Rise

The first week of Worlds had been a big disappointment for KG and Tian Tian. And the second week was the complete opposite. Tian Tian had single-handedly carried his team to the knockout stage of the tournament. He’d gotten a 5-man ultimate with Hecarim, and he’d shown to the world just how good of a Riven player he was. His fans had appeared from everywhere, flooding the online landscape with messages about his skills. They told everyone who wanted to listen that KG RoundyRound deserved to be crowned King, since he was the best Toplaner in the entire world!

Tian Tian was proud of his performance in the second half of the group stage. He only felt more confident when he read the messages on social media. It’d felt like the entire world, every last human being walking this planet, had lifted him up onto their shoulders. Like they were all chanting his name. And most importantly, Lin Feng was at the head of them. Lin Feng was back in his life! And Lin Feng believed in him.

KG made it all the way to the semifinals at Worlds. That was where they ran into SSK. Tian Tian knew this was going to be a far bigger challenge than any of the previous matches. But the fans were chanting his name, and he had Lin Feng by his side again. That sparked confidence. He’d spent an entire week mumbling to himself about how Lin Feng believed in him and how he couldn’t let his fans down. He hyped himself up and really started believing that his team stood a chance against SSK. But nothing could’ve prepared them for that series. SSK was far better than he’d ever imagined. KG got crushed and lost the series 0-3.

No one blamed Tian Tian for the loss against SSK. His fans were still posting on social media, talking about how good his performance at Worlds had been. Even Lin Feng called him multiple times, expressing just how proud he was. But Tian Tian didn’t feel proud. He felt guilty and responsible for the loss. I-if only I was better, like Lin Feng… I-I could’ve carried harder and won! Maybe then I wouldn’t have let them all down…

After returning to China, Tian Tian had barely gotten more than a couple hours of sleep each night. He kept tossing and turning in his bed, thinking back to the semifinals against SSK. Every mistake, no matter how big or small, played on repeat in his mind. After which an alternate scenario popped up. One in which he didn’t make that mistake. One where he ultimately won the series, and where his fans and Lin Feng were proud of him. Truly proud.

And when sleep did get him, it was always the same nightmare. Lin Feng stood in front of him, looking him up and down, and said, “Was that all you have in you? You couldn’t even beat SSK? I’m disappointed in you, Fatty. Maybe I should just leave again, just like last time. You weren’t worthy then either.” Then he’d wake up in a bed wet with sweat and tears, his stomach heaving and bile rushing up his throat. Lin Feng leaving him all those years ago was one of the worst days in his life, something he’d blamed himself for. And now that Lin Feng was back, he was terrified that it’d happen again.

Tian Tian lifted his face off the table at the hotpot restaurant and wiped away the snot and tears from his face. Then he looked up at Lin Feng through water-blurred eyes and sobbed, “L-Lin Feng, so-sor-sorry. I-I—”

Lin Feng knitted his brows and sternly said, “Stop crying.”

Tian Tian’s lips quivered. He covered his face with both his hands and tried to suck the tears back up into the tear glands. I-I’ll try to stop crying. Just don’t leave me again… His elbows fell on the table and he rested his face in his hands, shaking his head. I-I want to stop crying! I’m trying! P-please don’t go!