Chapter 243: The New Normal
Lin Feng stared out the window of the train, though it wasn’t the scene of Shanghai that played before his eyes. It was Season 1 again. His team had made it to the Finals of Worlds. They were sitting behind their computers in a small room. He looked over to his left. Silent sat next to him and Autumn two seats over. They were focused but he could tell they were happy. Then he looked over at the two players sitting to his right. Eleven and Tian Tian, both nervous and both excited. Lin Feng turned back to look at his own screen as An Xin yelled at him from behind to not get distracted. We were so happy! He smiled, grabbing his mouse with one hand and placing the fingers of his other hand on the keyboard. It’s time to play! And win! This world title is ours!
The smile disappeared from Lin Feng’s face. We lost. We… we lost. He remembered how he walked away after that loss. Everything that happened to his team after that point was a blank. But now Tian Tian had filled in that blank. Lin Feng found himself watching the events unfold before his eyes. The team looked lost without him. They kept staring at the seat in the middle, his seat. It was empty. Their expressions turned sour. Tian Tian reverted back to his normal self, wrecked by his nerves. I wasn’t there to help him. I was the only one who knew how to help him. But I left him behind. I left him. And now… and now… Lin Feng quickly wiped away the tears from his face, and then blew his nose into his sleeve. Fatty would have achieved so much more if it wasn’t for me… He could’ve been an Emperor. He’d have multiple world titles under his belt! But I left him… Lin Feng watched as Tian Tian got up from his seat and walked towards a group of strangers. They welcomed him, but his shoulders were slumped. I abandoned him…
Lin Feng turned his attention back to the rest of the team. To Eleven. You were one of the best Junglers in the world. Screw that! You were the best Jungler in the world! Read XIII had nothing on you! You were supposed to stay! You were supposed to keep playing and helping the team with your great skills! No one could jungle like you! Lin Feng banged his head against the window in a slow, steady rhythm, quietly cursing himself. He closed his eyes, but the scene kept playing in his mind. Eleven got up from his gaming chair. He walked towards a team that was ecstatic to have him. A second-rate team in the LSPL. Of course they’re thrilled to have you! You’re the best in the world! They don’t deserve you… You’re so much better than this! And if I hadn’t left… If only I’d stuck around a little bit longer… Maybe you wouldn’t have left.
There were only two people left in Lin Feng’s vision. They were Autumn and Silent. Lin Feng turned around and desperately searched for An Xin, but she wasn’t there. She’d already left. I kept them all together. And when I left, it all fell apart. There was no team for her left to coach, so she left. Why would she stay? She was my friend. She was helping me! And I left her, just like I left the others. I left her too… Lin Feng knocked his head a little harder against the window of the train, cursing himself for leaving his friends behind. I should’ve been there for them!
Autumn and Silent stood up together. There were teams literally begging for the duo to join. But they ignored them. Lin Feng was gone. Their team was gone. The dream was gone. And so they walked away from the scene. Two of the best players, icons in their respective roles, disappeared. Lin Feng watched with bloodshot eyes as they strolled away, becoming shadows of a time past. You two were so good together. Your playstyles complemented each other and everyone knew they were watching something special when the two of you played… You should’ve never left! The game needs you! I… I want to see you two play together again…
Autumn was the most unique Support player in the world. He had an aggressive playstyle, but combined that perfectly with a high level of unpredictability. It made it impossible for teams to prepare for him. But it was when he played together with his ad-carry Silent that he stepped up to another level. Silent was the pony to Autumn’s jockey. He played steady and firm, focusing on his creep score but engaging when Autumn presented the opening. They were perfect together and no one could stop them.
Lin Feng slumped back in his seat. We were so close to winning Worlds… Our big goal, the dream that brought us all together, the one thing we were going to achieve together! And then I screwed up. I lost that Finals. Game 5, my loss. We would’ve won if it wasn’t for me. He chewed on the inside of his cheeks and fidgeted with his fingers. Tian Tian had told him his old teammates had all found their footing in life. They were moving forward. And he was supposed to be happy for them. But he couldn’t get himself to feel happy. They were the best players in the world. And now, almost no one remembers their names… They should’ve won the world title! If only I didn’t hold them down! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Lin Feng shook his head furiously and punched the side of the train. “AH!” He grimaced, rubbing his fist. Stop this. He forced himself to take a deep, calming breath. Why did they quit League? Did they just give up? We all had the same dream. We were going to win Worlds… together. That was the dream. They spoke about it at length at every opportunity they got. We’re going to win Worlds! We are going to win Worlds! A knot twisted in Lin Feng’s stomach. He reached for it and hunched over. D-do they regret joining my team? Do they hate me for ruining our dream? I… He chewed on his lip, but couldn’t get himself to even finish the thought. His mind went blank, until a couple minutes later a final thought hit him. Do they still want to win?
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