Chapter 251: A Yangire and a Dorodere
"...Haaa..." I gasp in pain as I get out of bed, exhausted, listening to the faint sound of blood droplets falling. My tail is limp on the floor and my wings are tucked in, while I watch Esther drink a cup of tea.
The last few hours were painfully intense; it was the first time Esther had taken our relationship to something so extreme.
"You look sick, do you need medicine?" Esther asks with a fake smile but a cold tone, similar to how she used to be back when she didn’t care about anything.
"N-No... I’m just a little nauseous... b-but it’ll pass," I say, feeling full of pain and a bit of disgust at what happened a few hours ago.
"Alright then, I hope your nausea passes quickly," she says with a "kindness" that’s uncomfortable because she’s the cause of the nausea.
’Was this really necessary?’ I look at the bed, soaked in blood. It was the most disgusting sexual encounter we’ve had since we got married.
All because she wanted to test the "Limits" once and for all and define how far she could go without completely breaking our relationship. She really seemed like a wild beast driven by instinct.
’At least now that she’s set a limit, things will be lighter and more peaceful...’ A small victory, I guess.
"Please don’t do that again, Esther. It’s genuinely repulsive that you have the nerve to have sex with me while I’m injured like that."
"Don’t worry, I didn’t like it much either, since it gave me more hunger than pleasure doing that. I won’t do it again. I just wanted to find out what was so wrong with the two of us, but I appreciate your answers." She puts the cup on the table and stands up, coming over to me.
"You’re truly delicious..." she says, running her finger softly over my chest, before taking a step back.
"Don’t blame the instincts. You didn’t do this just because you were hungry. You did it on purpose," I say, going to the wardrobe, where there are already several clothes with my exact measurements, showing the efficiency of the shadows.
I choose an outfit, feeling Esther’s gaze on my body. It’s almost degrading to be seen by her like this.
"Oh yes, that’s true. I’m not saying it was my instincts’ fault. I clearly did it on purpose, Evelyn. But if you hated it so much, you shouldn’t have moaned for me, because that makes it hard to control myself," she says as I finish getting dressed, after using a damp cloth to clean the blood from my body.
’...’ I turn to her, and she won’t stop staring at my chest.
"Your heart still hasn’t returned," she murmurs, knowing this.
"Of course not. Why would I rebuild it if you were just going to tear it out again? It didn’t make sense to create a core at that moment."
"Are you angry? How cute." She sits on the table, almost rebelliously, since this is my room and she should at least have some respect for me, as I am her queen now.
"Don’t you feel disgust at what you did?"
"No."
"...I should have imagined that... At least... did you like my heart?" My question comes out more restrained than I would have liked, and I strangely hope for a yes.
"Yes, I loved feeling your love for me that way, Evelyn. Now tell me, my Queen, what will you do? Seeing how you are, I believe you’ll create puppets to do your work as queen, so you’ll have a lot of free time."
"However, the current war will demand a lot of your presence. In other words, you’ll have to go to the battlefield, whether you want to or not, my Queen." She speaks as I begin to rebuild the internal damage she caused to my body.
"I’ll see about that later. I have time."
"How cold."
"You made me cold." Her attitudes are the reason I’ve become so desensitized. In the past, if Esther had done what she did to me a few hours ago, I would have felt disgust and fear of being near her. But now I barely feel anything beyond discomfort and a certain sensation of being dirty.
"Yes, yes, I made you this way, my Queen... I think there was a term for this, wasn’t there?"
"What do you mean?"
"I’m referring to the knowledge I have. I’m sure there was a name for my attitude... let me remember..." She murmurs as I correctly place the jewelry on my outfit.
"Ah, I remember. Yandere. I think that’s what people with my attitude were called. For the beings who watch our lives as if it were a game, my love for you makes me a Yandere, or something like that."
’So she even knows that...’ Demons don’t have the term ’Yandere’ because of how relationships and love work among demons.
"Oh yes, really, Esther. I think you are a Yandere." I never really thought much about a concrete definition for Esther’s unhealthy love for me.
"But I actually think you seem more like a Yangire than a Yandere."
"Yangire? What’s that?" Esther asks, confused, showing her limitations. She was still a game character, even though it’s not a game anymore. She only knows things from the game, and in the game, there was no mention of Yangire.
Although there was mention of Marie’s Yandere route, which is a very difficult route to achieve, because Marie is a Tsundere and making her become a Yandere in the game was ridiculously hard.
"...It’s like a Yandere, only worse, because they’re more violent, impulsive, and do disturbing things like what you just did to me less than 30 minutes ago. Plus, they don’t mind hurting their partners when consumed by rage. It’s like a Yandere, only ten times more dangerous to be around."
"Oh, I see. Live and learn, I guess. Although I am curious about everything you know about the truth of the world and how." She doesn’t even seem to care about being called a Yangire, which would kind of be an insult.
"So you like that archetype of girl?" Her question is almost disconcerting.
"No."
"Bold. So what type of girl do you like, Evelyn?"
"I don’t know. I don’t have any preferred type regarding personality."
"And about the body?"
"...You’re my preferred type..." Undeniably, Esther’s physique is the physique that attracts me in a girl.
"Wonderful then, Evelyn. Although I already imagined. You like staring at my breasts sometimes."
’Why am I having this depraved, unhealthy, and uncomfortable conversation right now?’... I take a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror to fix my hair, which is a bit dirty with blood. I’ll need a bath later, but I have something to resolve that has to be done now. I don’t have time to take a bath despite the stench of blood.
"Evelyn, I’m curious now. If I’m this so-called Yangire to you, why don’t you ask me to change?"
"...Because it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re crazy like this, you’ll never abandon me."
"..."
"And you, Evelyn, since we’re imposing archetypes on each other..." She says as if she wasn’t the one who started it by saying she was like a Yandere.
"What are you, Evelyn?"
"A Dorodere." I say without hesitation. I have no reason to lie or hide it, although this term is rarer to see.
"...?...Tsk, another term I don’t know. And what is a Dorodere supposedly?" She, who doesn’t know about manga or games, obviously wouldn’t know. After all, there wasn’t a Dorodere character in the game.
"A Dorodere person is deeply in love with someone, shows affection and care, but this love is obsessive, possessive, and emotionally intense. It can become manipulative, suffocating, or psychologically unstable."
"But they aren’t a direct physical threat like a Yandere. It’s like a Yandere, only less dangerous, and they don’t mind being hurt by the person they love if it keeps them close." It defines me irritatingly well at present.
After all, I let Esther hurt me just because I love her, and I know this has become a problem. But I can’t help it, because even hurting me, I know she’s only mine and will always be with me.
"Hahaha, that really is a perfect description of you now."
"Satisfied?" I ask, finishing getting ready. Everything seems completely fine with me, which is necessary to maintain an image of a queen. After all, it would be problematic to be a queen without even having a consistently good visual image.
"Yes."
"Then why don’t you leave now that you got what you wanted from me?"
"..."
’She wants some power, doesn’t she?’ I can already imagine this coming from her. She’s waiting for me to give her some authority beyond nobility just because we’re married.
"I’m not giving you anything."
"Why?"
"Because you don’t need it. Besides, I don’t want anyone getting involved in my affairs as queen. Not even you."
"I hate it when you try to keep secrets from me."
"..." I approach Esther.
"Esther, what if I get pregnant?" I ask to change the subject before she can convince me to give her power. I don’t want her opinion trying to control what I do with the position of Demon Queen. If I accept her opinion, she’ll guide me to try to carry out her genocide plan.
"What?! Where did you get that from?" She asks, confused, while I’m relieved to have successfully diverted her attention.
"In the last 7 hours, you hurt me a lot, but you also filled my child’s little room with your magic. I can feel your warm, viscous magic filling my baby room. You don’t need me to explain a pregnancy, right?" When I say this, her eyes look at my belly.
It turns out that pregnancy through magic doesn’t require perfect stability and perfect control. It requires the body to accept the magic and start generating a life from it, provided the girl is fertile. Normally, it would require careful control of the magic to attempt a pregnancy and proper attunement of the magic.
However, it happens that an injured body makes the process with Hikishin automatically and more efficiently than if they were trying on purpose. Esther, who tore out my heart and was biting and hurting me in various places, only to later give me her magic, unwittingly fulfilled the conditions. Of course, the chance of a child being born on this occasion is less than 20%. After all, I wasn’t mentally accepting her magic, and she wasn’t actively trying to impregnate me, but it wasn’t safe sex.
"...That won’t happen. The chances are ridiculously low," she says irritably.
"20% isn’t low. But you’re the one who knows. Next time, don’t fill my uterus with magic while you’re hurting my body," I say sarcastically to her. I don’t want to have a child either, not with Esther being so unstable.
Besides, Esther clearly doesn’t want a baby. I’m afraid Esther would try to kill a child born between us. I’m no longer so positive about Esther’s "goodness" or "morality." A baby wouldn’t stop her, even if it were our baby.
"Tsk, dirty trick, Evelyn."
"If you don’t want the responsibility of a child, be more careful beforehand. Now leave me alone. I need some time to think. My whole body is aching."
"Alright, but don’t overthink it, Evelyn. I’ll give you some space, considering everything was a bit more intense than our normal."
’She calls that "a bit"? Is she serious?’ I sigh, opening the bedroom door.
"Have a good work day, Evelyn. See you later." Esther says in a venomously sweet tone as I close my bedroom door after telling her I want her out of my room when I return tonight.
"..." I run my hand over my belly. The idea of having a child seems... disgusting, honestly. I don’t hate the possibility, but the environment into which such a child could be born...
"How stupid of me... it’s not like it would happen anyway..." I doubt a pregnancy could happen in my body without me noticing. I, who notice every movement of every little part of my body, would know if a baby had started to form.
"Now I should go see my brothers. They probably want to know how everything will be from now on..." They must be in the throne room waiting. I need to send them to the battlefield. The war hasn’t stopped just because I’m queen now.