Collide Gamer

The door to John’s apartment flew open.

“Get your dick out of your women, we are going out!” Maximillian declared.

John was sitting on the Couch, furiously mashing the buttons on his controller in an effort to dodge the Orphan of Kos. Usually, he was pretty good at that fight, but sometimes the boss just decided to go haywire and spam him with all the hardest moves for a minute straight. That was why he liked fighting the pale thing so much, though Lady Maria was still an overall more enjoyable fight.

“Huh, I did not think I’d burst in here and find you alone, playing some random game,” the gravity king said.

“Calling Bloodborne a random game is straight up heresy,” the Gamer responded. The character rammed a healing vial into his leg, then dashed to the side. The whirling pizza cutter of death came down on the pale monstrosity, staggering it. “YES!” John shouted, hammering the attack button furiously. The second, free hit he got in ended the fight in his favour.

“Alright, not sure I have seen you this happy since you talked about getting engaged.”

“It’s an awesome fight,” John retorted. “Plus, I love the eldritch aesthetic… in concept. In person I have had my fill of it.”

“I can imagine. Not that I think you’ll be spared it in the future.” Maximillian shrugged and shook his head. “You do not have my envy for the ludicrous enemies you face on your path. Then again, you’d have to deal less if you kept your feet still for a bit, buddy.”

John closed the game, then shut down the PS4. Well, it wasn’t actually a PS4, it was a multi-console that Hailey had put together and Scarlett had installed the various systems on. It was the kind of emulator that would have gotten him sued out of existence if anyone that he was infringing on ever knew he had it. Not even the Abyssal barrier would protect him from the wrath of Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft and several other huge companies combined.

“I got an official warning from Krieg earlier,” he reported to his friend.

“And you deserve it,” Maximillian remarked.

The Gamer blew air out of his nose. “Thanks, buddy,” he spoke in feigned offense. He understood perfectly well why other people would have that view.

Maximillian took the opportunity to elaborate on his thoughts all the same, “It was bad enough when you had created one of the largest empires by landmass in just two years. Now that the Awakened are also giving you access to one of the largest manpower pools in the world, us Old Worlders have no choice but to band together in opposition to you before you grow out of control.” He took a poignant pause. “Though I know it’s too late for that, for reasons I am sure they’re guessing.”

John put the controller down on its socket by the multi-console, then turned to his best friend. “Well, how does it feel to stand next to the future Apex?”

Arms crossed, the gravity king gave him a once-over. “You might become the most influential ruler within the new leading faction of the Abyss, but that doesn’t make you the next Apex.”

“A fair point,” John surrendered. “I hope you are at least appeased because you know me.”

“Appeased, yes,” Maximillian agreed, “but I am not going to support you. From a geopolitical perspective, I don’t want you to expand further either. As a friend, I will not oppose you – especially since I am relying on you for security in the near future.”

“Neutrality is worth a whole lot to a power in the winning position,” John said.

“Quite,” the gravity king agreed. “Anyhow, let’s pick up Ted and Magnus before we get stuck talking here.”

John nodded, tapping a button to switch the casual clothes with his suit. Though he was likely to make himself a drunken fool tonight, he was at least going to look sharp while doing so. “Any spoilers on what you got planned?”

“It will surprise you,” Maximillian promised, “and will not involve any strip clubs, as per your request.”

John quite loved the shows of strip clubs, but visiting places like the Little Whirl just wasn’t the same now that he was on a ‘look, don’t touch’ basis. When he went to that kind of establishment, it would only be because he rented a room to watch one of his ladies perform in private.

“I got an incomprehensibly better show earlier today anyhow,” the Gamer boasted.

“The wet t-shirt contest?” Maximilian asked.

“Yeah… let me guess… Jane told Irielz who told you?”

“Not quite. Undine told Laralia who told me.”

John just hummed at his mistake. Perhaps it was just a men vs women thing, but their harems seemed to talk more to each other than the two guys did. Despite that, John would have considered himself and Maximillian considerably closer than any two ladies between the two harems.

“Well, glad we keep in touch,” he joked.

“Indeed,” the gravity king agreed.

Ted and Magnus were waiting not far away. That was to say, they were waiting inside the throne room, and since there was no fixed distance between two points in the Palace, they were as close as the magic of the Building allowed.

Magnus was well dressed, as always. Having removed any official signifiers of his noble rank, he was just a brown-haired man in a suit, though he stood out from the crowd with the length of his hair. Had it just been John and Maximillian, he would also have been the oldest one of the group by a considerable margin.

With Ted around, Magnus looked a bit younger, though Fusion’s frontline general was still his junior. A military man, Ted had chosen a nicely fitting t-shirt and jeans for the evening. A get-up that was, by the quality of the clothing, not outside their dress code. Like the rest of them, he had brown hair, which he wore in a short cut appropriate for a soldier. That one of his arms was artificial was entirely hidden by the enchantments on it.

“It occurs to me that we’re a pretty boring group, visually speaking,” John said. Each of them had brown hair and brown eyes. They differed in their details beyond that. The Gamer was a pretty plain looking kind of handsome, Maximillian was the kind of good looking man that was used to pose for pictures of Jesus, Magnus had a bit of a long face and Ted had a pronouncedly square jawline. They also were of different builds, John and Maximillian being fairly average while Magnus was a bit lanky and Ted a bit stocky, though those differences weren’t as pronounced.

Still, all in all, it was impressive that he had managed, in all of the Abyss, to land an inner friend group that was this aggressively average in their appearances.

“I thought about inviting the Horned Rat, if you really crave a bit of diversity,” Maximillian joked.

“No, no, that’s fine!” John raised his hands, as if he was actually afraid he would make that threat true. Fluidly, he went to shake the hands of both men. “Glad to see you two.”

“We had time to make room in our calendar,” Ted stated.

“Indeed,” Magnus agreed.

John chuckled at a private joke. Already he could sense that the dynamics of the evening would play out like most of their nights together. He and Maximillian would chat while Ted and Magnus would weigh in on occasion, the former more so than the latter. Likely, Ted would also throw in the towel earlier. He had a tendency to drink fast.

“You know what this is?” Maximillian asked with a wide smile.

For once, John had no idea what the question could even be aiming at. “My bachelor’s night?” he tried the obvious.

“Not what I was getting at, no. This is the first time the four of us have come together and we are all aristocrats.” The gravity king pulled his shoulders back, his smile growing even wider. “I knew you would come around to the truth of Abyssal governance in due time.”

“The classy thing would be not to boast,” John drawled.

“I am not officially titled yet either,” Ted remarked.

Maximillian made a tossing gesture. “Formalities,” he dismissed.

“I’m about to put down the proverbial crown just to prove you wrong, buddy.”

“Uh-huh,” he answered with annoying dismissiveness. “That’s an odd way to say, ‘You were right, Max, please share more of your wisdom!’”

“I never doubted that you had a point and I also retain that the republic is an ideal worth striving for.” The Gamer punched his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t be a boneheaded boaster.”

Maximillian laughed, then dropped the topic – for now. The matters of politics and philosophy came up regularly between them, which was no wonder. By virtue of their station, they were constantly thinking about what the best ideas were and how they could be implemented. “In any and all cases, I would now be prepared to move ahead with the program. Follow me, former peasants, and I shall lead you to a night worthy of our ranks!”

“Any idea what he is planning?” John asked the other two men as they walked towards the exit.

Both shook their heads, which was all the answer these stoic men gave.

“And how have you been enjoying the festivities so far?” he presented another question, to get a few words out of them.

“It’s been good,” Ted responded first. “I know you’re sacrificing what should be for you to give the whole nation a time to get together. It’s working.”

“I am not sacrificing much,” the Gamer disagreed. “Just expanded on the outwards facing and public festivities a bit more than initially intended. And you, Magnus? Enjoying the time here?”

“It has been good. Nina and I have gone out every day. It’s been… important.”

“Trouble in paradise?” John asked. Of the four of them, Magnus had by far the most normal relationship. John had landed himself an arrangement that was miraculous on every level, Maximillian had a small-scale version of the same, and Ted was the husband to a caring dominatrix that got a kick out of finding more women for him. None of them were normal. Magnus had one lady he called his own and that was the arrangement he would stick with. He and Nina also had mundane issues in their relationships.

“The opposite, right now,” Magnus assured. “If you recall, she didn’t like that I was working so much.”

“I do remember that.”

“Thus, us spending a whole week just with each other has been a mending experience.”

“Well, glad my marriage is helping you,” the Gamer joked.

“You are always a helpful man.” The sincere compliment from another guy had John smile softly. It wasn’t the overwhelming joy he got from being praised by his loves, but the respect of his peers was quite close. “It is a wonder none of your women complain about having too little time.”

“They do,” Ted stated. “I am just not the one that deals with it, most of the time.”

“Your arrangement is also a lot looser,” John added. “I get away with it because I have three bodies and that whole internal weave.”

“Perhaps the solution to lonely women was harems all along?” Maximillian suggested with a jester’s smile on his face. The other men laughed and scoffed at the suggestion. Even John, the luckiest among them, knew better. Reality was that Magnus and Nina were normal, living in the kind of romantic arrangement most people would be content with.

They were out on the top of the star fort, crossing the lawn. At first, John thought that Maximillian was taking them to the main hub of the Transportation Station, but his goal instead turned out to be the I.D. Gates. Once they had arrived there, he pulled a key from his pocket.

“Anyone know what this is – and no Observe!”

“A key to some Wandering Barrier, obviously,” John remarked.

“It’s not quite so simple. Ted, Magnus, any guesses?” Both men quietly shook their heads. “Come on, you can make a few attempts for entertainment at least.”

Magnus took the bait after a groaning sigh. “A key to a Kingdom filled with festivities?”

“Nothing so ludicrous, I am afraid. Ted, got anything?”

“…A shortcut to Austria?” he suggested.

“If I had that, my life would be a lot easier.” Maximillian shook his head. “No, this, my dear friends, is the Key of Surprises! It was lost for many, many years and rediscovered just a few weeks ago during a renovation of the Habsburg library. What it does…” He stepped forward and inserted the key into one of the doors. A turn had the gap between the stone frame and wooden door glow with blood red light. “…is to guarantee that anything designed for the task connects to an open Wandering Barrier.”

“I hope the keyword there is ‘open’,” John pointed out. “I don’t want to stumble into someone’s house.”

“Indeed, it is only those Wandering Barriers that are meant to be accessible, no need to be worried beyond that.”

“Alright… then let’s ignore the ominous red light we just saw and-“

“Just one more moment!” Maximillian said and suddenly ran around the wall of entrances. Glass clacked against glass and the gravity king returned with four backpacks filled with booze. “Our travel rations. Keep them with you at all times.”

John checked the contents of his backpack. It was beer, vodka, orange juice, gin and tonic water. Evidently, Maximillian had customized their packages.

“Now, we can go!” the best man of the evening declared.