Ch. 106.1 - So Long to You Then Pt1
“Hey! What’s with the shoving, kid?!”
Inside the train car, a middle-aged man snapped irritably, shooting him an indignant glare.
“S-Sorry!”
“Hey, what’s your problem?! Are you sick or something?”
A young woman whose shoulder bag had been bumped checked her belongings for theft while hurling abuse in a sharp, piercing voice.
“I’m really sorry!”
Under the clear blue sky, tourists swarmed everywhere. In the wide-open plaza, the crowd swallowed up all the scenery.
“Huff… huff…”
Faster… just a little faster…
Every so often, people around him glanced his way, only to quickly look away again. After all, people sprinting desperately through stations for all sorts of reasons or mishaps were a daily sight.
Weaving past tourists stopping to take photos with Tokyo Station, narrowly brushing shoulders with passersby, Sato had never run this hard in his life.
His lungs on either side felt like they were about to burst, contracting and expanding violently, squeezing out the last traces of oxygen and carbon dioxide. His heart roared in his ears like a twelve-cylinder engine, driving him to a speed he’d never reached before.
Nothing else in his vision mattered anymore. After pouring everything into the sprint, dizziness clouded his head and stars danced before his eyes. In that hazy moment, the messages his childhood friend Chouko had sent him on Line surfaced in his mind—
[Chouko: Sorry, Onii… I have to go back to Kyoto today. [Dejected kitty]] — Read
[Chouko: If you can make it to BURDIGALA TOKYO at Tokyo Station before 10:30, maybe we can meet one last time.] — Read
[Chouko: Don’t be late again this time! [Kitty punching]] — Read
[Sato: Wait… what do you mean you have to go back to Kyoto? What does “one last time” mean?!] — Unread
After that, he sent seven more messages in a row, but even after waiting three or four minutes, the status beside the chat bubbles stubbornly remained “Unread”.
Chouko had been fine for over a year. So why did this have to happen now… right after that last outing…?
That night, only after confirming Chouko had safely entered her apartment did Sato return home in a daze. He washed up mechanically, changed clothes, then threw himself heavily onto the bed.
Lying flat on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused and empty. Under the stimulation of the bright lights and dry air, tears eventually welled up and spilled over.
They rolled from the corners of his eyes, soaking his temples and flooding his ears, leaving the first tear track.
They slid down along the bridge of his nose, dampened his lips, seeped into his mouth, carving a second tear track and filling his mouth with unbearable sourness.
Tears were supposed to be salty, he thought. It must’ve been because there’d been too much seasoning on the barbecue.
That night, he had a nightmare.
He dreamed Chouko fell victim to a scumbag. Dreamed of her gradually falling under that scumbag’s influence. Dreamed of her playing around with that guy while calling him on the phone. Dreamed of the scumbag hugging Chouko and touching her right in front of him—
He wanted to reach out and stop it. He wanted to save Chouko from that man’s hands. But no matter how he struggled, his body refused to respond.
Just like the sleep paralysis from urban legends.
At last, amid a painfully familiar cry of “Onii”, Sato jolted awake. Cold sweat drenched him. He clenched his teeth and tried to endure it, but still failed.
He pressed his forearm hard over his eyes. Even when the pressure made the bridge of his nose ache, the tears kept pouring out like a mountain spring.
“Ugh…”
He was already a high schooler. An older guy. The Onii Chouko admired—
Yet he hadn’t done anything.
He couldn’t do anything at all…
In the dim room, his whitening knuckles were faintly visible as he sobbed uncontrollably, clutching the blanket with all his strength. Whether he was imagining it as that hateful scumbag, or as his own useless, cowardly self, he didn’t know. His fingers dug in deep, tearing at it—until, at some point, completely exhausted, he fell into a heavy sleep.
Over the following week or so, every night before bed he hugged his red-covered book, desperately memorizing chemical equations and grinding through calculus problems. But the nightmares clung to him relentlessly, waking him again and again in the dead of night, leaving him trapped in long, agonizing bouts of self-blame and regret.
…
10:01
“Huff…”
Almost there.
Just a little more.
Sato pulled out his phone to check the navigation again. After confirming he was headed the right way, he sped up.
This time, he absolutely wouldn’t back down. If that scumbag Hoshikawa was the reason Chouko had been forced to leave Tokyo, he would run up and punch him without hesitation.
To be honest, ever since that night they parted and he sent a good-night message after getting home, he hadn’t contacted Chouko again.
He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from questioning her. Afraid of hearing something even more painful from her mouth.
A week was more than enough time for too many things to happen…
Even so, even if Chouko had been tainted by that bastard Hoshikawa, he wouldn’t mind—
No matter what she became, he would accept her.
After all, that wouldn’t be Chouko’s fault.
Pushing through the bustling crowd inside Tokyo Station, Sato could already see from afar the large bakery with the glowing sign reading 【BURDIGALA TOKYO】. Yet the closer he got to their meeting spot, the heavier his steps became.
Screech.
Screech.
The intricately patterned rubber soles of his Nike sneakers pressed hard against the polished marble tiles, letting out sharp, grating sounds.
In the peak flow of the human tide, the bakery under cool-toned lighting felt like a sanctuary. Its interior was eerily empty, with only five customers seated inside. And among them, the most eye-catching presence—a beautiful girl with a short black bob—instantly seized his attention.
In his field of vision, only she remained.
Shihou Chouko.
“Chouko!”
He waved excitedly and shouted, drawing curious and annoyed looks from passersby alike.
At that moment, Sato seemed to have completely shed his gloomy-background-character identity. Ignoring the atmosphere and everyone else’s gazes, he hurried forward.
“Huff… Chouko, you—”
He took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, only then noticing Chouko frantically signaling him with her eyes, telling him to look to the side.
“A-Auntie…”
The instant his gaze met that of the young woman beside her, a piercing buzz like an air-raid siren exploded in his ears. Then, all the surrounding sounds rushed back in at once, as though he’d crossed into an entirely different world.
Noisy chatter.
Chaotic ambient sounds.
Everything together was like hundreds of tons of TNT detonating in his head, leaving him unable to react.
What was going on?
This was nothing like what he’d imagined.
Wasn’t Chouko supposed to be fleeing Tokyo to escape harassment from that scumbag Hoshikawa?
Could it be—
“Onii!”
Chouko’s call snapped him out of his panic. He finally remembered what he needed to do, hurriedly turning and bowing deeply toward the young woman beside her.
“M-Morning, Auntie Shouko…”
Scratching his head awkwardly, he apologized repeatedly.
“I-I’m sorry… I was just… really surprised, and didn’t greet you right away…”
“Ah…”
After letting out a soft sigh, Shouko looked at the bowing, apologetic Sato, momentarily at a loss for words.
“It’s fine. Sato-kun, please raise your head,” she said, giving him a cursory look from head to toe before continuing. “It’s been quite a long time. The last time I saw you was when Chouko was still in elementary school in Kyoto, wasn’t it? You really… haven’t changed much at all.”
If anything, she thought, aside from having grown physically, this boy seemed exactly the same on the inside—
The same recklessness, the same dull-wittedness, and the same cowardly insecurity.
She had already restrained her presence as much as possible, making no aggressive moves. Yet Sato still couldn’t lift his head, still didn’t dare meet her eyes.
Just like the boy who had trailed after Chouko step by step ten years ago.
Sigh…
Shouko sighed inwardly once more, then glanced at her daughter standing motionless beside her, feeling a twinge of confusion—
Based on her memories of their past meetings, at a time like this… shouldn’t Chouko have already rushed over, tugging on her Onii’s arm and chatting away?
Even if Chouko was in low spirits today because she’d been ordered to return to Kyoto, given their relationship as childhood friends and each other’s only playmate, it shouldn’t feel this distant.
“Chouko, you’re the one who called him here, aren’t you? Leaving Sato-kun hanging like this—don’t you think that’s rude?”
She gently nudged her daughter’s shoulder, hoping that, within what the family would allow, she could at least lift Chouko’s mood a little.
“Ah… oh…”
Hearing her mother’s words, Chouko froze briefly, snapping out of her daze.
She looked at Sato, still sweating heavily and not yet fully catching his breath. After hesitating, she finally spoke.
“Onii… I-I’m going back to Kyoto. From now on, you have to work hard, get into Todai, just like you said before. Become someone successful, someone who achieves something.”
“Yeah! Chouko, I’ll study like crazy and work hard! Don’t worry!”
Watching Onii’s spirits soar after the encouragement, Chouko couldn’t help letting out a bitter smile in her heart—
Was studying hard really the point?
“Um… th-then… Chouko, why are you suddenly going back to Kyoto? Weren’t you… weren’t you doing pretty well in Tokyo?”
Sensing Chouko’s low mood, Sato quickly followed up with a question.
His thoughts flashed back to the last night of Golden Week, and anxiety spilled out before he could stop himself.
“Is it because Hoshi—”
“It’s because my family won’t allow me to keep living outside!”
Onii, you idiot. Why bring up Harutaki now?
What if Mom finds out and goes to make things difficult for him…
Chouko panicked, terrified her mother would hear and start asking about Harutaki. After all, to anyone who didn’t truly know him, he was a notorious scumbag.
“They won’t allow it…? But when you came to Tokyo, didn’t you say—”
“Sorry… I lied to you, Onii…”
That he could clearly remember the things between them did make Chouko a little happy. But what followed was an even deeper disappointment.
He remembered everything—except her. Except Chouko, his childhood friend. So… this wasn’t her fault. It was time for her to let go of that heavy past.
“Sato-kun, didn’t Chouko ever tell you? She only got permission to leave the family and Kyoto to study in Tokyo after making a huge scene at home—by threatening hunger strikes and suicide.”
Shouko shot her daughter a cold glance. The more Chouko listened, the more embarrassed she became, her head lowering further and further, almost burying itself in that deep valley.
“I… I didn’t know any of that…”
How could this be…
Sato bit his lip until it turned pale. His fists clenched tightly, nails digging deep into the soft flesh of his palms.
But…
This pain couldn’t even begin to compare to the stabbing agony radiating from his heart. And—
The most painful thing of all was his mind.
Hunger strikes.
Suicide.
Making a huge scene.
Just how much had Chouko sacrificed to come to Tokyo for his sake?!
He couldn’t even imagine it.
Chouko, who had always been afraid of family elders—how much courage had she mustered to argue with them?
That girl who would cry for ages just from tripping and scraping her knee—how had she endured and persisted through the suffering of hunger strikes and thoughts of suicide?
“Onii… work hard, study hard, get into Todai… I believe you can do it… but I have to go back to Kyoto first.”
Chouko murmured softly, lifting her head to look at him.
She no longer held any expectations for Onii. She just wanted to take this chance to say goodbye—to him, to her past self—and hoped that he, too, could step out of his old shadow.
“Chouko, I…”
Looking into the girl’s twilight-gold eyes, he wished with all his heart that she would suddenly break into a mischievous grin, just like before, and tell him, “Geez, Onii, you fell for it again~”
Even though, as the older brother, he honestly hated being led around and teased by her.
Sato let out a quiet, bitter laugh inside his heart. In the end, it really was only him who had done nothing, who could do nothing.
But if he could just wait a little longer… just a little longer… he would definitely bring out results good enough, achievements worthy enough…
Out of the corner of his eye, he discreetly glanced at Auntie Shouko beside them. After repeatedly reminding himself and carefully choosing his words, he finally gathered his courage, his expression firm as he met Chouko’s gaze.
“Chouko—”
Don’t…
The instant she noticed the change in Sato’s expression, an overwhelming sense of dread surged up in Chouko’s heart.
Please don’t…
“—I’m sorry—”
Onii, don’t… don’t say that word…
“—could you please—”
I’m such an idiot… I really am…
“—wait for me a little longer—”
“Onii, I… don’t have any time left.”
Nine years. It had been nine years since they first met.
How utterly foolish, she thought. Maybe she should have stopped placing such high hopes and expectations on Onii a long time ago. And yet, at a moment like this, he still had to stab her one more time.
“Chouko! I’m serious! Please try to understand me…”
Understand you…?
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