Life In The Reverse World

"If you’re scared, just close your eyes."

Even though he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the creepy atmosphere himself, for the sake of Ayaka sitting beside him, Harutaki had to maintain a calm, composed demeanor. Otherwise, he’d go from being scared to being the one who frightened people.

"Then what was the point of coming here?!"

But only after noticing that Ayaka had indeed shut her eyes tightly did Harutaki reach out and push open the wooden door ahead.

"Is… is there anything scary…?"

"It’s nothing more than bloodstains, hair, and some messy props. Not worth looking at."

He swallowed hard, averting his gaze from the bed in the center of the room, and focused entirely on the next doorway—the next stage. That sudden rise of the ghost, caught in the eerie glow of the lights, revealed a face stripped of its skin, grotesque and horrifying.

The final room resembled a Japanese-style tea room. Aside from the tatami being a little messy, the rest of the room was remarkably tidy compared to the previous ones.

Still…

"Clean as it is, it feels… gross underfoot…"

The floor beneath the tatami felt like it was filled with some sticky, squishy gel. The strange sensation made Ayaka shiver involuntarily.

"Well… there’s a corpse buried underneath, after all."

"Don’t… don’t say that!"

"By design—"

Just as he was about to tease Ayaka further, a section of the tatami suddenly lifted, revealing a black hole. A pair of deathly pale hands, painted with crimson nail polish, clawed at the floor.

"I hate… this…"

"Scumbag…"

"My face…"

"Ah!!!"

Ayaka screamed and leapt straight into his arms, clinging tightly like a clumsy, adorable koala, refusing to let go.

Oh no…

The soft, springy weight pressing against him instantly squeezed out all of his fear.

"Quick, let’s get out of here!"

Urged by the girl’s desperate insistence, he abandoned the pre-planned flow of the haunted house and ran with her in his arms toward the exit.

They dodged the arms reaching through the window slits, narrowly avoiding the ghost like a quarterback weaving through defenders. When he glanced back, he even caught sight of the actor, frozen in surprise.

"Alright, come down now. Don’t want to make a scene~"

"You… you aren't lying to me, right?"

Though part of him wanted to linger a bit longer, he patted Ayaka’s head to reassure her.

"It’s warmer outside than inside. You’ll be able to tell that yourself."

"…Phew."

After carefully peeking through her barely opened eyes, Ayaka cautiously climbed out of his embrace. Her legs were still weak, so she held onto his arm to steady herself.

"Th… thank you."

"It’s me who should be thanking you, Ayaka. After all—" He retrieved a pair of shoes from the cabinet and teased her with a grin. "—when I carried you past the viewing area just now, everyone was so jealous of me."

"You… you idiot Harutaki, what are you saying?! Jealous… of what?!"

Seeing her flush with both embarrassment and irritation, he finally exhaled in relief. He recalled the looks the other boys had given him—if they were flames, they could have burned him a hundred times over.

"Roller coasters are like this, haunted houses too. I was supposed to help you, but instead I kept messing up…"

Walking in the warm spring sunlight, Ayaka couldn’t help but lower her head, feeling a twinge of disappointment.

It was embarrassing, she had been so scared that she had crawled into Harutaki’s arms and had even been carried all the way out. She recalled her earlier self, and it felt completely unlike her usual confident demeanor.

When planning the date, she had wanted Harutaki to rely on her, but in the end, she had completely depended on him.

Whether it was the roller coaster or the haunted house, her first-time attempts had caused more trouble than help.

She felt uncertain, should the rest of the date continue? Could he really accept such a clumsy, awkward outing?

"Well—"

"Next time, I’ll bring Shihou-san… no, even Nogami-san. Then I’ll experience the ultimate pleasure of being sandwiched by beautiful girls’ chests."

"Pervert… you disgusting idiot, Harutaki!"

She tilted her head slightly, squinting at the clear blue sky.

As expected, she thought—he was like the sun: brilliant, warm, and comforting.

…

As the final amusement park attraction, they boarded a red Ferris wheel cabin shaped like an apple. Slowly, the cabin rose into the sky.

Looking down through the glass, the traffic turned toy-like, and people below moved like scattered ants. Looking up at the cityscape, towering buildings evoked a strange sense of grandeur, as if overlooking everything.

"At night, the view from the Ferris wheel is probably the best."

Harutaki and Ayaka each sat by a window, enjoying the cityscape in quiet.

"Yeah…"

"Being up here makes you feel taller, like your perspective expands. Looking out at the skyline, your chest feels lighter."

"Yeah…"

"I usually never get to see Tokyo from this angle."

"Yeah…"

He found the silence difficult. Sneaking a glance at her delicate profile, lost in thought as she stared into the distance, he let out a soft sigh.

"Ayaka, have you gained weight again?"

"Eh… huh!?"

Bam.

She punched him squarely in the shoulder. Her aquamarine eyes glared at him, silently asking, “What nonsense are you spouting now?”

"Oof… getting hit by a girl on a date is… a rare experience."

"You brought this on yourself, Harutaki! Ugh, really… can’t you just enjoy the view quietly?"

Enjoying the view was fine, but—

He reached out and gently ruffled her hair.

"You weren’t exactly enjoying the scenery just now."

"Idiot Harutaki…" She drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she met his gaze. "…When the Ferris wheel reaches the top, couples usually kiss, right?"

Ah, throwing a question like that at him—it was cunning.

"Where do you stand with Shihou-senpai now?"

Before he could answer, she seemed to anticipate it and continued.

"We can hug. A kiss is probably soon."

Recalling how clingy she had been during their farewell, he made a straightforward judgment.

After all, they were family, and Ayaka knew he liked Shihou, so there was no need to hide anything.

"You… you idiot, Harutaki. You don’t even know how to kiss? Never had a first kiss with a girl?"

"Come on, even French girls would be drained just by looking at me."

"What kind of vampire are you?!"

Ayaka scolded him mercilessly. After a brief silence, she spoke again, her tone tinged with nervousness.

"Do… we need to practice?"

"Uh… practice kissing?"

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Mm… yes…"

Her eyes were tightly shut, long lashes trembling from the effort. Her clenched fists turned white, and her body quivered ever so slightly—as if surrendering.

Why did it feel like he had turned into a villain?

Unable to read her exact thoughts, he leaned closer, testing the waters.

In truth, he, like Ayaka, felt a little reluctant about the kiss.

Unlike his situation with Fuyuno, these past days with Ayaka—her repeated “baka aniki” remarks and her caring, soft-hearted teasing—had nearly swallowed up any lingering desire he had.

"You… baka aniki…"

Feeling Ayaka instinctively resisting, he gently pushed her hands off his shoulders and pulled her closer.

"The classic Ferris wheel kiss is too cliché. We should find a better, more romantic place."

He pressed his right cheek against her left, speaking as he did.

"For now, let’s just practice the cinematic misalignment method."

Smooch.

"…Idiot Harutaki… you’re making me seem totally inappropriate!"

Ayaka turned to the window, glancing sideways at Harutaki’s stunned expression, and couldn’t help but bite her lower lip, a small smile tugging at her mouth.

Idiot—idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot!

He was a complete fool! A total dumbass!

"Always worrying about others’ thoughts and feelings, you can’t read minds, can you? Where do you even put yourself in all this? Idiot… sometimes, it’s fine to be a little selfish…"

…

Is it okay to be a little selfish?

Leaving Horakuen behind, boarding the train, exiting the station, and being swept along with the bustling crowd into the park.

Until they reached the next date spot, Harutaki was still thinking about what had happened on the Ferris wheel, about how his younger sister Ayaka had confronted him.

He wasn’t a master of psychology, nor some legendary mind reader. If anything, when he was with Shirasagi-senpai, he felt more like a suspect being interrogated by the FBI.

“Wear a mask for too long, and you start to feel short of breath, like you’re no longer yourself…”

Those were the words he’d used that night to console Shihou.

And really, wasn’t that an unintentional critique of himself as well?

To keep anyone he cared about from showing that look of disappointed expectations, he’d grown used to shouldering responsibility, used to pushing himself,

With great power comes great responsibility.

He hated that saying, almost a kind of moral coercion. But in the eyes of his parents, his teachers and classmates, his friends and relatives, as someone gifted, someone capable and outstanding, he was naturally expected to become the object of hope and admiration.

In other words, for Hoshikawa Harutaki, that phrase really meant:

The greater the ability, the heavier the expectations and admiration, until responsibility becomes unavoidable.

When he was learning English from cassette tapes, clacking away at an abacus, didn’t he want to watch Ultraman and Doraemon on TV?

When he was practicing piano in the music room or studying traditional painting in the art studio, didn’t he want to pursue what he truly loved, basketball and computers?

“This is all for your own good.”

And it really was for his own good. He understood that. Walking down the street, when his parents pointed out elderly people sweeping roads despite crippled legs, workers with soot-blackened faces under hard hats, homeless men shaking their bowls and begging, and warned him like that, of course he understood just how much he had been given since childhood.

Teachers at school often said that if you didn’t study hard, you’d lose at the starting line. But as a child, seeing those people on the streets, he’d already learned a crueler truth:

Most people had already lost at the starting line the moment they were born.

Some people’s starting points were so far away they were unreachable even compared to others’ finish lines.

He didn’t know how others thought. He only knew that he had to respond to the expectations and admiration of those who had given him everything.

And precisely because he understood how heavy those expectations were, he knew how painful it was to disappoint someone. Harutaki never wanted to become that kind of person, the kind who selfishly imposed their own ideals onto someone else.

At first, with Nogami, it was simple enough: bully and avenger, enemies at odds. He could take advantage of her without restraint, hurt her without thinking too much about the consequences.

But when the girl revealed the softness she’d hidden so deeply, he realized their relationship could no longer be described by the word enemy alone.

Still, at that time, compared to the headstrong and domineering Nogami, he undeniably preferred the gentle, quiet, and graceful Shihou.

He couldn’t return Nogami’s feelings, and he didn’t want to selfishly force his own ideals onto her either.

Which meant there was no possibility of moving forward between them… or at least, that was what he thought back then.

Later, as he spent more time with Shihou, getting to know her better, he suddenly realized that the girl’s true heart was nothing like the “Shihou Chouko” he’d admired from afar. Yet through their two “dates,” he also began to notice that what interested him wasn’t just that idealized version, but also the lively, playful Shihou suppressed deep inside.

Having met and seen many kinds of people, Harutaki knew full well that not everyone could shoulder heavy expectations and admiration the way he did.

Shihou’s anonymous alt account and her private-message selfies were all signs that she was nearing her breaking point.

People who could endure high pressure might achieve something great, but far more common in this world were those who couldn’t bear it, whose personalities and hearts twisted under the strain.

Whether it was sympathy or pity,

In any case, he felt that even if you called it lust at first sight, it wasn’t such a big deal.

Just like how, even after putting distance between himself and Nogami, he hadn’t drawn a clear, absolute line.

No one is a saint.

At heart, Harutaki was an extremely selfish guy, a scumbag who, driven by possessiveness, couldn’t give up one girl even after falling for another.

Just like what he’d thought in his heart when Sanada Minako, Sanada had ruthlessly torn away the fig leaf he’d been clinging to…

He couldn’t accept Nogami, who had shown him her vulnerable side, turning around and being gentle with some other guy.

Nogami, or Shihou, holding hands with another boy like she had with him, kissing, touching skin, even sleeping in the same bed,

That kind of future was something he absolutely, completely, utterly could not accept.

That said, Nogami and Shihou were one matter entirely.

Ayaka, Chiaki, and Fuyuno, those three sisters, were another.

Even if he was called “baka aniki” ten thousand times, he wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t an idiot. He could clearly feel Ayaka’s feelings toward him.

Yet those feelings weren’t just affection for a “baka aniki”, they also carried romantic interest toward the opposite sex… though he hardly had the right to judge her for that.

Tap, tap.

“Hey! Snap out of it!”

The sound of Ayaka patting the box beside him broke his train of thought.

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