this?"
"Or will your disgust make you recoil? But if you recoil now, it will show your hypocrisy. It will show that you are the one incapable of sustaining any form of love."
"...I-I want to stay... I want something real with someone..." When I say this, Eve starts to move her hips slowly. Even if someone were nearby, they wouldn't be able to tell what she's doing.
Honestly, I feel like throwing up, not because of what Eve is doing, but because of the environment, the smell of death, the violence I had to cause and can't forget.
But Eve gives me strength, a kind of strange strength. But she's the second person to "trust" me in an intimate way. The first was Evelyn with her contract.
"Y-You know, you're a lot like Evelyn... and I don't mean just in appearance..."
"...That's nice, I guess..." I don't know if she liked what I said or not, since her expression is very neutral.
"Eve... is this good for you?"
"Honestly... no. Your tail is hard and the scales hurt my inner walls. Besides, having other people's blood shoved into my intimate parts makes me feel a certain nausea. Visually, there's nothing exciting about being surrounded by death either."
"But we're not doing this for pleasure, are we? If either of us felt pleasure in this, I would sincerely question your and my mental sanity. This isn't 'sex.' It's an answer to a doubt for both of us."
"Both of us?"
"...I also had doubts about you, far more than you imagine. I don't trust you, but I gave you trust. They are two different things."
"But you've been managing to earn my trust, because you've been doing your duty even if you don't like it. And that's enough for me. I learned to be more complacent over time."
'She's so... warm inside...' Eve's pussy is like a warm hug. My sensitive tail actually kind of likes being in there.
"Eve, if I could have any wish in the world, I would have liked to be born in a peaceful world by your side. It would be nice to have a normal life beside an incredible girl like you."
"..."
"If I could have any wish, I would wish for something for Evelyn-sama first. I'm sorry for not matching your answer."
"I-It's okay. I already imagined that. But what do you think of my wish?"
"...Foolish, silly, and almost childish, but it has its charm. It reveals a lot of your mind. I see you didn't have an easy life at all in the past... Evelyn-sama also suffered a lot. Maybe that's why she chose you."
'She suffered too...'
"Maybe..."
"We only have another 7 minutes of this. I hope that's enough for you."
"I-It certainly is." I myself don't want to spend too much time fucking her amid this bizarre scene we're in. I would rather do this in a bedroom.
"General Eve, we managed to gain two meters of ground!" A soldier comes running up while Eve doesn't stop slowly riding my tail for a moment.
"..." Eve looks at the soldier with a very icy gaze.
"Excellent. Order the mages and archers to press the angels downward, while making the angels on the ground fall back at least another meter and a half. If we can achieve that before nightfall, it will be possible to set up barricades for tomorrow." I look at Eve, who even in the face of all this, gives orders.
'She's so incredible...'