Chapter 365: Little equals
"Is something wrong, Saluvia?" Evelyn asks me as I watch her and her daughter. Evelyn is bouncing her on her lap while Kali plays with a little ball, trying to chew on it.
"Nothing..." I say, observing everything she does intently. Evelyn takes Kali to the crib and then approaches me.
"I know something's wrong. You've been watching me too much, and—"
"How have you been dealing with your desire for treasure without being able to leave this room? Has your other body that's at the castle been visiting the vault?" She is a dragon. She needs to see her treasure.
"Something like that..." She dodges the question a little.
"Your horns seem a few millimeters larger... and your tail seems more active, trying to grab things. A sign of anxiety on your tail's part."
"..."
"And your behavior has been changing." Without a doubt, after long hours of observation, I can state with absolute certainty: Evelyn has been getting closer to being a lovesick dragon.
Her permissive behavior with Esther has become even more blatant, while her attitudes toward everything have become far more shallow. A good example of this is her own lack of activity regarding the war that's going on.
In the past, regardless of suffering, having Esther as an enemy, or being at a deep level of depression without the help of medication, Evelyn was still actively functional in matters involving the war.
Now she outsources absolutely everything to Esther. This is not merely laziness, or absolute confidence that Esther will do the best job. It is the inability to decide for herself without the approval of the one she loves.
"You've been leaving absolutely everything to Esther, even the smallest details of your life you no longer do unless Esther approves. Honestly, you seem like a doll. The only difference is that you talk."
"B-But I fight with Esther, and—"
"Fighting with Esther is not enough to prove free will. After all, you always end up agreeing to what she asks or forgiving her for everything. Honestly, you only fight with Esther to have the feeling that you have some control, when in reality you can't even choose what scent to use during a bath unless Esther tells you."
"Look, I'm fine. I'm not that far gone in love... I just naturally take a long time to choose personal things related to my appearance."
"...Of course. Let's take your appearance out of the equation, then. What do you have to say about food? You've never again made a food request that is purely yours, aside from the golden apple. And you only ask for the golden apple because you like its appearance, not because you really want it specifically to eat, even though you like the taste."
"Honestly, it's been months since you asked for something you like or have an interest in. You only eat what Esther chooses without trying to choose something for yourself."
"...Esther chooses what's healthiest, that's all. You yourself said I should eat well." She uses this as an excuse.
"...You've never questioned Esther about your medication. You don't even ask me what I know. You don't even give me any order to find out what the hell Esther has been giving you to take."
"The medication is because I know it's important for my health. There's no reason to question it." Evelyn keeps coming up with excuses for everything.
"So rubbing yourself on the things Esther uses is also just because you're needy and not because you're addicted to her? Or do you think I didn't see you doing that?"
"T-That's not how it is."
"No? Evelyn, there isn't a single day that I don't see you having something nearby that Esther touched before. And that's without me even starting on your nighttime sessions, where you give yourself pleasure moaning Esther's name for hours."
"Honestly, it's as if Esther has become your entire world. We talked recently about Kali and her future, but how can you improve if you do this kind of thing? You could put a little more effort into resisting your dragon instincts."
"Esther isn't the only thing that exists, you know?"
"..."
"And what do you expect me to do?" She speaks to me in a sharp tone, not liking hearing the truth.
"Besides, why should I do anything? Either way, Esther will do everything for me. There's no need at all for me to be active in anything."
"...It's not good for you or for Esther that you just obey her as if nothing else matters." I tell her the most basic logic of all.
"Saluvia, and what do you expect me to do? Is there something? There's no way to beat biology, you know? I—" Before Evelyn can do anything, Kali in the crib starts crying, which catches Evelyn's attention, and she goes to her.
"..." I keep staring.
'What foolishness...' Truly the most pathetic Demon Queen I've ever seen in my entire life. If it weren't for the contract, I would never be here trying to help.
'What a hassle...' Normally, every job I had was short-term. The Demon Kings and Queens were generally skilled and super autonomous, so when they needed my services, it was a matter of days.
With Evelyn, I've already been active for more than two years, and she still hasn't moved from the same place.
'Contract... I should have stipulated the contract rules better, added a time limit...' I never expected to have to treat someone's mental health. This takes too long and is frustrating.
The situation is obvious, the answer even more obvious, but this foolish depressive doesn't follow what's best, even knowing what she should do.
I understand psychology, I really understand it very well, but even though I understand, I've never fully comprehended it. Why? Why does this happen? Why, even when the solution is obvious, do people like Evelyn not do it?
Even when Evelyn sees the problem, she simply ignores it, as if ignoring it would make it disappear. At this rate, I'll have to stay in Evelyn's service without a single day off until the day she loses her title or dies.
'So much work...' I approach Evelyn and then grab her arm, making her look at me.
"I heard the sounds last night. From the picture I had before, Esther only devoured your tail. Why did you start giving her your organs to eat? If you're really so independent, why don't you keep her eating only your tail?"
"..."
"You know that as a Ghoul, she'll want more and more. So why do you keep giving more? Even knowing that this is also worsening Esther's psychological state? If you love her, shouldn't you prevent her from getting worse?" The more Evelyn satisfies Esther's taste for flesh, the hungrier she will get.
"My medication has limits. It doesn't matter if Esther is taking medication to reduce hunger and instincts. You know the body adapts, right? Esther takes one pill a day. In two years, the effect will have dropped to only 30%."
"Unlike your depression medication, which acts more actively in the brain and has a much lower deterioration of effect, Esther's are extremely limiting."
"If you love her, shouldn't you avoid worsening her medical condition?" I use logic again, a logic that perhaps Evelyn will understand.
"...Because she likes it."
"What?"
"I gave it because she likes it. I can always rebuild what was lost on my body. There's no reason not to satisfy her when she needs it..." Evelyn makes it clear she won't stop when she says this to me.
"Wow, really, Evelyn?" I step back from her a little, adjusting my lab coat in an unpleasant nervous tic.
"You prefer her like this?"
"Honestly... yes. As long as Esther is like this, her eyes will be solely and exclusively mine. It's as if... the world were a desert and I were the only source of water in the world for Esther, and she needs this to be alive."
"And I... prefer it this way. I don't need Esther 'cured.' Even if being this way makes her hurt me, it's a small price for love." When Evelyn says this, I realize she's a lunatic just like Esther.
Especially because she considers this a "small" price for their love, when to me it seems quite far from being just love.
"...Forget it. You're completely right. You two are perfect for each other. I don't think there's any fixing something like this. Honestly, I've never seen such a perfect couple." Two insane madwomen who are obsessed with each other.
Is there any couple more solid than this? With the two of them being crazy in this way, is there really anything that could solve their obvious couple problems?
"Haa... at least give me some of your blood, your saliva, and your milk so I can test a few things. Maybe I can create or improve a medicine to help reduce the effect of your fluids." Since Evelyn's fluids are effectively an addictive and attractive drug to whoever she likes.
It would be good to have some of this for studies. Of course, this also reinforces what I said about Kali, considering that a baby is drinking milk that has this effect.
"Okay, we'll see about that later. I have to take care of Kali now. She's still crying, probably irritated and wanting to sleep." She speaks with a nod to me, focusing on her daughter.
I just leave the room. Talking to Esther first failed because Esther said she wouldn't change anything, and now talking to Evelyn failed because Evelyn doesn't even want to try to change.