Collide Gamer

When John arrived, Vinh and Lu Zhi were already fighting.

Not truly fighting. Had they unleashed even a tenth of what they were capable of, the stray arcs of phoenix fire and jade-bound might would have shaken the Guild Hall. No, theirs was a fight of a dramatically smaller scale.

They were wrestling.

Micro-bikini oil wrestling, to be exact.

Shoulder against shoulder, they pressed against each other. Knees slipped over the oil-covered floor of the ring, attempting to find purchase. Consistent failure had them both locked in their situation. Porcelain pale and caramel brown skin glistened. Red-tipped black and dark-grey hair stuck to slick curves. Tiny triangles of leather had long since been shifted out of position, leaving nipples exposed and womanhoods glimpsed at.

“Stubborn little bitch!” Vinh suddenly gave it another push. Leveraging her superior size, she finally managed to put the imperial tomboy on her back. Alas, she also slipped in the process, landing on her shoulders next to her pale competitor.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from a rebellious general!” Lu Zhi shot back and swung herself on top of Vinh. Hands locked, fingers intertwined, tomboys struggled, muscles tensed, lips curled into wide grins. “I’ll break you.”

“Try,” Vinh dared.

Slowly, the phoenix’s chosen pushed back against her enemy. In an effort to gain control, Lu Zhi gave way on her own terms. Predicting that, Vinh disentangled her fingers fast, then wrapped her arms around the empress’ midriff. The tackle knocked the air out of the imperial tomboy. Reflexive responses turned out to be too little. Vinh managed to bend the empress across her lap.

SMACK!

As fiery as her temper was the force of her hand landing on Lu Zhi’s rear. There was something innately hot about that view from an outside perspective – that could be said about the whole situation. Hot, glistening tomboys in micro bikinis wrestling scratched all the right parts of his male brain. That being said, there was very little sexual about it all to them.

All Lu Zhi looked at having her ass spanked by her enemy was humiliated fury. “That is not yours to tap!” she declared.

“Then whose is- Ow!” Vinh caught an elbow to the ribs. A winding of her bottom-heavy frame later, Lu Zhi was out and their brawl continued.

John had been making his way around the ring the entire time. He was not particularly worried that anyone would find them nor was he brave enough to intervene in this fight. Whatever it was they had in their system, it was not yet excised.

“So, how did that start?” he asked.

“Uhm, uh… uhm….”

If John had a nickel for every time he had seen Daiyu in a micro bikini, stuttering, and covering her face by holding up Doc the Duck, then he would have 2 nickels. It was not a lot and it wasn’t even that weird that it happened twice. Really, it was an inevitability when she had such a lecherous mistress.

Daiyu was all the same a treat to his eyes. One that he did his best not to stare at too much. Unfortunately, his male pattern recognition leapt straight from her large tits to the enormous pair beside them.

Qingmei had not been spared the Heavenly Jade Empress’ whims. Her purple skin was on display in practically its entirety. Though her nipples were covered, the edges of her large areolas peeked past the rims of the tiny triangles of the micro bikini. A tiny bikini skirt did leave John wondering still how the lower lips of a lamia were situated.

There were several questions one had to ask regarding lamia biology.

Qingmei was holding a phone, unperturbed by the fact that he was seeing her in this borderline nude state. In the first place, she was no stranger to showing off. Though she usually did it as a maternal mask, she was no stranger to using her assets to entice a positive opinion. They just both knew that didn’t work on him.

“There is not much to tell,” Qingmei responded in stammering Daiyu’s stead. “They engaged in a public butting of heads. It escalated. The empress moved the fight here. Vinh accepted. On her behest, I contacted you.”

“I see.” John turned his attention back to the ring. A fast-paced scuffle was playing out, involving many tackles, winding curves, kicking and screaming. At the end of it all, the two tomboys lay two metres away from each other, heavily breathing.

“You know what…” Vinh gasped. “Fuck you.”

“No…” Lu Zhi gulped, trying to get control of her lungs again. “Fuck… you…!”

“Fuck… you!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“FUCK YOU!”

They shot back upright, pointing at each other. “Don’t smack my ass, you inciter of unrest!”

“I’ll smack whatever I want – it’ll be your face next, cousin!”

“Yeah, you just try that!”

“I will!”

“Good!”

“Yeah!”

John could practically feel the sparks fly between them. He would have believed it was plain old annoyance, had it not been for the massive, sharp grins on each of their faces. Somehow, this had become more sexually charged after they had stopped oil wrestling. “If you got it out of your systems, could we talk about what you need me here for?”

His voice caused the two tomboys to swing their heads sharply in his direction. Somehow, they had not noticed his entrance.

A smug grin immediately appeared on Lu Zhi’s face. “Hiiiii, hubbyyyyy,” she spoke with the kind of sweetness that wasn’t actually meant for him. Moving swiftly, she dashed across the room and put sticky arms around his neck. Oil stained his casual clothes. He might have gotten mad at that, if she were any less adorable.

Lu Zhi dragged herself up and placed a kiss on his lips. Hand parting her clumped-up hair, John held her in place to deepen that bond. Her usual sweetness was initially muted by the chemical taste of the lubricant. Whirling tongues dissolved that issue in a matter of moments.

“H-here you go.” A chair was helpfully pushed up to John’s behind. He dropped down into it. The cushions feathered his fall, the short tomboy in his lap adjusted herself, putting that perfectly round ass on his thigh. His hand roamed over the white, oil-slick curvature. There was no more pleasing shape in all the universe than this.

“Thank you, Daiyu,” John said to the lady-in-waiting.

“Quack!” the duck under her arm was quick to respond.

“N-n-n-n-no problem.”

“N-n-n-n-no problem!” Vinh echoed mockingly.

“Hey!” John shot the fiery tomboy an annoyed glare. “You can hit Lulu all you want, but don’t insult Daiyu. She’s trying her best.”

“…What, is she in your harem too?” Vinh asked.

“Not yet,” Lu Zhi joked.

“E-ee-e-eeeeempreeeeess!” Daiyu’s panicked sounds were between screech and stammer. A marvellously shy fusion of opposite ends of the expressive spectrum.

“Sorry, that was a bit much.” The Heavenly Jade Empress apologized and wiggled around on John’s lap some more. “And sorry about your clothes, hubby.”

“Considering the amount of dresses I have torn to shreds in my time, I have no room to complain about some oil stains,” John responded. “I’ll just grab some other clothes before I head out again.”

“Good, good.” A little jump later, the imperial tomboy had found herself in a comfortable position. Ass in his lap, spread legs framing his, and using his chest as her backrest, she was shamelessly showing off to Vinh. “This is what it looks like when you successfully hold down a man, bimbo.”

“…Whatever,” the phoenix’s chosen responded in a low mutter.

‘I get the feeling that’s the continuation of the conversation that started all of this,’ the Gamer thought. “Did you call me just to show me off to her?” he asked.

“If I did, would that be a problem?” the Heavenly Jade Empress purred.

“Not really, I just like being in the loop.” He ran his hands up and down her sides, feeling her smooth skin. At another time, he would have started teasing her nipples at a minimum, perhaps even fingered her right in front of her chief political rival. “Not like I didn’t already tell Vinh about us.”

“If I took a picture right now, you two would be in so much trouble.” The fiery tomboy moved out of the ring. Without a single care, she stepped under the shower that had been positioned in the corner exactly to wash off the oil.

John shrugged. “We’d just claim it was fake. No one would change allegiances based on it.”

“Prolly.” After a quick rinsing, Vinh helped herself to the soap. “Still, find it pretty brazen for you two to show me that. I respect that.”

John was going to answer kindness with kindness. “I respect that you asked to attend these festivities. I thought you would just chase Lu Zhi around the globe for your duel.”

“That was the plan, but you’re so slippery. No matter how many tips I get on where you are, I always get there late. Stop being a coward!”

“How about you stop being stupid?”

“Whatever, dude.” Vinh put the shower back on, washing out the soap and the remaining oil. It was a quick and efficient shower, ending with her stepping out and flash-drying herself with fire magic. Her hair went from wet to decoratively messy in two seconds. “I’m trying to be a little smart about this.” She rolled her tattooed shoulders. “Make contacts outside Asia, talk to the world, all of that. Maybe the threat of me getting allies will force you to get your ass into gear already.”

Air blew from Lu Zhi’s nostrils. “The very idea that you will outmanoeuvre us in the realm of diplomacy is laughable. We shall not even entertain the notion.”

“Then what are you entertaining?”

“A scheme for the greater unity of the Middle Empire.”

“Think I told ya before that I don’t particularly care about unity.”

“What if it came via a stupidly brazen idea?”

Vinh stopped halfway in the motion of picking her clothes back up. It gave John a way too good view of her toned-yet-soft ass. Not a masterpiece like Lu Zhi’s, but very harem worthy regardless. ‘Bad!’ he chastised his own thoughts. Though, on this front, he was not leading the charge.

“Go on?” the phoenix’s Cardinal Chosen asked.

“My proposal is a simple one: unity through family. If you join the harem of the same man as I, then our differences can be worked out in ways a lot more enticing than combat to the death.”

Vinh burst out laughing. Her body was shaking with mirth while she picked up her clothes. Ribbons were used to tie her hair into her typical low pigtails. “Wait…” her giggling stopped slowly, “…you’re serious?”

“John, do you have the scroll at hand?”

“I put it in the Guild Bank,” he explained as he withdrew it. As his hands were messy from feeling up Lu Zhi, he handed the expensive message to Daiyu. “Read it to Vinh, would you?”

“O-okay…” Daiyu inhaled deeply, then rattled down the contents as swiftly and smoothly as she could, “We, in our authority as Heavenly Jade Empress, ruler of all that is of Heaven and Earth and in-between, sovereign of the Middle Empire, general of the banners of all clans of China, Mongolia, Vietnam and beyond, hereby suggest to our spouse the beginning of five imperial bloodlines. This unprecedented privilege shall be granted to him, of foreign blood, under the demand that he add to his imperial harem all those chosen by the Cardinal Beasts, unifying the paths of Heaven and Earth in unity through family, love, and future synchronized.”

“By Heaven and Earth, you are serious!” the fiery tomboy exclaimed. “That’s fucking hilarious, you want to unify China by the dick?”

“Sex kills less people than swords do,” the Heavenly Jade Empress stated simply. “Are you open to this proposal?”

Vinh looked at John, then Lu Zhi. Nipples pushed against the tiny bit of fabric on her breasts. An absent-minded adjustment of the leather thong had her lightly gasp. “...That’s so stupidly hot,” she said. “Mostly it’s stupid though. You’re both hot, but you’re both in the way of what I want to achieve. This isn’t ending without a fight.”

“As I said she would say,” Qingmei chimed in. “She cannot be reasoned with, my empress.”

“Yup,” Vinh agreed wholeheartedly. “I’ll have my fight. I owe it to myself to try. That’s how simple it is.”

“Our goals here aren’t necessarily unaligned.” Lu Zhi stroked John’s chin with passive appreciation as she spoke. “What if you lose, Vinh?”

“Then I guess I’ll get executed like the traitor I am?”

“A potential path forwards, but so wasteful. You’re strong. Once you’ve made your attempt, would it not be better to try and influence things from within? We offer you this, Vinh Phuong, to be a foundational part of the new order upon the completion of this civil war. With all Cardinal Chosen within the Forbidden City, four cardinal households beneath the imperial dynasty, our realm will be stronger than ever.”

“I don’t do political blowjobs,” Vinh clarified. “But… fuck it, if I lose, you can woo me or whatever. Beats dying a second time.”

“Then, for our graciousness, our demand in return,” Lu Zhi responded. “Should we find ourselves defeated, we remind you that the realm will require rulership and that you have no experience in it. Take your position as empress, if you are victorious, but find the wisdom to consider a path of integration.”

“…So you’re saying that you’d subordinate yourself to me, if I win?”

“And that you should consider cozying up to the worthiest male monarch in the world to marry and strengthen the bloodlines.”

“Your suggestion is that, whatever happens, I hop on his dick?”

“I like stacking the deck in my favour.” Lu Zhi grinned and stretched across John’s lap like a smug cat. “You would have won and I would respect that. You can try to earn your bragging rights, but I will not leave anything besides a prosperous Mandate of Heaven. I refuse to let history remember me as anything but the greatest.”

“And the other three Cardinal Chosen are fine with this? Do you even know who they are?”

“We know they’re all women and I know my hubby is very good with those.”

“It’s a curse, honestly,” John said.

“So yeah, this is my plan for the stability of the Middle Empire and all of Asia.”

“It’s a stupid one. Unifying a continent through sex, cuddles and kisses?” Vinh’s smirk matched that of her fellow tomboy. “Consider me on-board. If you want to try and tame me after all is said and done, I want to see how that works out.” She put her remaining clothes back on and then turned to the exit. “This is the kind of amusing idiocy that I live for. First, however, it’s war.”

“Do as you must.” After Vinh had left the room, Lu Zhi turned to John. “I think that went pretty well. Just two more Cardinal Chosen to convince. By the Heavens, I can’t wait to be part of that sixsome… You okay, Daiyu?”

“N-no… awawawawa…” the black-haired woman hid her face behind the open scroll. “T-t-t-this is… so embarrassing…!”

Once more, John felt like he was forgetting something.